Shiny and new posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage.

[MrsGiraffe12]

Hand holding, fish slapping and general bat shit craziness :-)

[PurplePest]

jnl0612 I spotted loads from 6 to 10 weeks, on and off, and still get the occasional episode.

hollyben thank you and fantastic lovely scan news!

cuppa it's highly likely I'll be offered CVS / amnio too as my MMC in February 2013 was after a positive DS outcome. I really am torn. Completely get the panic. Does it go away? I'm started to suspect not...

[Cakebaker35]

holly fabulous news x

purple and jnl welcome, you've come to the right place for general craziness and support, everyone here knows how you feel so it's the right place to offload! And purple I'm a fellow oldey

jnl I've had so much bleeding from wk 6 to 15, masses and masses of scans too, you never get used to it though it's so scary. Hoping yours stops soon.

cuppa welcome back. I've had several friends recommend the mindfulness approach rather than full on hypno birthing. I'd really recommend looking into both and seeing which, if any, might be helpful to you. I've read up a bit on both in an attempt to feel a bit more positive but hypno stuff just doesn't sit well with me most likely to v bad birth experience with dd. I was on that other thread and won't go into it here but it was and remains a very difficult thing to even think about and I had to have some counselling before even contemplating trying for number 2. I can see how the mindfulness approach could help in any situation at the moment but it needs practice for sure. I'm leaning towards an elcs this time but trying to remain open to the possibility of vbac. Doula would be interesting but I'm guessing huge cost? I'm sure one of these knowledgeable ladies on here will be able to shed some light...

[PurplePest]

thank you cake - I defo need some craziness and support (in equal measures) and hope I can throw lots out there too!

I am going to learn a lot here! My previous pregnancy with DD passed me by in a cloud of giggles and calm. This one will be a different one altogether!

thank you for the lovely welcome

[squizita]

Cuppa I found Yoga goes very well with "Birth Skills" and natal hypnotherapy in terms of combining calm thoughts with physical exercises. Of course this depends on whether baby plays ball on the day! But they don't feel too jinx and I was recommended yoga as it has a physical element and several friends found it of practical use regardless of pain relief.

[squizita]

Jnl I also had bleeds this pregnancy. Scary but worked out OK in the end.

[Gwlondon]

Cuppachaplz I used hypnobirthing with DS. I cannot reccomend it enough. I had a very stressful pregnancy due to gestational diabetes and so I knew that there was a chance I would be induced. So for me it helped so much. It takes time though as you have to practise. Basically it is techniques to be able to relax very quickly. There is also positive affirmations about birth which sounds naff but do help. I was very calm when I was induced. We nearly had to go theatre because baby was distressed but I was not frightened. I asked a question to clarify that it was an emergancy. I think overall I did not have a normal birth though because it was very quick (probably why DS wasn't coping). It doesn't guarantee a pain free birth but can shift your perception if it.
If you are interested go for it! This time I am doing wise hippo. (Last time it was Mongan method).

[Babytinx11]

Hey all and welcome to
New people will read everything properly in a bit checking in during the madness of my mums 50th birthday --love family get togethers it a bit like Christmas minus the drink in hand to
Numb the urge to kill people--

Fab scan news hollyben hope it helps you relax a bit :)

[ilovechops]

great scan news holly! hope you are relaxing into it a bit now?

cuppa I did hypnobirthing with DD1, I got really into it all! Found it incredibly relaxing pre birth and really helped me sleep in the last few weeks (would listen to it before going to bed). In labour it helped, I mean I had a very long back to back labour and in all honest the epidural helped more but I genuinely believe if she hadn't have been back to back then I may have coped with the hypnosis and the gas and air. I was by no means in a 'hypnotic trance' I was very much aware of what was happening but I found it helped me to cope with the earlier contractions before pain relief which was over 30 hours so it must have helped a bit! Also I listened to the soundtrack during labour in the bits where it slowed (obviously doesn't for everyone) and it helped me to rest where I could do as I associated the sounds with being relaxed and sort of asleep.

I think I need another fish slap today! I just can't stop worrying, I have another scan on tuesday when I should be 10wks but today I feel pretty fine, nausea subsided a lot, still there if I don't eat but a lot less. I am tired and my boobs are HUGE but my tummy feels softer and I just can't stop worrying that when I go there won't be a heartbeat. Urgh why can't I just enjoy feeling moderately OK instead of googling chances of missed miscariage every ten mins?!

