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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

981 replies

StateofConfusion · 22/04/2012 16:00

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

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bonzo77 · 25/04/2012 22:25

state pleased (in an ironic sense) that you have a UTI rather than anything else. Drink as much as you can stomach as it dilutes the bugs and if nothing else makes it sting less when you wee.

noclue other people's new borns were and are bittersweet for me, but the ones that are unmitigated sweetness are the ones that are even more precious for having followed miscarriage, still birth or fertility treatment. Friends of mine are considering their 8th (the previous 7 comprise 4 live babies, one still birth and 2 miscarriages). They really have had both the worst luck and the greatest blessings.

Tonight I don't feel very pregnant, but it's so early, AF not even due till tomorrow. Will have to POAS the second I wake up in the morning. I'm mad aren't I?

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 25/04/2012 22:45

bonzo, no sting just heat, but i am drinking alot now as i realised the past week i havent as i got fed up of multiple night time trips to the toilet!

i have days were i dont feel pregnant, again i think its the loss of innocence as its not a feeling ive felt before.

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Original poster
StateofConfusion · 25/04/2012 22:49

also bonzo, ive been dying to ask where you nn comes from, my godmothers cat was called Bonzo dog doo dah cat after a band or something (can you tell i cant sleep much these days haha)

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bonzo77 · 26/04/2012 13:37

state I think bono was a cartoon dog, in comics, mid 20th century. Our first cat when I was a child was called bonzo and I often use pets' names for tinterweb user names.

WLmum · 26/04/2012 14:06

There was a band called the bonzo do dah dog band (or something along those lines).

Gp apt is because she can get me in the system for 12 week scan without lots of questions, forms ', bloods and wee samples. I saw the midwife last time and then felt that it really had made things worse to have a set of notes etc when it all went wrong. Midwife assistant even made a 'joke' about hoping that her taking the bloods wasn't 'all for nothing'. Not surprising that I'd rather avoid that kind of contact until I know it's all ok.

Sounds like u have some good pg symptoms, I'm not sure what I've got other than a few twinges and sore-ish boobs. I keep talking myself in and out of having symptoms. Rather a lot of over analysing going on here!

WLmum · 26/04/2012 14:29

Oh yuk, just had to phone and cancel something we had booked because it won't be appropriate if I'm pg but feels v presumptuous and a bit like jinxing it. Arghhh!

bonzo77 · 26/04/2012 14:45

Angry at your midwife's " joke". Ha-fucking-ha.

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 26/04/2012 15:24

What bonzo said, how awful Angry

I felt like that it was all for nothing after having bloods done last time, I had a bruise bigger than my fist and moving my arm was agony of weeks.

I'm feeling rather positive today!

Oh if any of you need to get folic acid, asda are giving it away at there chemists for the baby event. I got some as I take it the whole way through --cuz I hate brocoli hehe--

From looking around here and other forums it seems when we fall pg quickly after a mc our body is already prepared so syptoms can be less severe, I have very mild nausea, achey boobs are on and off. I'm thinking myself lucky and trying to relax :)

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bonzo77 · 26/04/2012 15:40

How annoying. I have loads of folic because DH gets a generous staff discount on such things.

Today my symptoms are very mild.maybe I'm imagining them. And the daily test was barely darker, or probably the same as yesterday. Otoh no pms either. I def had no early symptoms with my mc pg, and with DS I can't remember, though they had started befor I tested, which was about 6/8 weeks I think. Ffs, I'm swinging wildly between optimism, pessimism and out right denial.

WLmum · 26/04/2012 17:18

Feel just the same bonzo

Don't get me started on some of the things health 'professionals' have said to me over the years in fertility related settings, some hardcore ranting could be unleashed!

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 26/04/2012 17:26

bonzo I feel exactly the same some days, I've kept my bfp and the lack of af is a reminder I'm not 'wishing' this pregnancy, it is happening. Fwiw with ds I didn't discover him for 12wks, no symptoms, didn't even notice af was missed and he's very much here lol.

Even if you don't need the folic it came with a good pregnancy book, even though I have two dc I found some good info!

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WLmum · 26/04/2012 17:50

Good news is that I phoned epu today and asked if I could self refer for an early scan. They said not unless experiencing a problem but that any woman that has had 2 mc can be referred for early scan without issue by gp. At least I won't have to beg/lie.

SwanseaMum · 26/04/2012 19:58

seriously just tell them you are having abdo. pain which in fact quiet normal but they do like to check.

booked with the mw today bless her she is so busy she fitted me in, she isn't ment to be my mw but I am really lucky she agreed. :) She is absolutely fab which is a nice change cause I have had some actual bitches.
finally starting to get over that bug its nearly crippled me haven't eaten since Sat and barely drank anything either, if you know anyone who has it stay well clear.

WLmum · 26/04/2012 20:41

Good work Swansea glad to hear u r feeling better.

