Due in October -part 3

[HaggisNeepsTatties]

The third instalment as we're a talkative bunch!

I wanted to post my long post before I got cut off - but I'm not finished yet...

To all those moving house in the middle of all of this londonl and Fjiordmor BEST of luck. We are actually house hunting as well. I have decided that if it does come to pass this year (a house move), I am treating myself to professional movers - I really really hope we can afford that. All the boxes and cleaning thing

Kyyria there is a word for that schadenfreud - and I think you're entitled

On the employed/self employed front. I was selfemployed for 17 years, and I've been in a job for 5. In terms of pregnancy and family life there is no comparison. I am paid for sick leave, and I was off last week, and will be paid for it. Come September I will walk out the door without a care (about work), you never have that when self employed. Blah, blah, blah. Anyone should try to run a business for a while, it is a great life experience
Sedgers best of luck with the major life changes. As you say you have each other. My DH and I are closer for the adversity we faced together. Also, you can spend on baby like there is no tomorrow, but that is us mums. Baby does not know/care. In fact very little is essential. I will buy a LOT less this time around.

44yo 13wks 2 days, #2. DS 19months

Before I go - a tip I'm trying to follow and I'll pass on.

You use a lot of baby stuff for a very short time, then it becomes a dust collector, before you cart if off to the the charity shop. Charity shops are great for baby stuff, but it's not like Debenhams, you can't just go in and get what you want. I missed a wooden playpen by 10 mins.

So the tip is. If there are any c shops near your home or work, pop in regularly to see if they have anything that would be on your list

liesbeth it's fortunately not me who'd be doing the masters, but himself. He was totally up for it then two of his best friends (who don't have kids) have said he's absolutely mad and he'll never be able to do it with all the demands on his time / sleepless nights etc. I think he'll be able to do it, it just means that there'll be less him & me time in the evenings (read : no us time!) and not much family time at the weekend. Thank you for reminding me that the bambino should sleep a lot during the first year though so trying not to panic.

re house hunting, we've sold our flats but can't find a house to buy - am trying not to panic but think we're going to have to rent temporarily (and thus move twice...sigh). I too am pushing for professional movers, particularly as family are far too far away (nearest sibling is 800km away!).

oh GAWD re molar pregnancy. I am panicking that either that or blighted ovum will be what my scan says. must breathe and think positively.

RIGHT. Off for a walk in the sun to do exercise and morale-boosting simultaneously (in theory). Hopefully everyone is having a lovely day.

Today sucks!!! It is a beautiful sunny day... and all I want to be is be sick :(

It IS a beautiful day and have been out wandering around town looking at the art galleries and gardens and stuff, but got a bit tired. One of my feet is still quite sore from the big hike.

Oooh - I'm really sorry if I bothered anyone with the self-employed envy - I could never do something like that, I am filled with admiration for anyone with a business head, and of course the maternity leave and sick leave are huge considerations! My sister is a florist and runs her own business and she never stops working. I am just a bit scared about starting a new notoriously busy and tough job on wednesday I think... sorry :(

I am feeling full of doubts today. Some silly ones and some real ones. And I feel tired and sick, and i thought that bit of pregnancy had passed.

Boyfriend is cross with me cause I am feeling a bit crap about my body today. I even tried on my skinny jeans and they fitted this morning, I've worn them out all day, so I am obviously not much bigger. I just feel a bit wrong in my skin. I went into mothercare and tried on some maternity jeans and they're comfy but I don't feel like I can buy them if my normal clothes still fit. Has anyone else bought maternity clothes? I'm nearly 15 weeks now.

