Anyone due October 2004?

[fisil]

Feel very nervous writing this. But I'm in my bold "sod the doctor" mood. Anyone joining me?

Eyelash? (after all, I consider it to be you who got me here in the first place )

Anyone else?

As far as I know, I am not being speculated about. We have told a few people. I figured that I would tell the people I am closest too, i.e. those whose support I would want if the worst were to happen and I lost the little bean.

That said, there is a really nosey woman at work who keeps pretending to be concerned and asking me if I am ok, when actually she just wants to be the first to know. Which she isn't - ha ha ha.

Have already told my boss (partly because we needed to do a load of planning work and it didn't seem fair not to), who has been fab, even if he is very squeamish and doesn't want a single detail.

Can totally sympathise with how annoying it must be to be speculated about though. Yuck.

Yes absolutely, something in there is squishing our stomachs! That's why I am surprised I have gained 4lbs and really don't eat that much and drink water like there is no tomorrow. Urgghh, I am dreading going back to work as I feel like everyone is going to guess I am pregnant (feeling very fat and face is full of spots) and don't want to tell until I have had my scan. I guess I am a bit superstitious. Is everyone else keeping this a secret at work? My boss keeps telling me I look tired but I think he has guessed it and want's to see my reaction. Quite honestly I'd like to tell him where to stick it!!

How's this....I have quit smoking - what a give away. Also keep turning down that well earned glass of wine after a very stressful day at work.

My give away is that I have stopped caffeine - from the Starbucks/Diet Coke addict, it's a bit noticeable (saving me a fortune though!)

I told the boss here when I had the scare at the weekend, just in case the worst happened and I wouldn't be at work. He was just fab about it.

I agree about waiting for the 12 week scan before telling the world at large - I think I've read somewhere that the risk of m/c drops to 1% after the first trimester. We've told our immediate family and a couple of very close friends for exactly the reasons beansprout said - if the worst happened I'd tell them about it anyway.

My cousin told evertone as soon as she found out! It seemed like a really long pregnanacy!

Piglet, I am very jealous of you having your scan, although you had a scary time before hand, you must feel SO good now that you have seen the little baby and know all is well. You are lucky, I feel like it's still so long away, I am only 7 weeks and feel quite paranoid about m/c I have terribly dreams at night that I have a m/c and wake up feeling really upset like I want to cry my eyes out, I never thought I would feel so strong about this.

Turtle, I know how you feel, and it's such a horrible thing to just have to sit and wait it out. My scan won't be for another 4-5 weeks apparently and it just feels like forever. I take comfort in feeling this sick and exhausted which people always seem to say is a good sign. I just hope this time passes quickly for us all. Piglit - so glad your scan was ok, it must have been so frightening to bleed. So far have been blessed and haven't had to deal with that, so glad it's all ok for you.

Don't worry Turtle35 - I know exactly how you feel. I find myself thinking - "yippee, 10 weeks, nearly there" and then I get so anxious about a m/c and end up reading all about what to expect and what to look out for.

I also find myself looking ahead and planning things (sauntering into Mothercare at lunchtime for example) and then panicking just in case it all goes wrong. I was really surprised to see a post from someone who's only just found out she's pg and has bought a maternity dress for a wedding in August!! I'd never do that!

I hadn't realised quite how attached I'd become to this baby until I thought I was losing it. I was terrified.

Hang in there - I know how you feel. I don't think there's anything we can do to make it better, unfortunately.

Oh I'm the same. Have read more about m/c than I have about pregnancy. On all those week by week guides I won't read beyond the week I am actually in as I don't want to tempt fate (plus it would probably freak me out!) Each time I tell someone I think "I shouldn't have done that, I won't tell anyone else".

Fortunately, I work in an office which is probably the most fertile in the country. In an office of 60 people I have seen 15 babies born in the last 18 months, so I am surrounded by people who just have ok, healthy pregnancies, which is very reassuring (and then, of course, I think I will be the exception to that.....arghhh!!)

Aaaargh! So true! I looked at a week by week guide for week 11 last week and blamed my scare on that!!

Oh, and I count up the number of people I know who have babies and then think about the number of people I know who have had m/cs and try to work out what the ratio is and whether that means I'll be in the healthy pg quota or the m/c quota. Am I going mad???

No Piglit, not mad, or if you are, then we all are! It's hard though. As people don't tend to announce until 12 weeks, you don't tend to hear about this bit so much, as it's all done by the time the happy event is declared. It scares me just how high the stakes are from here on in. From this moment, it's my worst fear that I lose this (or beanie's dad). Gulp. Could get quite distraught just thinking about it....

