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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

anyone else getting a hard time for not wanting to breastfeed

308 replies

kiki22 · 09/09/2011 21:54

I've been getting it from all directions for not wanting to breastfeed and am finding it very hard not to give in to the pressure, My reasons for not wanting to breastfeed are that i have back problems and will need to be on painkillers am currently only on paracetamol and in constant pain can not be in this pain with a baby and i may not always be able to do all feeds if i am in to much pain anyway, also i have a very stong bond with my niece which i believe came from being able to feed her as a baby and would not want to deprive DP of that experiance since i enjoyed it so much.

I keep being asked 'why do u not even want to try it's best for your baby' and on a few occations 'is it not worth the pain to do the best for baby' finding it very very hard not to crack under the disaproving looks has anyone else had to deal with shit over not BF??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

diyvspse · 13/09/2011 14:46

people who get hung up about BF their own child and go on about the lengths they went to to ensure not a drop of formula touched their lips are bo-ring. So long as they only obsess about their own baby I can empathise, they believe they're doing the right thing.

But people who get evangelical about BF are intolerable.

There are far more important things you can do developmentally for a child than BF them. For eg, I would say it's more important to read to your baby than BF them.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 14:49

yep the list is endless to what is more beneficial than bf.

choceyes · 13/09/2011 14:55

Reading to your baby and BF aren't mutually exclusive you know. YOu can do both. Especially like I did when I BF my DD and read DS a book at the same time
and it is difficult to do that while you FF!

Moominsarescary · 13/09/2011 15:04

Difficult but not impossible though

Brewster · 13/09/2011 15:10

pat yourself on the back for being so fabulous ChocEyes.
Go shine your halo

choceyes · 13/09/2011 15:19

I was only doing the best for my children though, but thanks Brewster!

wigglesrock · 13/09/2011 15:20

Why is it hard to tell a child a story and ff at the same time? I either got my elder child to flick the page, they liked doing this or I held bottle in the same hand as I was holding the baby to flick the page.

CurlyCasper · 13/09/2011 15:32

Just do what you want to do and ignore them!

I was in a similar situation, having had to stop my rheumatoid arthritis drugs for pregnancy. I just made up my mind to BF for as long as I could. Be it two days, two weeks, or more. As it was, I managed 7 weeks before I had to go back on my meds. But I did feel that I had to keep explaining why I had stopped BFing.

If I have another child, I might end up pumping like mad and storing as much as I can to feed by bottle. But I won't justify my choices to anyone other than myself.

I was on a ward with another mum who chose to FF from the start, and nobody batted an eyelid.

marthamay · 13/09/2011 15:57

Wowzer....some serious viciousness on here....kind of funny but pretty sad. OP, I hope you have given up reading this thread long ago!

ExpensivePants · 13/09/2011 16:08

How is it difficult to read to your child and ff at the same time?? What a ridiculous statement! :o I read perfectly well and easily to my nieces when I was feeding. Is it somehow harder if it's biologically your child?

Mad...

marthamay · 13/09/2011 16:16

It's very difficult to read to your child and BF at the same time....eek. I'm not sure why you would though....

usualsuspect · 13/09/2011 16:49

This thread is in the pregnancy topic

I thought this was supposed to be a supportive topic?

Brewster · 13/09/2011 17:18

Hhahahhaa - supportive....on Mn!!

You gotta be joking!

marthamay · 13/09/2011 17:24

I find mn extremely supportive and it has been wonderful, especially when dealing with mc etc. Generally people are very kind (yes OP, really).

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 18:00

''I find mn extremely supportive.''

Yeah its a shame people get bored and need to cause a stir.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 18:23

i presume you mean me Crosshair.

I can assure you it has nothing to do with boredom...I am standing up for my rights and my beliefs.
I am a very supportive friend to those I call friends and am tired of other women not being supportive and helpful to those around them.

We all have it tough in this world and in theory no one should know how tough but the other women and mothers yet they seem to be the biggest critics.

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 18:28

Not just you, various people.

Although I do find it slightly odd that you're all about being supportive when your first post had gems like 'seeing people Bf makes me shudder' and 'Bf nazis'.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 18:35

Do I really need to repeat myself ....... it is a turn of phrase about people who are fanatical.

The idea of me myself bf does make me shudder - I dislike the concept...
so sue me!
people have said on here similar about seeing people ff.....but that is acceptable right?

Crosshair · 13/09/2011 18:49

No not acceptable at all.

My bringing it up with you is the fact you're going on about lack of support and how supportive you are about a womans choice, unless you mean when that choice falls in line with yours.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 19:33

not at all crosshair - i am being very forward and assertive with my opinion on here cos like i have said i am fed up with it all and other women and I dont know anyone on here so i dont really care anymore...the people on here are the least supportive and judgemental people i have even encountered so i will be brutal with my words to make them think and put them in their place which they possibly ahvent had done before.

with people i know .... i am there for you 100% no matter what.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 19:54

One thing that I just remembered and think is a disgrace:

When my DD was in hospital at 3 weeks old I was offered free meals but only because I was breastfeeding. Disgusting. As a mother of a newborn that is very very sick I believe the meals should be there dispite the feeding method. I was too scared to leave my precious sick baby for a second or more, I would've starved if the meal wasn't there. I would've not moved from that chair. I only went to the loo when my husband arrived after work. For 2 weeks I know I wouldn't have eaten.

Brewster · 13/09/2011 21:13

That is awful Surprise.
Can I ask what hospital that was?
As good an experience as we had where we had my son I have now noticed that they call ff 'artificial feeding'.
It will be interesting to see how they deal with us this time when we produce a bottle after the birth!

TheHouseofMirth · 13/09/2011 21:29

What is wrong with calling ff 'artificial feeding' Brewster? Surely that's precisely what it is?

Brewster · 13/09/2011 21:35

of course it isnt artificial.
it is just a form of feeding.

artificial is a cold and clinical word banded about by the bf brigade in another attempt to make mothers who choose or have to ff feel inadequate and guilty.
it is the hospital's way of making you feel crap before you have even began along with their copious posters going on and on about bfing!

diyvspse · 13/09/2011 21:41

TheHouseofMirth - nee nah nee nah.

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