Due in October -part 3

[HaggisNeepsTatties]

The third instalment as we're a talkative bunch!

Interesting discussion about hospital v home births. I guess home birth had never really appealed to me that much, but since I've been older & known I have potential complications, I've never considered it an option. Right now I'll be happy if I can give birth naturally at all - it's about 50/50 my fibroids might block the birth canal. However, my ideal is to give birth in hospital as naturally as possible. I'm into this whole idea about less stress/fear around labour and think, since I have (apparently) a bizarrely tolerant pain threshold, that I might prefer a quick(ish) painful labour to a quite painful, exhausting very long one. I dream that I'll be able to give birth in water or standing (leaning) or on all fours but I know in reality I'll be lucky to avoid 'help getting baby out'. The unit at Stavanger's one hospital is state of the art with a 'loft' which is pleasantly decorated, not very 'hospital-like' with lots of 'baths' for women with low complications (or you can start there) that is midwife led but if things get complicated, down 2 floors is the more traditional birthing unit. So unless I'm identified in advance as needing an elective or something I guess I will get to start in the 'loft'. They are quite natural birth/midwife-led orientated in Norway so I hope if there's a possibility I'll be given the best chance to have some choice in the matter. Really interesting hearing others' views & experiences with this though (as a naive first-timer ).

VCarroll - I do really empathise though. This was important bonding for me and, like a sad cow, I am constantly peeping at my one decent pic of the Kung Fu meister and carry it with me everywhere. I keep getting paranoid that it will fade or something! Do look into private if it's a possibility for you. The experience has made me feel 100% better & if it hasn't for you I think that's a big shame.

Sorry vcarroll that it was nt a great experience, I had something similar at my scans with first child, and I m expecting my scan experience tomorrow to be something similar.
We ve decided to take DD with us for dating scan tomorrow, but now I am worrying that is a bad idea. What does everyone think? Make sure baby is well and in the right place and book a private one for DD to see later on, or give in to DD take her with us and fingers crossed all will be well? She s known about the pregnancy from the begining as she overheard me excitedly telling Dh so it s been a long wait for her but she s only 4 and a half...I cant decide.

Actually think I might be positive and take her with us, what will be will be. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

squid - lol - ok, I'll try and quit the 'old bint' stuff and just roll with the 'fat cow' stuff instead . I still think I must be a walking miracle or something...and you didn't sound arsey - everyone has a different outlook on stuff & I'm super-chuffed for people who are fit enough & unlikely to have complications to have their babies however makes them happy.

Gosh Velo - I didn't mean to set any kind of healthy eating bar or anything! :) I mainly was explaining to Angelico how much fruit & veg (amongst other things) I attribute my (so far so good) regular pregnant pooing regime to :). However, I do believe in trying to go for that much anyway, and no, earlier on I barely managed 3 a day when I was feeling more sick & just wanting salty carbs or fishy things!

I must add as a caveat to my advocation of 'healthy eating' that I'm not a fan of all this faddy stuff - 'Paleo', 'carbs are bad' cutting out food groups etc etc but anything that there's genuine scientific-method research behind I'll take on board if it works for me. Low glycaemic did wonders for my PCOS and there's medical evidence that it helps diabetics - I stuck to wholegrain breads, didn't cut out pasta altogether but avoided 'high sugar' starches (lots of sweet potatoes).

