Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[Minibagel]

I have an appointment with the dr tomorrow (5+5 I think) to see if I can maybe get an early scan because I got pregnant after my mc of dc2 without having a period in between so I could be more pregnant than that. I have been symptom spotting like mad, but the only things I can definitely notice are mega bloat and thirst so far and occasional nausea but no sickness. Today my abdomen is so bloated it is bigger than my boobs!

I know what will be will be but somehow I fret that going to the dr tomorrow makes it all official and me even more scared that it will end in mc again and somehow that will make me feel ashamed of making the appointment etc So why did I make the early appointment and make the pregnancy 'official'?! The pregnant brain is a crazy thing! Does anyone else know what I mean?

[Kloulou]

Thank you aMum and thank you everyone for your support and kind words.
I had a huge bleed this morning when I went for my first wee, then it slowed right down. It's picked up a bit now though. Have not been in any pain or feeling ill so have just kept myself busy for the day. Now I'm supposed to be sleeping but I'm wide awake... I felt ok yesterday and most of today, kind of relieved that the nightmare week was over even if it wasn't the way I hoped. Now I feel, empty?? I'm exhausted and yet unable to sleep. Obviously DH has been upset too but they don't feel it the same way as we do do they. He's currently snoring his brains out in bed.
He's making plans for next year now, booking a holiday to give us something to look forward to but all I can think is that having a baby was supposed to be our something to look forward to. I don't want anything else. I feel like I'm being bombarded with 'it wasn't meant to be', 'give your body a rest' etc etc. (when I say bombarded only a handful of people actually knew I was preg cos of the last MC.) I know everyone has my best interests at heart.
Sorry for being so depressing!

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Morning ladies,

I've just read back through. Klout - sorry you're going through all this.sending you hugs. Tomkat - congratulations!!

I found out last week that I'm pg again. Had an early mc in dec at 5 weeks. So I'm just working towards small goals at the moment. Think I'm currently 5+3. I'm seeing my dr tomorrow, as I've had brown cm pretty much since before my BFP. It's more of a yellowy brown rather than dark but it's worried me none the less. Hopefully gp will refer me for an early scan. Today I'm trying to remember that 'TODAY I AM PREGANT'!!

[amicablemoomin]

mini it makes it all real, doesn't it, and therefore all the more scary somehow. Good luck today.

Someone has a scan today, can't remember who but good luck also for that.

klou I'm so sorry you are going through this. The DHs like to feel they are 'doing' something I think, they are so helpless otherwise. Like you say, they are very upset but they aren't going through the physical and hormonal which is a whole different ball game.

Congratulations English. Def ask about the early scan!

[Cuppachaplz]

klou so sorry you're having to go throgh all this. DH special ways of dealing with things really do make you want yo hide don't they? Hugs

mini and english good luck with getting early scans

[Cuppachaplz]

Apologies in advance if this post contains way TMI.

So, since the bleed last Wednesday, and diagnosis of SCH, I have been having ongoing fresh bleeding with no clot and no pain. The doc said to expect this so, whilst obviously concerned, I haven't rung back and badgered them. Last night the blood became darker / older looking. I took this to be a good sign. Today I am passing what looks like coffee grounds. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal?
Also, I am now passing blood from my back passage. I am taking progesterone 400mg BID; the first dose gave me thrush so I was told to use them as suppositories, could it be this? Or related to the pregnancy?
I can't have strained myself as I haven't really been since the constant vomiting started, not surprising really if no food is staying down.
Thanks in advance ladies, and sorry for the unpleasant post in the morning.
I can't believe how many things are happening this time! I've never had a pregnancy like it. I've only just got back from the docs about my eye, I can't call him back again, he'll think I'm nuts!

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

klou I think he's just dealing with the loss in his own way. If we all behave the same, the world wouldn't be such an interesting place, would it? For me, I needed to keep busy. I was adamant not to take a break at all from work. For example, I took an emergency leave on the friday I had the EPRC (I started bleeding uncontrollably just before I was to take DD to nursery). And I was back to work on Monday. For my first MC, I just continued working. It's not that I wasn't grieving. I just can't handle sitting at home with nothing to do. I needed things to continue as if nothing happened. Like you say, having the baby was the thing you both were looking forward to, and he might be hoping the holiday can help take the pain off it.

