Due in October -part 3

[HaggisNeepsTatties]

The third instalment as we're a talkative bunch!

Thanks Fjordmor
I've read The Interpretation of Murder. Hated, hated 'Hunger Games' - read first few chapters, then skipped to the last part and thought every bit was ghastly.
I've just downloaded a Marian Keyes as I don't think I've read anything by her. I'll check out 'Game of Thrones'

Squidkid I'm in awe of you - you do in a week what I do in about a month.
If your heel is still sore maybe you should ice it. Sounds like planter fascitis. Have you really really good shoes for the new job?

I love OBEM - I cry when I watch it.

Welcome MrsConfusion. Have a [BREW]

What happened?

Thanks lisbeth :)

Sadly haven't been able to stomach tea (decaff or herbal, which I used to drink by the gallon) since roughly week 6, hopefully I'll get back to hot drinks soon!

Sounds like you all do so such as well as growing beans - all those moving house, changing job, working in crazy jobs, teaching - am in awe! I wonder if my team have noticed how much of the last few months I've spent trying not to gag/faint in the Ladies...?

Oh, is this how to do the stats bit? 32, 12+5, #1

lisbeth which Marian Keyes did you go for? Let me know what you think!

Off to sleep now... Night everyone! :-)

Angelico - meant to reply earlier (hope you see this in the morning). 5 a day, as I understand it, is the recommended 'minimum'. I aim for about 8 a day (which I believe is optimal) but allow myself to settle at 7 then, if I 'fail' some days, I usually get my 5 anyway. I get one from fresh juice, one from fruits, then 5 a mixture usually of a big salad and one or two veg with supper - tomatoes raw or cooked and always try to include one green leafy thing: spinach, lettuce, or cabbage. I also throw an extra half an onion (cooked) into tinned soup, or perhaps put sweetcorn or some peppers in tomato pasta sauce...just think of ways to sneak in an extra serving. I have found that since making this my mission and making sure I get enough liquid, my diet isn't too 'dry', wholemeal bread and having one portion of proper 'bio' yoghurt or bio yoghurt drink (such as actimel) per day (or any combination of 3 of the above) then I'm lovely & regular. It may not last but it's worked since about 10 weeks & I have to think that Mr Phooey is thriving on all that high class nutrition (so glad I'm not craving junk!). I do eat pretty (but not neurotically) healthily. You'd think I'd be thin. My major problem is lack of exercise when I left work & my routine changed when my dad became ill. That & portion size creeping up with a 'big' partner. Usually, if I'm pretty active, I eat well & more or less what I fancy without putting on weight. Set of life circumstances, fibroids, and probably way too regular red wine when trying to cope with dad's failing health did for me. Of course increasing age doesn't help so the exercise kick will kick back in as soon as I'm allowed/am capable (used to do kick boxing, hiking & zumba). (I've posted WAY too much today. I promise to shut up a bit tomorrow. It's the excitment/relief I think ).

Please ignore amelia33 her comments will be gone in tge morning

Fjordmor - I suspect that you are setting the thread standard on healthy eating! Yesterday at work I was so hungry that I munched on breadsticks all morning + satsuma's then lunch of soup and lasagne (not great before hitting the gym).

Today's plan? Just had cup of decaf tea, bowl of museli, two hard-ish eggs and 2-slices of bread. Hopefully this will keep me going until the mid-day snack.

Are you doing any exercise at the moment? Hit the gym yesterday for the first time in 12 weeks and I am contemplating whether or not i can manage the bit of my aikdio class where we wave swords around (no tumbling in that bit!). Knowing me however I'll just succumb to being too tired and will lie in defeat on the couch.

Have a good day y'all -

39, 14+0 #1

Fjordmor I loved reading your account of the scan. I'm so glad everything is well. Maybe you'll have to stop the self deprecating comments about your age etc and just go with, MUM! (or MOR, is it?)

You are totally right about the birth stories and that programme sounds interesting. I'm (at the moment) surprisingly un-scared about the labour. I am very hopeful after talking to my friend the midwife, she is working in the community this year, she said the difference in women having home births or better-informed women is unbelievable - she honestly couldn't believe it till she started this job - women going from 5-10cm in an hour, no pain relief, over and over. OF COURSE it goes without saying some labours do become complicated and certainly need interventions and it is not anything the woman is doing "wrong", but it seems like preparation, a feeling of control and good support do wonders for an uncomplicated one.