At this risk of opening another can of worms discussion topic, I think my predeliction for fruit, veg & healthy eating comes from the fact my mother gave me what they ate & no alternative as a kid. No 'kid food' or ketchup with everything; crisps/junk food rarely as a treat and sweets only on Saturday (a 10p bag from the local newsagent) and if I didn't eat it up there was nothing else. When I left home I totally rebelled and bought pot noodles, ate junk food but soon realised that what I really like is fresh, wholesome home-cooked food with lots of veg. I plan to follow the same pattern with my child - give it our dinner pureed when weaned and help it learn to love veg and I also think 'fun' food for kids can be healthy & home made too (luckily I love to cook). For me, broccoli was 'ickle trees' :) and spearing peas became a fun game . I've seen some good books with strategies to wean your kids onto 'green things' and I'll go for it full pelt. I see how fussy & difficult my DP's 10 & 12 year olds are about eating (and seemingly 'scared' of some unknown foods) after being given 'kiddy food' all their lives and I will eat anything - only a couple of things I don't like (and a few allergies). - Hope this didn't sound arsey - it's just my own opinion & outlook on food...I don't judge what anyone gives their kids to eat, I just think it's a shame when kids grow up only willing to eat a very limited range of foods.

fjordmor you've hit the nail on the head... I feel I've missed the bonding experience. I look at my scan pics.. I don't feel like they are mine.

I took your advice and found a private clinic near me that do a 'reassurance scan' for £65. Have spoken to DH and he is happy to go... So I think I'm going to book it. :-)

Vcarroll sorry you had a naff experience, I had two scans at Harley Street and both were lovely. I was prepared to be unimpressed by my NHS one but it was great (screen at the end of the bed!) even if the sonographer was quite matter of fact and unchatty.

I loved my early private ones, and in my view the more pictures the better!! I have a nice little collection - 8 then 10 and 12 weeks lol. Will prob end up with another private one as my mum really wants to come to the 20 week but they only allow one person in with you so thinking of taking her and dh along togeather after work one day around the same sort of time.

Wow, my scan next Thursday seems so far away.

VCarroll it must have been so fustrating after such a long wait, although you must be relieved that all is OK. Think I'll learn from your experience and be prepared to try and negotiate some longer viewing time.

Oh no, Vcarroll, sorry that your scan was like that - I can completely understand you feeling a bit flat. So glad all is well though.

I've just had my scan - and we had 2 screens, so I could see what was going on all the time, and so could the sonographer. Very lucky, I suppose. Baby was playing very hard to get and it took her ages to get the measurements! So I saw loads, which was fab (sorry *Vcarroll!)

So relieved all is well!!

Ok so I've booked a private scan for Saturday morning - I feel SO much happier now. Seen pics of the clinic and there's a massive screen on the wall - I'm missing nothing!! Lol

Sedgers yes be prepared! As I said I assumed I get to see at the end but it didn't happen... I think my experience seems to be rare but if they flick the screen away quick, just say 'can I have another look befor eyou switch off'? Hopefully they'll oblige....

With my private one I also get a free 3D 'sneak peak' AND we can buy a 3D photo! Yay

Fjordmor check out baby led weaning - sounds like it might be right up your street when the time comes.

Poor VCarroll - I mean obviously I'm delighted everything is well with your pregnancy, but it seems such a shame to unnecessarily deny you seeing your baby! My ultrasonographer was lovely, friendly, chatty and took her time, so I got to see a lot. Baby was also mischievously lying on its front for most of it so there was a lot of hip-shaking and jumping up and down before it was in the right place. But she didn't rush us at all and even spent a good minute trying to get baby in a good position for a photo at the end. And she let me watch while she was doing the measurement. Such a shame - still, hope you enjoy your other scan. And the important thing is all is well, of course.

Fjordmor I agree with you on the food too... I basically agree with you on everything, haha! Teaching myself to cook when I was about 20 was the best thing I ever did. My mum can cook a bit but was never very healthy or adventurous in what she made. Now she rings me for advice!

I've had a nice day... went and got bra-fitted and bought a new non wired one as the bigger wired one I bought is the right size but not that comfy. I'm now a 36DD or 34E, jesus. It felt a bit stupid paying money for a bra that I'm no doubt going to grow out of soon but my breasts are so uncomfortable at the moment. I was going to buy something off ebay but I decided I wanted a proper fitting first... woman in M'n'S was very nice and full of pregnancy advice - I think I look so wide eyed and obviously a first timer, haha! and people tend to think I'm a lot younger than I am (short, long black hair, ridiculous fringe, and I'm usually in trainers and dresses and that).

