Pregnancy after miscarriage - part 4

[mygirllolipop]

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fecking knicker watching.... wish i had more self control. still getting the teeniest amount of spotting and spent 10 mins staring at it wondering if its getting any worse.

its not btw, but im 6w now which is MY dangerous time all my mcs ahve been around now

Uki one year past sell-by date! unbelievable! but if you aren't vomiting etc surely ok, although of course it is right to have the listeria test. hope all is well for you

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hi. mind if i join? I had a mc at 10 weeks last July, followed by big bleed, leaving me rather unwell for 4 months. Yesterday got positive test result, and I can't believe it. I thought it wouldn't be as I'm also getting some cramps. Is that normal? I've two dd's, and don't remember cramping in the early stages with either of them. I'm only 4wks+2, so very early days. Any advice on how to deal with the all encompassing anxiety?

fecking bleeding again! bought scan forward so is now on thurs. oh shit!

HI Katsch
yes cramps are very normal as long as they are not severe, just stretching going all. We will worry though but i think they are probably a good sign meaning your body is doing something.

OH lissie- what a drama, i'm sorry it is like this, when is your scan then?

Time4 tea, I know i didn't get sick, but listeria enters through bloodstream, not at all like food posiononing, maybee if i had that i'd be less worried. listeria is very weird, has flu like symptoms and can lead to blood infections, etc, etc, wish i hadn't read stuff now.

Morning all

Lissie ? I?m so sorry ? I hope it doesn?t mean anything. {{{{BIG HUGS}}}}

Uki ? how awful about the cheese? Hope the tests don?t show up listeria ? thankfully they are taking it seriously though.

MrsFish ? I?m 6 weeks too and have had many AF-like cramps for weeks ? I was convinced AF was coming for days before I got my BFP. I don?t remember having cramps with any of my previous 3 pgs (1 DD and 2 mcs), but I?m reassured by the ladies on here who say they are generally a good sign as well as a possible bad sign. I feel as long as I?m not bleeding, then they should be ok ? but I?m a fully paid up member of knicker watchers anonymous ? might as well move my desk and computer into the loo, I spend so much time there!!

How is everyone else doing? Hope little juicy is bouncing about today?

T4T, hope you have a great lunch out today.

I?ve got a scan booked at the EPU for Thursday morning, with a letter from my GP to take straight there, if I have any more bleeding before then. EPU didn?t want to see my earlier as I?m only just 6 weeks and they weren?t sure they would see a heart beat at this stage. Felt really sick last night and this morning, but it?s eased off now, which is good in one way, as it was awful this morning, but it is reassuring!

Had a long heart to heart with DH last night, he admitted he?s not been very supportive so far, as he is scared of getting too hopeful about this little one, as he was so hurt by my last 2 mcs. I?ve told him I need his support more than anything and he can?t shut me out to deal with this alone ? hopefully he?ll be able to take time off on Thursday am to come with me for the scan.

Anyway, best get on with some work ? take care all
x

Hello all, thanks for the welcome. I have booked in for my booking in session with the midwife on the 16th, which will make me about 8 weeks, do they let you have a scan earlier after a mc or will they still make me wait till 12 weeks? I can't wait to get the first scan over and done with, it all doesn't feel quite real until you have that I find.

Good morning!!

Uki - I am well and truly gob-smacked to hear that a supermarket could stock a cheese which was a year out of date. Perhaps it was a mistake on the label - let's hope so!

Lissie - sorry to hear that your worries are continuing, but hopefully you might get an answer on Thursday.

Katsch - I've had vague abdominal pains and nothing else so I'm hoping it is just the uterus starting to stretch.

MrsFish - I am not sure, but from what other people have said, I suspect that unless you have a specific reason to have an early scan - ie. dating or concerns about m/c - you will only get the 12 weeks scan.

Fettle - my dh is the same. Doesn't want to talk about the two m/c and keeps telling me not to get carried away with this one. He also keeps telling me to take it easy and wants me to stop jogging (only started again 3 weeks ago!) to avoid any risk to the baby. Oh and he made me add lots of cold water to my lovely hot bath on the basis that hot baths are bad for pg women!! But nice to know he is genuinely concerned - men are funny creatures, are they not??

