Shiny and new posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[MrsGiraffe12]

Hand holding, fish slapping and general bat shit craziness :-)

Oh good grief there's a thread about how you feel like you're going to die when you give birth. Argh. Just when I booked into the MLU.

...not for imminent arrival I hasten to add. just booked in for 3-4 weeks time LOL.

squizita I just saw that thread and was like omg going to tell my midwife on Wednesday that I changed my mind about attempting a vbac if I go into labor before c section date based on that thread alone lol x

The OP is saying her births were OK, but her mum wants her to tell a friend all births are awful so said friend isn't shocked.
Wish shed said that not "did you want to die" ... kind of a different question! And lots of posters saying yes, lots no though too...

TeaRex could it be sciatica, rather than SPD? Given its bum cheek location . I'm getting it on and off, particularly if I've not been sitting in a great position. I'm wary of SPD developing too, as I had it quite badly last time. So far so good, though.

10 weeks today! 2 weeks until 12 week scan. Nausea and heartburn continuing but I seem to be coping better this week and not feeling so bloody miserable about it. I think I'm getting better at avoiding trigger foods.

Glad you've gone three weeks with no bleeding cakebaker, long may it continue. And if you really want, here is a minnow-sized fish slap...

Re the driving, I passed at 24 weeks last time, but as I was working full time and then ended up in hospital at 29 weeks, I didn't get much driving done after passing, until I was home with DS! Definitely found it quite scary to begin with, but I'm a year and half on now, and with lots of practice (I've done a lot of driving with DS to visit my parents) I am much more confident. Parking in small spaces still freaks me out (especially after we switched to a big family car!) but I cope ok by doing things verrrryyyy sloooooowwwwwly!

For goodness sake, ladies first timers breath have a slapped fish you will not feel like you will die. Apparently it's the closest you do come to it, not sure If I believe that but having had a traumatic birth and a normal run of the mill one I know which one I'd prefer for my third but ultimately it's like this, you know when you have a really really really hot curry/chilli, and then you need to poop (sorry but best way I knew how to describe it to hubs) anyhow you poop and it literally is like you can't sit down for a week, multiply that by 5 at least and you're vaguely but not overly somewhere close!

Remember though it's worth the pain totally to have that little bundle.

davidtenant I'm a 2nd time mum and 37+1 weeks but still crapping myself about birth, probably because DS was a c section haha and I've an elective booked at 38+4 but if I go into labour before then I've said I'll give it a bash. Now I'm scared too after that thread x

Wow just read and commented on that thread too! Pretty scary for first timers. It really made me think tho and got me worrying about this one! Anyway a long way to go yet so will think about that a bit later I think!

All I can say is it's all worth it in the end and you really do forget!

Pleased that everyone seems to be having an ok time
On here. No news from me, feeling marginally better actually but still v tired! Nausea on and off, worrying a bit that my tummy isn't so hard but I will find anything to worry about given the chance so trying to
Ignore it! Booking in appointment tomorrow at 9
Wks. Feeling a bit more real mainly as none of my clothes fit!

Mrsg, now you listen up, I've got my stern teacher stare on! Ds1 was bad, there was blood transfusions cut tears the works infections galore plus an internal by what can only be described as a bitch of a Dutch/German doctor was awful, my midwife now still remembers how petrified I was about ds2's birth, to the point of me demanding to know why I wasn't allowed a section etc (no real reason pre se just pure fear) ds2 though labour couldn't have been more different. Gas n air, two hours about ten mins of pushing, yes I tore yes I needed stitches but overall so much better. Hoping for db3 to be a water birth nice and simple, unless I can't have gas n air, that stuff is blood good! Anyhow, lecture over. All births are different, my key advice though cliche I know is listen to your body, it knows what it needs to do.

Ps, cross your legs! Haha.

Oh and by the way the stinging part the burning part it only lasts while the baby is crowning ten minutes if that it's all over and a wash of relief. Bit sore but the worst is over. And on that note, I must remember my iron tablets as I've been being naughty and forgetting them prob why I'm so tired again.

squiz I didn't feel like I was dying when I had DS honest :) and he was born doing a superman impression and his shoulder on the squiff practically laying on his side and at no point did I feel like I was dying. I sense a thread of very dramatic people. I may however have threatened to murder DH though lol

Seriously chill guys I might be odd but the burny bit was the best bit for me because that was when mw one more push and you'll have your baby :) if it was that awful people would never have more than one

Oh god. Stop panicking. I'm off to bed now but needed to reply as both squizita and mrsg both needed a fish slap! (Not sure if ilove is also a first time vaginal birth attempter).

If you re-read the thread, not everyone wrote that they felt they wanted to kill themselves. In fact there are many who don't share the sentiment, including the OP. She said her mother and sister told her to say that to a friend.

I had a vaginal birth last time. It was a 3 day labour, back to back, and a ventouse delivery with episiotomy. I'm going for the MLU this time. If it's as bad as wanting to kill myself, I wouldn't have chosen the MLU would I? The most painful part of the entire experience is the episiotomy. It was the only time I screamed during the entire labour. It hurts but it's very fast. I think squizita wrote in the thread that a ventouse pulled very hard? Maybe it did, but it didn't hurt. I was more worried at the time that DD would be stuck, the consultant couldn't get her out and they'll have to pull her back through the birth canal for a c-section!

