The berry copter thread for all your clenching and hand holding needs

[BlindKitty]

Small print: ideally pg with #1 and had ttc for >12months although let's face it, we ain't as fussy as we used to be, just as long as you're nice

5 second generation berry babies and LOADS more to follow

It's a good question merk. We are currently debating this. I would like to. DH Thinks we should wait until we know whether anything is wrong, as it will make it more difficult to detach once we know the gender. I don't know if we get that option. I also think he's underestimating how hard it will be for me to detach regardless. Anyway.

RP, I'm the same. I keep catching myself getting excited and then getting worried Im setting myself up for heart ache. My next scan can't come soon enough.

Urgh I really shouldn't have watched the miscarriage video on the side of the page. My mum is coming down to visit for the weekend and will be here any minute but all teary now

Win are you using FMC? Essentially the results come from America on a sheet of paper to your clinic. Depending on your clinic they can obviously give you the results verbally in any order you like. If you choose not to know the gender I think they copy the results to another sheet of paper without the gender on. With FMC I think you have to tell them you want the gender in advance of the bloods being taken...not sure as I didn't use them

Hearing you on the lardarse bit! I have to extra plan my outfit and try on the night before to see if I can get in it!! I'm quit lucky that at 12 weeks I'll be on summer holidays ( teacher berry) and easier to hide or be comfy in casual clothes, also means, all being well my 20 week one will be mid September, means I can hold off telling work if want to.

Oooh rp you are brave having a wander in mothercare. If we'd had never had these problems we'd have been straight in there but because of it I feel, like you, scared to, or 'presumptious'. I still haven't booked in yet, just not had any time in day to ring. Must, must, must next week!

When do you have to think about downs tests etc?

Bushy when you get your booking in appointment with your midwives (should be before 12 weeks) they will give you a leaflet about the combined screening that the NHS offers for trisomies (including downs). You need to decide before your 12 week scan if you want this test as, if so, they take measurements and blood at the 12 week scan. The equivalent of the leaflet is available on the NHS website so you can read/discuss in advance. Your options are basically NHS screening (which gives you a likelihood eg 1 in 500 or 1 in 10000), no screening, private screening (blood tests such as harmony can give a more accurate result). If you get a high likelihood on private tests or NHS screening you would the need to decide if you want more invasive tests (which carry a risk of miscarriage) to get a certain result.

I remember wandering the baby aisles feeling a total imposter... I think quite a few of us left off shopping until after 12 or 20 week scans!

I'm still being a bit slow - now 31wks and still lots to get. Lots of online shopping today - bought a crib and lots of hospital bag bits... not helped by having someone small but strong making very determined attempts to climb out of the upper part of my bump!

Oh and glad all is going well with Puplet, Puppy!

Eep got my 12w scan date in the post this morning!

21st July.... That's when we find out if this is really going to happen also bloods on the 20th so it's all going on that week.

Just got to get through awful 2w work trip on my own in strange city with no DH first. Why oh why did I say I would go???

Thanks merkin, a fab, informative answer. Dh asked me what I was googling ( trisomy) so explained and he said he'd like all the tests going so will say yes. The ones with blood test and measurements sound ok; it's the later tests that are the scary ones ( if they are needed).

It's ok rp, you're taking bubba on first holiday! But seriously know that it must be a bit of a worry. I expect you can't get out of it but perhaps just focus on the work aspect and in between rest and maybe do nice adult things e.g. Art gallery, cafe etc. 2 weeks is a long time!

Ooh on getting 12 week scan date! Really want to crack on and get booked in and get my date too. 6 weeks after my early scan is the 24th so you'll be before me I expect.

RP mothercare already you brave crazy girl! 26weeks here and we only ventured into mothercare 3weeks ago, so far we have only bought 'travel system' and 2 outfits, cuddly toy and that's it!