And then I went and got my hair cut, cause I'm starting this new job tomorrow, and I couldn't actually see past my fringe, like a sheep dog. My hairdresser is an adorably tomboyish 22 year old and was so excited I was pregnant... bless her! She used to work in a nursery and was telling me stories about babies put in nursery full time by well-off doctor/lawyer/etc mums after only a few months - well that is NOT going to be me.

And I have definitely given myself plantar fasciitis in my left foot with this damn hike, arrgh, so annoyed with myself! Can't even have ibuprofen! Have found some physio exercises on the web, going to take paracetamol and keep it on ice when I can, and for god's sake squid STOP WALKING EVERYWHERE. I potter about doing one thing and another and I think I walked about 8 miles today. That was just doing errands! REST YOU FOOL. I'll be on my feet at work anyway...

Still worried about new job, but I think I am actually going to flat out tell them that I am not doing nights. I read some studies linking night shifts to early labours and late miscarriages. No, no, no. They can find someone else, I will still do my 50-80 hour weeks and weekends and whatever else, but I'm not doing nights.

Yay dameflatyoulent!!!! I am so happy we are all entering into a easier safer time. Been no bad news from the 12 week scans at all yet on this thread has there? Makes sense why they do it at this stage I suppose. (I hope there haven't been women with bad news anyway, maybe they wouldn't want to come here.) Still fingers crossed for everyone who has it coming soon!

Vcarroll very exciting about the 3D scan...enjoy!!

Thanks Squid fingers and toes crossed that the good luck continues.

Ladies, question for you.... We are invited to a wedding on 22nd Sep and my due date is now 10th Oct (2.5 weeks later). The wedding is far away in Cardiff (we live in London) would you try and go or pull out?

VCarroll what a drag but sounds like you'll be sorted on Saturday.
Ask the clinic but as babies sleep a lot, I've heard of clinics recommending a drink of cola before the scan - apparently the sugar/caffeine combo guarantees an awake baby. I don't want you to have a little slumbering mite when you're all ready to say hello.
Go to wedding, you could feel great then, and it might be your last chance for a while to socialise. Book room near/at reception. Make sure to be off work from then though.

Bonding is a funny thing - it doesn't happen when you might think.
When my DS was born (normal v delivery, gas and tens), I picked him up and looked in his eyes - he would not meet my eyes. I wanted him to but he always gazed into the distance. I had seen a birth video when the new born had mimicked his fathers expression within minutes of being born, and I expected intense concentration on my face by my baby. As he was conceived of donor eggs, I read way too much into this (He knows I'm not his proper mother!! etc.)

Anyway as time went by, when I would put him down or walk around the room, he would stare at me constantly, but he would not look into my face up close. I kinda figured it was too intense for him. Up on my lap he looked around the room. Off my lap he looked at me and got really distressed if I left the room ? I used to carry him out in the laundry basket when doing laundry. He does look at my eyes now and laugh and play, I just never got that eye ball baby stare.

Good luck on Saturday

Squidkid afraid your story was why I went private at 42. I had heard horror stories about students managing prolonged labours. Anyway, the unit I went to was quiet at the time and I had several wise midwives, and students and the (privately paid) ObGyn was not needed. I had my baby in a public unit. It was a wonderful positive experience. I hope that my (private) ObGyn will not be needed again this time- I look on it like car insurance.

Goodness Vcarroll that is cutting it fine! We have one on the 21st sept & it's nearby & I'm thinking of not going to that!! (the fact that I dont get on at ALL with the bride has nothing to do with it lol) I would suggest leave it as long as you can before you have to respond & then go with your gut instinct.If you're not keen being that far away that close to arrival then dont go,& lets be honest none of us know for definate when our tiddlers will arrive...

