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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

what's the stupidest preggo related thing anyone has ever said to you?

210 replies

ithoughtofitfirst · 06/04/2014 21:01

When i was pregnant with ds about 3 years ago my brother's boyfriend asked me 'is it true that the cord can get wrapped around the neck and strangle the baby?'

I nearly threw up at the thought of it.

I haven't seen a 'tactless shit people come out with' thread in a while.

Please share!!

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whiteblossom · 07/04/2014 08:58

I Hate the dreaded "was it planned" its like asking if your sex life is so fab you got carried away in the heat of the moment and if we had to have a 'chat' about the pg.

I'd love some standard responces to that one. (apart from fuck off) I really want to avoid answering that question this time round.

Original poster
ithoughtofitfirst · 07/04/2014 09:14

I know whiteblossom i've already had that question twice. The same people who asked the same question last pregnancy. Followed by 'how many months did it take?'. Do you want to know what position we were in? The length of my husband's penis?

OP posts:
GroupieGirl · 07/04/2014 09:25

I had a lot of "was it planned" (I was very very single, and it was very very unplanned); "Good God, you're huge" (I was. So was the baby); and an awful lot of well-meaning but quite irritating "I don't know HOW you can cope?" (Single, working, student...Well, mostly I just do cope. Sometimes I don't).

But my absolute favourite was the customer who came out with, "Do you even know who the father is?" To be fair, I got the distinct impression he didn't realise that those were the words that were going to come out of his mouth!

(I did know).

ch1a · 07/04/2014 09:34

In the bear factory (yes, I know) lady points at my DS and then my stomach and says "is that your second?" I smile and say yes. She then suggests "it's a girl". No, I say, its a boy. She pulls a face and says "oh". "Do you like boys?".

Twat.

ch1a · 07/04/2014 09:36

I feel like my experience was insensitive but some of these are just so much worse. Sorry to everyone who has put up with such idiotic comments about such difficult situations.

goofygoober · 07/04/2014 09:40

Forgot to mention - former boss when I told him the scan showed twins (I was ecstatic) 'oh well, nothing you can do about that'. Shock

Really sorry to read about the hard times people have gone through, and the hurtful remarks they've endured Thanks

kirbygrip · 07/04/2014 09:42

I was having extra scans as part of routine monitoring for a pre existing medical condition. FIL told me someone knew had extra scans because they had had a still birth. Went into great detail about stillbirth. I was seven months pregnant and after we left his house I cried for about two days. DH blamed me for the whole thing Hmm

Told everyone I would be having a repeat cs at 39 weeks with DC2. Lost count of the number of people who responded with 'well you don't know that. The baby could be late' or 'well unless it comes of it's own accord'. There was no way I would have been allowed to give birth naturally. I did know that I would be having an elcs. I wasn't making it up ffs.

Sweetpea86 · 07/04/2014 09:44

Found out I was having a boy and one of the managers at work, creepily said your walking around with a penis inside you! WTF!

And the usual was it planned

kirbygrip · 07/04/2014 09:48

And was it planned/are you happy/you can't possibly have planned it.

I was 28, married, graduate, employed, homeowner worn dc1. Yes I planned it.

HypodeemicNerdle · 07/04/2014 09:51

I had strangers stopping me in the supermarket with DC2 insisting I must be about to give birth when I was nowhere near due then telling me I must be having triplets as I was so huge.

My bump was huge, and uncomfortable which made me cranky! I was only gestating the 1 baby but even I began to wonder if there was a second hiding away in there as I'd had so many comments. Turned out just to be a big baby.

When I went into hospital to have him (last minute planned CS) I had an abnormal number of midwives coming in to check up on me before I went down to theatre. Turns out they were having a guess the weight of the baby competition! I did think that was pretty funny though!

Cookiepants · 07/04/2014 09:53

Not as bad as some on here but; "it's not an illness you know" while I had my head down the loo - for the 10th time that day- at 38 weeks Confused

It may not be an illness but 40 odd weeks of constant vomiting (5-10) times a day sure felt like it to me.

