40+ mums to be

[littleredmonkey]

Hi
I am 43 and expecting my first and these next several months are going to be a challenge so hoping to meet others in the same situation.
I can believe I have a baby growing in my dusty cobweb ridden womb. It has taken me 3 weeks to get my head around the whole thing and it is still worried about the future and being able to cope. My partner is fab and great helping me with the ups and downs of baby hormones. Nothing beats hot sweats, night panics and freeze in the middle of tescos wondering our we doing the right thing. I feel better this week and got my head around things .
Any ladies who also need support or just to have a good moan every now and again. xx
Ps thinking about having a toilet built next to my bed to save time going to the loo quite a bit in the evenings!!

Hi there, im 42 this year and ive just found out i am about 5 weeks.

I am very very scared, very freaked out and am not telling any one in the world (only you all) becuase its a bit embarrasing and difficult for me.

Anyhoo, lets see what pans out this time.

Does anyone know when i should be harrasing my GP?

mrsnesbit welcome!

Why are you scared and embarrassed? Do you have a partner to tell? I am glad you have found us - i remember being a tad embarrassed and am still pretty scared, but it helps to know i am not alone

I think most GPs want you to contact the midwives directly - best call your surgery and ask what they think you should do.

Hey mrsnesbit
Hope you are ok? I know what you mean about being scared, when I found out I could not go to work for two days I was so ill with stress. I found out I was 6 weeks and went to the GP the next day as unsure what to do next. I spent the next three weeks shocked, night panics, lack of sleep not being able to cope with the situation. I could not believe how depressed I was. After much soul searching and getting my head around it I am ok now. Well still freak out at least once a day and think good god I cant do this.I kept thinking once I start showing people will think old bird with child gross!!! But I am sure when it does happen I will think what the hell. Shout out if you need some support this group of ladies are brillant.

Hello, dont be scared, I think you and all of us are very brave to face such a challenge .... Having kids is the most rewarding but also difficult mission, requires energy, loads, 24/7 tasks... So we should all be proud !!! Take your time, as LRM said and enjoy.
Zimbomaman, I am so jealous, my mum is in paris, i wish i could have her with me... Whereabout are you in France ? Is it your first baby in France ? I came back to paris to give birth to DS because of the horror stories one hears about labour ward in London.... I am French
Has anyone started buying baby equipment, cloth.... Have you started the nesting mode ?
Good night

Hpbp - I went into mother care and mama and papas and thought bugger what a lot of stuff. Never mind the mind blowing argos and tesco catalogue. It was mind blowing and I am sure most of it is not neccessary.
Started to think about the nursery room and what it will look like. It is my sewing room at the moment and is filled with soft toys and sock puppets that I make. So kiddie will have lots of one of toys and puppets. I can also make clothes if I get any time once it pops out !!!!
I was born in New Zealand and moved to Hong Kong when I was 2 and stayed till 17, been back since and love to travel. It will seem strange not to go somewhere this summer that requires a trip to heathrow, but hey ho I have other things to do this summer like Hpbp said nesting will commence.

mrsnesbit I know what you mean I felt a bit embarrassed at first but now I just joke about being the oldest mum to be in Britain (probably not true) and then people say 'oh don't be silly' and I feel a bit better. Husband and I joke that people will play father/grandfather or mother /grandmother when they see us with the baby in a few months time!

Hi, thanks for encouragement.
We had told everyone that we would be no longer trying for a baby, many reasons, but the easiest thing to tell everyone was my age.
We decided in January that we would give it one last go.(secretly dh & i are still desperate )

The reason I'm not telling any one and that i feel embarrassed is because i have had 6 mcs and i am dreading the embarrassment of having to tell people again when this all goes tits up.
Its like "enough already! Jeez"!

I usually go to my Gp early to get a good stock of strong painkillers in for when it all starts up, but this time it will be the last time.

SO i want to try it the normal way, that normal people with normal pregnancies do it.
Go to GP to tell them the news, and get advice about what i should be doing. Also i need a prescription for 5mg Folic acid so i need to go as i only have a weeks worth left....although this could all end before the end of the week, so i might just hang on till the end of next week, either way i will have to go anyway!

Anyway, thats my woeful tale. I am afraid that all i see is doom & gloom and always expect the worse.

Good luck ladies on this fine St Patrick's day!

Mrsn - I know the feeling. This is my 9th pregnancy, I have 1DD. Does this one feel different? I normally steel myself for the worst but this time I am bein mentally positive (like a crazy person) and ao far so good. It's so tough when you have experienced multiple losses and over 40 but you aren't on your own x

midgetm this one unfortunately has all the usual trade marks.
It does not feel different at all.