[Cuppachaplz]

itty bitty trout tickle for you chops. No reason to worry, and today you are pregnant. However, we have all felt like this (probably most of the time being honest), so huge understanding hugs too xxx hoping tuesday brings the reassurance you need, and that you feel better soon

purple welcome. I would love to say things get easier, but not yet in my experience. I elected not to have amnio. After 15 MC the risk was too great for me, which was my choice, and having made it , I feel much better. I did feel very much as though I was 'expected' to have the amnio, or 'why would I refuse', but once I had, this was accepted, and things became much easier. I also am an 'old bird' which I believe skews the statistics. The otter thing to remember is that the 1/100 MC risk quoted is nationwide, and a few years old. It is usually considerably less, and you can ask for your unit's figure, and also for your consultant's. Good luck whatever your outcome xx

Thanks chops, GW, and cake. So, hypo is for pain relief mainly, yes? I'm not too worried about pain; I had a 70 hour labour with DS, water broken for 48h and fully dilated for 40, before they gave me a c-section. Most of this was at home with no pain relief, alternating between TENS, birthing ball, going for a run with the dog (yes, really!), and getting in and out of the bath. Whilst uncomfortable, and ungainly, I wasn't phased by pain, just exhausted by the end. The only time that I felt pain was when I had to go into hospital and they made me lie down for monitoring. What bothered me was that at this point, no-one listened to me, explained anything, or considered my opinion. I had a total meltdown at the consultant because he was ignoring my questions, and overriding me, so they made me have a c-section because I was 'over-emotional' rather than trig to calm me down, or heaven forbid explain anything. I am really keen to avoid losing control, or having my choices removed just because they won't listen. I was keen to look into the doula as I had hoped that this might be empowering, and that if she was aware of my choices she might stick up for me as I probably can't rely on DH to be forceful LOL

squiz thanks for the yoga advice, This is something that I have been meaning to look into for a while now, but should definitely look at this as a kick up the bum to actually do it! I need to get it through my head that attending classes or making sensible plans will NOT cause a MC or 'jinx' things #self-administers turbot!

x

[PurplePest]

cuppa I too feel as if I'll be expected to go for an amnio having briefly spoken to two midwives about future care. I had a CVS last February (which all happened so quickly that I didn't have much time to think) and the team I was being looked after by were fab.
My OH is not keen on going through CVS / amnio again but I think I'll wait for the scan results tomorrow and the blood results next week before thinking anymore about next steps and discussing it further. The midwives I've been in touch with have been amazing and know about my history and have already spoken with me re the inevitable 'high risk' label I'll be given. I'm seeing the gynae consultant at the hospital on Wednesday 15th September which will be good.
I totally understand your decision not to go through with the amnio and I can imagine the relief having made your decision.
You get to see LO tomorrow!!!

[Cuppachaplz]

purple, i know what you mean, I had times where I wanted it, and times where I didn't, but ultimately decided that the one thing I couldn't live with was if I had another MC after amnio, so declined. DH was worried that I would continue to stress until December, but actually, once decided, I felt much better.
I guess the important thing is that it is your decision. Best wishes whatever you decide. feel free to PM if you want.
Have you looked also into the NIFTY or harmony bloods, which may give more accurate readings?
x

[PurplePest]

Cuppa I'm exactly the same now when thinking about it. On one hand I think I should definitely have it and the other, definitely not. I've also been giving the NIFTY and Harmony tests lots of thought. My OH is anti us going down that route and TBH I'm not sure we can afford it! So much to think about!

[Cakebaker35]

cuppa mindfulness not so much about pain relief more just focusing and being calm, it sounds like your issues are about the people involved in your labour so I'd suggest you have a meeting with your mw about it, discuss all your concerns and make sure she's aware of what happened last time. Perhaps also look at writing a birth plan/preferences plan - I know this doesn't always get stuck to and can't be at times but worth noting things down maybe? Will you be at the same hospital this time?
Must admit although my labour was awful the staff were amazing and so I have a different issue with things.

tea thanks I've made an appt with my gp in the hope I might get a physio referral. Can't see me until next fri tho.

