what's the stupidest preggo related thing anyone has ever said to you?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

When i was pregnant with ds about 3 years ago my brother's boyfriend asked me 'is it true that the cord can get wrapped around the neck and strangle the baby?'

I nearly threw up at the thought of it.

I haven't seen a 'tactless shit people come out with' thread in a while.

Please share!!

when i had my 20 week scan - and wanted to know the sex, found out we were having a little boy and that he was happy and healthy. text the MIL and her response was 'are you happy', he is healthy regardless of sex YES we are happy!!!!WTF
putting in perspective she has 4 boys and 3 grandsons and now another grandson, so desperately wanted a girl in the family, but still.....

"Do you know what you're having?" ...... "hopefully a human baby".
"But do you know the sex?"

MIGHT DO. AND IF I DO IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

And the other thing that drove me mad with firstborn, who was ten days late were people either phoning up to ask "Haven't you had it yet?" or neighbours who would see me waddle up to my front door and ask the same question: "yes, I had it two weeks ago, but thought I would stuff a cushion up my jumper because I miss the sensation of not being able to walk comfortably or to see my feet"

The phone thing really did upset me (hormones took over) as I was made to feel that it was somehow my fault that the baby was late, so I changed the greeting to "If you are phoning to see if the baby has arrived... it hasn't. If you are phoning about anything else please leave a message after the phone". I then stopped answering the phone and was amazed at the number of clicks that were recorded as people put the phone down.

And then the questioning that comes very soon after birth of firstborn...

"When are you having another?" - "It is absolutely none of your business but as soon as we start trying I'll let you know"

Having gone through fertility treatment I would never, ever, ever presume to ask such personal questions of any woman.

And don't get me started on the competitive pain-relief related questions .....................

This is a very personal one but from people who should know better. "Ah that's nice, you'll share your birthday with your baby"

No I won't!!! I do not carry babies to term and it will probably be born two months before my birthday! (Reality was 3 months) I'm not being a pessimist, I am being a realist baby #5 you would think think you would get the hint by now.

Are you going to tit feed it? My brother in front of his then new gf. They didn't last long.

My husband got so fed up of people asking when we were going to have another child (DD is now 10 and I'm pregnant with #2) that he started telling people it was rude to ask because they didn't know if we'd been trying for years or not (truth was, we really weren't ready for another when everyone else was- not by a long shot). I wouldn't have been brave enough to do that but some people's comments were horrendous. I had one friend who openly said I was selfish for only having one and another who implied that my daughter would be a spoilt brat because she didn't have to share her stuff (actually my daughter is really lovely). Why are people so rude?!

Lots of "was it planned?" from colleagues. One went a step further and asked "was it an accident?" (Somehow more offensive). I was so pissed off by that point at the question I snapped back "yeah - I just slipped and fell on it". She was v sheepish.

Also was second pg after a mc at 12 weeks. My bro "at least you've got a real one now". Like the 3 months of pregnancy the previous time had been all in my head.

Face palm on both counts

I have a DS and a DD, and am now expecting DC3. I've been surprised how many people have asked "Why have another one? You already have one of each!"
erm, because I want 3 children?!

Also, when talking about my planned ELCS with DD (following long labour and EMCS with DS), an aquaintance proclaimed me to be "too posh to push". I responded "No, actually, more like too traumatised by the last time to risk it again" and turned to walk away. She then called after me "Should have used better protection then!" Knowing full well that I'd been ttc and had a mc the year before

Any news??

ew edward that acquaintance is a COW

Oh a friend who after a miscarriage started trekking me about his friend's abortion and asking if it was like that!

telling!

Since joining Mumsnet I go into panic mode when someone I don't know very well announces they're pregnant, there's so much potential for causing offence.

It's really not that difficult, Nora.

I announced my pregnancy at work in front of a bunch of colleagues. The office dick said 'Was it planned?'. I said 'Why?' and he repeated the question. I just said 'Why?' and 'Why do you need to know?' then everyone else joined in to slag him off for asking. He affected not to know why we were all irritated with him. In the end I said 'What earthly difference does it make to you?' and he couldn't answer.

I also got endless warnings to 'take care' followed by people spelling out all the extra risks for older mothers. Yup, thanks, you have now pissed all over my chips, could you stop now?

How's your discharge dear? (from my mother)

Funniest thing was text from DHs best friend. I'd told him that everyone thinks its ok to touch your bump, and then we sent a text after 20 week scan to tell him it's a boy. His reply: next time someone touches your "public property" you can tell them that they're touching a small boy.

Brodicea yes she is! This was only a small thing in a long list of horrid things she came out with (not all pg related) thankfully I no longer have to put up with her as she's moved a loooong way away!

confuddled what a horrible comparison to make

Actually what I find annoying is that people I barely know (and often strangers, too) feel they have to ask questions at all. I get they probably think they're being nice and polite, but actually, asking me very personal questions about my family and my health is not being "polite", imo.

