PG after MC: Posifrickitivity thread for the batsh*t crazy

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Welcome ladies, new and old. May we all have dull and boring pregnancies. Pull up a chair, crack open a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine and settle in for mutual handholding, fishslapping and neurosis.

Tomcat I'm in the same boat as you... Apart from Monday/Tuesday when it was so bad I was actually throwing up water but now back to just feeling so ill I just want to curl up in a ball and cry... It's hell isn't it?

On the bright side I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and thanks to a diet of ginger biscuits and oranges I fit into the dress I bought a size too small two months ago

On a serious note - I find eating every two hours helps even if it is just a nibble on a cracker or buttered toast. Eat something as soon as you wake up as well. Don't not eat! That got me two days in bed feeling very sorry for myself!

Result kjh! I'm craving either really sweet or really savoury. Nothing sits well no matter what time I eat. I feel like I've been steam rollered! Didnt feel this way 7 years ago with DS and not earlier in the year either so taking it to be a positive sign no matter how much I also want to curl into a ball. No way I'm getting into an item of clothing I bought last week lol....super bloated.

Need some objective opinions please ladies. Completely off the whole pregnancy subject, but you ladies are so good at advice!
Don't want to post on the AIBU thread as scared of some of the posters over there!
Am now 7 months pg. DH has gone on a work night out. Is still not home. To be fair to him, he is texting me lots, keeping me informed etc. but he knows I don't sleep well when he is out, and can't get back to sleep especially at the moment when he comes in. He goes out quite a lot(more at weekends). I am fairly relaxed about that sort of thing (he has been on 2 'guys holidays' and a couple weekends away while I have been pg) but this time it is annoying me because I have been so tired this week and have work tomorrow! However, he doesn't do this on a work night very often.
Am I being unreasonable, or should he be a bit more considerate?

Hi IbIP - hope you are actually asleep now. (I have weird insomniac nights when I wake at 3-4am and that's it)

I guess there are two sides, you need your sleep and it's not fair that you can't go out and enjoy yourself too.
But equally I did find that it took my DH a good few months after DS was born to "get" that life had changed and he therefore had to change too.

We have much longer to get used to the idea as it's our bodies that are feeling every change through pregnancy. Men don't get that, so apart from watching us, they are that bit removed from it all. Also when the baby does appear, it can be pretty scary and a lot of men do freak out slightly and try to carry on like nothing has changed. My SIL has a 5mo DS and her DH has been on 2-3 weekends away and one week away, plus lots of nights out. I think because their DS has been quite hard work and colicky

My advice? Talk to him about how you are feeling, but equally let him go out now and when the baby first arrives. Babies are not always that interesting when vv small (at least for men/other people), if you let them (DP) get used to them slowly, you'll find they are much more engaged a few weeks/months in. And by then you'll be ready for a night off/away.

I think forcing a baby on someone (even if very much wanted) or a lifestyle change from"freedom" to staying in every Friday night can be a really tough/risky thing to do.

Sorry epic post- hope it makes some sense! And FwiW I don't really like AIBU forum

Hope you got some sleep Pink? Not wanting to rock the boat but me thinks DH may have got a little bit too into making the most of getting out before baby arrives. I work in a male dominated environment. I suspect his mates are totally encouraging him to 'get out whilst he can' and have fed him a load of horror stories about him never getting out again once baby arrives. Just because you can't drink (and let's face it there are only so many nights out where you can be the sobre one before they get dull) it doesn't mean you enjoy staying home alone. Personally I would sit him down, tell him he's had his free reign but now it's time to think a bit more about you and compromise on no nights out on a school night? Plus maybe remind him that soon when he's going out he won't be able to drink anyway incase baby makes an early appearance.....My DP has just got gig tickets for the week before DD, not a problem but I did laugh a lot when I pointed out he wouldn't be able to drink, aah his little crest fallen face!!! (Does that make me evil? Sorry, I'm just not into this I will nurture your unborn heir and be a goody two shoes whilst you carry on/squeeze more fun in because your life is coming to an end as you know it! Sob. Shared responsibility!). Rant over.

Agreed Gaeden. think he needs to be at home with you more, pink.

I mean, not keeping you awake on a work night and generally being more considerate! He should obviously still have some social life but so should you, do you go out with friends at weekends?

Thanks for the input ladies.

He finally got home at 2.30. I got to sleep at 3.30 (ish) then woke up again at 4 and at 5 because in his sleep he flings his arms around (always has) and managed to whack me in the bump twice (not hard!!! Just enough to wake me up).
So I believe words will be had as I am off to work on less than 4 hours sleep. :(

Choc- I totally agree about giving people time to change and naively as this is our first, was planning that when baby comes along we will each do our turn and still get to enjoy the nights out/weekends away with friends that we both have regularly! Have I lost the plot? :)

Garden and Blackholes - I think that's what I'm annoyed about. Just the whole 'keeping awake on school night' bit. I have no objections to non school nights when I can sleep as much as I like the next day.
Garden- what you say about being egged on by others is so true! He has a couple of friends who I know have been doing this (and another group who are the exact opposite and are very encouraging of the 'life doesn't have to change' camp :) ) so this may be where this one has come from.
And you raise a v good point about not drinking soon! I did (jokingly) ask if he was looking forward to his 9 months sober soon, as I had done mine it was almost his turn.... You should have send his little face drop!! Ha!

