an open invitation for some indulgent whining about the rubbishness of pregnancy

[microferret]

Warning & disclaimer: This is a thread reserved exclusively for whingeing. I want my baby very much and am very aware that many people have difficulties with becoming pregnant, however this does not mean that I am obliged to enjoy all the shit that comes with carrying a child for 9 months. Therefore I am having a moan and inviting some like-minded individuals to join in with their tales of woe. Fellow misery-guts only, please!

I HATE BEING PREGNANT. HATE HATE HATE IT. First of all, I find the whole concept of it profoundly disturbing. I know we're supposed to relish the idea of new life in our bellies and all that guff, but I have never had new life in my belly before and it's a lot to get used to in just a few months. I find the idea of something in me, eating my food, using my blood and making me swell up like a cobra that's swallowed a balloon very upsetting. I don't find it beautiful, or moving. I don't enjoy the kicks (though I will grudgingly concede they do reassure me that all is well), I find them freaky, especially when the skin moves visibly. I hate the lack of control. I hate the weird new things that happen every day. I hate the constant worrying that something will go wrong. I hate that I have to go through all this and DH gets off scot-free. The UNFAIRNESS OF IT ALL!!! I hate watching him have beer and wine whenever he bloody feels like it. I hate that he acts as though it's some massive sacrifice when he doesn't have a drink one day.

I hate the pelvic pain; I hate the odd sleeping positions I have to adopt, (which have lately been resulting in a nightly dead arm); I hate getting fat; I hate the default chirpy positivity of everyone who asks how I'm "enjoying" being up the duff and the uncomfortable look on their face when I say I'm not (actually... that's a lie. I secretly enjoy the uncomfortable look )

I am not blooming. I am not glowing. My hair does not look amazing. I have a spotty back and a new pocket of cellulite every week. I waddle like a duck. My tits already seem more pendulous and my nipples have turned into giant, raspberry-like structures that are erect at all times. I have shoved enough suppositories up my vagina for several lifetimes, yet the thrush always seems to return. My gums bleed profusely despite diligent brushing, flossing and mouthwash use. I have had recurrent UTIs and an astonishingly tenacious kidney infection.

Added to this, nearly all my friends have sailed through pregnancy, without so much as a single symptom, apart from excessive joy and wonderment at the miracle of life. The one friend who admitted to hating it said she felt like a failure, and as if she should have another baby "just to get pregnancy right this time". The pressure on women to enjoy every single aspect of motherhood is just ridiculous. I am tired of feeling guilty or inadequate for not liking being pregnant. I DON'T like it, and I don't have to like it.

And neither do you.

Come whine with me!

Oof, don't go and read the Guardian today then ladies. Article about how drinking alcohol during pregnancy should be a criminal offence. Nothing about quantity of alcohol, but just 'drinking alcohol'. I got the righteous rage, despite my only a few hours sleep, and ranted in the comments section at people who seemed to agree with this as being totally acceptable.

Women = know your place. Men must tell you what to do, especially when you are doing something that they themselves have no first hand experience of, and women have been managing to do mostly on their own for millions of years. Raaaah.

Brie. Liver. Pate. More than one glass of wine. A sneaky cigarette with said extra glasses of wine. Dancing at ceilidhs. Not looking like the fucking Pilsbury Dough Boy. With added puff. Not having the world's most sensitive sense of smell on the Tube, in the rush house, in a heat wave. ARGH.

Waddled around Aldi today with both the toddler and the stroppy seven year old - forgot to take my £1 for the trolley so a nice (possibly scared of the deranged looking, giant, pregnant, hormonal mess standing before him) young man on the tills lent me a quid - probably realised I want going to run off with it!

Treated myself to a bottle of bucks fizz and a lump of brie. Sod it. At three units a bottle, a glass or two won't hurt and am willing to take a chance on the dangers of cheese.

Today has brought two new joys;
1; antibiotics for a bladder infection I didn't know I had - how could I when I'm averaging 25 wees a day anyway.
2; My first bout of acid refluxy heartburn. I suppose I should consider myself lucky it's taken this long to appear.
I had some Buck's Fizz at the weekend and icy cold in a champagne flute and it was almost like a proper drink.
I reckoned a 3% you could have about a pint and be under 2 units..

