Pregnant after a miscariage, totally terrified, reasurance and hand holding needed.

[StateofConfusion]

I had a mmc in December, went for a scan at almost 14wks and there was no heartbeat, it was utterly heartbreaking.

Had an erpc and got back to ttc after christmas.

Got a BFP on friday, for 5minutes i was so happy my face hurt from smiling then fear hit me straight in the face, and I've felt uneasy since.

I'm achey/dull cramps at the bottom of my stomach/around my previous c-section scars, which i remember from being pregnant with dd, and now I've 2 scars, my youngest is 3.5yo.

However this terrifies me, I've always had horrendous nausea with pregnancy, and this time, its mild, occasional sick feeling.

I know im obsessing and reading into everything, theres no reason for this pregnancy not to be sucessful but i cant relax.

Anyone else been there who can reasure me, or even if you've not and had similar symptoms.

Thanks.

There allowed in here noclue xxx

Hi ladies and welcome to new ladies. Hand holding helps :)

So this is it...my old due date, 4th May...and do you know what...I feel ok after all. Last night I had a big cry and lots of hugs with DH and I think that helped a lot, to just accept and be ok. And I'm really glad that I feel ok and that I'm not going to spend the day all maudlin, because I won't ever forget the baby we lost, we'll just always remember him/her and accept he/she just wasn't quite ok and couldn't make it.

And although we still can't quite allow ourselves to be anything other than low key about this pregnancy, we both know it is very exciting and lovely and the day will come when we feel we can talk about names and imagine a time when baby is here. One day, hopefully soon, but not quite yet

I had miscarriage jan 1st at 11 weeks the test was faint and I had a feeling it wasnt right I didn't want to tell anyone and with my previous 2 pregnancys I couldn't wait to, I'm pregnant again will be 12 weeks Monday, I had scan at 7 weeks and saw heartbeat and hospital made sure my hormone level was rising to put me at ease but it doesn't stop u worrying, I didn't have a bad feeling this time and hoping that continues, try to relax and enjoy hope it all goes well for u

sussy sorry for your loss. I definitely remember feeling a bit disconnected with my last pregnancy. It's all part of my theory that your body somehow knows and tries to protect you. A friend had a still birth, she had been rather dismissive of the whole pregnancy from day one.

wellies important to mark today. I think I will feel a certain sense of closure when mine comes round. Final proof that it wasn't meant to be.

state, I went into my scan with the mmc fairly certain it was bad news. Getting confirmation was heartbreaking, in the same way my break up with my ex was, even though I knew it was coming and was unchangeable and for the best. And yes, I feel more positive this time round, DH and I have even discussed names, and realised that my due date is probably exactly when DS will start nursery. Not great timing!

So bizarrely I now have 3 (!) scans booked. One at 7 weeks (a fortnight today) in EPU, one at 8+4 weeks privately and as of today one at 12+5 at the hospital where I intend to have the baby if we get that far. I think I might now cancel the private one. If there is anything to worry about at the 7wk scan they will get me back, and if not I can save £75. Oh, and I also have a midwife appointment for 10+3. Which is weird because the last 2 times I had my booking appointment the same day as my scan. Are they seeing me early because I have had a mc and they are trying to be reassuring? Surely not! Sympathy and holistic care on the NHS, seems unlikely.

Well I've just seen the midwife she was nice, and reasuring about the cramps I've had, saying as this is pregnancy no.5 (only 2dcs though) its to be expected.

Scan books for 30th May so I'm happy.

sussy and bonzo that's exactly how I felt with my mmc, didn't tell anyone and this sense of impending doom, didn't take away the shock but I still almost expected it. We've decided if we have a girl she will be called Lily Hope, Lily is after my Grandma who passed away late 2010, and Hope because we bloody well need some haha, and dds middle name is grace, I know a bit sweet and but this baby is my hope for something better. I've had a thoroughly horrible two years and this is my fresh start.

Cannot wait for my scan.

wellies hope today isn't too hard for you. It is important to allow yourself to think about the ones that didn't make it. We manage to move on but they will always have been a part of us. My mmc due date passed by last year, the actual day I found quite surreal but I did find it hard when friends had their babies around the same time, none of them know about the mmc because we hadn't told anyone I was pg then of course I didn't want to scare them or make it awkward.

state so glad yr mw was nice and that you have a scan date. Actually I'm jealous of all you with dates and appointments! My dr apt is not for another week and a half, by which time I'll be 8.5 weeks (fingers crossed). I really hope that a scan will follow soon after. Apts at my drs are so ridiculously hard to get, and I decided it was worth waiting an extra couple of days to see the dr I like and who I know will be sympathetic.

I'm still swinging between feeling positive and that I'm just waiting to be told that it's all gone wrong again. I've def been feeling a bit off colour today and had a (very) brief afternoon nap today which is good.

WL I'm 8wks today and got my scan date in the post an hour before mw arrived! I've never had one come through so quick.

I'm also swinging from positive to negative, but on a brighter note I feel sick and I've been gagging at strong smells, hurrah, its like a midwife visit has kicked me into pregnancy :)

Also on the way to and from places today I saw a few single magpies cue the internal panic, then I saw 2 seperate pairs and a trio! So stupidly that's cheered me up.