I tried on some beautiful and cheap maxi dresses thinking how beautiful and comfy they'd be for the summer (plenty of room in them for a bump) but my tits are too big for them. Other than that they were stunning, and it's irritating when things fit everywhere except your stupid boobs. Boyfriend loves tits, but you can't bloody dress them. 32E now, and still a size 10 (getting towards 12 I guess), so just look wonky and top-heavy. I wish I had long slim legs or something, but I am a shortarse with muscular rather than slender legs and my best point is probably my little waist, so when that is gone I am convinced I will just look like a dumpling. WHINGE WHINGE WHINGE. I think I am channelling my job-anxiety into body hatred, I'm normally ok with the way I look. Don't hate me :(

lisbeths I am so pleased science helped with your pregnancy and I think it's wonderful what can be done when there are problems now. I do think sometimes we over-medicalise normal pregnancy though. The friend I am talking about who isn't having the scan is 24 and has had a healthy baby already (6 hr long home birth! she's a legend) so I guess she has more... reasons to be confident than many.

I have every reason to be confident too and I still find myself fretting quite a bit. I'm a bit nervous of the whole "babies might naturally stop kicking for a while, but if the movements reduce - call someone urgently" thing - I mean WHAT! How will I gauge the difference between a "naturally less active" and "worryingly less active" baby!!?

I am not usually much of a worrier about things. I do get anxious about work, but I've been in lots of sticky situations and seen lots of patients die, and I don't know how some doctors remain so relaxed - most of them are highly strung though. But I am surprised to find how much I've been fretting about this baby... I do often wish I'd found out at 9 weeks rather than 4 weeks! I just knew, straight away.

lisbeth thank-you very much for the encouragement. I'm certainly going to follow through with your charity shop tip. I'd be very interested to hear a bit more about your experiences of being self-employed.

It's funny my DH and I have not watched the pennies for many years. We've never been ones for buying big items but seem to have flittered away money on general living, nice food, meals out, taxis and expensive bars. However, since we've known our lives are about to change we have managed to spend significantly less money and are absolutely no less happy for it. In fact there is quite a pleasure in finding new ways to save.

milk hope you start feeling better soon. I've felt sick for most of today. I gave up, had a lie down, got up and had a tripple chocolate muffin...and now feeling slightly more comfortable in my own skin. At least (with any luck) we'll have the nausea stage over once the real summer kicks in :)

Hi all, hope we're all having a good day, I spent the morning with the kids at church, followed by the park. Then I've had a 2 hour nap with dd2 . I think I might need to make some dinner soon though, I'm not used to cooking as dp usually does it, but Sunday is my day to cook.

lisbethopposite the tip about charity shops is great, and ebay is fantastic too. Neither of my girls have cost me anywhere near as much as other people seem to spend on their children. This time round I'm not even getting as much as I did for dd2, and I was pretty minimalist with her. All a baby really needs is food (boobs are great for this, and it's free), somewhere to sleep (I have a bed, baby is welcome to sleep with me), clothes (this is where charity shops will come in for me, or freecycle), nappies (I have a stash of cloth nappies from dd2, birth to potty so don't need to buy any more), and some form of transportation (I've just bought a wrap sling from ebay for £20, second hand :o). All in all, I think this baby will cost less than £100, at least until it starts eating solid food. But it's costing us loads in terms of lost earning obviously, which is why dp is so worried about how we'll cope, and is doing his best to ignore this pregnancy even exists (getting more difficult as my waistline expands even though I'm still losing weight)

Yomping I don't mind people grumping, I've felt pretty grumpy the past few days. It's nice to have somewhere you can moan about stuff.

Squid It really is less stressful to find out later about a pregnancy. With dd1 I was 16 weeks before I did a test, and was already showing . I was in serious denial about it all, but it did mean I didn't stress about how the baby was, and it didn't even cross my mind that there might be any problems. How I wish I was still that naive. I thought about not bothering with a scan, as I've got 2 healthy children and have no reason to think this will be any different, but I really would like confirmation that I'm not just imagining it all.

jodidi aw, I hope your partner comes round soon. I am a chief earner in our little family and sometimes we worry, but hey, people have managed a lot more on a lot less. And so great to find someone on the same page as me about buying stuff! I am already a big ebay/oxfam shopper and I can't see baby stuff being any different. I want to breastfeed and sleep the kid in my bed and I will buy a sling but probably not a pram and my sister is explaining the mysteries of reusable nappies to me as they're cheaper and better for the environment. Everytime I see a list of "must haves" (usually written by some shop with a lot of money to make out of people) my eyebrows start climbing. Moses basket AND stand (will last how long - 2 months?) Baby changing unit? (what's wrong with my table??) etc...