Got to go as I'm at work, but hello to everyone else!!

hello all
i have been following this thread with interest. i myself have miscarried twice. one in 2000 at 5 weeks and the second in 2006 which was a missed. i had been suffering from cramps from day of conception and i had a scan at 7 weeks and they said all was ok as there was a heartbeat though there was a small heamorhage nearby. at my 12 week scan it showed that it must have passed shortly after my earlier scan. i was still throwing up even after. i bled for 40 days after as chose to wait for nature to take its course. it took ages for the pregnancy hormone to go as tests still said i was pregnant.
anyway i caught again two months later and am now 36 weeks pregnant. i also bled with this one from 6 weeks to 15 weeks continuously so had many scans at the beginning. it turned out i had some sort of heamorhage in my uterus. which i have never seen mentioned in any pregnancy books.
so all i am saying is never give up hope that it will happen, i still cant believe that i am having a baby and even now still worry.
take care all and i hope that all goes well for you all.

Good morning everyone. It has been mighty busy on here this morning.
Lissielou, is it just spotting or is it getting worse now? You might find it just peters out again. So sorry you are having this panic.

Welcome to the new people and congratulations. I have no advice personally on how to deal with the panic as I am in the thick of it......

Juicy - I hope your boy has been making a nuisance of himself and giving you some good whacks in the stomach.

MrsFish & fettle, I have had the cramps too. I had some with dd when I got the bfp, but this time I had them at around 4+5 which were quite bad - I had a major panic and spent 24 hours in bed, but they came to nothing thank goodness.

UKI - glad you're being checked out. It is so frightening when you go and look at diseases on the web - you haven't had flu symptoms have you? fingers crossed for good results.

Hello to everyone else I haven't mentioned.

I don't know what has happened to me, but yesterday night I came over all negative about this pregnancy. I was feeling really positive and hopeful up until then but I suddenly started feeling like it was all going to go wrong, and now I am worried that it is some sort of feminine instinct that I have that is going to come true. It sounds a bit mad I suppose but you hear so much about women 'just knowing' that I am worried that this is what is happening to me. I just don't feel optimistic any more.
Part of the panic might be me coming on to MN. Coming on here and hearing other people's stories makes you realise the number of things that can go wrong. I looked at a sad thread on the ttc topic last night and it reminded me of the fact that my last baby had been shown to be fine at 6 and 8 weeks on the scan but then just died at 9 weeks...so I have no guarantee of anything, and that realisation really shook my confidence in this pg. And then I woke up and today I don't feel as rough as I was previously so that has not helped. How on Earth am I going to cope with these weeks??

Rubles - I think that being pg after a m/c is one of the hardest things. As you say, there are no guarantees that even if you get an early scan and there is a heartbeat, all will be well for the rest of the pg. I know that my first m/c was quite late because of the size of the placenta so even if I get through the 12 weeks, I know it won't necessarily be plain sailing. I think you just have to try really hard to be philosophical about it. Easier said than done, I know, but still...

I started to feel a bit worried this morning after a few days of feeling super-positive, but the thing is that I cannot cope with 9 months of worrying all the time about whether it is going to be okay. I know I am bound to have bad days, but I am going to try really hard to keep positive because, otherwise, I will wind myself up into a frenzy... I just keep willing this lo to hang on in there. Of course, if it doesn't, I think this time round will the worst so far to deal with... But if the power of positive thought counts for anything, this one will still be there at 45 weeks!!

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Rubles - just take each day as it comes. That's all we can do. Some days you'll feel positive and some you won't. It does get easier, but I don't think I will ever believe it's going to be ok until I am holding my little boy in my arms. I keep imagining all sorts and you're right, I think sometimes coming onto MN makes it worse as the no. of things that can go wrong suddenly mulitply. But on the good side we're all hear to listen and support you on the less positive days, because we know exactly how you feel. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. x

Pod is quite happy kicking away today. He just wanted to wind me up yesterday, obviously .

Uki at the cheese. Hope your test is ok.

Lissielou + Fettle - hope your scans are good.

Welcome Mrs Fish + Hello All you other Knickerwatchers

Hi ladies, have forced myself to be restrained today - more of which later:

MrsFish and Katsh - hiya, and welcome to knicker checkers anonymous. It's lovely that there are lots of people here having the same experiences - as they (probably don't) say :'A paranoia shared is a pranoia halved'!

Lissie - scadwallop!! you're not being allowed to relax for a minte, are you! Glad your scan's been moved to Thursday - I'll be thinking of you.