Hope your ok wellies xx

Now that's service! I'm not sure the service here talks to each other/itself quite that well, 2 days after dc1 was born the mw called round to give me a sweep!

Where I used to live 20mins away, same hospital, diff midwife team it was a bit slow and no one knew what the next was doing this team, I have an assigned midwife, ill see her the whole way through which is great! And they're really on the ball with apointments etc which is great.

A sweep after giving birth though, that's --a bit funny-- poor comunication!

It was quite funny

That's great that you have an assigned mw, gives you a chance to build a relationship. I saw same one all the way through with dc1 but always diff with dc2.
It's cold here so am off to snuggle under my lovely duvet. Wishing you all a restful night. X

I've never had an assigned mw before, so I'm glad. However she did make a few comments about vbac, and I have no plans to even consider it, I will be having an elcs after ds and dds issues and 2 seperate scars to my uterus I was told after dd it was advised to stay on the elcs path, so anything other will throw me into a mega panic.

Good move. I had nightmare birth with dc1 and elcs with dc2, so much better all round, including recovery time. It makes me feel sad and there'll always be a part of me that wants to don it naturally but safety first kids. I guess mw maybe has to mention it for targets and all that but if you're not comfortable with the idea then she should respect that.

if i get far enough I shall fight tooth and nail for an elcs. There is a family history (my mum and hers) of not going into spontaneous labour even when very over due. My mother was induced with all 3 of us (my youngest brother was 19 days late). My grandmother had 2 CS in the 1950's for the same sort of reasons. I had 4 doses of gel and 12 hours on a drip with DS at 38+5, days later just a few contractions and no more dilated that when I was admitted. I am so pessimistic about my chances of a vbac that self-fulfilling prophesy will kick in and I will end up with an emcs. I shall go armed to the relevent appointment with all my research on stats and guidelines, as well as own preferences and reasons for.

Glad I'm not alone on that either!

I do have a high BMI so that counts against me, but my son wouldn't have survived birth and my brother was still born in 2010 after they cancelled my mums elcs saying they'd prefer a vbac, he should have been born two days before he died :( I will fight and fight for a safe delivery for this bean, if they fight long enough to be my baby ill fight for them.

When I mentioned the still birth vbac conversation disapered, so fingers crossed.

I can't decide what to do with this one had a natural birth with ds1 it was horrific and he was in.distress, I had a cs with ds2. I don't know if I wanna try for vbac this time or asks for an elcs. I think I will wait to see that the consultant says and make a choice based on risk to the baby and me :s talk about confused xx

state I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. That must have been such an awful time.

I'm def feeling pg now but am scared to let myself believe it in case it all goes wrong and then it will make me wonder if any of it was real.

Thanks WL he would have been 2 next saturday, were a close family and were doing ok now, my mums stronger and more herself, and has a puppy BUT it adds to my anxiety over a vbac.

Sometimes I feel pregnant, sometimes I don't, sometimes I'm scared, but mostly I'm not, now I speak about the baby and I make plans, I can't ignore it, I did last time and that didn't end well, I'm doing everything different this time.

Sorry to hear about your brother, stateof. I don't think there's much that is sadder than the loss of a little baby :(

I was expecting to have to battle for an elcs this time, after two emcs, but no, vbac wasn't even mentioned at all. Not by my gp, my consultant, or my midwife The consultant read out my guesome notes from the second cs to me and they were very thorough (!) so I guess there was no debate that a third would have to be cs too! So I hope thar gives you hope that it won't be too much of a fight.

Last night we allowed ourselves to talk very briefly about names which was nice.

That's a relief to hear wellies it sounds pathetic but I'm terrified at the thought of a vbac, I was induced 6x with ds and got no where, I've never had a contraction so its very much fear of the unknow, and having been told ds wouldn't have survived a vaginal birth I'm sure in my decision to stay elcs. Fingers crossed.

state so sorry to hear about your brother. How terribly sad. Reading your post has made me think about getting a CS next time. DS's birth was a little hairy to say the least. I think so much guff is talked about the importance of "natural" births, quite often by people who've either never given birth, or have at least never had a complicated vaginal delivery...

Anyway. Good news from me. Had our scan this morning and saw a gorgeous, tiny little person, measuring 6.2 weeks (less than 7.4 than I calculated, but the lovely sonographer reassured us that's totally normal, given that it's an imperfect guess at best so both estimates could be 5 days out. Makes sense.) with a great heart beat.

So so so so happy. Obviously, there's still a long way to go but I'm thinking positively about this now ... I think my little bean can make it!

Ah, very pleased and very happy for you, nocluenoclueatall :) :)

Excellent news noclue. :-)

That's wonderful noclue :)

3wks 4days until I get to my little jellybean. That sounds so long!

Thanks everyone. Best £95 I've ever spent (gulp). Trying to dispense with all negative thoughts for now and to enjoy as much of this pregnancy as possible, however long it lasts...

lovely lovely news noclue. I'm sure that I read that a good heart beat at this stage on a scan means that the odds are hugely hugely in your favour.

state 13 days for me...assuming I get that far.

Feeling very pregnant the last 24 hours, nauseous, eating weird stuff (emergency trip to mac donald's drive thru, now eating it in bed!), very very sore boobs. Yay!