Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

[eagleray]

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome

Hello all.

chairman glad I'm not the only venter on here! Vent away ESP when it's as entertaining as that. Your DP is vividly brought to life! I don't have much advice because I have the reverse problem - my DP always has to have the best and most expensive and so do his family. He literally fears value food, in fact anything not premium, and finds budgeting so boring he cannot hear a word I say about it - goes temproarily deaf. As those who've been on this thread for a while may remember he spent three years not earning a bean while he pursued various critically successful but totally unremunerative creative projects. Perhaps this does help? Which is better I wonder?

scarecrow I recognise your mum a bit though - mine mixes together Chinese takeaway leftovers and bolognaise sauce in order to avoid waste. Bleuurgh.

eagle lovely to hear from you - there's no danger of me walking four miles. I am feeling like someone who's been in the airport waiting room for too long, trying to nap on my karrimor and all the shine and glamour of travel has worn off! It will be back on as soon as they beckon me to the aircraft/operating table though!

badmiss I was wondering where you'd got to. So sorry to hear about the disruption - bstrds. Is that the flowerbed that floradix built? I would suggest that you ask for compensation but I bet you really feel like doing that NOT. I hope you can give yourself some kind of compensatory treat if that's not too fanciful.

knicky/scarecrow re alternative treatments I've been told I can have acupuncture for my spd. Scarecrow glad to hear one worked for you.

Not honestly sure I have time to go though! Between ds's appointments, administering my mil's house move' administering my own move, and getting ready for baby. Unless I chuck ds into nursery four days a week which I don
T want to do.

AFM a bit fascinated by the huhnes too. I wonder if she did the right thing grassing him up. Probably yes in the public interest but for women, for herself, for her family - dunno. part of me feels men shouldn't feel there are no consequences to affairs but then maybe vicky was a nightmare and the relationship breaking down wasn't just male fecklessness. anyway don't totally understand it eg don't understand why he couldn't take points in first place - it's not like being caught with drugs and call girls.

Went to midwife yesterday - am measuring a week ahead. I feel sure this baby is a whopper. Bump is flipping uncomfortable. To quote the 'we hate pregnancy' thread, GET IT OUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!

Any twinges ladies?

Xxxx

MissM, no wonder you're livid about the national grid people, having lied to you, then ruined your day. I don't suppose there's much you can do about it, but I hope you've complained vociferously.

Knicky, I completely understand about your DH being "tired". Mine is always more tired than me, no matter whether I've been working lots when he hasn't, or what. We're both owls, but I know I have to go to bed earlier (except when I get home from work at 11.30pm like tonight) to get DD to school, he just continues to stay up late because he "can't get to sleep". It drives me mad too. And with things as they are (still), I think he's partly avoiding me too.

Chairman, I hope your DH has been returned to you, and the whinger has left.

Somewhere, another lot of moving admin to deal with doesn't sound like much fun. It's good you get on so well with your MIL. I don't think I could live with mine - or my DM for that matter, but hope it won't come to that. I'm not looking forward to going on hols with MIL for 2 weeks, but I hope that as we'll be on neutral territory and she won't be taking over my house, it might be ok.

Scarecrow, I hope your work do appreciate you, but I realised a long time ago that where I work, no-one in management really cares if you struggle in while feeling dreadful, it's just not wanting to cause problems for colleagues who then have to find cover.

I'm checking in regularly for news, especially as knicky & chairman are so close to your due dates, but not having much chance to post.

No change in the situation here. DH came home last night muttering about how he can't concentrate on anything. I'm on lates the next couple of days, then he's working away at the weekend, so not much opportunity to communicate over the next few days. I know we need to keep talking, but we're not making any progress. I'm supposed to be seeing my manager this afternoon to tell her, but I can see it slipping.

I'll keep reading, even if I can't to post for a few days.