Welcome back EnglishGirls.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

cuppa I'm no medical professional but I believe the common wisdom is that brown blood is old blood? I haven't taken progesterone either, so couldn't help with that. Though I remember the iron tablet made my poo really really grim.

[Cuppachaplz]

onelittle I had assumed that the brown blood I was seeing was old blood, so the haematoma had stopped bleeding! all for the good :)
But was bothered passing black almost drying lumps now. Sorry I guess my coffee ground description wasn't too helpful :/
Blood from back passage is fresh and bright red, and was quite heavy, which was probably the most alarming thing.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

I had black poo with iron tablets. I found out from dr google that it's normal to have constipation and black poo with a high iron doseage. It was a shock when I first saw it. Have you tried googling progesterone and poo and see if it's normal. (I know you shouldn't dr google but that's what I did). Maybe try ring the triage nurse of your GP clinic if you are worried?

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

But that bleeding sounds worrying I agree. I didn't have blood but just really shocking black poo.

[squizita]

Cuppa I found mini babybel and oatcakes satifying and easy to keep down. Also breakfast cereals without milk (crunchy nut clusters).
I also had a sty recently, wonder if it's anything to do with the changes in ph, acidity etc' that we must get?
I had some blood from sharp stools, but if you've not had them, see your doctor- always a good idea with bottom bleeding that isn't obviously piles as in my case. Maybe TMI but could pushing the suppositories up there scratched you? Also TMI but after a bout of food poisoning I one pooped more or less raw stomach acid and it burned me - could it be that from vomiting?
Yes, after bleeds I have had dark claggy stuff come out - like s pocket of blood has dried ages ago, broken up and then flushed out. Old blood. :)

Mini Know what you mean! Wise move to get a scan though, will reassure you of dates and it's in the right place.

Klou Hang on in there. Such a tough time. Everyone deals with it differently but it can be mighty lonely in the midst of limbo.

Congrats English - I had brown mucus about a week, from just before my BFP to a few days after, same as you describe yellow/brown. Also had a red bleed! Now at 23 weeks, so don't be too alarmed... FX it stops for your sanity's sake! :)

[squizita]

Forgot my non news: hot shower right after my clexane/aspirin, managed to cut my foot (on the border of a toenail). Did not notice till I was getting dresses. BLOODY HELL YOU'D THINK I'D CUT IT OFF. I was disappointed after getting through 5 wipes and a wad of tissue to find a tiny hair like injury at the base of a toenail. And I'd done my toenails yesterday: no mean feat with a bad back and bump!
Also was about to moan "haven't felt much movement" but just had some little prods (baby knows it's breaktime and is asking WHERE ARE THE BISCUITS YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE BISCUITS!). I say 'breaktime' - this is my morning off but like a sadcase I'm hanging out in the shared office doing a bit of filing. #nolife if I were a twitter youngster.

[amicablemoomin]

Enjoy the filing and the prods Squiz!

[Alb1]

cuppa glad ur finally on to old blood, the other blood does sound worrying but I have no experience with progesterone so can't advise.

Just had the 25 week midwife appointment, got my rubbish midwife again who doesn't talk basically, I mentioned my concerns and questions about movement n she didn't answer jus handed me a leaflet, didn't listen to the babies heartbeat either which was disappointing, I have a home doppler but I don't time the hb or anythin it's jus for fun and sanity so I was still hopin she'd listen! She measured my bump tho and it's jus above the 90th centile so lookin big so far, but all looks good!

klou hope ur ok, must be hard with ur DP dealing with things differently, it can make things feel a lot more loanly, but hope ur able to get some RL support

[Cakebaker35]

Hello all, can I join please? Just found out I'm pregnant again (approx 5 weeks) and I'm feeling so worried.

