Pregnancy post mc: Totally's grads continued part 8

[tiggersreturn]

new thread!!

nix you poor thing!!! Not exactly a relaxing start to your sunday!

Nix ow ow ow!!!!! Bad, bad Nix-mog!!!!! I'm not surprised it nearly sent you into early labour, it can really hurt, can't it?????

Thank you Pink, that's so kind , a couple of them spoke to me because they felt forced to! But I'm feeling better about it this morning - OH is nicer than all the other blokes there (and better looking ) plus it has confirmed that despite my terror, it is where I want to deliver. Maybe this is naive but at this stage I'd rather trade the lack of pain relief for the more personal care (plus they have private rooms where I, and OH, can stay for days afterwards). And they've confirmed that they will keep me for as long as it takes for me to get over my wobbles .

Pink good luck with pram browsing - I went with the approach of striking things off the list, rather than adding them - does that make any sense? Ie "I don't like that", don't like "that" etc etc to try and narrow things down. Then buy it on ebay

And thank you, wedding was good, OH made it and it was lovely to have a dance with him again. Although a lot of people told me I looked enormous . Fat cows.

Happy sunday morning everyone!!!!

morning ladies.

daisy so glad oh managed to get to the wedding with you.

nix oooh that sounds painful.

is there anything we can have to help with sore throats, am pretty sure there isn't but just wanted to make sure.

Poor you Cep Would a spoon of honey help?

It's very interesting reading when everyones mat leave starts. My plan was for it to kick in on my edd but to take 2 wk leave before hand. I'm currently re-looking to see if I can stretch my leave to 3 wks before ie 37 wks but I want to carry over 5 days too. My dilema is I'm planning on having a full year off but then want to stretch my leave so I can be off all the way up until Jan 1st AND then use it to go back 3 days a week until April when I'm likely to be made redundant . I realise I am probably being extremely greedy here!! Good point about how much time I can carry over if pup comes early though, so will def look into that as don't want to lose it!

tunnocks yay for good results of scan part 2, and yay for getting to see mini teacake again!!!

daisy that knitted sperm is wrong on so many levels, but I love it, it's hillarious! Think you're v brave going to ante-natal class alone- think I may have bottled it! Boo to all miserable women who didn't make an effort! You could have had a lot of fun though and become a single lesbain having had sperm donation!!! [grin ] Ooohhh I can just hear the gossiping now!!

Glad dh made it to the wedding! I love a romatic dance at a wedding!

wiw I too am very of all the kicking feeling going on, but I have a feeling we'll both regret saying it in a couple of weeks as having your uterous stamped on doesn't sound like too much fun! The little movements are nice though aren't they? I find myself sitting on the sofa or lying in bed just concentrating on what I can/can't feel!!! They've got stonger though in the past few days, lots of jigging going on last night at 4am!!!!

Loving the chat about kicking patterns and what sets movement off!!! at owlet liking mars bars.... What a great excuse to be eating them!! even more at owlet not liking Tuesdays or weds!!!

Cep sorry you had the worry about movement but you did the right thing getting checked out! Glad all ok! Plenty of movement today? Sore throat...a hot water with lemon and honey helpped my last winter. I know alcohol is 'forbidden' but a a bit of whisky in there might help and I'm sure one won't do any harm!

Ouch at nix's poor belly! I have 2 cats- one of them very fat- and all he wants to do is stamp and lie on my belly, which then also cues the claw digging as he gets comfy! Poor pup getting squashed!

blackkat I was due to go on mat leave fri gone too when was your edd? Mines 16th. We have friends staying that weekend. Half glad for the distraction, but half wishing they were not!

I went to pilates yesterday which was good, although wouldn't say it made me feel great or anything.... Which I was hoping for. Felt good to have a stretch though and have some achy muscles today which I think is good and needed. Still got my bad back though. Spoke to
Mw thurs too, who said to mention it at my scan apt on weds. Was hoping they might have a separate referal system but it seems not, but at least this time I might get referred. Spoke to a friend who is due at same time and suffering with back. Her doc was great, gave her a once over- ie weighed her, listened to hb, gave her some exercises!!! Bloody stand in gp! No I know why people like to see their gp!!!

leaves freshly squeezed orange and lemonade lollies to help everone cool down>

OMG - I have just encountered the most rudest person in the world!