My mouth fills with bitter tasting saliva every time I swallow. Fucking bastard tossing hormones.

Ah, I've found kindred spirits! This is my second pregnancy and I can't be bothered to hide my feelings about it as well this time so I've been getting some odd looks as I don't react as scripted to the usual banal questions. I hate the sickness, the food aversions, having to take a daily tablet in a very specific window to avoid puking my guts up for the entirety of the next day, the aches, the pains, the fucking ugly udders I've acquired with giant, bulging veins and the fact they still hurt at 16 weeks. The fact I do not 'bloom' in the second trimester but feel like shit throughout, being treated like a simpleton by midwives (one in particular refers to urine samples as wee-wees, as though I am a toddler), having little patience or energy for my existing child, having to defend the bump against said child and his elbows/head/fists. The knowledge that I have 24 more weeks of this. People telling me 'it'll all be worth it', I fucking know that, I wouldn't have got knocked up for a second time otherwise but it doesn't make it any easier right now! The total lack of sex drive and the accompanying guilt. Ahhhhhhhh, that feels better. There is more but I have to go to bed now as I am still crippled by tiredness in the evenings and the toddler will be awake at the crack of dawn.

I have just come across this. I am 37+4 and the things that I have hated are

in the 1st trimester the constant feeling of being sick yet it never happening
feeling cold so having to wrap up in pjs, jumper and fleecy blanket when i had got home from work
feeling tired all the time

2nd trimester that was ok

3rd trimester the odd bout of heart burn
the constant peeing
the bouts of having lots of poo TMI I know
not being able to get comfy
not sleeping properly at night due to the heat
feeling sweating down below due to the heat which makes me want to pee even more tmi I know

think that is everything. fingers crossed as long as baby is on time it will all be over in just over 2 weeks

People. Just all other people. Today I wanted to sit down to drink my giant, fuck off guidelines, coffee and there was no space. The waiter wouldn't bring me another table so I sat in the doorway like a giant, beached whale. Then couldn't get back up. Good luck getting new customers now.

Also went swimming and was my very own floating island. Then everyone stared in horror in the changing rooms. Forgive me for dragging my giant self out of the house you ignorant whorebags.

Today I've just been quite disappointed in how limited I've been by my own labia. Why do they hurt? It's not muscular, it's not vaginal, it's not cervical... it's definitely my labia that are aching and sore. Get up from sitting down - walk like John Wayne for 10 minutes, feel as if you have to hold on to yourself to stop them falling off/sagging or something.

Not being able to tell people that my labia are the reason why my face looks like thunder. It's not that the whole of me 'isn't coping with the weather' or 'have you had enough now?'... "NO, JUST LABIA ACHE. Thanks for asking "

Today I've just been quite disappointed in how limited I've been by my own labia

^^ YES!! Unfortunately I completely identify with this. My vulva in general is getting me down. If it isn't aching it's bloody itchy or scarily swollen or all three at once.

And yes, exactly, it's not really a topic for light convo at the checkout in Tescos.

Thrush and piles so big my bum cheeks don't meet. Can't sleep. Cannot keep up with my two dds.

I want to drink a bottle of rose not half a glass.

Twice daily injections and no unbruised space left.

I'm going to annoy you all and say for the most part I love pregnancy But I hate pitting oedema which I always get everywhere, face hands, feet, legs, arms, EVERYWHERE!!! and I hate long long looong hospital labours, which thankfully are getting shorter with each one.

I'm going slightly mad. More like batshit crazy.

I keep obsessively monitoring movement - like way more than I have been advised by my high risk specialist medical team. Because you know, really sad stories and exreme cases on the interwebz are far better sources of advice.

Well it takes my mind off the inability to get up a flight of stairs without stopping and huffing/puffing.

Also my heart sinks at the thought of the bloody breastfeeding which is coming next. Still don't get my body back/have to wear shitty clothes and bras.

