pregnancy guilt is endless.....amnesty zone

[georgethecat]

accidentally took an ibruprofen
lost my temper with partner x 362 & counting
goat cheese tart incident
work stress
sleeping in wrong position
shouting rude words in road rage - daily
failing to wash bagged salad
occasional cheeky glass of wine
not playing classical music to bump
insomnia

According to research my child will be psychologically, emotionally and physically damaged in some way....the stress of the guilt should be added to the list ("~)

Oooh goody, just discovered this!

• not taking prescribed aspirin to prevent (non existent) high blood pressure
• not buying new buggy just cos of all the backward/forward facing furore
• not properly washing veg dug straight from cowshit covered allotment (extra flavour!)
• wondering if some items of food might be on the banned list and then gobbling it anyway
• still being a bit relaxed about use by dates on food (although not quite as much as before)
• lifting and carrying terrified, 3 stone dog into the garden for a wee on bonfire night because he refused to go outside on his own
• no pelvic floor excercises done last pg or this time either despite it being a disaster zone. Just CANNOT be arsed with the clenching regime.
• having 2 glasses of wine a week and resting them on bump

Phew! Offloaded.

PS Can't compete with you goat and sheep fanciers. Respect

Your DH took a goat home????

Ok so I'm glad I found this list I too have had a cake mix incident - so used to scraping the bowl it was an unconcious action - and attempted to make myself sick to get rid of it!

Then there was the Brie panini incident and the rare steak - which I ended up passing to DH cos the guilt was just too much. All the above kept me awake with worry. I know, I'm a twit.

Didn't know about Diet Coke tho, I have one can a day and always have done thought that as it was well under the caffiene limit that was ok. Now I'm killing my baby with sweetner - oh joy. And what's the deal with flippin bacon??

Oh and MW told me canestan was perfectly ok - better than Thrush anyday.

The only joy left is no exercise thanks to pelvis and eat as much shit food as I like (getting fat anyway).

No time to read them all, but it's not just pregnancy - the whole of motherhood is about guilt and media/judgey pants people telling you that whatever choices you make your children will be irrevocably damaged. I've stopped caring!

Fab thread guys, love it!
My 'confessions'?
Pushing the 2 units alcohol to the limit
Soft boiled eggs
Far, far too much sugar
Pelvic floor exercises forgotten more days than remembered
Bad BAD temper ALL the time
PLEASE tell me this gets better after little one arrives (yet another one who was pleased the baby got his bits out to show the ultrasonograper!

I shall confess my sins:

Regular runny eggs
Ditto rare meat
Cravings for blue cheese
And diet coke
Exceeded 2 units on more than one occasion
Bucket loads of salt
Tea by the gallon
Barely ate a vegetable for first 3 months
Desperate for a girl
DD 8 weeks old now, fit as a fiddle.

Love this thread.

Main guilt trips have been related to:

• Having had a funny turn and bought knitting needles and wool last month when suddenly overcome with the desite to knit a hat for my baby. The urge passed quickly. I don't know how to knit and feel a bit guilty that my baby could have a lovingly made hat from my fair hands but wont. *work/moving/tax man stress *Eating too much tuna / excessive amounts of hula hoops *Had a glass of champagne on 2 occasions (it was free and I won't turn down bubbles on principle as not something you get offered every day) *Forgotten more times than not to wear the bell around my tummy my SiL gave me to bring gentle calm to the baby - come home and tinkle it for 2 mins constantly in the hope concentrated tinkling has the same effect as spreading it across the day.

Am shortly off for a glass of wine with my Mum, and then for a dinner which involves brie and parma ham.

Have enjoyed runny eggs/raw eggs in chocolate mousse throughout.

Coke Zero is the nectar of the Gods, followed closely by the freshly ground super coffee I drink every morning.

Feel slightly guilty but then I beat said guilt with a very large stick I keep for said occasions.

Have actually really enjoyed being pregnant!

Ready to confess:
Crying in first trimester from pain/sickness and saying the terrible words "don't think I can do this..."
Only eating mini cheddars, jacket potatoes and cheese for first 12 weeks
No pelvic floor exercises done
Not talking/singing/reading to bump or playing soothing classical music
Hot baths
Sleeping on back, on right hand side, on DH
Moving house and shifting furniture around
Overdoing it and then whining when tired
Having a white wine spritzer and getting evil eye from MIL
Walking through fields of sheep with lambs in
Slouching on sofa instead of sitting on birth ball trying to get in a good position
Oh dear :o

Too much caffine
Not enough protein or iron (don't like meat)
Not getting to bed early enough
Dying hair
Not using stretch Mark stuff daily
Wearing ill fitting bras
Hating everything and everyone
Eating things that I know will cause funny blood sugars (T1 diabetic)

Love this thread. Especially as my sisters were pregnancy obsessives.
Last time I slept on my back owing to torturous pain when sleeping on side (ok if you prop up on enough pillows), drank the odd glass after nausea faded at 20 weeks.

This time (as last time) I am eating far too much - eating is the only thing that keeps nausea livable with.
Not feeling pregnancy joy - am just too ill feeling - will the baby grow up feeling unwanted?