I think I'll quite enjoy buying baby clothes but I want them all second hand if possible (people will probably give me stuff anyway, my friends are very generous).

The thing I'm most excited about is not something I'm going to buy... I want to make a mobile for the baby... with pictures of all my favourite things on it! It will involve a squid!

Evening all, long time no post! Hope everyone is well. I see a few familiar faces in the last few pages. Sickness starting, at last, to wane, and scan last week showed one extremely wriggly baby. Enormous bump, definitely well into mat clothes now. Groan.
Can't wait for mat leave
So I am now 14+3 and it's started to fly past!

I've just seen that the NCT organises 'nearly new' baby sales for clothes and equipment. One in my area in May!

Sedgers, I can't wait for June/July when I am not sick any more and can dive into ice-cream

Ah, ladies, somehow you always make me feel a bit better.

I feel super-grumpy today. Whenever this happens, I immediately assume its because Life is Terrible and Pregnancy Sucks and that the grumpiness has nothing to do with staying out late, for example... Which I did last night. Phooey!

yompingjo that sounded like a dead reasonable reason to grump out to me. We're going on a little holiday (Slovenia!) next week for pretty much the same 'last chance' reason (only I have no DC and my family live on the other side of the world, bless them.) I promise I will toast you with a regionally appropriate Slovenian beverage, alcoholic or non as per your preference.

32, DC1, 14+3.

Evening everyone, long time no post :)
Hope you have all had good days- congratulations to those whose sickness is waning, I seem to be having an aversion to the smell of meat cooking- pheasant and chicken been cooked in the house the last few days and both times I have wanted to throw my guts up.
I am unreasonably exhausted today, so going to go back to bed ;) Night all! xxx

In responce to ypur question Squid I'm a hairdresser (mobile) & have been for around 6 years now & I love it!! I worked in salons for 12 years & the last one was good for a while but owners wife made life very unpleasant for a few of us & it drove me to a nervous breakdown so the only answer was to set up on my own (with the help of my dear old dad bless him) & I haven't looked back since!! I may have taken a drop in income but it's more than worth it for not feeling like shit every morning & believe me knowing the buck stops with you,re earning to pay bills is more than enough motivation to go to work everyday!!

Had a nice Sunday really,weather has been beautiful done loads of washing & cleaning & even cooked a roast dinner!! Knackered now though so will be off to bed before long :)

So much to comment on today but I'm knackered (seems I'm in good company :-)) and have a super-early morning tomorrow - NT\12 week scan! Quite nervous about getting all my results and my risk. Keeping everything crossed that it's ok. Strangely, also quite interested to find out my blood group. Dealt with blood groups so much in my previous work & never knew what mine was. Will read & write more tomorrow but mainly a big 'YES' to secondhand baby gear. I'm getting my pushchair/pram thing off eBay :-)

Hugs, no sickness or worries & good nights' sleep to all x

I hate morning sickness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

milk I couldn't agree more. Felt sick all night and barely slept and feel CACK this morning. So queasy and bile-filled. UGH.

Oh poor milk, sending you lots of sympathy. And fjordmor, I have everything (including eyes) crossed for you.

Have started the day off with an enormous heart to heart with DH involving a lots of hysterical crying (from me, not him). The upshot of it is that I don't really feel my parents, mother in particular, did a great job of bringing me up and there are so many things I want to make sure I don't do with regards to our own children, so that they grow up sane, relaxed, liking themselves, and knowing without a shred of doubt that they are good enough for me and loved unconditionally. Until I met DH (at the age of 33), I never once felt that I was good enough for anyone. I know, I know, here's the world's smallest violin, playing my song... I just don't want my children to feel like that. It's nice to know that I have this massive chance to do a better job - kind of like completing the circle, righting the wrongs, making up for things not done.

And on that deep note, I'm off for tea and croissants for breakfast.