Chairman - your FiL did what???! I don't think I will ever get over that one. Also makes me appreciate the good side of being married to a man more like Mr Somewhere (ie at the feckless, sorry quality end of the money spectrum)...though he has slightly double standards - viz he goes motor racing and then lectures me about leaving the shower running for more than 15s before I get in...
Somewhere I will not mention this basse-cuisine idea to my mum as she is sure to take it as a good idea. My sister recently persuaded her to throw out the last cans etc left over from our move to the UK in 1989

Sparkly, you are so right about doing thing for colleagues, though where I work hierarchy not that important, compared to some jobs. I had a breakdown in 2009 (sorry if this embarrasses anyone) and needed 8mo off and they could not have been more supportive since - yes they work us hard, but they all do too - more so. I do feel immense loyalty to the company and a handful of great managers as well as my team.
Which might be the moment to say I passed up the vol redundancy and agreed to stay but have told them I won't work 4 long days when I go back and try are, again, v supportive. In the end it was too much uncertainty and change for marriage and poss me too (cert DH) and friends pointed out that I would be in a weak position to insist on suitable working hours etc, with no guarantee I will enjoy the new career. When DC at school full time I can reconsider return to study with mush lower childcare costs.

Worked from home yesterday - was so much better than commute so am going to ask to so again Monday, then only three days left to commute!! Ironically worked on and off til 9.30 last night as could take at own pace, for masses done in quiet of home, and feel much better about going in today. Highly recommend I anybody who can do it later in pg.

Waves to all xx

scarecrow why would you having a breakdown embarrass anyone? So sorry you had to go through that. It must have been a horrible time so it's great that work were supportive. I've had struggles with depression myself, albeit mainly in my 20s.

So, not much longer to go work-wise. I think you should take to your bed and demand to be brought breakfast every morning plus a full afternoon tea every day for at least a week. Perhaps we could arrange something from the snug. Maybe Daniel Day Lewis is still hanging around and could be your foxy waiter.

sparkly sorry things aren't moving on. It's hard when you've got busy lives. I hope you get some time and space to talk. Good luck telling your manager. Hope you get a positive reaction. Sounds like you need one.

knicky I saw a FB post from a friend who has a 2 year old and a 1 month old saying the older one had diarrhoea and she'd had to get up in the night and change him 3 times plus feed the baby 3 times so she'd had no sleep. Her DH had slept through. Made me so cross. Some dads think they can get away with doing sod all in case they're tired for work. As opposed to tired looking after 2 kids all day. Grrrrr!

My DH is starting to return and the imposter is on his way out. Largely because he realised he'd forgotten about a savings account with some money in it that'll pay for a few things. I also told him that nobody was ever complimented for being a tight arse. It's DS's birthday tomorrow and I told DH this morning that I was going to buy finger food from M&S for the little birthday tea with friends as I'm too knackered to spend tomorrow cooking all day. I could see him desperately trying not to say anything. He just nodded and said 'OK'. . At least he's trying, bless him.

And.... It's my dime date tomorrow as well. Eeek! The annoying texts have started coming in from nosy people. I'm getting some hilariously spurious ones from my mum 'have you got snow?', 'how's the bathroom fitter doing?', 'has the man come to fit the new radiators?', what she's really asking is 'are you in labour?'. I told her that we'd call when I'm admitted. She never texts me so I'm finding all her silly questions hilarious.

Right, off to spend money we haven't got . Will check in later.

due date! Though I really fancy a Dime bar now...

Just marking my place and saying Hi!!!! Going to read all the posts as I have missed loads....

Happy due date chairman (ooh - a dime bar....haven't had one of those in years....you've got me craving one now!) Oh yes, have already had a couple of 'feel any twinges yet' type texts myself. Which the answer is of course is NO and DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE LET YOU KNOW??!!

Had my reflexology yesterday. She pummeLled my feet, and it may be merely coincidence but have experienced one or two period like pains since. Nothing major though and certainly nothing that you could call contraction like.

sparkly lovely to hear how you're getting on. Bloody shifts get in the way though when it comes to talking. Have you got any rest days coming up?