Oh ladies I'm howling!! I just laughed so much I nearly (literally) wet myself, it's as though I haven't been to the toilet in the last hour... OH NO, I HAVE, I'M IN THERE MOST OF MY LIFE NOW.
In fact yesterday I was at work, went to the loo, sat back down at my desk and needed to go again?! Seriously?!?! Fuck you bladder.
I told someone I was 23 weeks and they said 'Gosh that's gone quickly!' No it fucking hasn't, fuck off.
Also, baby, darling, I do love you but why do you have to wake me up at stupid o clock by kicking me? (I know I should be grateful that it's not an ear splitting shriek but still...) It's not endearing, I don't think you're a special little miracle, I think you're already an attention seeking monster. Gaaahhhhh

Yes yes yes to all the above. And it goes soooool slowly. Other people's pregnancy seems to drag by. Several miscarriages and one two year old means I've been pregnant a shed load of times and the good news is at 18 weeks this one seems to be going well so far. But the nausea, tiredness, not drinking, not feeling 'like me' is awful and I'm not due until the first week of January which feels like a whole bloody year away!

I second what someone else said too about the Breastfeeding, sleepless nights (DS was an awful sleeper) and not being able to wear your own clothes (Breastfeeding again, you have to have breast-whipping out friendly clothes and also bf made me put on weight!) but at least you're not pregnant and can also have a couple of glasses of wine.

Oh and here's a new thing. I've been sorting out the linens and bedding (nesting much?) and noticed that half my pillowcases are ruined from mascara stains.

This is due to the amount of crying into my pillow I've been doing for the last nine months.

On the plus side it's raining here today and not hot...nice

Three months. That's the maximum time my baby will be allowed to be breast fed. That'll be exactly a year of my body belonging to someone else, I'm done, I want it back. Christmas Day will be MINE.. mwahaha...

Hehe ohthegoats - I need to be spending some time in the office by 3/4 months so this time round baby will really need to be on a bottle early. Worth going back to work early for the excuse in the face of the judgey ones!

I am so fed up of my trousers, none of them fit my 15wk shape. They either dig in or slide down, I'm on my second pair of ill fitting jeans due to giving up on the lovely but too tight in the leg new skinny maternity trouser.
I'm also exhausted and thanks to DD had to get up at 6am.

This thread is fantastic.

Feel too rough to post anything else but thank you, thank you, thank you....I am not alone!

Oh god, this thread makes me feel so much better about dreading the next six months... I'm only 12 weeks and already thinking "oh jesus, what the hell am I doing..." This baby is very much wanted and DH and I are very ready, but I've felt so bloody rotten for about seven solid weeks now, I want to strangle the next person who says I should be loving every minute of pregnancy because it's over so quickly! I. Wish.

Septbaby Most supermarket Camembert is pasteurised, so you can go for it! I had some the other day.

hotfuzzra
"I told someone I was 23 weeks and they said 'Gosh that's gone quickly!' No it fucking hasn't, fuck off."

I lol'd

At 23 weeks as well. Baby has just commenced kicking me right between the boobs. I wasn't aware they could reach that far. Rampant acid reflux has made today a sicky lumpy throated nightmare.

I'm normally vegan but have been eating soft cheeses now and then just to stick two fingers up at the establishment. It's a load of bollocks anyway. I found this interesting factoid here www.cbc.ca/news/health/listeria-faqs-1.977385 which states that:
"The prevalence of listeriosis is about 20 cases in one million people, according to Dr. Allison McGeer, an infectious disease microbiologist with Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto."
So - you're probably more likely to be killed in a car crash than suffer the adverse effects of munching on a wedge of camembert, but nobody tells you not drive, although tbh it's only a matter of time before the general advice is not to leave the house except to do prenatal yoga and to spend the entire 9 months swathed in bubble wrap, eating boring bland food, avoiding any activity that is remotely enjoyable and waiting for day to become night.

Some people must just really get a kick out of telling women what to do.

Ohthegoats but then you won't have the full 6-12 months to look down your nose at other women in 'that' branch of Starbucks which is always full of Bugaboos and overpriced nursing wear clad women (there's one in every town).
However I feed, I'm taking her down Costa's. Got the loyalty card.