Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13

Original poster

anyone else getting a hard time for not wanting to breastfeed

308 replies

kiki22 · 09/09/2011 21:54

I've been getting it from all directions for not wanting to breastfeed and am finding it very hard not to give in to the pressure, My reasons for not wanting to breastfeed are that i have back problems and will need to be on painkillers am currently only on paracetamol and in constant pain can not be in this pain with a baby and i may not always be able to do all feeds if i am in to much pain anyway, also i have a very stong bond with my niece which i believe came from being able to feed her as a baby and would not want to deprive DP of that experiance since i enjoyed it so much.

I keep being asked 'why do u not even want to try it's best for your baby' and on a few occations 'is it not worth the pain to do the best for baby' finding it very very hard not to crack under the disaproving looks has anyone else had to deal with shit over not BF??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

choceyes · 13/09/2011 10:22

Moomin- well nearly 3 years ago when i bought a tin of Aptamil for my DS as I had to give him a few formula top ups in the early days, it said so on the front of the box.

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 10:26

Well I have one here and it doesn't say anywhere that breast milk is superior

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 10:29

I haven't read the whole thread so I apologise if this has been said.

I breastfed DD until she was 13 months. From day one I was criticised for it. Including ignoran comments that I was spoiling my child.

My point is that once you become a parent all of a sudden everyone thinks they are entitled to an opiniOn and that they know better.

Stick to what you believe is best for your family. Not for you, bot for your baby, not for your husband, but for the three of you as a unit.

Personal opinion is that you should try it at least for the 3 days colostrum is there, BUT this is not criticism and I don't think you should feel bad for whatever decision you make. Huge sacrifice will come with having a child, no matter your circumstances, so I understand why people may think you should still do it. But the decision is yours and should be guilt free.

choceyes · 13/09/2011 10:33

i remember it saying something about breastfeeding being best for baby. that's what I can remember. i think by law formula manufacturers do have to state it somewhere.

are you really saying that breastmilk is not superior to formula (putting aside the actual breastfeeding and the probelms a mum might have with it making FF the better choice for her)?

In that case I don't want to argue anymore on that, as it's like saying the earth is flat.

flaminglip · 13/09/2011 10:34

Wow, threatening violence?!

Hope for gods sake you're one of the Mumsnet users that don't have children!

I am aware my opinion may be considered provocative and i am prepared to stand by it.

A new baby has every right to expect its mother to put their needs above her own, anything less is detrimental to the baby's survival. Please read Sue Gerhardts book "Why Love Matters" for more info.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 10:36

Another thing I hate to see is people dumbing down others that believe breastfeeding is best. Sounds extremely defensive and is on the same level as those criticising people that bottlefeed. Just let people do as they please.

I don't think people realise how bad breastfeeding mothers have it in this society. There is this deluded idea that they are seen as holy and snobby.
I was made to feel like a freak at times.
Mothers have it tough, end of. We should be sticking up for each other, not making it even harder!

MrUmble · 13/09/2011 10:41

"Hope for gods sake you're one of the Mumsnet users that don't have children!"

Flaminglip... what an utterly stupid and horrible thing to say.

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 10:41

And if you read who guidelines on manufacturing and advertising formula it has to be clearly stated that breastfeeding is better for baby's so formula company's arnt agreeing that breast is best, they have to say that to be able to sell it

MrUmble · 13/09/2011 10:43

Flaminglip... a newborn baby has the right to expect that a mother will do whats right in their unique situation. That includes NOT breastfeeding.

choceyes · 13/09/2011 10:44

erm, if formula companies don't think that breastmilk is best, why do they spend all their time, spending millions of pounds on research, trying to copy it?!

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 10:46

Agreed SurprisEs.

I havent made my decision yet and its not great reading all the negatives and nasty comments.

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 10:46

There have been no noticeable benefits to my bf son compared to my ff son so no I'm not going to say breast milk is better because in my experiance regarding my children one has not been better than the other

AlpinePony · 13/09/2011 10:48

choceyes Because people got all judgemental when they released formula in chocolate flavour. :(

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 10:52

Erm maybe because guidelines state that formula has to be as close a substitute to breast milk as possible

choceyes · 13/09/2011 10:55

In my exprience, my DS who was given breastmilk only till 11 months, got a lot more sick when he started nursery (around the same time as I stopped giving him BM) and got all the bugs from nursery, but so far my DD who is still nursing hasn't had any illnesses. Same nursery.

So there we go.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 10:56

Crosshair I'm one of those that can go on for hours about how great -and exhausting- breastfeeding is and definitely I think breast is best. But I wouldn't dream of giving another mum a hard time for whatever decision they made. And I think a woman should be able to choose wether she's going to listen to all the boring stuff I've got to say,lol. I hate forceful caracters.

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 10:57

Well my bf son is the only one of my children so far to develope asthma but I'm not going to blame the breast milk

MrUmble · 13/09/2011 10:57

choceyes, how old is DD?

MrUmble · 13/09/2011 10:59

Well I know people who bf and their little one has asthma, eczema and two serious food allergies (shes 3 now).

choceyes · 13/09/2011 10:59

well ofcourse, as breastmilk is the standard, the holy grail of infant milk as it where.

mumt1 · 13/09/2011 11:00

kiki22 has came on here to ask for experiences not criticism, everyone is entitled to their own opinions but should respect that everyone has different views, we are all individuals and all make our own decisions in life, has it occured to some of u that some people like myself wernt able to breastfeed? Even if she can, its completely her choice and ppl should respect that. A mothers natural instinct is to do what it thinks would be the best thing for her baby, whether its the overall best way doesn't matter in certain situations. She needs support, not arguments and criticism, what about if any of u had ur baby and couldn't breastfeed no matter the situation. You would want support.

choceyes · 13/09/2011 11:02

DD is 13 months.

So you know a child who was BF and has illness and your point is MrUmble?

cowboylover · 13/09/2011 11:06

Crosshair I agree that sometimes I find it hard to tell sometimes what anicdotal and what's science! Even then there's always 2 sides of the argument.

I have said before that I breastfeed and all of my friends formula feed and when I go around there houses and offer to help make up the bottle if they have there hands full and I find it a faff but that might just be because I'm not used to it but found all the 70 degree stuff scary! I breastfeed because it is better for MY baby. She was in SCBU for 4 days and once she could breath on her own the next challenge was feeding her and we tried loads of different formulas and she could not keep it down only when I tried breastfeeding did it stay down so that's what I did. Believe me that after the delivery I had and how weak I felt I would have been happy to let the nurses feed her.

Yes I get annoyed with the stereotypes of feeding and yes I will continue to say I breastfeed because it's what's best for MY baby because it is and I feel for anyone that feels the need to so aggressively defend our choices.

Surprises You put it better than me!

Flaming What a truely horrible thing to say and no discussion should contain that!

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 11:06

A persons health is affected by more then one factor in life. I find it ignorant from both sides that say it is the reason that their children are so amazingly ok and the ones that refuse to give breastfeeding it's credits. You are both wrong.

My daughter was in hospital at 3 weeks old with gastroenteritis. She was breastfed. It didn't stop her from getting sick but it was easier for her digestive track to recover whilst being fed breastmilk than if I gave her formula as it is (and that's fact) harder for the human body to process. So let's stop arguing and accept everyone makes different choices. Parenting is hard enough as it is.

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 11:07

Well what was your point that your child started getting ill when you stopped bf

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13