Ladies, all this chat about finances has got me thinking how DP is when it comes to that sort of stuff. It's actually me who keeps a close rein on things and thankfully Mr Knicky is not a tesco finest man nor a blue stripey. Just somewhere in the middle. Though, must concede a new all singing and dancing printer/scanner turned up at the house yesterday. Apparently it's because I'm always going on how I'm in need of one (I'm not....) It's now safely nestled under our bed, still boxed up. Guaranteed it will still be there in 6 months time.....

eagle wonderful to hear from you and to hear how baby eagle is.

scarecrow woohoo for only 3 more commutes!! I've got to say the moment I stopped commuting I felt so much more relaxed. Not long now.

I've got my 40 week appointment this afternoon although am still 39 +4. I'm not sure yet as to whether they are going to sweep me or not. I'll let you know. When I had a sweep with DD, it got things going a treat.

knicky... good luck with your app this afternoon. Sweeping seems to work with my SILs as well so fx for you!!!

Hi to everyone!!! I kind feel weird posting in here , kinda of pushing my luck (only 7 weeks ) but I really wanted to say HEELOOO to everyone and so say I am a lurker! :)

I was going to be a birth partner for a friend in beginning of April, but baba did not wait and after lots of stress for Mum and family baby Alex arrived and I was there!!! After all that, baby just wanted to feed and sleep and I got to hold him loads!! Second time I am someone birth partner but first time since ttc and I thought...OOMMGG it hurts!!!! But Mum was happy I was there and I am happy to help her and quite honoured to see another brand new person arriving!!! She almost broke my hand though!!

I booked a private scan on 22th March (will be 8 weeks then). I hope it will help my nerves...as anxiety seems to follow me. I am hoping that if everything is as it should be, the chances of MC will be low. MW booked for next Wednesday

Quick lunch treat to check in... When DD was due we appointed my sister the point of contact and she passed on messages to rest of my and DH's families. That way nobody expected replies directly and we were largely spared texts adding to our impatience! My sister loved it and worked well for us.

Hello everyone
I'm 40, 2 wks only and full of trepidation. Have had x4 mc - please keep fingers crossed for me

x

Chairman re hubby and texts from mum.
Scarecrow well done on decision and nearly there re maternity leave!
Notsoold good to hear from u good luck with scan
Knicky sorry I actually wrote 'any twinges' as a sign off in a message - soz.
Northern woman good luck hon - congrats on bfp xxx

somewhere please no need to apologise! I'm fine for everyone on here to ask about any twinges, especially yourself. We've been on much of this journey together and it's wonderful that we're both heading towards the finish line now.
notsoold lovely to hear from you again. How are you feeling? Any MS?
northern I do hope your pregnancy is a smooth, event-free ride. Congratulations and welcome to the thread.

No sweep today, they're going to wait till next Weds when I'll be 40+3. The midwife said my bump looked very low, so hopefully I won't need the appointment. DD will be around for the next 4 days so fingers crossed with all my running round with her may be enough to get things going.

Congratulations northern from a fellow northerner. Here's to a healthy and happy pregnancy. Hope this is the sticky one. You'll get lots of support on here.

knicky what a meany not giving you a sweep. I had one during my pretend labour last week. Not that it's done any good. Probably what caused the icky plug incident. Low bump is promising, and pains. So exciting!

Northern... Welcome!!!!! :)

Knicky no MS and just a bit tired ,however I am such a lazy cow anyway. If it could be called a symptom is the insomnia. That is compounded with the knowlledge of how much I will want to sleep on the following day therefore having insomnia and a grumpy old mood!
Sorry you didn't get the sweep...as bump is low that is good!!!
Scarecrow...I loved the idea of a point of contact. Last time we said to relatives that baby was going to be 2 weeks later than really he should. Then Ds decided to overstay is welcome on my belly and was born the day that I had told everybody. Punishment for lying, I reckon!!:) so I will need something to keep everyone at arms length !!!!

Mrs Wooster Have been watching lots of Scandinavian stuff lately....Borgen, Wallander, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but also films like Let the Right One In, and Troll Hunter...all quirky and brilliant!

