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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after miscarriage - part 4

1001 replies

mygirllolipop · 08/08/2006 14:39

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time4tea · 10/02/2007 23:08

Taichimum, I think Kew is a great idea. I have membership there and go fairly often - there is a trainline straight to Kew from my neighbourhood in Hackney. Membership is a bit expensive, but its bloody expensive buying individual tickets! Plus I get a couple of guest tickets and its nice to bring people with us. There's always something lovely to see there. Crocuses should be just ready to go soon... magical. We went there with DS just after he was born in 2004 to meet his godmother - the bluebells were out. So every year so far we have gone at bluebell time and taken his picture there. I love it

rubles · 11/02/2007 08:20

Time4tea, what a lovely post. Can I ask which garden centre you went to? We are in a similar area and I haven't found anywhere round here yet. I went up to Alexandra palace when I got things for my m/c, but that was a bit of a journey.

Taichimum - Kew sounds a perfect plan. I wish I had thought of that.

Pamelap - it sounds a tough time for you going through the due date and the miscarriage milestone at such similar times. Due dates seem to have great significance for lots of us, and for my part I found it quite cathartic to get it out of the way - I was very stressed in the build up but then felt so much better when it was over. I lit a little candle in my baby's flower pot in the evening and said a few words to it at bedtime, which was very peaceful, then left the candle burning. Felt worlds better the next day, like I had said goodbye.

ejt1764 · 11/02/2007 18:17

You've all got suh good ideas for commemorating edds and annivesairies.

I'm upset as the hellebore I planted last year as a memorial to my 1st mc has died ...

I'm going to be re-designing the front garden - and think I will put a crab apple tree in there in memory of both of my precious babies.

I have a scan tomorrow morning at 10.30am. Here's praying for a heartbeat in the right place.

ejt

Katsh · 12/02/2007 09:24

Hi all. Hope scan was good ejt.
Thanks all for your helpful posts. Time4tea, I was a ball of anxiety last week, and then I read your post in response to mine - you mentioned faith, and I thought "this is so the time to be relying utterly on my faith". Since then my anxiety has largely gone, and I am determined to enjoy this pregnancy no matter how long ( or short) it is. My last one lasted 10 weeks, and tbh it was a great time - we were so excited at the thought of no.3. ( That's not to say that the m/c and aftermath of big haemorrhage and months of weakness weren't awful - but pregnancy itself was great.)So I'd hate to waste this pregnancy being miserable ! I'm about to pass my due date for the one that we don't have - so it's lovely to think of your baby really coming t4t, at about the time I was hoping for mine. I do hope that you enjoy this last week or so.
On a lighter note, my sil who is a Gp told me that eating chocolate and fruit and veg daily decrease m/c risk. So here's to the bar a day habit .

firststar · 12/02/2007 09:35

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time4tea · 12/02/2007 09:39

dear all, I feel so delighted that my last few posts have helped some of you as often I worry that I'm just going blahblahblah (especially as I am particularly dippy and over emotional right now). Katsch, you gave me a good reminder about a thought which is hard to have, but we are still our babies' mothers, even if they are only with us for a few weeks.

Ejt, don't be sad about your hellebore. I think it is the act of gardening, and keeping in there and learning about growing things that is the real memorial to our little ones rather than the plants in themselves. Plants are going to go belly up all the time

Rubles, the garden centre I go to now and again is the Ally Pally one: although there is a little one nearby in Stoke Newington. As we don't have a car, anywhere is a hoof, but they do deliver. The special garden and garden centre I went to (and this was a schlep - an hour on the train and a £10 taxi!) was the Beth Chatto garden, and nursery. The nursery is amazing - especially for someone like me, who has a garden which is half in shade, plants are arranged according to sunny/shady/dry etc and this is excellent. Their website and catalogue is also great, as I am still a new learner on plants and to have plant lists with nice photos helps to understand what is being talked about. There's a great book about being a London gardener called 'the London Gardener: guide and sourcebook' by Elspeth Thompson which has lots of recommendations of good places to get plants and materials (even things that had stumped me in the past, like where to get plenty of manure/compost etc) and all her recommendations have been excellent.

time4tea · 12/02/2007 09:41

PS: Rubles, if you have a car, Beth Chatto garden isn't so bad from Hackney - a quick zip up the A10/A12

x

firststar · 12/02/2007 10:08

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rubles · 12/02/2007 10:10

Time4tea you really are the font of all knowledge! Our 'garden' is half in shade too, so I am in the same situation as you and it is not a case of simply going along to a garden centre and picking up what I fancy. I really have to think hard. Will try that Beth chatto garden as I am hopefully going to be on the bench at work as of next week, so I'll have time to get things a bit more organised and curb the chaos at home.

ejt. good luck for today (20 minutes to go, I see).

