Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Well I've booked in my first appointment with the midwife on the 28th it's flipping awkward though as it's first thing in the morning so I'll have to lie to work about something and go in late, god knows what I'll say, any ideas?

I've also booked my private scan for the 4th if June, think I'll be 9+2 then so past the point I lost the baby last time. So that's two dates in the diary to work towards. Anyone else got scans coming up? 3 weeks seems aaaaaages away.

amum - not nice at all - jealousy perhaps? or just completely not engaged brain to fingers? There is 100% a place for hope. We all wouldn't be here otherwise! I don't think any of us are unrealistic about the risks and possibilities but there is no reason why we cannot have the happy outcome that so many of our friends and families have already . I wonder if she is just really misplaced in terms of her concern for you? Things do come across funny sometimes in email...might be worth a chat with her verbally to get the real understanding of where she is coming from?

tea, I have my first MW on the 29th! Very nervous but pleased to have a goal. I just tell work 'nurses visit' - I used to have them for my contraception (obviously didn't give work the details of this!) so it doesn't seem to odd. Or just say docs appointment.

Thanks for the thoughts guys. :) DH is somewhat recovered from the shock and has given me a lecture on taking it easy! Things settled this afternoon somewhat when my young horse arrived from the stud in North Wales where he was being backed (I'm in South Wales) and he walked calmly off the box like an absolute pro, went into his stable and wasn't silly. DH likes horses again!

Amum - that's dreadful, but what my doctor said this morning, is that after 3 MC's, it doesn't matter if you have 6, 9 or 12 MC's, the chance of a successful pg if "nothing is found" to be causing the MC's is still 60%. Like penguin says, don't let the negative comments get inside your head.

TeaRex-I have a consultants appointment next Monday, when I should be 8+2 - and after today's shenanigans, it seems like a lifetime away!

There are no words that can make up for a 'supportive' email like that, amum. we too have all been through pregnancy loss, which is admittedly far from a uniform experience, yet all do our utmost to jolly each other along. What I want to say is her and her negativity, but I guess it must be coming from a place of deep deep hurt. Perhaps suggest some counselling (if that doesn't sound too passive aggressive).

Amun. That's crap, hopefully it's misguided attempted short and not cattiness!
I did get a 'I'm not mad at you for getting regnant, as I know you had a mc' from an utter bitch with fertility issues (same woman who held 8 rounds of ivf & a stillbirn against another woman).

Have had some bleeding and cramping, went to docs this morning and waiting on EPU (no self referral), everything has calmed down so fingers crossed

Hope everyone has better weather than we're having!

amum that's dreadful. I would be wanting to give them a kick in the guts, as that is (as you say) what they have done to you. Try to keep positive and ignore. Wishing things better for you.

quiet hope you're feeling better now! and checkup went ok. For what it's worry, I worked on farms when gp with ds, and had a cow back out of the crush and horse kick me into a gate, went to my 22 weeks scan with 2 perfect hoof prints on my lower abdomen. Baby was absolutely fine, fluids doing their job :) hope you feel better soon.

I spoke too soon about nausea settling, and have spent the whole day rushing out of the room at work to vom... Wondering who is going to believe a stomach bug can last this long...
Poorly 11 yo demanding cuddles, so at least a relaxing evening is in order. Keep well everyone x

drfunk, best wishes for scan and EPU, hope things settle and stick x

Quiet It's actually the chance of each pregnancy if nothing is found, rather than overall (and most of the big-names put it officially at 70% depending on age and general health). :)

Fingers crossed boba, surprised to hear that the weird email phenomenon is commoner than I'd imagined. The idea that someone 'deserves' a successful pregnancy more or less than someone else unsettles me... the antithesis to this being that some people 'deserve' a bad time. Pregnancy is such an emotive subject.

Hello everyone. Gosh - I'm sorry that I'm so behind I can't really keep track of who's where.

Hoping all the 'new arrivals' are coping with the early 1st trimester anxiety. Great that all PGs are progressing nicely. So nice to see all the new faces with the Dec/Jan birth dates!

alb - I'm nearly 15 weeks and have definitely not entered any blooming phase at all yet. I did have it with my two DCS, so I wonder if it's my age as well (I'm 39 now) as my DC2 was born over 6 years ago. I just feel so tired all the time, and have been hit with every bug that's going. So you're not unusual as far as I'm concerned!

amum if she knows your history then even more reason not to send a message like that. Have you replied? Are you going to? Or are you just going to leave it?

corpore was it you saying you've been having wobbles as your scan was a while back now? I can't remember - except I know we're due around the same time. I'm 14+4 and it's been 3 weeks since my scan. I've no reason to worry but it's such a long gap between seeing them again. I do have a doctor's appt in 10 days so I guess they'll listen to the heartbeat then...? How are you feeling anyway. How big is your bump? Interested to compare with someone at a similar stage. I'm definitely finding it very hard to hide now...

