Anxious over phone message from specialist midwife

[joosiewoosie]

Sorry to sound like a stress bunny or anxious annie, but can I run a few things past you all.
I got home at 4.30 to a message of the answerphone from a specialist midwife at my local hospital. She asked me to call her back tomorrow between 9 and 4 as she wants to discuss one of my blood tests.
I had my 16 week quadruple blood test last Thursday (as they couldn't do nuchal scan at 12 weeks scan due to a big fibroid in the way), and it is only the following Tuesday now. I'm really concerned that there is something not right with Bubbs due to the speed of the midwife's response and I'm already panicking and really tearful, what-iffing all over the place. I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, not being able to get hold of the specialist midwife to find what's up. I'm trying really hard not to jump to the negative, but I was told that we'd hear in a couple of weeks if all was well, so I am really worried all is not well.
What could it be? Please help me to think a bit more rationally over this. The not knowing what she is going to say when we call her is going to send me loopy tonight otherwise.
Thanks MNers. x

Thanks joosie! I phoned the screening coordinator today, you know, just in case she'd had the results and not got round to ringing me - surprisingly enough, she hadn't, they just hadn't come in yet. Said she thinks tomorrow afternoon (in the middle of my bloody meeting, no doubt!) or possibly even Friday! Oh GOD!!!
As well as potential irreparable damage to my already addled brain, I think all the crap daytime could have caused eye strain - I'm off to bathe them now. Ah, if only they knew the manifold problems this waiting caused!

Hang on in there Biccies...not long now. Sending all our good wishes xxx

Thinking of you Biccies xx

I'm thinking of you too biccies x

Thanks so much, kind mummies! Still no word - OH. MY. GOD. What is keeping them?! Feel like I could be at risk of losing my mind! Just need to know

Keeping everything crossed for you biccies.

I'm sure it will be v soon...tie a knot and hang on xx

My phonecall didn't come until late afternoon, hopefully you will hear today x

Biccies Hope you hear soon. Don't know how you are keeping sane. More chocolate?!

HURRAY!!!!!!! I had a call this afternoon letting me know that all is well with the preliminary results. Honestly, I have never been so relieved, this has defo been one of the most stressful weeks of my life.
Thank you so much to all the lovely ladies who have offered me support and encouragement, I can't tell you what a difference it has made at this difficult time.
all round! xxx
PS cupboards now entirely bare of biscuity treats and I don't even care!

Wooooooooohooooooo! Fan-bloody-tastic news!!Welcome to the 'we survived' club!
I hope you have some small celebration meal planned! Congratulations and loads of good wishes for a relaxing and trouble-free rest of your pregnancy! Stay in touch on here. I will post news of scans etc as I go and hope you both will too, Biccies and Soozy xxx

Thank you! Will defo stay in touch as we enjoy the rest of our totally plain-sailing pregnancies! Thanks again for all your kindness xxx

Great news, biccies!

Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! :o

I'm going to break open the chocolate hob nobs especially to celebrate :) :)

Definitely keep in touch x x x

great news biccies well done ladies wishing event free pregnancies :)

Wow, so pleased for all 3 of you

Thanks so much, everyone xx [having mad choc hobnobs craving - and wondering if REALLY too late/wet to send MrB out for urgent supplies??! ]

Fan bloody tastic!!!

What a great support you all were to each other during such a difficult time, a brilliant outcome, someone earlier said good things come in three's, I wish you all plain sailing for the rest of your pregnancies! x

Magic! Good on you biccies :)

I need to get this out of my system... apologies if my train of thought offends anyone (I really hope it doesn't!) but I think the amnio survivors will 'get' how I feel.

My relief and happiness is still there, but I am also feeling a bit cross about everything I / we have been through. I know the screening is only a risk guidance and not diagnostic but I can't help questioning the accuracy of it all. My screening MW said that no two measurements of risk will ever be the same, giving the example that one woman she knew of had paid for private screening which gave her very low risk results and the NHS screening (which she only took because she thought it was compulsory)gave her very high risk results. She had amnio, and all was well. In fact MOST amnio results are 'normal'. Apparently they are developing more accurate results because they recognise that the current combined screening is about 80% accurate... but that doesn't make sense if most amnio results are normal. Nuchal alone is only about 70% accurate - which in my case I wish for that 10% difference I had just had the NT because then I wouldn't have been through the hell of the last four weeks.

