For mums 2 be after M/C ... PART 5!

[hewlettsdaughter]

Hi there. I was just wondering how everyone is - Ghosty, Hilary, Bogwoppit and anybody else who is pregnant after a previous miscarriage. There seems to have been a lot of sad news re pregnancies on mumsnet recently. On the one hand, I feel like I don't want to parade being pregnant in front of those who have had an m/c - on the other hand, we need to show that there are some positive stories out there!
I am 16 weeks tomorrow. Feeling ok, over the nausea I felt from about week 7 to week 12 or 13.

quackers congratulations

lazyeye I'm sure it'llll be fine, btu fingers crossed for you datign scan.

I'm ok at mo. feeling really tired today, but think I overdid it yesterday - went to disney on ice, then out for lunch & xmas shopping. Also just had a coffee morning.
Must get a nap this aft!

Still getting nausea, but not been sick yet thank god.

feel more relieved after scan even bought a few new maternity clothes yesterday soI don't have to squeeze into my normal clothes any more.

good luck to anyone I missed out!

Thanks Boggy!
Hi lazy eye. Don't worry, you never know when you actually 'conceived', even me!!. YKWIM. A heartbeat at 6-7 weeks is fantastic!!!!!!!!!

Quackers!!! Just caught up with your news - didn't realise there was a possibility you could still be pregnant after writing to you on the Another loss??? thread! Well done!!! That's fantastic . Just take it easy now - well as much as you can. You too, lazyeye.
Hi again Hilary, Bogwoppit. Ghosty - how are you doing? Resting as much as poss I hope.
I have had the cold from hell for nearly 2 weeks now - off to doc's tomorrow as it's really getting me down.

I'm fine thanks HD ... and welcome lazyeye
LE ... understand all your worries ... not much to say that can help really except that when I was in those awful early days the thing that kept me going was the absence of m/c signs rather than the presence of pg signs ....

Getting huge now ... my maternity skirt is getting tight ... still got 10 weeks to go ... Ha ha ha! Am off this morning to a friend's to borrow some more stuff! Don't see the point in buying any thing else ...

My midwife is going away for the whole of December ... very inconsiderate of her I say ... I never said she could have a holiday ! But I will be meeting the 'back up' next week.

SPD is not too bad ... but then I am not doing anything ... the furthest I am walking is from the door to the car/car to kindy and the weekly mooch around the supermarket ... bit boring really.

Umm .... no more major updates ... oh, except I had a GTT test last week (to test for Gest. Diabetes ... have no symptoms but as DS was such a large baby the M/W wanted to eliminate it this time) ... no results yet so I think we can rule it out.

Quackers .... will you be having an early scan this time? Hope so ...

HD ... glad you are feeling ok ...

Hilary ... 25 weeks ... wow! Where has the time gone???

Ghosty, that's a graet way of putting it! I will remember that. No news is good news then basically. Ghosty, Glad you're doing well, I remember you being 7/8 weeks!!!!! Yes I will get first scan at 7 weeks. Might ask to wait till 8 though. Doc's on Thursday. They are going to send me to consultant. Fingers crossed for everyone. xxx

Hi Ghosty - just wanted to say hello after I spotted your other thread. Have been so involved with DD2 (and millions of other things) that haven't really ventured into the other areas of mumsnet for ages. So glad things are going well for you. Can't wait for your announcment!

And Quackers - sounds like you've been through the mill again but CONGRATULATIONS! I'll be thinking of you. Hugs.

Part 5!!!!!!!!

Hello

I tested positive four days ago after a miscarriage earlier in the year. I was so delighted to begin with - but now feel rather depressed. I'm finding it hard to take this pregnancy seriously until I know it's a "keeper". I keep taking pg tests (have done 3 now) and while the result are getting "stronger", I somehow can't believe that it all won't go wrong again.

Has anyone ever felt like this?