Anyway, thank you ladies. V helpful!

ibip not necessarily naive, it just depends on what type of baby you get! My DD was breast fed and did not stick to a schedule and would not take a bottle so it was pretty much me looking after her 24/7. To be fair DH looked after me and I looked after DD. I have lots of friends that have less needy babies who do do what you say and take turns going out or leave the baby with the grandparents and go out together so it may well happen for you.
The thing with always being ok with your DH going out is that he probably has no idea that you need him now even before the baby is here, hopefully he'll take on board what you say. I hope work isn't to awful x

Aw pink I sympathise, we had string words where once it was turned on me that I was being the unreasonable one. We agreed that if he was going to be out after midnight, unless I was still awake then he was to sleep in the spare room. Needless to say he was so pissed done nights that he came into our room out of habit but soon learnt. I agree school nights aren't fair, he's been out to football matches then the pub recently but luckily he's agreed to come home for about 11 or 12 at the latest. They just don't get that sleep is so precious. I reckon a fair bit of making up is required, get him to clean the bathroom, run you a bubble bath, make or order in (and pay for) your favourite dinner and an early night tonight me thinks.

Got Friday 13th hospital appointment doom...not even sure why they want me in as all my other ante natal appointments are with gp and I had my bloods/whooping cough last week hmm. Maybe I'll get a wee scan as a treat?!

And god how can I forget... Totally non me...I woke up incredibly randy and pounced on dh...first time dtd since rape week 7 months ago gulp! Think he's in shock. Hope baby doesn't get dimples

Haha Janie sounds like you had a far better morning than I had!

So he has no comprehension as to why I am annoyed, and his only question was, so what do you want me to do next time I go out. Arse. Ah well. Plenty of chocolate and mini cheddars for today :)

Has anyone else had a really long wait for their bloods to come back?

Grrrr pink that's exactly the reaction I got before when I was pissed off!! They don't get it. Hope he realises the errors of his ways. I hinted at...sleep in the spare room, stay at a mates house or just don't stay out that late on a school night being an arse. Getting super angry helped make him realise. And cry. Emotional hormonal 'you're a complete fucktard sometimes' tears x

Pink MEN! What else can I say? May I suggest playing him at his own game and just wake him up repeatedly tonight as he'll probably be tired (See I am evil )

Fod are u talking about bloods after 12 wk scan? If so I think mine took a couple of weeks, I would say that the norm is for it to take that long unless there is a problem then they ring you within a few days. Take it as a positive.

Janie ha ha to dimples

Thanks, they are from my booking in appointment but the longer it takes the more worried I get... My midwife is soooo crap it's scary! Apparently it usually takes 2 days but I've been waiting a week and in that time phones the drs every morning, phoned the maternity unit and the midwife

Janie - crying doesn't work, just makes him angry! Grrr

Garden - evil and I like it! Mwaahhahhah.

Fod - I didn't get mine back til my 16 week appointment! They just said they would contact me if anything was wrong, but other than that not to worry. It didn't occur to me to do anything else!

Fod - same as Pink so really don't worry xxx

garden i love your evil thinking, i support it all the way!

fod i agree with the others on the blood thing

well just back from hospital and they did give me a scan! not really sure why, but the doctor was so fun! he was crazy spanish / italian guy (not sure which and can;t read his writing to make out his name) - kinda looked like he was out of a movie - even the midwife in the room was looking at him as if he was crazy ha! anyhoo, all good with the bambino phew! already weighing in at 3lb4oz and he wants me to come back in 5 weeks for another scan just to make sure things are going well. because of his accent i thought he said he wanted to bring me in in 5 weeks...like to actually have the baby!!! i nearly died!!! he also said that he assumed we know the sex of the baby! i shouted nooooooooo! he giggled lots and said ''well i know!'. it was the funniest appointment ever! strange as well as they have a policy in my hospital that they don't tell and you aren't allowed to ask the sex. so if it's that obvious on the scan...does that mean it's a boy?! crumbs who knows.

my faith in lucky friday 13th is secure for now :)

i forgot to welcome irish and laura/poppy yesterday - yay for bfps, may the posifrickintivity be with you!

Hmmm husbands! IBIP I hope you get to talk some sense into him. We're off to a wedding today - DH has been there since last night as he's the best man. One of his friends called me on his behalf at 2am - they were drinking a bottle of jaeger in someone's back garden and felt the need to inform me of this fact - thankfully I had just got home from work and was not asleep but after a four hour nap and another four hour train journey to look forward to I'm feeling pretty knackered! DH is in for a shock when he discovers we're going home after the wedding tonight and not painting the town red until the early hours like we used to at weddings in his home town

Now I just have to figure out how to look like I'm drinking but not actually drink anything - there are two pregnant women on my table who know me really well. This is going to be tricky! My dancing-on-the-tables wedding rep precedes me!

Ha! Janie Iaughing at you pouncing on DH... Mine has seen none of that for the past two months poor bloke! Glad the scan went well - crazy doctor sounds hilarious!

Kat - he doesn't usually give me a time. Doesn't like to be 'constrained' to something. I usually ask for a ballpark (eg couple pints, closing time, early hours) which is fine (although invariably changes!) and he usually always lets me know. Which works for us..... When I don't have to work all day!
I think bump is right - it just hasn't occurred to him that things need to change a little. Unfortunately he meets any change with complete resistance (back to being constrained) so may be a while before he works this one out.

Janie - fabulous scan news! Very jealous you know baby size, does that give you a predicted birth weight? I am getting v worried about the big babies that run in our family!

ibip sorry you had a bad night - maybe try talking to him when he's not hungover and you've both had more sleep. I'm sure it's going to be resolved!

janie you've had a good start to the day! I'm jealous, DH is exhausted from DIY and doesn't want to DTD! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!! Good luck with your appointment today!

I hope everyone is OK. So glad it's Friday (only 3 weeks left at work - yay!) x