I think I want a home birth but I'm still considering it. My midwife friend says if you are low risk the safest place for you is wherever you feel safe - for some women home, for some hospital. I have a friend who's an Obs & Gynae registrar who says some of the reactions against home births are emotional and hysterical, he showed me some interesting studies. However he did also say he wouldn't really recommend it for a first time mum simply because about half of them end up going in anyway (usually for "routine" reasons not emergencies - labour not progressing, need more pain relief). Going into hospital from home can be demoralising and labour can slow down. He said there are very very few emergencies a good midwife wouldn't be able to anticipate and deal with, and at a home birth you get two senior ones! I've done my stint on the labour ward as a medical student and I did a woman's entire labour on my own (asking questions to the midwife next door at times, she was so busy). I had absolutely zero experience, a week of lectures. The mum was very grateful (I still have a lovely picture of me holding the baby I delivered) and she was fabulous and the labour went without complication, but I know I would feel safer with two senior midwives constantly there, not a ever-changing range of midwives and students and, often, no one. Oooh... I can tell this is going to open a can of worms!

Fjordmor I think your diet sounds great. I actually don't think there's a consistent correlation between people's diets and what size they are. (You don't' catch doctors saying this, but this is because we have very little training in nutrition.) I am someone who lost weight from about a size 16 to a 8 over about five years, it took relentless willpower and under-eating (down to a small meal a day at times) and I actually think it was really unhealthy, I'm not quite sure how I stuck with it. I mean I actually think what I did would have ended up in anorexia with a lot of women, but because I never got underweight no one ever got alarmed? I adjusted my eating once I realised how little calories I was giving my body and kind of came back to a size 10. I have managed to stay at that eating a very very healthy diet (don't under-eat any more though) and at times insane amounts of exercise. I have many friends who are half my size who eat three meals of junk food a day and cake on the hour and never exercise. It is just, one of those things. I think it's always worth trying to lose weight if you are actually overweight, because there are associated problems, but the people who try and pretend it's the same battle for everyone are deluded. I also think eating healthy food and exercising is just very good for you, no matter what your size. Not just your physical health - mental too.

OK squid, shut up now. You have already won blathering prize for the day!

ps. I am FIFTEEN WEEKS TODAY! YAY! In just the last two days, I have the beginnings of a bump :)

I read that back and hope it doesn't sound arsey. If women prefer the idea of being in hospital and feel safer there I think that's absolutely great - just voicing my personal opinions on how I feel about my labour not meaning to denigrate anyone else's opinions which may differ.

hello :) I have been reading back, and wondered if I can join in please? I think I'm due 24th October.

squidkid hello, I had my first (and second) babies at home, and it was a really good experience. (Hopes this is a reassuring thing to say). I was very unsure initially and was considering consultant-led with #1, but did lots of reading at 30ish weeks and spoke to a few mums about hospital/home experiences, and went for it, and very glad I did too. I'm really willing to say more about any of that which might be helpful to you in making your own decision.

Yesterday I rang a doula, and had a really interesting conversation with her, so if all goes well that's something else up my sleeve.

Stats: 38, 10+6, DC3

Squid I dont think there's any harm in voicing your opinion,we're all entitled to that!! For me personally (& my pain in the ass blood!) the only option for me is to go to the hospital & midwife suggested the same so at least we're on the same page lol I dont so much have a fear of the labour itself just I guess the unknown with regards to what I have so figured best place would be where everything is to hand so to speak.

Jumping on diet bandwagon,I'm really struggling to get the fruit & veg down my neck,though I am now at least looking at it in supermarket haven't done that in weeks so maybe it will become easier.All I have wanted in the morning is yohurts or chocolate mousse I wouldn't recommend it really I have just been craving sweet stuff (god I've been naughty!!)