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 26/04/2012 20:55

glad your feeling better swansea. My midwives with dd and ds were not the nicest, the ones who visited me after i had them were lovely, it was just when i was pregnant, i was quite young so it was probably that My midwife i had with the pregnancy i had a mmc was soo soo nice, im a --fat cow-- a larger lady and she wasn't all doom and gloom actually cared about me and my choices/feelings and was lovely when dd came in from the park with daddy screeching and needed me briefly. I really wish i remember her name so i could ask for her again.

let us know how the quest for a scan goes WL

im feeling really upbeat today, actually caught myself in the baby section on the ikea website Shock and spoke names with my mum! I've been concentrating on a good outcome each time i get stressed i close my eyes and imagine how i want things to pan out and so far its helping (sounds a bit lame but oh well) Long may the positivity continue!

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SwanseaMum · 27/04/2012 14:05

:) guess what girls 11 weeks today!! mw called round to take my bp and finish my booking, she also offered to try find the heart beat for me, she told me not to feel disheartened if she couldn't find it cause they don't usually offer to look this early but after a couple mins she did and I am so happy. Gotten further than last time maybe I can start enjoying this pregnancy now xx

bonzo77 · 27/04/2012 14:36

swansea wow.... 11 weeks. Amazing that you heard the heartbeat, I didn't think they would normally try to find it till about 16 weeks. It must have been an anxious couple of minutes while the mw looked for it though. How lovely to start enjoying being pregnant.

state I had pretty ropey antenatal mw care. they just seemed so blase about it, which worried me even though I'd not yet had a mc at that stage. At my hospital all the antenatal care is at the hospital, you are unlikely to see the same one twice. it was all a bit of a waste of time really. Once i had a headache and they admitted me, worried about PE, I was less than 6 months and had low BP. Wasted a whole week in hospital getting no sleep, worried sick and not being paid because I am self employed. Then they failed to pick up me being too small, it was picked up first by an OOH dr who I went to after a tumble, and then my GP who sent me straight in to see a consultant. Anyway, I'll almost certainly be consultant lead this time, due to DS's low birth weight.

Nothing to report here really, POAS again this morning, getting darker. Not much in the way of symptoms. Though did silently flip out and wonder how some arse could dare to eat a pregnant lady's fish fingers, which is what I wanted in my sandwich for lunch. Of course the arse would have been my DS, but the point is that that was a pregnant sort of over reaction, and I thought of myself a pregnant.

WLmum · 27/04/2012 18:14

Swansea that's amazing! Really well done for getting this far, and yay for your mw, if only they were all like that. Fingers crossed that u can now relax and enjoy a wonderful pregnancy. You must have a scan coming up?

I've got sore tingly boobs which I'm loving and even allowed myself a morsel of excitement today. On the whole am remaining cautious though. Am really aware of trying to keep DH from getting carried away, he was equally devastated last time and even said if this one goes wrong he wants the snip cos he doesn't think he could go through it again. I'm certain that's not true and I would never want him to have something so final, but does remind me that he is emotionally invested too.

nocluenoclueatall · 27/04/2012 18:43

Yay Swansea, wonderful news... Relax now, get your feet up girl!

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 27/04/2012 19:27

swansea that's fantastic :) and must be so reassuring!

bonzo they sound seriously crapola. My ds had a low birth weight, my arse consultant didn't seem to understand it was because despite my loud protests they'd disagreed my dd from day one, so when he was born 3wks early for there date he was even earlier for mine, hence his difficulties at birth! But hey its only my body what would I have known Hmm here's hoping things are better this time in ALL ways!

WL I'm totally with you on celebrating symptoms, i smile like a loon at every one!

My dp has remained quiet over the subject of what if it happens again, the pregnancy that ended in mmc was a huge suprise and not planned at all. I always longed for another but dd and ds made me content. However having a life snatched away from us changed our feelings completely, and now there is a hole in our family that can't be filled but needs a baby shaped plaster over it :)

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welliesandpyjamas · 27/04/2012 20:57

I heard my baby's hertbeat for the first time today Grin sob! It was amazing, made me blub with relief! Lovely strong heartbeat :)

Met my midwife for the first time, nice and friendly. Only three weeks until the 20 week scan now. Allowing myself to believe it's real, I think... :)

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 27/04/2012 22:27

thats wonderful wellies i am a bit Envy at you being near 20wks, that seems soooo far away, I'm 7 wks today, and have only known a week, its been the longest week of my life!

I've spent 90% of it inspecting knickers and toilet paper!

glad you have a nice mw it makes all the difference.

Long may the positive stories here continue!

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bonzo77 · 28/04/2012 09:00

morning ladies. how are the symptoms?

Original poster
StateofConfusion · 28/04/2012 09:19

Morning Bonzo,

Main symptom seems to be really achey norks, I feel like I've been beaten up and bruised! Very mild nausea but breakfast usually settles it. Had very weird dreams also...

I'm taking my mum to collect her new puppy today, and I am SO excited, we were devastated when our family dog died late 2010 but its taken some time for her to feel ready for a new one.

Hope your ok today, enjoy your weekend. X

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bonzo77 · 28/04/2012 10:02

oooh, new puppy. I had promised myself one if I'd not got pg by my mc due date!