No one mentioned how amazing and easy a recovery from a vaginal birth is. (At least I didn't see any). I walked out of the labour room, into the shower, with my toilet bag. I was able to clean myself, put on clean clothes, and then pick up and feed DD through the night in the postnatal ward. I have no pain afterwards. The episiotomy was done really well and probably prevented tearing. (I know episiotomy is a scary thought for many).

Go into it with an open mind. I think there's too much fear about labour and birth. Equally there are unrealistic romanisation of it from the active/natural/hypno birthing camp. I only wrote a few things in my first birth plan - no pethidine (because of medical history), breastfeeding, vitamin k and managed third stage. I planned to just go with the flow. You don't know how your labour would be until you are there. And remember, you can always ask for an epidural.

I did find yoga breathing useful for coping with labour pain. So I guess, for me, hypnobirthing, would probably also be useful. One thing I learned about myself is that I am very good with coping with pain, and have a very high pain threshold.

I'm assuming squizita is in an MLU within the same building as a CLU. It's a big hospital in London isn't it? Hence the epidural would still apply to you. The MLU I'm going to said the transfer time to the CLU is 5 min only.

Totally concur, apart from the epidoodle, never in your birth plan write 'doesn't want epidoodle unless absolutely necessary' your m.w will decide if it is or not put 'if episode asked for ensure your get the anethisist to move his butt as quickly as he can to my side to give it to me, and don't you dare touch my gas n air! '

Thanks ladies. I guess it's fear of the unknown :-)
Though if my pre eclampsia plays up they won't let me labour anyway (which is why I have a c section booked) x

My friend who had the vonteuse didn't say it hurt, but she was surprised when "the midwife braced her knee against the bed and made a noise as I pushed" TBH I'm not that scared by the concept (it's like when you get told sometimes they break up your wisdom tooth to remove it, different from the mental image) - just really interesting in contrast to the gentle little mime they show you in class!

The idea of intervention doesn't appeal I have to admit but having said that apparently I begged them during the whole 6 and a half minutes I pushed to pull DS out lol in my defense I was really tired.

I've hidden the thread.

When people start coming back x3 repeating their trauma, genuine near-death near tragedies or even explaining they needed therapy not to want to hunt down and murder their mw - none of whom are pregnant now (so would have noticed/found this thread in live threads). I've had enough work, life and medical experience of anxiety and stress after trauma to work out that thread is "drawing in" a dis-proportionally high number of traumatised women compared to the average in any given room based on the title. That title has 'trigger' written all over it.
It would be like someone starting a thread called "miscarriage and blood disorders" - I'd see it and go on it straight away thinking 'that applies to ME I can tell MY story' even if the OP said they didn't have it, most of the posters would have had it. So it would seem more common.

I'm happy, and perhaps deluded, in thinking "it's usually extremely painful, but I am in a MLU which can speed it up, in the same building as a ward where they can drug me up if needs be".

squizita ah I didn't see what the consultant was doing. Not that I wanted to know! I can assume they must pull hard because I honestly didn't think I really pushed. Otherwise I would have pushed it out on my own? But ofc I didn't see.

Wow 6.5 min baby. My notes said I tried pushing for an hour before they got a consultant in. The MW was going to give me a drip but the consultant said he can attached a ventouse already (it was at +2 apparently). I think he pulled 3 times or so. Which means about 15min, as I was having only 2 in 10 contractions. It felt like an age though.

one yea I was surprised when I read it but very proud of myself specially as I had heard the pushing takes hours ect I have a feeling I was very very lucky :)

squiz threads like that strike me as being along the same lines as people who share their mc horror stories with people who are currently pregnant while they sit there holding their newborn. Best avoided at all costs :)

Avoid, ignore and try not to be scared squiz . I had a great experience in MLU here in the Netherlands with DS. Short labour, vb, home 3 hours after DS was born and it didn't even hurt that much. I don't think anyone ever believes me when I say it didn't hurt that much.

It's just hit me that tomorrow is the magic 12 weeks for me Friday I meet my consultant for the 1st time freaking out a little bit. Not sure if it's the scan scaring me or meeting the consultant :( none of it is being helped by this move turning into a total night mare saw the outside of our new house yesterday and wasnt happy my mum pointed out that the inside is probably a million times better not judging a book by it's cover and all that. And on top of that DS is sleeping like a newborn up every hour in tears and stuff. So I am wondering if it's worth maybe starting pregnancy yoga or something to help me relax? And if anyone else has moved with a 3 year old and how they helped them deal with it

People who have good births talk less about it because there is less to say! Mine was fine.

baby maybe a bit early to give you a fish flap for freaking out for next weeks 12 week scan and appointment. Especially since I think you meant Friday week, not this up coming one. And your mum is right about the house. Once you are inside you don't even see what the outside is like. Besides it will be your own home. When you have your own things in there it will feel a lot more 'yours'. I think your 3yo is picking up on your stress. They are very good at that. My 3yo will say mummy are you sad/angry etc when she senses something is out. Once you are settled in the new home, he will be ok again.