Hope all you lovely ladies have a nice day today x

I'm very impressed with those managing to get 5 or more a day in. I try but just can't stomach fruit juice and my tummy won't really handle much fruit/veg until later in the day. Try to cram as much as possible into evening meal. Mostly I've been using various carbohydrate snacks to control nausea, not great nutritionally but at least keeps me upright. Must try harder! Will take tips from Fjordmor

I'm not really thinking much towards the end yet, but was a bit disconcerted when at my booking in appointment the midwife ticked the hospital option without really asking, despite there being a mid-wife led unit in the same building at the hospital! I'd rather keep it as calm and non-medical as possible, but I think she's worried as I may need special blood due to ancient medical history - but surely that could be on standby in a midwife unit if needed, then if necessary move down to labour ward? I'll ask at the next appointment. Really interested to hear everyone's views on the options.

Am off work this week, such a relief to try to catch up on sleep and sort the house out. Which means getting off the sofa and actually doing some cleaning... oops!

Hope all have good days today

Another recommendation for homebirths! I wasn't supposed to have a homebirth with DS - I had been tempted, but was too worried about all the what-ifs - but he was in too much of a hurry (after the hospital sent us home...my faith in our hospital, needless to say, isn't fantastic). Having a planned homebirth would've been so much nicer than the carnage caused by an unplanned - it's definitely messy! I'm planning a homebirth this time, just wondering what to do with DS. Very much doubt he'll sleep through it (not sure why I assume it'll happen at night, but I do!).

I'm off for my scan now. Yikes!

dameflatyoulent my son slept through his baby brother's arrival, and met him at breakfast time. He was 12 months old though, how old is yours?

My sons (age 3 and 2 now) are part of the reason for thinking of a doula, so I have someone with me, but my DH can go to the boys if they wake. :) I, like you am imagining a night time thing, but we have a day plan too.

Morning all.

Diet wise mine is whatever I can face / cope with eating! Chocolate spread sandwiches are breckfast number 2 when I get to work lol. That said I do try for a varied diet!

We are hoping for a home birth too. The community midwife seemed quite excited by this - i suspect they don't get many first timers being so adamant lol.

Am slightly worried by the NHS tho, I trained as a midwife (but was too young at 19 and never completed the course) and know what a mixed bag you can get in terms of care. Also the community midwife team haven?t not really impressed me the couple of times I?ve had to contact them. We did interview a couple of independent midwifes (one being the lady quoted in the Evening Standard last night) and they were lovely - one particularly so but its £4500 and we just couldn?t justify it. Really hope we don't regret that.

Fell a tad better today - think my calcium tablets were disagreeing with me. I hadn't taken them for a week and MS had improved. Yesterday I took one and was back to throwing up at work.

Hope everyone is feeling good today :)

GD

Hi all,

I've been swimming . Feel very proud of myself and totally exhausted energised for the day! (OK, maybe a bit tired!). I have managed to stop eating junk food and copious amounts of biscuits and chocolate (staff room is a nightmare!) over the last few days and feeling much better for eating lots of fresh fruit, veg, salads and yoghurt.

I am also considering a homebirth, the main reason being that I'm sure I will feel much more relaxed waiting around for things to happen in my own home, with books, films etc at hand, than I would in a hospital ward, however cosy it was. I also think DH will feel much more relaxed at home (and I'm more worried about him and how he copes than I am about me - I'll be fine, I can handle pain, but he faints at the sight of blood and will get very uneasy seeing me in any sort of discomfort). Interestingly, my midwife said that maternity wards are understaffed at the moment and sometimes it's not actually possible to get one, let alone two midwifes out to a home birth so I may end up having to come in to hospital simply because they haven't got the staff. If I go for a hospital birth, I'd like a waterbirth. Does anyone know though, if you plan a homebirth but then end up having to go into hospital for whatever reason, can you still have a waterbirth there?

Weezl74, I am also considering a doula because wherever I end up giving birth, it means that there will be someone there who will be able to make sure we are both OK (and again, more for DH, to help him know how to be involved as this will take pressure off me).

Vcarroll, hope all goes well for you today - got mine on Thursday, at last (and not even the NHS one, a privately booked one so that we can tell my parents on Sunday) - Guccigirl79, we're scan buddies!