I know I should feel delighted and happy - but don't. Hence the nickname

Sorry I should have made it clear, it's not anxiety, more akin to "What's the point of bothering to get excited?"

Ungrateful, I'm deeply anxious. I have had 2 losses this year and whilst this pgcy has started well, I'm falling further and further into panick. For one reason and another I feel this is slipping away again. I'll just have to sit tight and wait. It's so tough. I couldn't cope if it all went wrong again. I'll feel like I've been in recovery from m/c for the whole year. What a waste. HUgs to you {{{}}}}

Kathryn, it's grt to hear from you! Glad you;re ok!!

Ungrateful, dont add to your worries by imagining what you are feeling is wrong or ungrateful. It is so normal after a miscarriage. After lsoing a baby I dont think any woman can relax and enjoy her pregnancy. Look after yourself and look forward to some reassuring scans in a few weeks.

Quacks, you too. I am sending lots of good vibes to you. Keep well. Love Bxxx

Dear ungrateful ...

I do know how you feel ... I just couldn't get excited about my pregnancy at first. I was happy when I first found out but then after a week I dived into a sea of worry and misery ... I think I started a thread somewhere about how terrified I was and how I just couldn't get my head around it all until I had seen a heart beat and everything.
Luckily everyone on Mumsnet was lovely and supportive (as usual) and I have a great midwife who sent me for a scan at 9 weeks as I just couldn't get through to 12 ....
You are not ungrateful, ungrateful, you are normal ... try to take each day as it comes and plan things that will take your mind off it (Quackers ... you could do this too ) ... talk to your EPU about an early scan ... and do what I did which was concentrate on the lack of m/c signs rather than the presence of pregnancy signs ...
Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs your way {{{{{}}}}}

Hi ungrateful, I know exactly how you feel. I think you are just protecting yourself because you know how you felt when things went wrong last time. I remember in my first few weeks of pregnancy I didn't want to think/talk too much about the due date or anything, it just seemed so far away. You just have to hang in there (easy to say I know!). Ghosty's advice to plan things to take your mind off the pregnancy is good.
Quackers, can you articulate why you feel this pregnancy is slipping away again? Might it just be that you are trying to think the worst too, in order to protect yourself?
Thinking of you both xx

Hi HD, how are you?? Thankyou for your post. I appreciate all your experinces of pgcy after m/c! I just was stupid enough (I know, pls don't shout!) to keep on temping and there has been a steady drop, also symptoms were lessening. I have given DH my thermometer, so can't look anymore. Anyway, bit calmer today and just focussing on what I will do if it does go wrong. I want something positive to happen.
Ungrateful, how are you today??

Ungrateful. I had my last mc on 31 St October last year (that made 3 altogether but also 2 babies). I discovered I was pg again just before Christmas - but I'd already started bleeding when I did the pg test. I spent the whole christmas period simmering away to myself convinced I'd already lost another baby and thinking things like " I may as well drink as there is no point taking care". I went for a scan at 9wks to confirm the loss and there was my baby (now 13 weeks old) but I was still convinced it would go wrong even after my 12 wk scan and the whole pg was anxious. Its never the same after a loss. You just have to take one day at a time. Try not to think about symptoms. Lack of them doesn't mean a loss and bleeding doesn't always mean a loss either but despite everyone else telling you this you won't really beleive it.

I found so much support on mumsnet and typing away messages everyday helped me move on day by day until suddenly I was a mum again. Take heart and just don't beat yourself up about the way you feel - you are totally normal. Hugs

I sympathise and understand what all of you are saying here. Everyday is a rollercoaster for me. I seem to start off the day convinced I have lost my p/g - no morn sickness, no sore boobs. By late morning the sickness is creeping in and by nightime I feel yuk. Maybe I am still pg. Its a nightmare - I know I won't stop worrying until I have a baby given to me. Pg after mc/ is a total different ball game.........one day at a time is all i can do.