I like this story for all bacon worriers www.nhs.uk/news/2010/01January/Pages/bacon-eggs-pregnancy-baby-brain-boost.aspx

Too much caffeine (but I excuse this on the grounds that less would be detrimental to the health of my other children)

Runny cheese galore

Not doing pelvic floor exercises

Not eating oily fish

ItrytobeZen - a bell around your tummy? Really?? Intrigued. Tell us more.

I would like to add to my above list, that I have just been to the garage and spent £20 on chocolate / sweets and crisps so i can sit and watch children in need with supplies..... and I don't care. Its heaven in a sugar rush!!

Mozzarella/stilton/nuts officially all fine in pregnancy, so that takes away a bit of guilt ;)

A touch worried about all the pate scoffing. Runny eggs and risking salmonella is one thing, but pate=vit a causes birth defects in excess :S

My food aversions in the first trimester (and much of the second) seem to have consisted mostly of vegetables. Was gutted to discover that the 5 a day have to be 5 different things. Am now about able to coke a salad down, but only if it's next to lasagne or something equally lardy.

Haven't been drinking enough water.

Have generally been a miserable cow and have totally taken it out on DH. The misery has begun to lift (since about 20 weeks) but still have my moments... I am going to get him something very lovely when baby arrives. He never rises to the bait, just tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. Now I want to cry.

Oh yeah, crying at everything. Then worrying that whatever horrible hormones are being produced by that are going to have a lasting impact on my baby and feeling horribly guilty about that. Then crying more. Oh god...

Way too much caffeine
Way too much sugar
Not enough protein
Dying hair
Not eating my 5 a day
Eating peanuts with everyone around me telling me how awful it is
Too much tuna
Not enough water
Sleeping on my back

I don't know how to feel about the above. Part of me doesn't want to stress about little things that probably won't be harmful, but the other part is losing sleep that I'm already a terrible mother :(

bluemousemummy the bell is a teeny tiny lightly tingling thing in silver with a red heart on it = very pretty actually = that my SiL used in her own pregnancy. The theory is that the baby gets used to it whilst in the womb and finds it calming so when it's here and he/she is upset you can tingle the bell and it'll bring calmness and reassurance.

It has no scientific grounding in the lightest but I'm happy to wear it as will give anything a try and it was a lovely, thoughful gift and it may work, you never know. But it has to sit on a long cord right on the bump under your clothes and in virtually all my clothes as my bump is low it looks like a really sticky outy belly button. I keep taking it off for a bath/shower etc and losing it as going through a bit of vague phase.

I am attempting to remain shockingly guilt free despite the terrible trauma My unborn child is clearly suffering. My list goes something like this:

• refusing to give up runny eggs or Brie as they are both just too damn yummy
• regularly eating food that has probably been sitting in the fridge for far to long
• going to one yoga class but being so put off by the poetry and belly rubbing I have never been to another
• having no intention of decorating a nursery at all, let along coming up with some sort of theme.
• developing a terrible mocha habit
• I have just noticed a few people mentioning too much tuna. I didn't even realise this was bad and had massive tuna cravings for much of the first trimester. I ate buckets of the stuff

oh dear...until i read this i didn't know i had anything to feel guilty for

1. whats wrong with mozarella? seriously? and goats cheese?
2. ummmm, bagged salad is washed already... surely!? thats why i buy it in a bag.
3. moaning, whinging and picking on DH for nothing and then blaming MS and pointing out he doesn't have to puke all day and acting a complete matyr when i am the one who gets a year off hated work and he has to pay for it!
4. i want a girl. i'll love a boy, but he will have to wear stripey tights.
5. not reading a single book or midwives notes. i am however on this forum... which i think counts?

... and this is my first so no excuses! I like to think its more important to be a happy mopther that a fastidious one :)

Wow, I love this thread, thank you. Finally I can offload the guilt!

1. drinking a whole glass of wine on my birthday...and a few other special occasions
2. eating some lobster (who would pass up free lobster on holiday?!) sleeping on my front
3. not reading any books to prepare me for motherhood
4. not doing any exercise to the point where i'm out of breath even thinking about exercise!
5. not doing pelvic floor exercises-see above!
6. getting sunburnt on holiday
7. generally eating rubbish food that doesnt contain enough nutrients and having only chocolate for lunch today at work
8. waking up on my front-terrified that i am going to squash the baby and distort its limbs

...hmmm don't even dare think of anything else to admit to....please forgive me baby!

Why would anyone feel guilty about insomnia or work stress? Hardly something you can control!

I don't feel guilty about anything even though I could tick a few off the lists going round.

-- Drink way more than 1-2 units a week. But still less than what has been scientifically proven to harm unborn baby.
-- tea, coffee, coke
-- rare steak
-- runny eggs
-- sushi
-- henerallymeatinng crab carbs all day long
-- hardly any exercise compared to first 2 babies

Only good thing is I managed to stop smoking. Phew.

Er, that's supposed to be "generally eating crap carbs all day long". Silly iPad.

i had an amazing runny poached egg on sunday followed by a very large glass of wine and I thoroughlly enjoyed both

I wont stop licking the bowl after baking a cake for anyone

I had eggs benedict for lunch today but I don't think it counts as the yolks were pretty much solid and I don't think the hollendaise sauce was homemade. Normally they wank on about something being homemade in a menu, don't they?