My mum miscarried late with her first (2nd trimester). Bless her, she isn't telling me when, so I don't fixate on the date, but suffice to say, she is fretting about me m/c probably more than I am!! Roll on the scan!!

I think the only thing we can hold on to is the fact that (according to my m/w) the rougher you feel, the better for the baby. Apparently it means that you have lots of hormones pumping around and helping the baby to grow.

Of course, the next thing I'm worried about is my nuchal fold scan in 2 weeks time (at 12 weeks). I wonder if the worrying ever stops?!

No you definitely are not going mad, I have done the same thing, I think it's natural.

Ok so I have just received my booking in appointment letter and it's not until the 27 April!! I will be 14 weeks by then! I really don't want to wait so long.

Beansprout, did you say that you also have to wait till you are 14 weeks? It almost seems cruel to make us wait so long. I guess it's still in first trimester though...urgghh

I don't think that it will - there will always be something to worry about I suspect. Boy, does having this help though. It's so fantastic to find people who are going through the same thing at the same time. Other people just look at me a bit sympathetically if I tell them, and I suspect, don't want to hear scary stuff as it scares them too and everyone just wants it to all be ok, with no problems. I really, really don't want to be the mad pg woman, so having this means I can tell you other pg people and look sorted to my friends!! Hurrah!!

Turtle35 - that's pants, and yes, it looks like I am going to have to wait that long too. Don't have a date yet. They have already said to me to ring to ask about cancellations - worth a try?
I thought they were supposed to be more concerned about us slightly older bean carriers, not less?!!

Yes I am scared of the Nuchal fold scan too as I am 35 and most books refer to that age for further scans. I don't think the worries stop until you have the little thing in your arms and are told it's totally healthy which feels like a life time away.

14 weeks seems very late for a booking appointment - I think that's technically the second trimester. Mine was done at 9 weeks and my GP's surgery say it should be between 8 and 10 weeks. What if you want a CVS test or a nuchal scan? Are you having a scan then too? I didn't even begin to feel vaguely relaxed about the whole thing until I'd seen my m/w. This seems very unfair. Can you go to an early preg unit and speak to someone there?

By the way - are we all oldies? I'm 35 (nearly 36 - eeek)

You are right, this does seem rediculous to me, I am going to ring them. In the letter it asks if I want to book the Nuchal Fold Scan I have to ring the Ultrasound department. I thought that was automatically included??!! How do you feel about Amnio? Scares me but I guess that is dependant on the Nuchal Fold test?

I am going to ring them and will come back and tell you the outcome.

Message withdrawn

I have to pay £90 for the nuchal fold scan but I think it's money well spent for something like this. Amnio sounds very scary but if my nuchal result isn't good then I'll probably have it. As you know, I'm a hopeless worrier! My m/w asked if I wanted CVS but that seemed to have a m/c rate of up to 3%.

Harman - each to their own and all that. I'm 35, this is my first pg and I would like to have the scan so that I have all the information available to me. I've been told that if I have the nuchal I shouldn't have the triple test as they can contradict each other or something.

Blimey - all these tests. Am 10 weeks and so far have had a locum doctor knock over my urine sample and no information on anything. Couldn't even tell me how to choose what hospital I want to go to. From what I have read, a booking appt at 14 weeks is a bit late for some of the tests? Have I got that right?

How you getting on Turtle?

Am no spring chicken myself, at 34. Have a 16 year old step daughter too.... never something that makes you feel any younger!!

what is wrong with this country!!??? Urgghh don't they know that dealing with pregnant woman whose hormones are raging out of control is a bad idea when it comes to anything to do with a baby!!

I got some rude so and so on the end of the phone who claimed the next appointments are running into May, I explained that at this rate I would be in labour before I recieve a bloody appointment with this hospital. However I have managed to put the Nuchal Fold scan forward to 13 April which is just after Easter and I will be 12 weeks then so at least that is on schedule but don't see my m/w till the end of April.

Sorry to rant and rave but I worry when this is the first dealing with the hospital I would expect it all to go a bit more smoothly. I am so glad I can talk about this with other woman who understand, thanks for listening/reading.

beansprout - I think that's right. I know that everywhere does things differently (I don't get a choice of hospital for example but I'm happy to go the local one which is only 5 minutes away) but if you are anything like me you will only feel relaxed when you've spoken to someone.