I do not have very much hope.

Oh crap. Got everything crossed for you x

Mrsnesbit we've got everything crossed this side of the Channel for you too!
Hpbp - we live in the suburbs west of Paris where housing (flats) cost the earth so going from the classic 2 parent, 2 children family to a family of 6 in the space of 2 years is really going to cost us in terms of living space! No doubt your darling maman will be over to see you as soon as you make the call! I had DD1 in the UK and the other 2 here. A much more positive experience here mainly because of the choice of doctor and clinic.

DH was woken up with a cup of tea and the news this morning! He's very happy but I can see his mind coming up with all the usual 'where are we all going to sleep' kind of questions. He also moaned about not being able to carry on having fun 'trying'... he is French afterall.

hello have lurked for a while, but was struck by the recent posts about multiple losses.

I'm 44 (last month) and have 1 DS, 3y10m, accidently conceived but very welcome. Started TTC#2 in June 09 when he turned 1. Have had 3MMCs around 12 weeks, and 2 early MC at 5 weeks since then. Am now 11 weeks today, and have had 3 early scans (last one yesterday). All looking ok so far.

But I TOTALLY get the worry and lack of belief that it could really work out ok. And for all of us in the extra stressful first 20 weeks I empathise with how you are feeling.

But it can and does happen. One day at a time. For today we are pregnant. :)

mrsnesbit there is hope, I ad 3 mc's and dh and I had given up and resigned ourselves to our ds and then hey presto I found myself up the duff in January. Totally unplanned and it took a while to get our heads around the news. Like you I was convinced that it would end in another mc and I spent the first 12 weeks looking for the signs that all was not well. Well to cut a long story short I went to the epu and they scanned me at 7 weeks and prescribed aspirin - apparently it helps in non specific mc cases like mine. And I'm still pregnant at 16wks, it's not all been plain sailing I've had to endure an amnio after bad NT results and I've got a huge fibroid that wasn't there before but I seem to have avoided a mc so far [said with fingers firmly crossed] So I want you to believe that it can be ok, ask to have low dose aspirin (75mg) or better still see if they will prescribe you clexane it's a wonder drug for recurrent mc's and most of all keep positive. I know how hard that can be but we are all here holding your hand and sending you positive thoughts xxx

Mrsn, have you found out why you had 6 mcs? I have been told that after 3 consecutive mcs, more exams would be carried out, to help keep the baby inside for example if the cervix is too wide some wire could be inserted and the mother to be would spend most ofthe pg in her bed but at least keep the baby as much as posible..... Re folic acid, you can get some over the counter, dont need a prescription and the sooner you take it the bettter, i had taken some almost 2 months before the +++, actually as soon as we decided to try for a second baby.
I am sure you can rely to a very close friend or your partner to speak about your mixed feelings at present, and you have us of course whenever you feel like a cry ! Or share some good news. I had 2 mcs myself, one at 4 weeks, the second at 10 weeks, the 3rd pg was successful at 39.... And this 4th happened in the 3rd month of trial.... Just before i turned 41. Anything can happen. Each newborn is a miracle.
I keep my fingers crossed. And keep faith, this time can be different. As Jollster said, enjoy one day at a time, today the baby is ok...

Mrsnesbit,
We are all thinking of you. Try and remain positive honey . xxxx

Hpbp 5mgs folic acid has to be prescribed, its not a bog standard dose.Its industrial strength lol. I have been on it since January, also been on asprin since Jan.

I have had every investigation at a re-occurant miscarriage specialist unit. All normal (as were dh's results)

They have no answers, no explanations and say i will continue to miscarry if i continue to ttc.

They prescribed hormone injections, asprin and high dose folic acid for my last pregnancy...it still ended in miscarriage.

They told me that they do not know why up to 80% of all miscarriages occur.

So, thanks for tips, i am doing it all and have been for months. Just need to tell someone how i am feeling as i cannot/have not told a soul in rl and wont be doing either.

Every single time i go to the loo, im looking for blood, every twinge i get, i think, here we go, i LOVE that jollster, the thought that right now, i AM pregnant

Sorry, i did not know that, i will keep my mouth shut !!! Good luck, will be sending lots of positive thoughts, let us know how it goes.... So frustrating not finding out why but if Mother Nature says so, there isnt a lot we can do. Hang on. :)

Hi Ladies
You re all inspirating and i luv reading your antics. I am only 4/5 weeks preggy and feeling exhausted today.

Im 46 and this is 3rd pregnacy.

Just wondered if anyone else has been referred to the 'early pregnancy unit'- as i was this week. I went to my GP with brown spotting which they said is old blood.

