Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

OLTT my 3 yr old very solemnly informed the MW at 16 week appt that "there's a house inside my mummy, where my little brother grows, or maybe it's a sister, 'cos no-one really knows" and she was a bit
You'd think it would be a set midwifery text!

I had my 36 week appt today and it wasn't my normal (lovely) MW so was in and out within about 3 minutes. Just as well I'm doing ok because she wasn't at all approachable. Surely it's part of the community MW remit to be chatty and nice?

klou it's horrible to be in limbo with nothing you can do to affect the outcome. Hope it all settles over the next few days for you.

I am sorry kluolou must be such a hard situation to be in. My miscarriages were both different. One I knew what was happening and the other was a missed miscarriage so I didn't know until the first scan. Big hug.

Sorry for my ignorance Gwlondon but what is a missed miscarriage?

Sorry Kloulou, so horrible when it's all so up in the air and you can't get any definitive answers. Are your symptoms still strong?

Today was epic, only just got home from 2.30 appointment. One strong heartbeat seen, the other is 'inconclusive' at this stage but the sac measures a week behind the other. She said that's not unusual with twins and we should see more in two weeks. Then the long wait to see someone to book me in for the suture and she said "well it's not looking good" and said in all likelihood my body would reabsorb the smaller one or I'd bleed and miscarry it (which of course petrified me). More waiting and seeing. It was mad, there were lots of couples yelling at staff and notes lost left right and centre. Not good. And only one consultant on.

amum I'm tired just thinking about your day - hope you are now able to rest and be looked after for the next couple of days. FX everything is ok.

gw thinking of you for scan tomorrow

klou I'm so sorry you are going through this. Everything crossed for you. It is the worst feeling. A missed miscarriage is when the baby dies but you don't bleed, so you tend to find out at a scan. I've had both types and they are both hideous. Thinking of you.

klou i have had both types too. I only find out my missed miscarriage at 12 week scan. You aren't ignorant. I'd never heard of it until I had one. I thought all miscarriages start with bleeding and that if I didn't bleed I'd be fine. But my missed miscarriage made me feel so angry with my body. I thought I was ok when I got to 12 weeks with a growing bump and hideous morning sickness. But no, my body just carried on thinking I was pregnant growing an empty sac. I have got my maternity clothes out by 12 weeks and worn it to my scan too. I felt so cheated. And then I had 3/4 months of fun afterwards counting calories, going to the gym 3 times to week to lose the pregnancy weight. And ofc all the time lost that I could have been ttc again if my body wasn't so stupid.

I felt much more angry then by first loss at 6+6.

I don't know if others who have had both felt differently about them. But I did. I can't imagine how devastated I would be if I have a lost at 20 weeks, or having a stillborn . (I think one of the poster here lost one at 20 weeks, can't remember who. It makes me cry just thinking of that).

By the way I'm not trivialising early losses. I was devastated when I miscarried at 7 weeks too.

Klou and gw hope you'll both get good news at your scans tomorrow.

amum sending my hugs to you too.

one I know exactly what you are saying about the anger. It came to me too once the shock passed, that took some time - I just couldn't believe it. I was much earlier than 12 weeks - that is so cruel, right when you are about to believe chances are all is ok. The other I had more time to 'get used to it' if that makes sense, but I found it very scary, the whole situation was frightening. Partly because I wasn't used to all the blood, partly for being in a hospital and also because no one can tell you exactly what was happening.

Klou and amum thinking of you tonight and hoping that you get some clear positive news tomorrow.

Yeah a mmc is a lot harder to handle for me too. Its like nature has tricked you, you never trust your body again. Mine came back as a partial molar, I felt like a freak of nature too. :( Whereas with my 'normal' losses it was very painful and sad, but it was clearly what it was. No trucks, no confusion, I was almost glad if the pain/blood was something giving a horrible closure... Not sitting still feeling pregnant and waiting for an op.

klou and gw best wishes for today.

amum sounds dreadful! wishing you a peaceful day today! and hoping things settle

Having a bad day here, so sorry for moaning in advance. No bleeding or cramps, which I know I should be happy about, but terrified of another MMC, and the nightmares have started... In addition constant vomiting is continuing, so when I wake up sweaty and crying, I have to run off and vomit. I can't get back to sleep, and don't really want to if I am going to dream of more blood and horrors.

DH thinks I should see doc about vomiting. He says my lips are cracked, I look dehydrated and have lost weight. However with history of RMC, I font want them to think I'm neurotic ( which of course I am). Perversely, I'm taking vomiting as a good sign as I've never had any MS before, but I know it's probably just the progesterone.

Sorry everyone to rant and moan so early in the day. Pleas someone slap me.
Holding out for the next scan next week...

Wishing you all a good day

hiya cuppa - you poor thing, how horrible for you. the nightmares are really frightening aren't they, and I find they pervade your whole day somehow, not like a normal dream where you forget it soon as you wake up. Nothing wrong with a bit neurotic! If you are feeling dreadful it might be worth seeing the doc - if nothing else sometimes hearing reassurance from a medical person can be reassuring. No fish slaps! Hug though!