Scarecrow Kenneth B? Saw him (and Daniel Day Lewis, and Rupert Everett, and Colin Firth) on stage in Another Country in about 1983! Eagles 3 mile walks exhausting me just reading about them...

CharimanWow Hope the labour better this time!

Yes, we need countdown to labour clock or similar!

Somewhere I know about the bursting into tears.....

Knicky OMG, are they making you go the whole way? I was praying that they would let me go early too.....

Somewhere If stupid pool wasn't miles away, would love to swim.... You have your hands full with MIL's move too....mind you, does it take your mind off of waiting and nipple-twiddling!

ChairmanWow I just can't see myself going the whole way, especially as Madam turned up at 31 weeks...

knicky Enjoy your sofa time! Good luck with the reflexology!

somewhere Bugger the cleaning up. Enough is enough!

ChairmanWow Sorry to hear your DH is turning into a measly miser. My ex-H was rather like that....though he'd always find money for alcohol for himself. He even tried to ration nappies for DD

scarecrow I'm very wary about making work happy by working even when I shouldn't. I did that, then got shat upon from a great height.... just be careful!

Chris Huhne/Vicky Pryce? A domestic drama played out on a national level...

I could see DH's ex doing something like that....

Chairman Wow was very dubious about reflexology until I had it, and she asked if I had a kidney problem (I said no). A week later was rushed into A & E with kidney failure on one side...

If your DH starts rationing loo roll, we will all understand it as a reason for murder....

knicky Enjoy the sofa-lounging. Here oop North (Lancashire), we had rubbish snow flurries which didn't settle....

scarecrow Cut the toes off of her shoes to save money???? Would have murdered him then and there. there's not wasting money, and then there's being a meanie miser...

ChairmanWow OMG for the meter-readings! DH did attempt to moan about heating a while ago, but then reminded him am stuck here all day, and if I went out would spend more money....

Somewhere When not moaning about heating, DH so useless with money, I do everything financial. If I send him to shop, he spends 3 x what I do, for nothing...it's all biscuits.

That was the flowerbed Floradix built. That I had planted with bulbs and plants, that they ripped up. I have the flowerbed back as of today, and then discovered that they had replaced the meter so badly that it stuck an inch out of the meter cupboard. That, and the rudeness I got from the workmen (mere woman stuff), I was even accused of inventing the flowerbed, meant I did complain, and I am getting compensation, apparently.... though could have done without it!

Sparkly Oh yes I did, I complained like billy-o. I was Mrs Angry on the phone!

Sorry to hear you and DH not talking properly still...

Scarecrow I found herbs in my mother's cupboard c 1972. They were priced at 3p and 4p....and she STILL maintained they 'would be fine'. Mind you, she is the world's worst cook.

You are so lucky they were that supportive at work. Mine gave me a breakdown, then made it worse and worse until they sacked me, then still didn't stop... The nightmare is still going on six years down the line.... I used to be like you, before that.

ChairmanWow Love the 'nobody was complimented for being a tight arse!'
Your mum sounds more a queen of the euphemism than mine!!

Knicky How did the appt go?

Waves hello and welcome to Notsoold!!!!!

Hello to NorthernWoman and fingers crossed!!!

Knicky Fingers crossed you won't need next appt!

Notsoold Know what you mean about the insomnia!

Me...what's been happening? Apart from the National Stupid Grid? (Grrr!) Had MIL over for tea on Sunday, with SIL and her son...then MIL back Monday for tea, as she ended up in A & E with a cut finger minutes after we dropped her home.

Have been looking for things for LO's room.

In other news, my mother ACTUALLY spoke to me on Saturday. So, I bit the bullet and asked 'So, did Dad tell you I'm pregnant?' to which she replied 'Oh yes', in a blase way...

So told her was a boy and when due, and all she could say was how I was copying her by having a last-minute baby (all roads lead back to her...). She didn't sound pleased, but she wasn't quite as unpleasant as usual....

Hello everyone! I was on this thread briefly back in November/December last year, before having a mc in January.