Bit of background - have dd 2.5 yrs, had mmc in March which happened somewhere between 5/6 weeks but didn't know until 10 wks, would have been twins. Opted for an erpc mid march. Found out I'm pregnant again this weekend, quite surprised but obviously pleased, but currently more terrified than anything.

Should I bother seeing gp yet? Does anyone know if I'd be offered an early scan? And any tips for relaxing as I think I might be going slightly bonkers?!

[amicablemoomin]

Congratulations cakebaker!

I think the early scan really depends on your area although you can always opt for a private reassurance scan. Always worth asking, and I think it is good to get 'on the books' soon as. Hopefully your GP will be sympathetic to your concerns and worries after MC.

[CallingAllEngels]

Congrats cakebaker

I echo hat moomin said. Best to get "on the books" early I think as well. This time I didn't wait to sign up to mw and they've given me an early scan at 8w due to my history (which is tonight!).

[fedupofrainydays]

cake hi!!!! Wow - congrats!! Glad it was quick til next bfp!
As moomin says, it totally depends on your gp and area but it's not normal to get an early scan after 'just one' mc unfortunately unless they thought it was ectopic and want to check location of new pregnancy. But you can get private ones and worth it about 8 wks.
No tips really from me as I'm a total loon (and still am) but do need to take each day at a time - today you are pregnant!!

And english hi - did you used to be abroad and had a name change? Congrats on bfp too and brown gunk can be normal

cuppa I have the coffee granules bit at the end of my period and sometimes the start so it's definately old blood being shed in my view.

[Cakebaker35]

Thank you all for the warm welcome, as you say probably sensible to get 'on the books' so I'll probably wait a week or so before I do that. I doubt I'll be offered an early scan but I know a good clinic locally which I might consider, pricey but I went there to get my mmc confirmed and they were so lovely.

fedup hello! So nice to 'see' you again! How're you doing? Hope all is well. How far along? Glad to hear you're still a fellow loon

And english same question - were you once englishgirlabroad? If so hello again!

[amicablemoomin]

cake the only thing that has worked for me in terms of reduction of loon-like behavior has been to set small goals (5 days till docs appointment etc) and focus on those, then within that time frame set myself non pc related stuff that I want to get done (most of it sadly boring). It hasn't stopped me obsessing but I least I have got a lot of my chores done and I guess it kind of distracts me for a small amount of time at least. I have found that social related distractions have actually been more stressful as a) quite a few of my friends are pg and b) those that aren't know that I love wine and coffee and it becomes a bit of a pain. I went to see the ballet at the cinema with one who in the interval went off and came back pleased as punch, with two glasses of wine which then led me to spend the whole of Act II wondering how I was going to get out of that!!

Calling good luck for tonight

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Thanks ladies! Yes I was EnglishGirlAbroad, but seeing as we are back in the uk I thought it was time for a change!!

[HopefulHamster]

Hi folks, just found the new thread. Hope everyone is doing okay and thinking of klou. Not knowing is the worst.

As for me, I've got my 20 week scan tomorrow and absolutely bricking it. So many people know that I'm pregnant now (though some people at work must just think I've been at the cakes!). I can't bear the thought of untelling them all. Plus I've spent a small fortune on mat clothes...

I am feeling movement now - but it's 'most' days and not every hour - usually just a bit in the middle of the day or a few kicks at night. Nothing predictable. Just so scared it could all go wrong still.

Need a fish slap!

[fedupofrainydays]

hamster you could be me. I think exactly the same stuff and have similar non patterned movement. Difference is my scan is on Friday.

Welcome home english!

cake I'm 19 wks now... Anomaly scan is on Friday so feeling nervous (again). I've had six scans so far so you would think I would be a bit more chilled but no such luck!

[Gwlondon]

Thank you for new thread squitiza.

Hi, ShergarAndSpies, EnglishGirlsReturned and cakebaker35

Congratulations tomcat79! So adorable!!!

Good luck kloulou and cuppachaplz.

I have nothing to add except I have trouble keeping up with the thread!