Cuppachaplz please go to your GP and get some help for the vomiting. My nurse at the EPU said if my nausea gets worse I must go to my GP asap to get help straight away rather than leave it to get bad. They're there to help and won't think your being a hypochondriac and even if they do, so what? You and your baby are more important than a strangers opinion of you. In my first pregnancy I was at my surgery more than my GP! My Mum was so sick with my sister she had to go on a drip because things had got so bad and you need to keep your energy levels up to grow a baby.
Trust me I understand about the nightmares. I get them all the time and they're horrific, but they would be because they're playing out my past experiences. I've been told to do breathing exercises before bed but it hasn't helped me. I'm hoping that as things progress my brain might start believing a happy outcome is a reality and ease off on the nightmares.
I do think though that if you have more energy and feel better than they might not be quite so intense. Feeling horrific is only going to make your mental state worse. Really hope they ease off and your doctor can give you something to keep things down.

Morning everyone, I have woken this morning to excruciating stomach cramps and a lot more blood. I have no clue what to do?? I just want to hide away and pretend nothing is happening
Reading what you wrote about mmcs squizita , amicable and Onelittle is just awful. Why do our body's have to be so cruel??
cuppa you def need to go see your Gp. You could end up in hospital and you and your baby won't be getting all your correct nutrients.
Anxiety is an awful thing, the best way to try and resolve it is to talk about it. Do you have someone you can confide in? I think what goes on in our heads can sometimes be more painful than any physical symptoms. It's not just our bodies that can be cruel our minds too.
I'm coming back as a cat in my next life!!!

Kloulou have you got an EPU number you can call? Last time I called them directly to be ready for me when I got in rather than have to go through sitting in A&E for ages. I wish I could stop the bleeding and take the pain away. It's so frightening. Lots of good luck coming your way and I hope the bleeding and pain stops asap.

Oh klou, how awful for you. Huge hugs.
Ring EPU, they usually have a 24 h line gor people they have seen before. If you don't have it, ring your doc or MW and ask them to do this for you.
Hugs for today, wishing you feeling better soon x

cuppa I think you should contact your GP too. It sounds like you are having it really tough. Vomitting so much you are actually dehydrated. That isn't right. Definitely no fish slap from me either.

klou you poor thing. Have you got a midwife assigned to you yet? If not, can you get an urgent appointment with the GP. Re EPU access, it's different for different NHS trust. Some here can get refered to EPU easily. Mine is really hard to get to and I found out it's because I'm in a very high birth area. About when you need medical help. I was told if the bleeding is like a heavy period, I should just use maternity pads and rest. They won't do anything unless I've bleed heavily for two weeks. (Because apparently if I've passed all the pregnancy material I'd stop bleeding). I did have one MC that my bleeding is so heavy I couldn't leave the toilet. You'll know when it's really wrong. The blood clots coming out was like the size of fishes (it could be in my mind, but it's horrible). I have blood soaked trousers when I got to A&E because nothing can contain the blood lost. Sorry for the really graphic description. Just want to let you have an idea when you must go seek medical help.

Hiya klou if you can't get through to EPU/doc do go to A&E (although like the other ladies say - last resort), don't be alone. hugs.

Thank you for your kind messages.

I live in north wales and as far as I'm aware there is no epu unit here? When I went to the out of hrs on Sunday they just referred me to gyne, where I had the scan on Monday. The bleeding has now gone back to how it's been over the past few days, like a light period, no clots. The pain is bad though and I feel poorly. When I had a ms in sept I remember lots of blood and clots one, it was barbaric.
I feel like I'm being tortured, it's impossible to get hold of anyone round here, if it is an ms I just want to get on with it so I can move on. I dunno whether to go to the drs ASAP (although I know I won't get in today!) and ask for another scan or wait a few more days. The midwife I saw yesterday was very vague.... I guess no one can commit themselves because nobody knows how these things will turn out do they. I'm driving myself round the bend!!

Can you get to A&E Klou? I should think the docs will just send you there if there is no EPU. Do you have any number for the gyne department you were at on Monday, or can you find a number for them online and speak to them? I'd definitely try and make contact with someone. That's good the bleeding has reduced but I do think you need to alert someone to the pain and you not feeling well. I know trying to cut through the red tape is sometimes quite traumatic in itself. Or call the NHS helpline - they might be able to give you guidance on your area? Is someone with you to look after you?

klou the GP surgery is supposed to hold some urgent appointments which they give out on the day. It doesn't hurt to give them a call?

And I think amicable suggestion of the gyne department is good too.

Klou, start with your GP. As Onelittle has said, they will see you. I had a migraine in my last pregnancy, rang the GP mid-afternoon and was seen at the end of the booked appointments; this is WAY more serious and they will make time for you. If they can't, or think you need to go to gynae/EPU or whatever is the appropriate service near you, they will call ahead for you so they expect you.
You could call 111 as an alternative, they will also refer if needed. When I MCd 111 said to try and manage at home, and that unless I was soaking a big pad in less than 30m or something I should stay home. However, I ended up seeing both a GP and OOH that week as I was in such a state, it would have been better to be seen right away.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you have DP or a friend there to hold your hand.

Thank you everyone for your support.
I rang the drs in the end, to be told by the receptionist there were absolutely no appointments. I explained I just wanted to speak to someone, explained through tears what's happening and she went and got a dr thankfully! He wanted me to go in and get checked over because of feeling unwell so have been down and got checked out. BP and everything is ok but he rang gyne and booked another scan for tomorrow morning. Feel like I'm in Groundhog Day!
Thank you once again everyone for your kind words x

klou I'm glad you got checked out and a scan booked for tomorrow. Just remember to take it a day at a time. We've all been there before and we all remember how hard the early days are.

so glad you are ok Klou and you are getting care.