And I won't even get into comments about my size, or the shape of the bump - why is it that when you're pregnant, people feel it's ok to comment on your body in front of you?!

redexpat that response is genius, I always felt really uncomfortable when people asked to touch my bump, might try that out this time.

Stupidest question was from literally everyone who came into my room while I was on the recovery ward and baby was in NICU "erm, (looking around nervously) where's your baby?"

Nearly resorted to responding 'Oh shit, you mean he's gone?!"

My first pregnancy was ectopic. For some reason I let my mum come to one of my many hospital appointments. While I was behind the curtain stripping off from the bottom down I heard her ask the doctor, in front of DH, a nurse and well - me, "are you sure it's not a phantom pregnancy"?.

In the end she got thrown out of the room because she tried to look at my notes when she thought they weren't looking. She denies all this happened.

When I was about 7 weeks into my third pregnancy I was chatting to my mum and said:-
"do you think I'll need a double pram due to the age gap".
Mum - tinkling laugh "well, I think you'd better find out if you are or not yet, ha ha!".

Me - "Are what"?
Mum - "Pregnant!!"
Me -

Due to my history I'd already had 2 hcg blood tests and had 2 hospital scans, and pissed on a million sticks at home. I was absolutely livid and I can feel my heart racing just thinking about it again. I lost that baby at 11 weeks.

I''ve got a funny feeling I'm pregnant again. I'm not telling a soul.

"And don't get me started on the competitive pain-relief related questions"

Here's a weird one ... wasn't even pregnant but had just got the all clear to TTC after RMC and Molar pregnancy blood tests.
A lecture on how epidurals were unnatural and pethadene affected bonding.

From a man. With no kids. Not to my knowledge a scientologist. WEIRD.

I haven't read every post so apologies if someone's already said this but I personally think a lot of people ask the "was it planned?" question because they feel it would be hugely insensitive to offer congratulations when it might actually be the worst thing that has ever happened to the woman as she sees it herself. I haven't known many women who have been pregnant, my friends all seem to be leaving it late and those who I have known have been very close to me and thus I've either known them well enough to know it was planned or else it was perfectly ok to ask. But if it was someone I didn't know, I feel it'd be presumptuous to jump in with the "oh how wonderful" stuff when to them, it might not be at all. It's hard because you don't know how to react appropriately until you know what the person's own feelings about the pregnancy are.

And just to add to my last post, why do people think this means the person asking wants to know everything about your sex life?! It means nothing of the sort. They just want to hear a "yes, so we're absolutely delighted" so they can be delighted for you too or a "no, so it's not ideal" so that you can (hopefully) react in a sympathetic appropriate way. They're not sitting wondering about your husband's penis size and what position conception took place in whoever said that!!

I had to tell work I was pregnant twice in quite a short period of time because I lost my first pregnancy then fell pregnant again a few weeks later.

Colleague, who has four children of her own, asked me if I was sure I had mc and if it wasn't just the same one.

Quite apart from the fact that she was essentially asking me if midwives and scans etc had a 20 week margin of error on dating, I only let work know the second time at 24 weeks, so I would have been 44 weeks pregnant, and I wasn't yet showing. And as I had a second trimester miscarriage and held my baby, I am more than certain of there having been two babies, thank you.

My mother told me it was silly to get upset about losing the baby as there was probably something wrong with her and so it was a blessing.

"Stupidest question was from literally everyone who came into my room while I was on the recovery ward and baby was in NICU "erm, (looking around nervously) where's your baby?"

How is this stupid?! It seems like a really normal thing to ask if you don't know where the baby is???!! How else are you supposed to obtain that information?

omg IdaClair

several people also told me I shouldn't be upset about miscarrying since it probably meant the baby was not viable anyway. I know they were just trying to help. I know that. Still wanted to yell at them.

that being said I think thisyearwillbeawesome is right, people don't mean to be rude or insensitive, they're just trying to get their cue from you so they know what attitude to adopt and what to say. But that's the thing about being insensitive, you rarely mean to be...

I think to anyone who wants to avoid the "was it planned?" question - just try indicating that you're happy about it when you announce you're pregnant. Just a simple - "I'm pregnant and we're both absolutely delighted" is all the information you need to give for people to feel they can offer congratulations without fear of upsetting anyone. Anyone who then asks "was it planned?" can be legitimately classed as a twat!

When I was expecting my first child went to GP for check up . naturally nervous , so asked him [ex Army Doctor by the way] some questions he replied then added , there"s nothing to having a baby . A friend later remarked wonder how many he has had ?
Needless to say I changed GP to a very much nicer one .