Conversation as follows:

Her - Ooh I bet you are hot in this heat
Me - Yeah it's horrible
Her - How long have you got left?
M - Due 1st Oct
H - Oh really!!?? you look about ready to drop
M - No, three months left yet
H - God you're massive
M -
H - I mean really big, that baby is going to be huge, no way you can fit that out of your vagina
M - Erm well DD was quite big and I managed ok.
H - Just can't believe how big you are.
M - anyway best be off...

I just couldn't believe the audacity of her. Like I'd just walk up to her and say "God you're fat".

Hope everyone is well.

nix Ouchy at your cat scratches, poor you.

daisy Looks like the same people were at the wedding that I spoke to today!! Glad OH made it ok :)

OMG coconuts I had exactly the same conversation in tesco yesterday, in fact I am having it on a daily basis:

random stranger: you must be due any day?
me: No 3 months to go yet
RS: omg you are going to be huge by the time that baby arrives
me:
RS: how you coping with this heat?
me: fine
RS: well, you're heading for the last trimester, the time you gain the most weight so it's going to get worse
me: mmm, well I hope you're not suggesting I diet?!

WTF is it with all those cretins!! And, another little pet hate, other than the ridiculous conversations about my size is why oh f'ing why, do random strangers think it's perfectly acceptable to come up and put their hand on my tummy... one more time and I swear they better duck!!

Pinkster funny you should mention beetroot, none this week but 2 weeks ago was hoofing it down, mmmm! This week has def been a sweet tooth week!!!

mama oh it's infuriating isn't it!! I just couldn't believe she mentioned my vagina!!

And bump touching =

sweet tooth week for me here too :) mmm cherry pie!!

And also, anyone else suddenly got a huge appetite? I am starving today, just cannot stop eating, may even start on my own thigh if I empty my cupboards before dinner time!!

Food of the day for me is mature cheddar cheese chunks slices with sliced grapes and mayonnaise on. :)

Maybe the woman who said I was fat had a point

Got some cheap nighties for labour/hospital today, two new bras and a baby outfit. Finally feel a little bit more ready to accept this now :)

Pink are you journeys improving at all? In NL I saw a printed strapless maxi, is that the one you mean? I can?t do strapless I can never get a comfy bra. Did you buy a pram? How was the maternity ward? At least you?ve seen things now rather than on the day
Crochet congrats!! Have you thought of a name yet?
Cep your bath kicking sounds so adorable :) mine likes swimming, must do more of it. You did the right thing getting checked out, when I went on Monday she said don?t worry about coming in every day if I?m worried
Daisy are you feeling a bit better? It?s difficult to visualise actually arriving home with a baby. The fact that you are worrying about what type of mum, etc means that you are going to be extra loving, don?t worry :) Sorry your DH couldn?t make the class, will he be able to make the others? I?m with you on lack of pain relief vs personal care
Collie the physio I saw said breast stroke with head above water and doggy paddle kicks were ok, but nothing else. My MW had no thought or opinion on my hips/back. My hospital lets you self refer, do they do that where you are?
Owl good news on the iron levels, and fx you get that homebirth
Velvet I love those transfers! Glad you?re getting help and managing to get comfy
Welcome Bigmac Not long until your scan now, I would?ve snatched their hand off at the offer of an extra scan!
YRMOTB thanks for doing the list, when are you coming over to join us? :)
Nix I?m of your impending mat leave. What nice work colleagues you have too. Your poor bump getting clawed
Tunnocks good news on the scan, and another team yellow
Coconuts I?m having those conversations on a daily basis at work, including someone pointing and shouting ?look, she?s waddling? across the office and being called fatty when I was a size 10 to start and it?s pretty much all bump where the weight has gone. Why do people think it?s ok to speak like that? :(

I?m working until 38 weeks, but have used my leave to work reduced weeks so just doing 3 day weeks at the end. Also, my journey to work is a 10 minute drive but can understand the commuters wanting to go earlier.
I?m 31 weeks today, 9 weeks til EDD seems so far away but as I'm not prepared it's not a bad thing. MiniO is still oblique so I?m starting to worry, will have a look on the spinning babies website. Does the bouncy-ball help? It only just hit me today that if it doesn?t move I?ll have to have a caesarean, but the MW has never discussed it just wrote it in my notes obviously the important thing is a healthy bump and safe delivery