I also can't believe a baby can survive my lifestyle - 2 kids under 3 and a p/t job - I never sit down - is this bad for the baby??

Anyway, I'm hoping for all of us and all those babies. Keep safe.

It really is a shame that for those who have had previous m/c that subsequent pregnancies are frought with anxiety and tension and moments like some of you are describing. It's awful to have the excitement and joy that we (you) really should be experiencing with everything else instead. It really isn't fair.
hana

Quackers, I don't know much about temping but I didn't really get symptoms in my first few weeks. Sounds like you made a positive decision to try and worry less by handing over your thermometer - well done!
Lazyeye - I think your body 'prioritises' ie it looks after the baby first. You need to make sure you make some time for yourself though.

Hana, thanks for your words. Katherine, how are you doing now? How is the latest addition to your family?

Hello worry wort here again. This one is starting to bug me. With 2 other successful pgs, at this stage (9 weeks) I was up at least once a night going to the loo and lots more during the day than normal. This one, I don't have to get up during the night at all. This worry is compounded by the fact that when I had an early scan at what I knew should have been 7+5 they dated me at between 6-7 weeks. Is this baby not growing?
I have a lot of sickness, boobs etc.

I would have thought that as this is my 3rd the pressure on my bladder would have been even greater.........urghhhhhhhhh worry worry worry.

Oh lazyeye ... poor you ... I am feeling guilty for moaning now ...
Note to self ...
STOP BEING A MISERABLE OLD BAG AND START THINKING OF OTHERS ....

Can you get another scan? I had a scan at 9 weeks and I am so relieved that I did because I just didn't see how I could get throught the 3 weeks to the magic 12 week mark ...
Do you have an EPU near you??

Don't be daft Ghosty, I think you have plenty cause to whinge....pregnancy is bloody hard going with another one to look after.

Yeah, its starting to bug me a bit so I think I might ask the m/wife. I'm sure they will think I'm a paranoid old cow, but something doesn't feel quite right just now. Ho hum.

Well 5.1 weeks today, it sounds so early and I feel like I've been pg for ages!! My first hurdle is Sunday. That's when I m/c the last one. How are you all?xxx

Hi quackers ...
All fine here bar a few discomforts ... slipped coming out of the shower the other day and spent the rest of the day in tears due to SPD flare up ... felt like I had been kicked in the foof by a donkey!
Midwife appt went well yesterday ... she says all is well and baby is now head down ... can't believe that this time last year I was recovering from my m/c and d & c and now I have only 9 weeks to go ....
It will happen for you guys ... honestly ... just take one day at a time ...
Hugs
Ghosty {{{}}}
Was listening to Eric Clapton's Tears from Heaven yesterday and had some emotional moments wondering about my lost baby up there and whether (as in the song) I would recognise her/him ... decided not to relay those thoughts to DH as he thinks I am over imaginative enough ...

hey quackers hang on in there, i want you to stick around on the july thread. i am here under false pretenses as have been fortunate enough not to suffer a miscarriage yet but i have had threatened m/c for past couple of weeks (i wonder if the doctors/nurses etc know what effect those words have on us? i want to send my love to you all and wish you all good luck..Lazyeye, i had a scan yesterday and they dated me at 6.4 but i know when i ovulated and my dates i think are really 7.4 so now i am panicking that the baby is too small.

Hi again! Lovely to hear from you. Ghosty, I'm amazed how far you've come. It's seems like yesterday, you were saying you were 5/6 weeks. Glad you;re ok and not suffering too much after your slip.xx
Madgirl, I have been following your news (somewhere?), I do know that it is possible to have ov symptoms twice in a month, but only ov once, or even twice, if both sides produce an egg. 2 months ago, I had ov symptoms, but only ov'd about 10 days later after further symptoms. They got a heartbeat did they at your scan??? I know this is the time when sometimes they can and sometimes it's a bit early. I am thinking of you. Do keep posting. What will happen now? Are you booked in again?