Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

[StateofConfusion]

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

I keep looking at the unused test in the bathroom and thinking, shall I do another?? But then if the line wasn't perfect I'd obsess over it. I have midwife on the 4th, going to beg for an early scan!

Hi - I had a similar situation a couple of years ago. I already had one child and then I had a MMC at 14 weeks. It was similar in terms of the fact the pregnancy test was very weak to begin with and I think I did about 10 tests, each time it still looked weak. I had an early scan saw the heart beat. Dr reassured me everything was fine ... then at 14 weeks I said to my DH on the way to the scan, "I feel nervous, I think something isn't right", sadly I was correct. I went on to miscarry naturally. It was horrible.
However, 6 weeks later I became pregnant again and this time it was a very strong line on the pregnancy test. My symptoms were mild initially and to be honest I don't think it was until the 20 week scan I became more relaxed.
I hope it works out for you this time, there really isn't any reason it shouldn't, that's what I kept telling myself.

Thanks upside I've kept the test on the bathroom shelf as that bright strong line is reasuring.

I just have to keep hoping.

I'm so paranoid, I keep seeing lone magpies, and declined some lucky heather today. Come on rational brain, you can do this!

Omg I saw a lone magpie today and nearly cried!

But I saw two before my miscariage, so for that reason alone I think we'll ignore them.

I'm fresh out of rational thoughts though so I'm no help there!

Come on, come on, the only reason you see lots of single magpies at this time of year is because Mrs Magpie is sitting on her eggs :) and eggs = babies = positive vibes for us!

wellies I love you! The voice of reason amongst my madness

Having discomfort around the bottom of my abdomen But I've eaten a big dinner and my section scar often makes the skin flare up. So I'm snuggled up with a huge v pillow and thinking positive.

lol about the magpies, see them all the time don't put much stock in them myself.

I am so ill its unbelievable, my ds2 picked up a sickness bug from nursery and has now given it to me :( I feel completely rotten on to of the ms this is my week of hell. g2g xx

Get well soon swansea x x x

State just wanted to let you know I went to see the midwife today (might do a post about that a bit later on if I can find the energy - she was a shocker) and she told me that she couldn't get me an early reassurance scan, only my GP or the EPU could do that. I called the EPU I went to in December but of course they didn't call back - not surprising really since they were truely aweful as well. Not having much luck with the professionals actually, now that I'm thinking about it but that's a whole other thread. Just wanted to let you know - I know every health care trust is probably different but if might be worth seeing your GP?

Thanks for letting me know noclue sorry your hcps are being so unhelpful.

I'm seriously freaking out tonight lots of aches around my hips, lower abdomen and back (although back and hip pain not unusual for me) my legs ache also, I'm hoping its due to a busy day but right now I'm terrified.

We paid for a private scan which we seriously could not afford but had to have done for the peace of mind. It was worth it, believe me!

I went private with dd and it was worth every penny, unfortunatly this time there's no way we can budget one in, we'd took this month off ttc as dp is off work for 3 months for 3 operations) and due to ops (knee and hip) we had to change cars its all complicated and stupid, typically we got a bfp there's no issues with financially providing for a baby as we have everything, just not extras, and I'm only 6+3 maybe less as cycles a bit off since mmc. I need to distract myself and rest.

I could have written this..can you hold my hand too pls! Currently 10wks +3, had an early scan at 8 weeks, saw heartbeat, but still hasn't reassured me. Lost our first at 17 weeks mmc on May 27th last year. Took 8 months to get pg again (i'm 38) Booking in appt isn't until 12 weeks 3 days, they won't do it any earlier, and then the scan will be at least 2 weeks after that. Not sure mentally I can manage until then for another scan. Had horrific morning sickness since week 5, really not a happy bunny! Should be delighted and enjoying pg, but I think once you've lost one, you can't relax.

Hi manners. So sorry to hear about yr mc, must have been dreadful. Yay for pg now though, and for morning sickness - surely that means hormones a-go-go?

state really hope it's just all the hormones making u feel achey. Fingers crossed

Love the magpie explanation wellies. Oddly I did google it earlier to see if I could get that kind of answer, I didn't, therefore u are officially better than google!