Since I have told people that I am pregnant and that I haven't said that I was until now because of the screening results, many of them have been through the same. And the common theme of us all? The wait was the worst, feeling unsupported in the waiting time (especially if, like me, they waited from 12w to 16w for amnio) and the relief when everything was OK. Either I haven't come across one of the 20% of women who unfortunately have a positive amnio result, or they can't / won't talk about it if it ended in medical termination (understandable).

I probably have no right at all to feel the way I do, but I have honestly spent the last 4 weeks planning what happens when I lose my baby... I was told that with my blood results (NT was normal) that my pregnancy would be high risk anyway - risk of IUGR, still birth, intrauterine death, pre-eclampsia and PPH. When I get to the consultant 4 weeks later I am told that this is all very unlikely and I should proceed as normal. Great news, obviously, but I can't help feeling angry that we were put in that position unnecessairily.

I will stop ranting now, this could go on a long while Thanks for getting this far, and again I hope I'm not speaking out of turn x x

You are right Soozy, about these tests and the way they mess up your brain.
I've had anxiety problems in the past, and this process did nothing to sustain my recovery!
I was, however, v fortunate in the time I had to wait for my amnio compared to you. My hospital and specialist midwife were superb. I think I got seen within 3 days of my result because I would have been just scraping in before legal complications if we'd had to choose to do the unthinkable. Your 4 weeks must've exacerbated the distress for you - I know how tense I was in the 3 days prior to mine. Add to this the worry that your choice to have the amnio may start a miscarriage, and its a whole lot to deal with!
The waiting time really made us think 'what if' as a reality, and assess our potential decisions very thoroughly.
It was a horrid time. Our lives were on hold completely and we just existed for that time. I am cross that we had to go through it and don't wish it on anyone. However, it was my choice to know for certain, (my anxiety meant that I never would've managed another 4 months not knowing!) and until medicine develops another sure test, I don't know if there is another way. But, YES it is crap.
The redeeming feature for me is that now I know, and can start looking forward to my Bubba. I'm relieved i don't have to learn any more about Downs or any other syndrome currently, but after all that thinking time, I now know that whatever I'm given in future, it will become a new kind of normal for us and we'll deal with it.
I know where you are coming from Soozy. I think our feelings of relief, gratefulness and then a little anger at it all are quite natural, so do not worry about that. I'm now in the 'well, that was an experience I don't want to repeat' stage, and after holding our friends' newborn the other day, am really looking forward to being a mum!
Much love to all who have been through this experience, and here's hoping the rest is plain sailing! Special hugs for you Soozy and Biccies, my amnio buddies, who made it a little less horrid, just by sharing xxx

It really has been an awful time, I don't think I could have imagined quite how bad. I'm with you soozy in the frustration over just how many women must be needlessly terrified by the results from the initial screening, have to say I find the statistics a little confusing. Mostly though, I'm cross with myself. My risk was a lot lower than some, 1 in 120 - and honestly, if I'd had the information presented in that way, I think I would have thought, "Eeek, not really ideal, but less than 1%, not reeeeeaaaally that risky..." but when the subject was broached, in an entirely unexpected phone call, mid-playdate at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon, by telling me that I was "high-risk", then moving on to possible next steps and potential end scenarios in the space of a minute and a half, I wasn't able to use my own judgement. My fault, completely, of course; I had all the facts available to me, but I do feel the language used is a little alarmist. I spoke to ARC before deciding to go ahead with the amnio, and the wonderful lady whose ear I bent for a full 50 minutes said that they were trying to discourage the health professionals who deal with women in this situation from using this term. Like you, soozy I have had nearly 4 weeks to dwell on all this... a VERY long time to drive oneself demented!
Anyway, now I am just relieved, just so thankful that my bambino seems to be healthy and looking forward to relaxing, planning for what is to come and enjoying getting rounder by the day . Lots of happy times ahead for us mums to be!
I know I have said it before, but I have been so touched by the concern, support and kindness that has been shown to me. I hope I can repay it. joosie and soozy - not a merry trio any of us wanted to join, but by golly we've all come through it - well done us! xxx

Thanks for listening joosie and biccies, you've been wonderful :)

Feeling calmer now, I think I was just feeling angry at being put in a position where I was grieving without needing too. But I am very, very grateful that I have my baby healthy and growing. Even happier that I am beginning to feel some very obvious movements - this one is a lot later than his / her sisters! And to celebrate we have been to the pram shop! Eeek how exciting :) I love planning :o

Hope you are having a fab weekend!