Hello!

I've been away for a while but I was on the first and second October threads a bit under a different screen name. I've completely lost track now but recognise a few names.

Exciting few weeks as we all have our first scans.

What happened to MissBone?

I am hoping to have a Home Birth as well and was relieved when I mentioned it to my midwife and she was so positive at my booking oppointment.

Is anyone else showing yet? I'e been asked several times if I'm expecting and having to wear maternity clothes all the time already!

23yrs, 13+2, 2nd baby.

lisbeth you give sound advice! Interesting on he bonding thing... I guess I'd like to have the chance to try! I'm looking forward to sat now. :-)

I agreed with your advice about the wedding... I plan to go on maternity leave the day before taking the fri off... Alhough I would still be nerous I guess I will see how I feel nearer the time as gucci also makes sense with what she says! I do think if I hated the bride that would swing it for me lol

Evening all ladies. Well can I please use capitals to express my shit day please? KNACKERED, HORRIBLY BUSY, NAUSEOUS, stuck in traffic, DIzZY, bastard awful day. Right feel better to get that off my chest.

turnwest I have thought about taking DD with me but decided against it. Just couldn't face her being there if bad news as she is old enough to be upset (same age as your DD. I do really want to take her as I know she'd love it but think I will sve it till 20 weeks.
vcarrol sorry your scan was a but shit, hope your private one makes up for it an is a good high resolution machine.

If I make it that far I am going to plan for a birthing centre. I opted for a home birth last time but that ended up going tits up and feel birthing centre is a good compromise. Midwife nearly laughed when I mentioned home birth and As I am considered high risk I will be a good girl for now and do what I am told. To be honest I just want it to come out ok, not bothered how! I had a plan last time, friends with babies sniggered at my plan and I thought how rude! Now I know why they did! No plan this time for me. Important to know what you want but also important to be flexible and not be too disappointed if things don't go to plan.

Sorry for the moan, needed to get it of my chest. I felt so shit today I was very close to just telling my team but dont want to peak too soon. I think I just wanted some TLC and as nobody knows there is nobody to give it! Bit silly really. Have a lovely evening everyone x

midgetm you have your rant that's hat this thread is here for! Talking to people who understand what you are going through tea and sympathy!

Thanks fjord for info, think it's the liquids letting me down as I am brimming with fruit and veg! :) Also had an actimel drink thing as I suspect antibiotics last week have killed all the good bacteria as well

Mrsconfusion don't know where you are at in your pregnancy but fruit and fruit juice really turned me for a while, now I can eat / drink them again fine so maybe depends on stage.

VCarroll you will really notice the difference with the private scan trust me - I had it before NHS scan and was so pleased I did. They spent ages showing us everything, lots of photos, measured heartbeat etc. NHS one - got a rather brusque lady of advancing years who scanned me, said 'good heartbeat' and then hurried off outside to chat to the receptionist again. A lovely trainee doc saw me last week after I coughed so much I got spotting and she spent ages looking and showing us stuff, laughed at the bean's manic antics etc. It really is luck of the draw NHS. So glad all is well and you'll be glad you spent the money on Sat :)

Also VCarroll wedding wise - really depends how you feel. I was v disappointed that my best friend from uni missed hen party / wedding but understood because it involved flights late in her pregnancy and I know she felt awful missing it (I had been her bridesmaid). Might help if you could go earlier and make a min holiday of it.

Squid definitely say no to the night work. You need to put yourself and the bean first!

Jealous of the peeps looking at doulas - none over here that I can see, nor indeed private midwives that I can find. Am a bit worried that my hospital is madly busy at the minute, hence them cancelling my antenatal appt twice. Lovely midwife said they are mad with women due in Sep, some of whom may well go over by a week or two so am quite nervous about the whole thing.

Ooooh, shall I start the new thread we are up to 999 messages with this one! Due Oct 2012 - part 4!

Link here.