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Original poster

anyone else getting a hard time for not wanting to breastfeed

308 replies

kiki22 · 09/09/2011 21:54

I've been getting it from all directions for not wanting to breastfeed and am finding it very hard not to give in to the pressure, My reasons for not wanting to breastfeed are that i have back problems and will need to be on painkillers am currently only on paracetamol and in constant pain can not be in this pain with a baby and i may not always be able to do all feeds if i am in to much pain anyway, also i have a very stong bond with my niece which i believe came from being able to feed her as a baby and would not want to deprive DP of that experiance since i enjoyed it so much.

I keep being asked 'why do u not even want to try it's best for your baby' and on a few occations 'is it not worth the pain to do the best for baby' finding it very very hard not to crack under the disaproving looks has anyone else had to deal with shit over not BF??

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zumm · 13/09/2011 22:06

Brewster it's ok - your kid will be ok.
BUT STOP FUCKING TAKING IT OUT ON PEOPLE WHO BF.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:21

errrmmmm - calm down Zumm.
I am totally happy with all my parenting decisions.
My boy is totally amazingly fantastic and so will our new baby be.

I am simply fighting my corner and that of all the other women out there who make these decisions and beating down the bf brigade and putting you all in your place where you belong....no better than anyone else.

Get off your moral high horse and walk the streets with everyone else.

zumm · 13/09/2011 22:31

Wooh - Brew. Gentle, grrrl. I've got no moral horse. Yes, BF is fantastic and great for the kid. But as you say, your kid is, quote, amazingly fantastic. I wish mine were. OK he is. But why are you even getting all worked up? Just stop it. There are definite advantages to BF (and you know them all, I'm sure) but the mantra is always happy parent, happy kid. SO there. We're on the same side ok. Just quit your BF attack ok. Nazi pfff.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:37

It is not an attack it is me standig up for my beliefs.

I have NEVER seen any concrete evidence that bf is better.

Yes we may be on the same side as in happy parent happy kid but I will not ever just roll over and let all this nonesense keep being splashed about EVERYWHERE. It makes me furious.

I was made to feel weird for my choices with feeding and it is wrong.
The stories on here told by these women who chose to ff arte awful.

How dare people ever ask you what you are feeding your bub or why....

Anyway...this thrad has gone on long enough I think so ....
Good luck to the OP and congrats on your pregnancy. Whatever choices you make make them from your heart and with the best intentions and they will be the right ones

TheHouseofMirth · 13/09/2011 22:41

Brewster I don't understand how you can believe that another animal's milk, which needs to be chemically altered to make it edible for human babies, is not intrinsically an artificial food for infants.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:43

Artificial brings up images of plastic and tubes and the like.

Read the article...... enlighten yourself

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 22:46

Doesnt the article say what we all know:

'If a mother can breastfeed, that is best for the baby.

'But it isn't a guarantee that you will have a permanently thin, beautiful, intelligent, healthy child.

'Breastfeeding is good but it is a very small part of your child's overall health.'

zumm · 13/09/2011 22:48

Brew - but we all get asked how we're feeding the kid. And I agree, it's no one's bleedin biz. FWIW I'm getting slated for bf past a year at the mo. (Kid just broke arm, various pro-FF rellies are suggesting it's because he's BF and lacking vitamins ug etc.)
So it's not just you who gets a hard time. Someone previously suggested that the OP keeps her feeding plans to herslef. And I think that's the way it sd be. Really.
I could turn your whole post around to refer to me: made to feel weird and wrong, told I'm awful for BF, dare to ask whether I'm disgusting enough to BF past year one. And on it goes. The facts are out there which is why I have gone with BF, which is why I ignore it, but may be why you are so furious. But maybe not - sounds like you have a very healthy and happy kid. Really, we all do what's best for our kids - whatever that may be.

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 22:48

Artificial: Made or produced by human beings rather than occurring naturally, typically as a copy of something natural:

zumm · 13/09/2011 22:49

Hahahahah Daily Mail. I go now.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:50

women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6718276.ece

very interesting....

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 22:52

Click the 'Convert links automatically' tickbox. Saves copy and pasting! :)

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:53

well my point has been made....

i am off.

zumm · 13/09/2011 22:55

Oh god. Look, I'm a journalist. And a PhD. So big into research. What can I say.What does the NHS say? You like your links so link to our NHS. www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding/Pages/health-benefits-for-baby.aspx

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 22:56

Problem for me with articles like that is they're over 2 years old based on even older studies.(Medicle advice changes constantly) Anything more up to date?