Uki · 12/02/2007 10:41

Time4tea, wow it's getting so close to your birth, expect news any day. Did you find out the sex or is it a suprise?

Welcome taichimum, It is also comming up to my last m/c edd. the 16th feb. It's a hard one for me as is also dh's birthday, so i want the day to be happy not sad.

I'm going to start my pregnancy book soon. A kinda arty/crafty book where i can put ultrasound pictures and stuff in it for dc to come. I made one for ds and it's so special to me( and hopefully ds). Like a little snippet of time, I still update his every month with his new tricks and photos. I also found this a really positive thing to do.
Does anyone else do this?

Uki · 12/02/2007 10:43

Good Luck ejt, fingers crossed

twocatsonthebed · 12/02/2007 10:48

hello everyone,

saw this thread on active conversations and thought I'd pop in to say hello from the other side.

Edie will be three months old this week - time seems to have rushed past, but at the same time I can't imagine not having her now (well, except at 3am just sometimes...).

And good luck to time4tea and littlefrog - hope to see your news, and to hear from you on the success after miscarriage thread too. And all the best to everyone else too; I thought it would never work out for me and yet it did.

tc x x

Mumpbump · 12/02/2007 11:07

Ejt - good luck - by now, you will hopefully have seen your baby!!

Uki - I love the idea of a book recording everything month by month, but never have any time to do anything like that. I struggle to keep ds' redbook up to date!!

Good luck to those who are imminently about to give birth... Hopefully, I will see you again on the success after m/c thread in due course...

I am feeling quite excited today! I think we are pretty much past the time of the last m/c although not the first. I have had slight nausea (admittedly, it might be due to a middle ear infection, but I like to think it is mild m/s) and am absolutely knackered all the time which I take to be a sign that the baby is growing well! I know that week 7 is one of the critical weeks, so am going to see my doctor towards the end of this week and then push for an early scan.

Ds was ill yesterday and super clingy and whilst I was cuddling him, I couldn't help thinking "This is nice! All 3 of us together!!" and that he was close to his new brother/sister... I probably shouldn't get so far ahead of myself, but I just have such a positive feeling about this one...

ejt1764 · 12/02/2007 12:09

I've seen my baby!

It's in the right place and its heart is beating.

I cried - dh cried - and the sonographer filled up too!!

oh, and apparently I've got beautiful ovaries - she did some pictures of them to put in her log book (I kid you not!)

I know there's a long way to go yet, but I feel like I could conquer the world (as long as I can take my sickbowl!)

ejt

rubles · 12/02/2007 12:33

And I'm crying too ejt now. That's so lovely.
And Mumpbump, you got me going too. Glad you feel so positive, I'm sure that must mean something.

pinkranger · 12/02/2007 12:35

SO pleased for you ejt , How many weeks are you now ,

It is such a releaf to see that tiny heartbeat isnt it!!!

I have my 12 week scan today, not worried but a little nervous as i have no one to come with me!

Mumpbump · 12/02/2007 12:41

BTW, I posted a separate thread, but I think it's disappeared from active conversations, so just thought I'd let you know that I have organised some flowers for Lissie which will be delivered on Saturday from all of us...

Mumpbump · 12/02/2007 12:49

Ejt - another happy result! So pleased for you...

ejt1764 · 12/02/2007 12:51

Thanks pinkranger - I'm now 6+6 - and really glad to have seen blob ...

mumpbump - how can we give you money for flowers?

ejt

firststar · 12/02/2007 13:22

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Daisybump · 12/02/2007 13:36

Just read about Lissie ...so so sad for her and wishing her and her family well through what must be a very trying time.

Congrats though to all the successful scans and BFPs. EJT you must be absolutely thrilled. Sounds like the experience DH and I had, but my ovaries weren't worth commenting on

Welcome pamelap...yes its normal and yes its difficult and you will get through it fingers crossed. I'm now 23 weeks after two mc and although still a knicker checker, it's now because I think I've wet myself rather than anything else . Wishing you lots of luck and remember this thread...it was a lifeline for me when I was going through the early stages.

firststar · 12/02/2007 13:50

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Katsh · 12/02/2007 13:55

Can I ask all of you who have had early scans, have you had them on the NHS or have you had to arrange them privately? My GP does not like to refer for early scans so I think I'm going to have to do it privately at 7 weeks.

Daisybump · 12/02/2007 14:04

Katsch...I referred myself to our local early pregnancy unit at 6+3 as I'd had a bit of cramping and bleeding and had had two previous mc. Can you do this in your area? I also had a private scan at 9 weeks as it was going to be ages till my dating scan (the previous 2 mc didn't get me there any quicker) and I wanted the extra reassurance. it cost £70 but was definately worth it.
Good luck

ejt1764 · 12/02/2007 14:13

Hi Katsch - my midwife arranged it all for me - it may be worth giving your epau a ring to ask them what the procedure is in your area.

good luck

ejt

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