TeaRex great you have a date to work towards! Now you have to distract yourself with lots of activities to stop the time dragging by. 3 weeks seems far away but it'll come 'round quickly - especially if you can do something that doesn't involve ticking of each day as the date approaches! I really tried to 'forget' about the scan dates so that I wouldn't notice the days getting closer - but almost impossible I know!

cuppa vomiting horrible poor you - but at least a comfort in some ways, no? I always was perversely happy when the nausea returned after an absence. It felt like it was affirming the pregnancy was still in place.

penguin13 my symptoms would disappear for days on end in the 1st trimester. There was almost a whole week around the 9 week mark where I hardly felt pregnant at all.

Everyone else - wishing you well!

quiettiger that sounds very scary. Glad to hear you are ok and it's more of a shock then anything.

amum I'm sure your friend is just trying to be helpful. Or maybe she is going through a really dark phase. Just ignore and ofc you know there is hope.

tearex I have been taking annual leaves for all the antenatal appointments. Probably not helpful but I found that easier especially since I didn't tell my manager till 16/17 weeks. I do have a job that's easy to take annual leave. I even booked a morning off for the GTT at 26 weeks. I know I'm entitled to time off antenatal appointments but tbh I'd rather not rush back to the office and just have relaxing half day. I have very few antenatal appointments though. Is everyone the same? I had booking in at 8 weeks, 12 week scan, 16 week midwife, 20 week scan, 26 weeks GTT, then 28 week midwife again. It's almost once every 4 weeks isn't it?

And I'm another one who is not blooming in her second semester. I'm 21 week, and feel really tired. mabel I'm 39 too so maybe it's an age thing? I felt asleep during the relaxation in yoga tonight. And I used to love it in body balance. Never have a problem staying awake for it.

I got 3yo DD this to try to explain pregnancy to her
www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-House-Inside-My-Mummy/dp/1408315882

After we finished it tonight, she thought it was very funny and told me baby in my tummy. I told her no it's in mummy's tummy. To which she replied no mummy, it's in my tummy. I don't think she got it at all

dr funk/bona best of luck with epu today. hope all has continued to settle.

all those in the terrible waiting game, just keep focussing on non-pregnancy related milestones.

I am 36+1 today and can't believe how quickly it seems to have gone, despite the first 2/ weeks dragging like years. the bump dropped really noticeably overnight on Sunday and I really hope it isn't a sign if impending arrival. I am not ready for him yet! 2 more weeks at work seems like an age!

pgchimp I felt exactly the same at 36 weeks, not ready for baby to arrive at all! Now at 38 weeks and having had a few days of maternity leave I feel much more prepared. Finishing work makes a big difference, half of the things you are stressing about suddenly disappear and you can focus on baby.

I'm on Operation Lasagne today. I have enough ingredients to make 20 portions for the freezer, although I just realised my pans are probably not big enough!

Good luck to those going to the EPU today

I had loads of movement (like LOADS and quite pronounced) yesterday evening (only 22 weeks so no pattern) and hardly anything today. Worried now bean was 'in distress'. Fish slap anyone?

A bash about your chops with a little sardine squiz baby's just waiting till you really worry then will give you a nice big kick :)

Just for a bit of light relief this morning thought I'd share this. I was thinking it's never too early to start your kegels right? er I mean continue them because I definitely do them already. Ahem I am not very good at remembering so thought I would try out an app, which is how I came across 'Kegel Kat'. I may be childish but it made me laugh and frankly how can you argue with a kegel app which includes a 'dance-dance' mode? I don't know how to post a neat link from my phone but yeah, Google it. There literally is an app for everything!