But the early scan was normal they said, but have to go back in 2 weeks for anonther scan.

Hey ladies
Thought I would share my shame with you all this evening and just before your tea. Firstly has anyone else found that they are constantly breaking wind. OMG I am shocking. If we blow out little clouds of blue smoke the whole of Lincoln would be in a fog this morning. Every bloody shop I went into, partner thinks it is sooooo funny and was happy to let others think it was him. Nothing like support eh . Then went to the gym and continued on in there, cross trainer using weights then a little jog on the tread mill. Then went for a swim. This is when I need to pee every what seemed like 5 minutes. Everyone else kept looking at me gone out. In the pool out the pool in the pool out the pool.
Came home and all ok. I have given fennel tea a go this afternoon and bloating is not as bad, which is a plus
Oooohshiny - How ya feeling honey? hope you feel better ?

and as jollster said even though we are knackered, moody, cranky, hungry, feeling sick and worried we are all pregnant and that is the main thing. Keep resting , do something you like to do. Get a new book watch your fav film. Ask for a cuddle. Have a chocolate or two and smile. Happy mummy Happy baby

MrsNesbit, forgive me for sticking my nose in, but have you had your immunes tested? It's a very common cause for miscarrying and also inability to conceive, especially in us older ladies, and even more so if no other reason can be found. I have one DS, conceived easily and naturally when I was 36. Then I had a quite a hard time conceiving number 2 (including a late loss and one early mc). Then I didn't conceive for ages and was on the verge of having IVF. I went to a clinic where they specialise in immune testing, and my levels came back quite high. Basically my body was fighting off a pregnancy in the same way bodies fight off donor organs and disease. They put me on medication to bring down the problem areas of my immune system and hey presto, I got a natural BFP while waiting for IVF to start. At 21 weeks I was given the all clear immunes-wise, but I had been getting monthly treatment up until then as it kept creeping up. Sorry if you've been down this path already, but if not, it might be worth getting it tested ASAP. I know a lady from another thread who found out her immunes were high after getting her BFP, got treatment and has just recently given birth to her first DS.

Little red monkey, I'm with you on the wind front. It's shocking. I keep my mouth shut and allow people to assume it's DS . And as for the peeing, I'm making myself drink 2l of water a day to try to help my, ahem, challenged bowels. But you can only imagine the effect that has on my bladder. Quite ridiculous!

mrsN not sure if this is helpful but I have to take 150mg aspirin as I have a clotting issue but I have been told it is very important not to take it before a BFP. I think this is based on research done at St Mary's (where I am under professor regan for recurrent miscarriages). Ignore this of not helpful but I do so clearly remember the prof saying that it was important not to. I assume this is also the case if you have not had anything show in the tests. If this preg fails I will also be getting the killer cells/immune thing checked out as this seems to be the answer for a lot of women in our boat. I would have to go private though as not all the medical professionals don't feel there is the evidence to support the treatment. Personaly I have heard too many success stories to discount it. hang in there, I know it is tough telling people when you have been through it so many times, sometimes I tell, sometimes I don't but I nearly always find it easier with support from my friends. Sending you lots of good vibes x

I feel like pants. Pilates wiped me out and slept for 2 hours after. Now feeling rather sick from my mothers day meal.

LRM I have been trumping all bloody afternoon. Pretty much constantly. I am a pig.

Hi Ladies,
Mrsn am really keeping everything crossed for you.
Tennerlady have you still got itching all over? I have an itchy belly at times, apparently this is the skin stretching, but if it is all over it can be a sign of cholestasis according to my preg book, can be risky for the baby so needs to get checked. Hope its OK.
I had my 20 week scan yesterday - took ages as Baby was being awkward and they couldn't get the measurements they needed at first, but it was lovely to see him/her yawning and rubbing his/her face! As far as they could tell everything seems OK thank god. Am also feeling some movements now which is strange but nice!

Hi Kate it's eased know a bit thank god but thanks Iv got my booking in apt on tue and I will see my diabetic consultant also so I will ask x

Aww thanks, you are all wonderful

I usually have blighted ovums, (4 now)they say that this is chromosomal not clotting and not immunity related.
Probably egg quality.

I do not wish to go down any more investigations or treatment route after this, it defo is mother nature, i am a strong believer in the theory that everything happens for a reason. This is just my lot.

So 5 weeks 1 day, no bleeding, frankly i want to remove my own boobs and throw them over my shoulder..they are v v sore, swinging between starving hungry and nausea.

Oh and OMG i am SO bad tempered and irritable! whats that all about..not like me at all!

keep head down and carry on Mrsnesbit....repeat, repeat,repeat....