I just got a BFP again this morning

I don't want to tempt fate, so I think I will be mostly lurking here for a while - but you were all so lovely, and I just need to tell people at the moment! Hopefully, I'll be on here for at least the next 8 months. I still recognise quite a few names, and a few other graduates from the 40+ concenption thread.

Oh jbrd just wonderful to see you back on here. on your BFP. Understand why you may wish to just lurk for now, please feel free. Hope that it's a sticky bean and you have a wonderfully uneventful pregnancy.
notsoold I do think insomnia is another symptom of pregnancy - something to do with hormones going a bit frantic. I had that in my pregnancy with my DD. Thankfully, not so much this time round, but I feel for you, because it's dreadfully exhausting.
chairman a meany indeed for not doing the sweep. Will definitely be asking for a sweep at next Weds appointment. In the meantime, still waiting for signs and haven't had flipping any. Not one.

badmissm your mum??? Copying her??? FGS!! What a ridiculous thing to say! As for me, yes I'll be going all the way to induction at the 42nd week if the little one doesn't make an appearance before then. Crossing fingers it won't come to that....

Oh jbrd just wonderful to see you back on here. on your BFP. Understand why you may wish to just lurk for now, please feel free. Hope that it's a sticky bean and you have a wonderfully uneventful pregnancy.
notsoold I do think insomnia is another symptom of pregnancy - something to do with hormones going a bit frantic. I had that in my pregnancy with my DD. Thankfully, not so much this time round, but I feel for you, because it's dreadfully exhausting.
chairman a meany indeed for not doing the sweep. Will definitely be asking for a sweep at next Weds appointment. In the meantime, still waiting for signs and haven't had flipping any. Not one.

badmissm your mum??? Copying her??? FGS!! What a ridiculous thing to say! As for me, yes I'll be going all the way to induction at the 42nd week if the little one doesn't make an appearance before then. Crossing fingers it won't come to that....

JBrd, I remember you well: fabulous news and all things crossed. Do keep peeking around the corner and come in properly when you feel ready. Am so pleased for you

AFM had two hour emotional wrangle at hospital and now have a date...Wed 17 April. Am not quite up to explaining (not that it v interesting except for lessons learned for others here) but will return later/ soon.
Until then I just need you all to give me a stern talking to about how ridiculous I'm being - am suddenly really worried "Wednesday's child is full of woe" and my blameless LO will inherit my depression (though I can recommend her good meds now ). Will pop in later to be chastised for hormonal silliness
Sx

scarecrow that rhyme is old churchy patriarchal propaganda.

I'm afraid I'm a weds child which isn't the perfect rebuttal but I'm not notoriously dour and despite being a bit bonkers I'm not obviously depressed - even doctors have said that. Whereas my middle sis who is a thurs child is spectacularly full of woe. my older sis who is a Sunday child is actually rather blithe and bonny and gay but that's prob just coincidence... I looked them all up!

So if you keep worrying about that one. Also my ds a weds child and you should compare him to my two nephews who are more or less same age As him - he is eAsily the jolliest.

There.

jbrds absolutely brilliant hon. Rooting for you all the way that this is sticky and boring!

knicky my god they won't giv u a sweep? Meanies hardly does that justice. As someone who doesn't enjoy pg I really feel for you. I hope it comes swiftly and with an irresistible force. I think there is a good chance that will happen as you had a rather successful vb before and your bod is clearly up to it xxxx

Sorry, blasted phone is posting twice at the moment. It's a glitch between BlackBerry and Mumsnet.

scarecrow completely agree with somewhere. not a jot of truth in that poem. Don't believe it. Load of BS. Think it's fab you've got a date though. You've got a date to work towards - just make sure you grab some you time please. I also meant to say a couple of posts ago, news of your breakdown didn't embarrass at all. Just brought an overwhelming feeling of how awful for you and massive sympathy. But also, it seems to me, that you're doing a most fantastic job of your career and being a mum to your wonderful daughter. Just fantastic to see your recovery from what must have been such a dark time.
Thanks somewhere for the cheering on. I hope my waters will suddenly break (still preferably in John Lewis ). I'd rather it didn't go all the way to induction, but as we know I'm not sure we have much choice in how things happen if there's no CS planned. I've got the opportunity to take DD to a 4th birthday party on Sunday. Just don't want to be centre of attention - almost impossible with my beach ball bump. Plus, as soon as you tell people how close you are to your due date, they seem to start looking for any signs of you making any sort of wincing type noise or face....