Hello there! I'm new to mums net, have had a nosy before but today I decided to sign up and join in. ??
I'm a mummy to 2 beautiful girls, age 6 and 4.
We've been trying for a third for the past year or so (3 has always been the number for me) and I fell pregnant in September. I miscarried at 5 weeks.
3 weeks ago we found out I was preg again. Few symptoms seemed to show quite quickly... Sore boobs, belly blew out, hormones raging (happy to moody in 10secs flat!) Only thing I was worried about was a constant dull ache I was feeling, like period pain. Got tested for uti and that came back clear. All seemed to be ok until Sunday just gone. I went to the loo that morning and saw blood. Cramps were getting worse too. Went up to the out of hrs who booked me in for a scan yesterday. Meanwhile the bleeding and pain was getting worse, more like a proper period with occasional small clots. Had the scan yesterday (transvaginal) and they saw a teeny heartbeat. I'm not as far along as initially thought which was 7wks am only 5+2.
Basically I have no clue how to feel at the moment. They've said there's nothing they can do, all I can do is rest and hope for the best. Obv having 2 young girls and a husband who works f/t resting is quite difficult. He's acting as if everything is ok but I can't do that as I'm the one seeing the blood every time I go to the loo and am feeling the pain. I feel in such turmoil and am feeling pretty lonely, which is why I hoped you ladies might be able to help ?? Sorry for such a long message and thank you for reading x

Hi all, so busy here. Klou, welcome, is there any planned follow-up prior to booking? Good that no more bleeding and a heart seen, but I think we all understand the limbo that early pregnancy and bleeds puts you in. Try and keep yourself distracted (I have been largely housebound for a week or two due to a leg injury, and have found the kindle and tv the only things that help really), get the girls to help wherever they can, and stuff the housework a bit for now.
Mabel, strangely I felt quite unworried in the immediate aftermath of the fall, possibly as the HCPs were only concerned about the damaged limb, possibly due to all the adrenaline rushing about; have had a couple of wobbles since. Am seeing MW tomorrow, again she wasn't worried about me when I called her but I would like to see if I can persuade her to listen for the baby's heart beat tomorrow. The 'bump' is up to about 1/2 way between my pelvis and my belly button, but at the moment I just look fatter than usual; I think that it is obvious that I am not myself, but then I also have a whacking great boot on my bad foot and a pair of crutches, so to the uninformed it looks like I've been eating rubbish since I fell down the stairs (actually being away from work has largely kept me off the chips and on more fruit).
Am trialling myself for a day at the office (unofficially), so far am shattered and perhaps it is too much too soon. Have been internally debating how best to get lunch (food again), stupidly didn't pack one which would have saved a lot of bother. DH is at home working so might call him and ask if he can bring me something.

Thanks for your reply corpore
Unfortunately the bleeding and pain is still going strong. It ranges from brown to red and sometimes has small clots. The pain ranges from dull ache to actually being able to feel my womb contract! I am seeing the midwife later today. Hoping she will help me feel better about all this. It's awful worrying isn't it.
Sorry to hear about your fall! I was housebound at the start of the year with a slipped disc. So boring! I've only been back in work a couple of weeks and now all this is happening. Nothing's ever easy!

klou sorry for what you're going through, hope the midwife is able to reassure you later. mine was a mmc so not experienced what you're going through but fx it's all okay, let us know how you get on

Kloulou how worrying for you, sorry you're going through that. It's positive that you've seen the heartbeat but I can only imagine how worried you must be feeling at the moment. Good luck at your midwife appointment today, I hope she is able to reassure you.

klou fingers crossed that it's just a bit of bleeding and nothing serious for you. We all know how worry it is.

squiz of course you need fish slaps. You are only 22 weeks! The consultant told me not to worry until 28 weeks.

klou welcome, and sorry your having such a worrying time, hopefully the midwife will be able to give you some reassurance.

amum what a horrible thing to have said to you! I hope it just came across in the wrong way and they didn't mean it as thoughtless as it came across.

quiet that sounds quite scary, glad your ok!

Kloulou Hoping all is well. FX for you.

Hello again, thank you for the support.
Well I've seen the midwife, it was my booking in app as going from my lmp I'm 7wks but as the scan showed I'm only 5 she was a bit concerned that it's early but she said it was up to me if I wanted to continue with the booking in or not. I carried on only because it's a trek to get there just to go all the way home again! Don't really feel any better, she suggested I get myself referred to gynie again if the bleeding doesn't stop over the next couple of days. She did mention the possibility that it could have been twins and that I could have lost one but unfortunately these things are completely out of our hands and again we just have to hope for the best. My head is all over the place and I just want everything to be ok! I'm scared to be positive and just wish I could know for sure what's going on one way or another.