Yomping that made me cry. I tell DD I love her at least once every day and you know what - she has the biggest head in the world but she sure as hell knows she is loved. The fact that you are already thinking about the type of Mum you want to be probably means you will be lovely.

Fjord got everything crossed for you lady.

I am too very grumpy, very tired and very nauseous. A very bad combination. Also getting a cold. And I have a day ofs so this seem particularly unfair and a source of great whinging. (something i am quick to tell DD off for....I am also a hypocrite when pregnant.

A little bit tmi here but suddenly I am not constipated. Like not at all. In fact I have been more times in the last 2 days then i have in the last 2 weeks. This is freaking me out a bit. Sorry for the TMI but is worrying me and I wondered if anyone else has had this? It's not a stomach upset - just not constipation.

Sorry for the pooh talk - when you all feel sick its the last thing you need!

Good luck fjordmor, fingers crossed for you.

Poor yompingjo, I don't think that's unreasonable, I've been having huge doubts about pretty much EVERYTHING past few days. I think if you love kids, all the rest is secondary, and I guess if you have these doubts at all it means you're not one of the selfish ones. Big hugs.

Now I am scaring myself slightly reading horror birth stories on another thread. I still think mine will be ok though. My mum had three straightforward births and I'm pretty fit and healthy and calm in a crisis - not that that guarantees anything but a good starting point - fingers crossed.

I am waiting for a call back from Occupational Health right now about the new job I'm starting on wednesday. I am such a mess at the moment, I don't want a new job, I'm too tired to prove myself to a group of new people all over again, it's hard enough when you're not pregnant, and I cried for about an hour yesterday at the thought of doing night shifts/ 12 days in a row again.

So I'm wasting my last two days of annual leave fretting. Sigh. After they call me back I'm going to go for a swim and try and calm the fuck down.

Midgetm last couple of days of my hike I pooed loads of times and wasn't constipated at all (useful, when you're in the middle of nowhere). Now I am constipated again. I wouldn't worry about it...

Midgetm I m exactly the same today with the poo thing, hardly been at all recently and this morning alone I have been twice and (tmi) a lot came out!! Feels strangely good though, try not to worry though I think its normal.

Good luck fjord hope everythings ok, I m sure it will be.

Well at least my scan is nearly here!! Only got to wait til wednesday, I m driving myself mad googling the stats of something being wrong, I just feel like everything went so smoothly with first pregnancy with DD that I m not going to be so luckily this time.

Thinking positive though and bought some mat wear and looked at prams (I would def buy second hand if I saw something I liked) and cant believe the price of prams, extortionate. Just a tip though, if you re buying a pram off ebay make sure you ve tested the same pram or similar one in the shop, we bought the first pram we saw with DD cause it looked nice, and discovered when she was born, it was too heavy and impossibly hard to fold up and convert to a pushchair. We ended up getting rid of the expensive travel system pram and buying a separate pushchair. Just a thought, its a lot of money to waste. Hope everyone has a good day.

Yomping I think you will be a great mum, especially as you know you want your kids to feel loved unconditionally. I feel like I'm a great mum to dd2, but I don't think I was that good with dd1, and I still feel like I'm trying to make up for the mistakes I made when she was younger. I've been reading a book called 'Unconditional Parenting' by Alfie Kohn, and it's giving me some good ideas about how I want to raise my children, even though a lot of it goes against what is 'normal' to most of us, ie no naughty step/time out, no rewards/praise, etc just lots and lots of talking to kids and explaining things. I'm not following everything he says (I don't follow any books completely) but I'm taking some of his ideas and fitting them into our lives.

Squid I'm sure your new job will be fine, but I fully understand why you're stressing out about it. I applied for a new job to start after Easter, but pulled out when I found out I was pregnant. I am much happier staying where I am as I know everyone and don't have to get to know new classes just before they do exams, etc. I hope you feel better about it soon.

Good luck with the scan Fjord, I'm sure everything will be fine. I really want mine now, but still have another 3 weeks to wait

TMI alert:

My farts are now so so stinky :( How can my ass do this to me?!? :(