Fettle - After the last mc I spent a lot of time talking to a counsellor - and talked a lot about the diffrent ways that dh & I were dealing with he whole thing. If your dh is anything like mine, I know that he felt utterly helpless - especially after my last mc - as there was absolutely nothing he could do. I talked to him about it too, and he felt somehow responsible for getting me in that state. He's coming to my scan next Monday with me - but more out of concern for me than out of any real hope. He's always found it difficult to imagine any pg as a baby - the scan is always when that change happens for him. Unfortunately, my last c was only picked up at my dating scan, so even that's been taken away from us a bit. What I'm trying to say (badly) is that there are many blokes who feel the same way as your dh. I really do hope he comes to the scan with you.

Rubles - it's really difficult to keep the happy thoughts going - I'm having a fairly negative day myself. Thinking of you ...

Firststar - I have a mantra for when I lie in bed - I put my hands on my stomach and tell my baby to hang on in there, and that I'm looking forward to meeting it. I also did that with my last pg, but it's hard this time as I don't want to get too emotionally involved just in case it all goes tits up again.

Uki - (Victor Meldrew moment) I cannot believe it ... I'd be threatening trading standards and all sorts ...

I did as my GP told me this morning, I stayed in bed (dh was in total charge of small child this morning), read, didn't get up until after 10am, then came downstairs and vegged on the sofa and watched crap tv. Now I'm getting paranoid because I'm not feeling quite as sh$tty as I was yesterday, and am getting worried that the pg is over and that I am going to see that black hole again on the screen when I go for my scan on Monday. Don't get me wrong - I'm still permanently nauseous, and being sick, and feeling dizzy, just not quite as badly as yesterday ...

Oh hlpe me wise women - am feeling very paranoid today - better go and check my knickers again...

ejt

p.s. do you think we could get Ben Fogle to be the presenter of the knicker watch programme of Bill Oddie is not quite as suitable?

p.p.s. or how aboutTony Robinson? - with the lack of bedroom action I've seen since I found out I was pg, my knicker zone is almost a site of archeological interest ...

I'm on for Ben Fogle

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Tony Robinson is the bloke who does Time Team (the archeology pregramme on channel 4) now ... he was in Blackadder (and was one of the writers)....

My claim to fame is that I graduated from my MA at the same ceremony that Tony Robinson was given an honorary doctorate!

ejt

welcome Katsch and feeling for all of you having worried thoughts. I realise now I blanked a lot of the first weeks and months. the DH/DP thing is sad too - my DH has done his best and was really sad about the mc but didn't see it as a baby, like I did. Now he seems much more attached to this baby and more excited about the birth, which I am still relentlessly unhopeful about... the next two weeks are a blank, in so many ways.I do think there is no substitute for the women on this thread, for understanding where we are coming from at all these times. Genuinely I have felt we are here for each other

A couple of RL things that helped me - I worried like mad about the baby I mc, and it got me nowhere, so worrying seemed completely pointless, quite a lesson in life for me, a Mad Queen of All the Worriers. Can't say it has stopped me being a worrier completely but it has helped me realise that worrying does get you no-where. I spoke to my parish priest about it (telling this in a completely ecumenical manner, as they said once in Father Ted - not trying to foist any beliefs on anyone) and he was really helpful, and I think if you do have any kind of religious or other spiritual beliefs it can help to use that to work through feelings. wish I had seen a specific mc counsellor, that might have me coping better now, with just 2 weeks to go... I spent a lot of time, and a fair amount of money, on gardening and this helped a lot; also on food, treats generally, especially nice outings, and made a special effort to see friends and do absorbing things. also got a bit more selfish - in the sense of thinking and acting on (if not saying ) f* you to people/things not being supportive or caring sufficiently. Its been a time for real bravery on my part and this is the same for us all on this thread. We deserve good things.

long ramble over.... hang on in there.

thinking loving thoughts for all mums and bubs on the thread

HI Again

Thanks for your messages, I'm trying to be positive that I don't have listeria. I have been feeling really tired and a little nauseaous all over again though. It is rare like 1 in 20,000 but you know it's easy to feel that unlucky!!!!

Rubles- It is hard getting to the 12 week mark, I had good and bad days all the way, mostly negative as I didn't want to get my hopes up. I think once you have a scan at 9 and a bit weeks you'll be fine, I hope time hurries along for you.

Fettle-my dh was a bit detatached at first too, didn't like to talk about all my worries so i felt a bit alone. He was so nervous at both scans though, nearly more than me.

What about Ruby Wax for Hosting knicker watch, i think she'd be quite hands on!!!

love the ruby wax idea.

blood looks quite dark and isnt runny so i think its old.

that's good news lissie. Fingers crossed for thursday, What time?

its at 10am

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