I'm steering clear of it bunny, kinda freaks me out!! Got terrible mouth ulcers under my tongue at mo and sore throat. I am prone to them anyway, normally get them after drinking! No chance of that now but do know they can be a pg thing.

Looked after nephews and nieces today. Let dh take the lead with stuff, was quite sweet seeing how he related to them and settled disputes and consoled injuries! Oldest nephew was a bit stroppy and dh was doing a really good job of bringing him round. Was tiring and makes you think ahhhh peace when they go... Sounds bad but kids can be really annoying and hard work!! Uh oh!!

Yay to scan date rp! I got mine in the post this week too - 17 July, which seems way too early - I'll only be 11 weeks then. Is that weird or normal, experienced berries? I might mention it at my first midwife appointment on Wednesday.

As for tests etc - my oh is really against doing the harmony for some reason. I need to work on him because I think it's important and I would like to do as many as possible. He just keeps saying "everything will be fine - just stop worrying."

rp two week work trip is a big'un! Are you going somewhere nice?? Also, very brave of you to venture I to mothercare. I'm not going near anywhere like that for a long while as I stupidly went the day before my ectopic was diagnosed last time and it took me ages to shake the memory of it.

bushy have you been to your gp to get the ball rolling on midwife and scan stuff?

Been getting myself in a tizz today due to the lack of nausea since yesterday. Spent most of the last 24 hours in or on my bed doing nothing but watching Glastonbury/films/crap telly, so hoping it's just because I've been horizontal and sleeping a lot. I need to stop freaking out!

Feather, I had a day or so of feeling completely normal at around 8 weeks. I got myself in a bit of a state, convinced myself it was all over. The nausea came back after a day or two, and is still going now. And we had the good scan at 9w1d. I think it was connected to a couple of nights of good sleep too.

Finally got my booking in appointment through yesterday, for the only day I absolutely can't do next week. Hoping I can rearrange.

May I remind you that I have had absolutely no nausea so please don't freak out.

Am ringing next week feather to get all that sorted. Can you have nhs ones first then the harmony one? Dh is probably right but it is awkward when you fundamentally disagree on something like that.

winooh so annoying when you get given dates you just can't do.

As far as I know bushy, you have two scans and a blood test as part of harmony. You have one scan st about 10 weeks (mines at 11) to check viability. You have the blood test on the same day. They send off the blood. Then you go back in 2 weeks for the more detailed scan and blood test results. I'm not sure of the latest you can have the harmony, but you should check as it may be too late after your nhs scan.

In theory harmony is only a blood test and can be done at any time. UK clinics make you have one or two scans to make money out of you; these are not taken into account in the harmony results.
You can have the harmony after the NHS. You need to consider, if you choose to have the harmony that the wait for results is 2 weeks. So if you have high risk NHS results and then have the harmony, it's another 2 weeks before you have results. You may then choose to have an invasive test after the harmony...meaning it can be 4 or 5 weeks from the NHS scan/bloods to getting a 'certain' result in that situation. Hence lots of people (especially if your NHS results are going to be affected by age) have the harmony first. I read on MN of somebody who had harmony and got a 1 in 10000 result for downs, then had NHS tests which gave her 1 in 80 or something. If she had done it the other way around and not had the harmony until after the NHS results she would have worried for 2 weeks waiting for harmony results based on the high NHS risk result. (Harmony only gives 2 results; 1 in 2 or 1 in 10000)

I had harmony bloods taken pre NHS but results came in afterwards btw

Thanks merkin. I've googled myself silly now so need to leave it. Ringing to book in Monday so will see what they tell us. Can I ask how much was your harmony? I think you are right that private clinics are trying to make money out of anxious women with extra scans etc. Have many other berries have had it or not?

Mine was about £600 I think, including one scan and free cvs if needed

Feather, I had days of throwing up multiple times followed by normal days... it seems fairly common.

I had harmony after a high risk (1/63) NHS result and waiting for the result was hellish! I think FMC do it for £400 at 10 weeks, £500 up to 13 and possibly £600 after that. Other non-invasive tests (eg Nifty) have similar accuracy but may be cheaper depending on what's available locally.