I have tried to make an apt a couple of times with a gp I like but so far no apts. Will keep trying.

itdoesnt so sorry your joining us here but congratulations also its scary as hell isnt it, someone told me its like loosing your innocence, thats exactly how i feel, today our local supermarket had pregnancy packs being given away folic acid, mini toiletries and magazines, dp went to get me one and i couldnt let him.

wl ive walked alot today and im shattered so im hoping a good nights sleep with all my v pillows will help

my drs are rubbish, its an answer phone system for apps, so basically may as well not bother!

I am doing my nut here. faint BFP yesterday, well 2 actually as did 2 tests. 10 dpo, 2 days before AF due. Have has some nausea but just worried sick. Had mmc 19/12/11 and ERPC 5/1/12. 4 cycles later here I am. Had another slightly stronger BFP this morning but really stressing because it's still pretty faint, though it is early and it is an Internet cheapy strip. Also because out of sheer habit I took my temp this morning and my temp has dipped, though still above coverline. My symptoms are stronger than in the mmc pregnancy, in fact feel much like with DS. But worried about the light BFP and the temp thing. Someone help me pull my shit together. I'm too worried to even sort out a self referral to the hospital which I really must if I want a booking appt by 12 weeks.

bonzo the fact that todays line was darker, even slightly is GOOD. Book in, do it, I'm of the school of thought that then if something goes wrong I have support.

I'm still freaking out, I've had stomache ache since last night, its NOT painful, I can just feel something, like my tummy is being pressed out? Anyone?

hi bonzo nice to c you on a positive thread :) congrats hun!! hopefully there will be more of us on here before long x

WLmum better than google? Fab! I knew I was the fount of all knowledge, I just need to keep trying to convince DH that it's true

I went to bed a bit paranoid last night, feeling a sort of faint pain and heaviness down there....was well relieved to find it was trapped wind But the fear always gets priority before logic!

state how's the tum? Did you try water and fybogel?

On constant knicker watch here. Have discovered the hungrier I am the sicker I feel. So not really eating. Because feeling sick = feeling pregnant . I'm sure that will change!

Welcome Bonzo. We'll hold your hand if you hold ours! It's good news, keep telling yourself that. As State says, it's like losing your innocence, having a MC (especially a MMC, there's something especially cruel about carrying a baby that you know won't make it ) but sooooo many people have been through this and brought perfectly healthy babies into the world afterwards. Fingers crossed we all will too - we probably will actually. It's all in our favour. By the way, I met a new friend when I was mid MMC in December. She was feeding her tiny baby in a coffee shop and it was so painful to see her with her perfect newborn when I had lost mine, but somehow we made conversation and have become firm friends. She told me last week that she had lost 3 pregnancies before having him... so sad but shows there's hope. Really. We mustn't give up on the little beans yet! Chances are they're going to be just fine.

noclue - like your words of wisdom. Sad for your friend but does give hope. I just keep telling myself healthy dc1, mc, healthy dc2, mmc, it's dcs turn. Can't get dr apt with gp I like for over 3 weeks... Can I bear to wait that long and will that mean I'm not in the system in time for 12 week scan? Hmmmm

losing your innocence....that is SUCH a good way of explaining things...
thanks all and hello :)

WL i didnt bother with a GP, just got the local midwife number and called direct and asked to book in, they took details and are visiting on the 4th. Here there is no point visiting the GP he just says congrats and hands you a leaflet.

bonzo the tum issues are likely to be a uti but also as that means jellybean is ok! gotta call the docs tomorrow.

noclue that is lovely, i do hope and pray (despite never being religious before having children ive begged and made bargains with the big man upstairs lol) all our beans stick and grow to be beautiful healthy babys!

how is everyone this evening! i have mild nausea and have gagged a couple of times which sadly pleases me alot!! And crikey NO ONE go near my boobs picked dd up out of the car asleep this evening and was wincing carrying her into the house!