Brewster · 13/09/2011 22:56

Did you see the last one and how the NHS is full of shite?
The NHS is not something I have much trust or faith in so.......

TheHouseofMirth · 13/09/2011 23:02

poster Brewster Tue 13-Sep-11 22:43:59
Artificial brings up images of plastic and tubes and the like.

Read the article...... enlighten yourself

Brewster don't you think
this formula manufacturing plant? is a bit artificial looking?

And thanks but if I'm seeking any kind of enlightenment I certainly won't be looking for it in the Daily Mail!

zumm · 13/09/2011 23:18

Look, to my mind, Brewster, I imagine you have regrets - 'the Lady doth protest too much'.
House - I think leave it.
Ultimately, if you've BF you have nothing to prove. If you choose to FF - in the West, at least - it's not a bad deal for your kid.
However, I stand by my belief that BF is massive. If you do BF it's a huge part of your relationship with your child. It's also to be encouraged, which I guess is what Brew has experienced (re pro BF messages).
But Brew sd know that this is in fact a world that currently favours FF (love those ads - particularly those that my mother tells me to watch).
PS Having said this, I think up to 6 months ple are pro BF, after 6 months, boy do the tables turn.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 23:22

I think after 3 months the tables turn. The baby isn't a "newborn" anymore and it starts to be seen as obscene etc

zumm · 13/09/2011 23:28

God yeh, you're right Surprise! 3 months. On the tit. It's disgusting innit. I do remember my mother saying 'you've done 6 weeks, that's enough now.' Hum.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 23:58

Can be really useful to bf. I had to make a return at TKMAXX and the shop assistant was refusing to do so. DD (6months) started screaming in hunger. I asked the shop assistant if she would mind, she was very polite and said she was ok with me feeding whilst we discussed the issue. At some point the lady must have caught DD attention as she latched off without warning to look at her and all this milk leaked straight onto the counter. She gave me the refund straight away. I was very embarrassed though!!!
The worst comment I got from family members were how spoilt she was goig to be. What does one thing have to do with the other?

Brewster · 14/09/2011 09:06

zumm...my only regret is that i tried for so long and was starving my son!

I protest so much cos i want my point across and most people 'give ' this one to the bfeeders.

My hubby and i had a long chat about it last night and we see NO benefit to the child.
FYI read an article that said if you continue after 4months your kid could become anaemic cos bm doesnt have enough iron in it.

The teeny tiny health benefits (of which they brainwash you to beleive there are loads - and truefully there are about 2 minusucle ones) in my mind and my husbands and many people i know are not worth the huge draw backs of bf.

As for saying the bonding is a huge part for mother and child ...oh my god do not even get me started on what a ridiculous statement that is.
My bond with my son is so strong and utterly unbelieveable and could not be stronger.
The bf however was causing us NOT to bond when he was tiny.

SurprisEs · 14/09/2011 10:10

Brewster, I really haven't got a problem with people FF their babies. I have my opinions on it but they were used so I could make MY choice for MY baby and in no wayto make others feel inferior.
You on the other hand, and I don't think you notice this, are coming across as bitter and as though bf is the sin of sins.
You claim you say this things to stick up for the poor women that get criticised for their choice to FF but your posts on this thread have often come across us criticism to bfeeding mothers. You are doing the same thing as what you call bf Nazis. I'm aware they're around but maybe we should put you in the same category as them and change the name to feeding Nazis.

I'm sure that article refered to EBF not the breastmilk itself as there are plenty of children who need to be weaned at 4 months.

You are not doing FF mothers a favour , you are IMO letting them down. Just say plain and simple: I chose to FF, it was the best for my baby, do with yours as you please. It really isn't hard.

pommedechocolat · 14/09/2011 10:15

SuprisE's - Agreed, except in the context of mumsnet where an OP asking for advice on how to stop people giving her a hard time for not wantint to bf is met with posts trying to convince the OP to give bf a go! If that hadn't happened on this thread then it is a lot less likely that the dubious 'bf nazi' comments would have been rolled out.

So, in the style of a 3 year old, they started it!