Hi all. Happy weekends?

Should be clear I'm not buying anything in Mothercare that would be presumptuous! I'm just idly looking. And pricing. Mat less will be a squeeze for us financially as I'm the main earner so I plan to start begging stuff off friends buying stuff after the 20w scan to spread the cost out.

Work trip is to Glasgow - have never been, know no one there, in city centre hotel so noisy, and 2 weeks! Boo. Also on austerity due to house renovations so can't really justify theatre trips, shopping etc. it should be awesome but if I'm honest I'm really dreading it, esp coping with the nausea on the trip and the worst nightmare of waking up in a hotel bed bleeding

rp you can't think like that!
Perhaps you could check out all the free things like art galleries etc and take box set/ I pad with you to watch things but yes, that's a long time but at least it's UK so if you do have any issues you know the system.

Lots of my friends have said people give you lots of stuff and you can get lots of stuff second hand so don't need to spend the earth. There's a lot if stuff people get conned into buying because they're new to parenthood and a bit insecure but lots of people say there are only a few things you actually doneed.

Nice w/e here but left school work a bit late and don't feel that well. Lots of mouth ulcers under tongue and sore throat-really red and angry at back. Took some paracetamol earlier when was feeling really shitty and felt a lot better. Was trying not to take anything, silly I know. Also would normally have strepsils but says to contact doctor before taking.. So little you can take when pg! Have bought some 'soothers' to suck. I am a little worried this might be tonsillitis as I am prone to it. Don't know what happens if you're pg, I take it antibiotics are off the table. Any tips?? Had a load of Ben and Jerry's with dh, that made me feel loads better when eating it but sore bit is back!! Not talking is also unworkable as teacher!! Gah! We also gave a parents thing after school so won't be able to be quiet then either! [sad ]

Bushy I think your immune system must take a battering during pg. I get these gawdawful cold sores about once a year - but have had TWO just since bfp!

I talked to my boss's boss today (he knows I am pg and about the threatened mc as he was there the night it started) and asked about cancelling the Glasgow trip. He said it was fine if that was what I wanted. Am going to talk to DH last night but frankly, I live in Plymouth and I could so do without the hour's train ride + bus ride + flights to Glasgow whilst in the grip of morning sickness, followed by 12 nights in a hotel room with no DH and no other company. If I pull out now, they can recoup a chunk of the money - otherwise they are spending nearly £2k for me to sit in Glasgow vomming and trying to work on a laptop. I may as well be doing that in the office loo!

bushy have you tried rinsing your mouth out with warm salty water? It's worked in the past for me - just be sure not to swallow any as it'll make you gag!

rp sounds like you've done the right thing. 12 days away at this stage in your pregnancy when it's not NEEDED is too long. Was your boss's boss cool about it?

Thanks for the harmony info jess and merk. Going to broach the subject with oh again this week. Had a long chat to my acupuncturist today about it and she had cvs - harmony didn't exist yet. She was trying for five years so when she finally got pregnant, at the age of 41, she wanted to do every test going. The question she posed to herself and her dh was: "would we rather know if we're having a downs baby or risk miscarrying from the cvs?" - cvs carries a risk of miscarriage, yes, but she said she asked to see Dr nicoledes himself at the FMC, and after much eye-rolling, he did it for her and all was well. I think, if I'm still pregnant by ten weeks, I'm going to bite the bullet and do the whole shebang - Harmony and then depending on results, cvs - obvs won't do that if I don't need to.

How is everyone doing? bunny what's going on? Where are the other berries? Hope us newbies haven't scared them off!

Yes überboss was great. He said, Oh, it's normal, you're nesting! I love academia, it is the only place you would get a middle aged male senior manager saying that to a junior female colleague.

I am planning on nuchal fold + bloods and then going for cvs on the NHS if there is a high risk factor.