Zoe, I don't really feel much of anything - lots of weird aches and pains, twinges in the ligaments near my hips when I cough, but no actual "full" feeling which is making me worry, quietly - I know I should have faith but I won't be at all surprised if at the scan they tell me things aren't as they should be. Gutted, but not surprised - symptoms have eased so much over the last couple of weeks, it's like not being pregnant.

I hope everyone has a good day - I'm torn between pottering today (because I deserve it, dammit) or doing schoolwork (because there' so much of it to do, dammit, so I'd better get on with it!).

36, 12+2, DC#1

yomping I guess it might vary from hospital to hospital, but here there are 7 pools in MLU and they are assigned on a first come first served basis (once the woman is clerked and is at least 4cms) at that point, if there is a pool free, it's hers. Hope that helps. :)

ps.Though some of the reasons for transferring in would put you in consultant-led, so perhaps that's less relevant, sorry.

Hi Ladies, so I had my scan this morning and let me just say everything is ok and of course am thrilled about that, but I am feeling really flat about the whole experience. I am sure you were all the same as me - really, really excited to see your baby for the first time and I have read some wonderful descriptions of other people's experiences so couldn't wait. However, when I went in I laid down and she put the scanner on me, said there was one baby and a strong heartbeat (yay) then she turned the screen round for me to see and I saw it wiggle slightly and was really excited but then she goes, I'm sorry I really have to do the measurements' and then turned it away. I sat there full of anticipation thinking she'd turn it back again but she did what she had to do and then switched it off. I saw the screen for about 5-10 seconds, tops.

My husband was sat so he could see what she saw and said it was amazing could see the baby wiggling around and waving it's arms and legs and that's what I really wanted! He obviously had a better experience as a result. Don't get me wrong the MOST important thing is there is a healthy baby in there but I do feel somewhat robbed. Just wanted to share it with you guys really who might understand how I feel.

Congrats on your good scan Vcarroll. I can see how 5-10secs would feel like a bit of a cheat! Hopefully next time you can get to see it more?

Good luck with your scan YompingJo.

I feel like I'm doing ok with fruit and veg though not quite at Fjordmor levels! I have been encouraged by you though and had a banana as a snack this morning instead of a cereal bar so I guess that's progress.

Interesting thoughts re birthing etc, squid. Once the scan is done and if all ok, I plan to chat to my sil in more detail - she's a midwife and totally lovely - to hear her thoughts on the subject. I think one of the things that the NHS is short of in general is time! But at the moment I'm leaning more towards midwife-led birth suite attached to a hospital rather than straight hospital. I think DF and I would be more relaxed in a less medical / formal environment and that should (I hope) help. I've had a couple of friends who've had very straightforward births (less than 5 hours each time, no stitches, no painkillers) and I'm focusing on those positive experiences, rather than the horror stories that others are so keen to share!

Probably controversially, I have watched One Born Every Minute several times and actually find it quite calming. There seem to be a number of women who surprise themselves by managing to do it without the pain relief they thought they wanted and, in the circumstances where baby is totally stuck and birth Not Happening, then midwives step in to help. So I think it's actually quite realistic.

36, 10, #1

VCarroll - that's such a shame! No wonder you were disappointed! I felt exactly the same after my first scan which was a bit like that (in the EPU) too but I guess I'm lucky that in my local hospital, the 12 week scans are in the Fetal Medicine Unit and there was both a big screen on the wall for me to look at and they had positioned the couch so one would be right up close to the sonographer, overlooking her screen too. Did they give you the chance for a photo at least? Is a private scan an option for you at all? Sometimes they're not that expensive and really worth it for your peace of mind. I know I would have been tempted if my 12 week was like my early one. So sorry your experience was like that. I do feel really bad for you and a bit responsible if my gushing about my experiences set a false 'bar' :-(.

Thanks for the sympathy fjordmor... I know I shouldn't feel this upset. I did get pics and I keep looking at them and reminding myself of what's important. To be honest I hadn't thought about going private... I might see how much it would cost - all I want is a few minutes seeing my baby wiggling about! PLEASE don't feel bad about gushing about your experience I love seeing people being positive (much better than doom and gloom)!!