Sorry, blasted phone is posting twice at the moment. It's a glitch between BlackBerry and Mumsnet.

scarecrow completely agree with somewhere. not a jot of truth in that poem. Don't believe it. Load of BS. Think it's fab you've got a date though. You've got a date to work towards - just make sure you grab some you time please. I also meant to say a couple of posts ago, news of your breakdown didn't embarrass at all. Just brought an overwhelming feeling of how awful for you and massive sympathy. But also, it seems to me, that you're doing a most fantastic job of your career and being a mum to your wonderful daughter. Just fantastic to see your recovery from what must have been such a dark time.
Thanks somewhere for the cheering on. I hope my waters will suddenly break (still preferably in John Lewis ). I'd rather it didn't go all the way to induction, but as we know I'm not sure we have much choice in how things happen if there's no CS planned. I've got the opportunity to take DD to a 4th birthday party on Sunday. Just don't want to be centre of attention - almost impossible with my beach ball bump. Plus, as soon as you tell people how close you are to your due date, they seem to start looking for any signs of you making any sort of wincing type noise or face....

Evening all. Still here! It's DS's birthday today do have had a crazy hectic day. Spent 2 1/2 hours putting together a wooden kitchen this morning. Soul (and body) destroying! Then cleaning the house and sorting out food for his birthday tea. I'm so worn out! Hoping nothing happens tonight. I don't think I've got the energy.

jbrds congratulations. Hope everything goes smoothly for you.

scarecrow I think it's natural when you've had depression/anxiety to worry about passing it on. As I said above I've had depression, plus DH suffers anxiety. We talk about how we'd deal with it if it arises, but given the estimated 1 in 4 who suffer some kind of MH problem it can happen regardless of parents. We will try to ensure DC are comfortable discussing it and try to be supportive parents. Guess that's all you can do.

knicky I can't believe you're not getting anything, even after the foot lady. Don't read too much into it though. I've been getting period-type pains for a week now with nothing to show for it. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Maybe you'll have a lovely quick labour!

I've got MW on Monday and will be begging for a sweep - the more vigorous the better! Last time I had one at term +8 which left me walking like John Wayne all day. Labour started 2 days later though...

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone. I'm so shattered. Time to flop in front of TV (avoiding Comic Relief) and snooze.

Hope one of us manages to produce a baby this weekend. 'Bout time!

Evening. Still here too... Absolutely knackered - there's a reason why people do this at 20... No real signs of movement, despite twiddling and even expressing - I actually got 0.6ml (yes, you read that right) yesterday which is residing proudly in the freezer. Whoop dee doo. Also trying acupressure on thumbs (can't reach feet/ankles..) and it all seems to make downstairs twinge so we shall see. I don't have any more appointments before phoning on Thursday morning to see if they've got a bed for my booked induction. I am far too controlling to leave to leave it there, of course, so I will see if I ought to have a sweep or anything to try and kick things off before we start with the chemicals etc on 21st.
Scarecrow: another here with history of depression. I have been a million times better ever since DS, who only came into being after v effective counselling ( and shagging with DP, of course). The counselling was about mindfulness, in the main, (and despite earlier part of post) I found that accepting that we CAN'T control everything, and can just accept where we are, freed me to even consider relationships and conception and it's helped with my concerns about DS (and now DD) and whether they will inherit my melancholy.. if they do, then there is help, support and if they can find the happiness that I have got from DS at any point, then the other shit is maybe just the payment. Sorry, I am rambling - too tired to think, let alone pontificate, so I'm off.

Is it lunchtime yet?

Zzzzzzz