[Babytinx11]

Wow long day but not a bad as I was expecting tomorrow is my 12 week app still not sure if I am excited or terrified still can't shake the feeling that when I go there will be no heart beat or something will be wrong but have come to the conclusion that they only way I'll know is to go and probably the best person to put my mind at ease is the consultant as long as they actually listen to me

[missmakesstuff]

Hi all and welcome to the newbies! I hovercraft the thread to catch up but I'm just checking in, work's been manic with exam results etc and we've had the in laws here so I've had no time. I had another scan after more spotting, but everything was fine, baby measured a bit ahead, and I feel a lot happier, had booking appointment today too, which was fine.

See everyone is having interesting times too! Hope all ok with everyone.

I think weeks 9-12 are going to fly with work etc, which is good.

[Babytinx11]

Glad things are good with you now missmakes :)

[silverine]

Hi all
Sorry I've been off for so long... trying to be positive but been a bit down with the uncertainty. Thanks for checking on me cuppa welcome back, and thanks to everyone for the good wishes earlier.
Congrats on great scan holly and welcome newbies.
My appointment at the Fetal Medicine Centre was on Tuesday. They took the bloods first for the calculation, then the consultant spent over an hour doing the scan as she couldn't get the right position. Everything size and HB-wise was good (which makes an eventual decision even harder to contemplate as this is the furthest we've ever got...) but the NT was still high, higher than a week ago, at 4.4mm.... she calculated our MS risk at 1 in 35...
She also said this is quite high (so really confirmed what they said in the hospital last week) and we could go straight for cvs rather than harmony, but we had come for the harmony so stuck to it.
So the results should be by 2nd September. I'm kind of hoping it might be earlier, say 29th August but we are hosting a bbq on 30th and bad news would ruin it.... still hoping it will be good news obviously. After all 1 in 35 means there's 34 in 35 chance it could be fine...
Anyway, we have to just wait and see. I have my 12 week appointment next Tuesday, not the milestone i thought it was going to be now, so very mixed feelings at the moment!
Cuppa if you could do the harmony earlier, would you have done it? Would you keep the baby if MS?
purple I went with the harmony as it's non invasive but gives you a result with a high degree of certainty, so I thought that was a good option. Costs £500 at the FMC and includes cvs if result is positive. Good luck!

[Babytinx11]

Just wondering silver what ms stands for? I thought nt was for downs? Any way I hope all
Turns out well for you

[silverine]

Oh yeah, meant ds for downs...

[SuzyBean]

Congratulations on your scan Hollyben, that's fab news. Cuppa and Silverine, fingers crossed for you that all will be ok.x
Welcome newbies.
I'm 6.2 weeks now and time is going past very slowly . . I keep changing my mind, in one moment I think I feel really pregnant, then I think all my symptoms have gone and my boobs are deflating and then I can feel the start of morning sickness. . . I think I'm slowly driving myself mad!!!

[fedupofrainydays]

Sorry for the radio silence from me - stuck in wales with no reception. Been away for my birthday / to escape the building work at our house.
Sorry to catch up and see so much uncertainty and worry - hand holding for all who need it. Keep the posifrickintivity ladies... Today we are pregnant!

Also I have everything crossed for those awaiting outcomes of harmony / cvs / amino. My heart goes out to you as imagine this is just so stressful. I get so worked up about every thing to do with this pregnancy so can see how it must be so difficult getting past the scary first 12 weeks to then face those challenges. I was a wreck between 12 and 20 wk scan.

Can't get enough connection to catch up properly but hope there is good news too from others with positive scan news? I knew there were a couple coming up.

All ok here - just very tired and still freak out at every twinge. 34 weeks tomorrow though.. Eeeek!

[GandTnow]

Good luck today baby, I'm sure that you will have a great scan and can hopefully begin to relax. x

I think I've entered that funny time between scan that others have talked about, can't feel any movement yet, but also don't feel as crap all the time. Starting to worry something might go wrong with no basis for worry. Oh the joys!!

[Babytinx11]

I did wonder silver hope all turns out well for you :)
Right time to get ready for my scan keep telling myself just breathe and that everything will be fine.

[silverine]

Thanks baby!! Good luck today, you'll be fine!
Thanks for the good wishes fedup and suzy!

[HollyBen]

I hope you get a positive result silver. The waiting myst be so stressful. Even though I had a positive nuchal fold measurement yesterday I am still concerned. I told dh I don't want to tell work people until the results of the combined test are back.

Good luck today baby