Kakaka · 07/04/2014 10:00

"Your DH had an ENORMOUS head as a baby."

FFS. Who says that to a pregnant woman?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 07/04/2014 10:02

Someone telling me a story how someone they know has just lost their baby at five months pregnant.

I'm five months. Why would you do that? Why?

Oh and the usual 'I bet you're hoping for a girl'. I already have a DS and clearly to everyone I know I now have to produce a girl or I've failed.

qazxc · 07/04/2014 10:03

I got a "was it planned then?" from the nurse when i was hospitalised having a miscarriage. When I said yes, she replied "oh that's a shame then." . As if it would have been no big deal if it had been unplanned!

I am now pregnant after years of trying and recurrent miscarriages and am already been asked as to when i am having "the next one"/"going to try for a boy". When I say I'm not, I get told "oh, you'll get caught out"/ "you just say that now"/ "but that will be the end of your DP family name if you don't have a boy!".

SIL was very put out that we asked at scan what we were having. When DP rang her to tell her we were having a girl, she was "well I already told you that!". He tried to say there was a difference between her having a dream about it and a scan result. She was very put out we "didn't trust her".

qazxc · 07/04/2014 10:06

Oh and I got the whole : "Women in the old days used to squat and give birth at the side of the field and then carry on working" as proof that pregnancy and childbirth are clearly a breeze. Hmm

Armadale · 07/04/2014 10:28

A family member when finding out our son had died 5 months into the PG said, 'oh well, you'll just have a nice sleep and when you wake up it will all be over'. When we pointed out that they don't do an ERPC that late, you have to give birth to the baby, said 'well, at least you will be all stretched out ready when a proper baby comes along'.

I am 22 weeks pregnant now and we haven't told a single soul as we just can't deal with shit comments like that as well as our own anxiety.

AlpacaYourThings · 07/04/2014 10:31

Armadale that is atrocious. I cannot believe someone said that to you. I'm Shock

Armadale · 07/04/2014 10:44

Alpaca, I think the really shocking things is that they were genuinely trying to say something helpful to us and would be really upset to know it had been hurtful Confused

MrsCosmopilite · 07/04/2014 10:45

Nothing as awful as any of these but I do remember a few people saying "Oh, you've left it LATE" (I'm an older mum, but I'm not 60 FFS)

Original poster
ithoughtofitfirst · 07/04/2014 10:57

armadale my jaw dropped when i read that. Why would anyone think that was an appropriate thing to say to a grieving person? The only thing i can say is that people really are trying to say something helpful when they come out with these gems.

OP posts:
thebestnameshavegone · 07/04/2014 10:59

kakaka my MIL , that's who

to be fair, dh still has a massive head and I made sure to ask at the 20 week scan if the baby had an average sized head (it does)

weebigmamma · 07/04/2014 11:06

Some of these comments are utterly horrendous. So sorry for anyone who has been distressed like that. Why do people insist on spreading their fear like that? Urgh.

TinyTear · 07/04/2014 11:10

oh getting pregnant is so easy, being pregnant is so easy, everyone should have babies

  • by a colleague at work with her ooopps baby while i have recurrent miscarriages
vintagecaravanhirelady · 07/04/2014 11:27

Armadale I had something similar. Had to terminate my first pregnancy at six months due to massive abnormalities, my friends response 'just think of it as a practice labour for the next one'. Arrrrrgh, was going through hell losing a baby we really wanted because she'd die anyway and had that.
Funnily enough I haven't talked to her since, her other response was disbelief that we were upset because we were choosing to end the pregnancy. Couldn't grasp the concept that our child was going to die anyway, we were just choosing the most painless way.

Some people are just insensitive twats.

fifi669 · 07/04/2014 11:27

My colleague asked me if I'd seen the picture of the zebra on a website. I said no, clicked on. It was a heavily pregnant zebra being eaten alive by a pack of hyenas and the baby being carried off :(

Can't stop thinking about it. This was last week, I'm 26 weeks and I have no idea why she thought I'd want to see that.