Bouncing is supposed to help O :) x

I'm buying one tonight :) my NCT group were nice (1st meet last night) but they all seemed really thin and glamorous and I felt huge and frumpy. Every day at work I get someone commenting about what a big baby I'm having and I'm trying to psych myself up to going in to work :( I have put on over 2 stone but dh reckons I was too thin to begin with, but I'm worried I'm being a bad mother already making my baby fat :( plus if minio doesnt move it'll be a CS so im struggling to visualise the birth. sorry, not a good frame mind today

orange in my first pg i put on 3-4 stone. and i wasn't small to begin with. If you're really worried there's this which as long as i'm between the amounts i'm happy.

Orange - poor you I'm sure you are NOT making your baby fat!!! Putting on 2 stone by this point is fine, I'm already 3 up and I wasn't thin before. My midwife isn't worried at all. If you were slim beforehand, then I'm sure you will put on more as your body needs it.

Sorry, but sheep analogy coming up - we need to lay down reserves of body fat when pregnant. This, in nature, is what we will use to keep us going and feed LO when it arrives. There is an illness in sheep called 'twin lamb syndrome' where mum hasn't put enough reserves on during pregnancy and then spends more energy feeding her lambs than looking after herself. THIS IS NOT GOOD!!!!!!

If NCT group were thin and glamorous then they clearly don't have enough to do in their lives , and think how hungry and miserable they must be all the time.

And as for your work colleagues, well, the muck heap is full so I can have a slurry tanker at your door in a jiffy if required!!!

Thanks that's really helped put things in perspective, I've bookmarked it on both my phone and laptop so I can remind myself :) It's so hard with all the comments at work I know I shouldn't let it get to me

Dh has told me to stay home today, I feel bad but I'm in no state to do anything useful

X-posts thanks Daisy, I like the sheep comparison. As long as the professionals are happy with miniO I need to remind myself I shouldn't worry, and be glad I've got enough fat store to feed it well when it arrives. I feel so silly

Helloooooo Ladies...

Back from my break and my super-fab MN meet-up with WIW - I can confirm she's not a 60 y.o. Bedouin but a lovely, ultra-sophisticated and very glamorous young lady!

Scrolled back through what I missed... LOVED the names chat (I know you had that conversation about a century ago)... We like Lara for a girl (it's not my name BTW but my middle name) and Luca for a boy. Problem is that we want to put my Dad's name (Laurie) as a middle name (he died last year) and both Lara Laurie and Luca Laurie sound stupid. Debating whether we need to add a name between both but three names sound ridiclous and pretentious (of which we are of course neither ). I also love the names Sofia, Rafael and Gabriel. Both DH and I have quite "global" roots and LO will be mixed race (Anglo-Indian and Portuguese on my side and Caribbean on DH's side) so I'd like baby's name to be quite international too.

I think people feel inclined to comment on bump-size / baby weight regardless of how insensitive it is. As I mentioned in the freak-out thread, I am working on trying to develop a "pregnancy thick skin" in anticipation of the comments that will follow in the coming weeks / months. My office is very male and extremely infantile. I think personally that making, developing and carrying a baby is the most incredible thing in the world and if short-sighted people can't see the wonder of it and can only make crass remarks then more fool them.

I think that as women we are brought up in this society to be overly-conscious of body image, maintaining a low weight and preserving physical appearance based on an unrealistic set of "ideals". Pregnancy is the one time in our lives when all of those "ideologies" have to be turned on their heads and we should indulge in what is happening inside our bodies for once.

Rant over....

Orange - trust me, if you really were what the outside world considers to be a "fatty" (awful term) then there is no way they would say it so openly. Please focus on building your strength over the next few weeks. The birth will happen as Mother Nature intends it to happen. You've done really well on getting to this stage and have obviously been doing all the right things so please don't change what you've been doing now.

Big congrats Crochet!

Cep - awesome kicking news. Can't wait for it to begin...

Blackkat - well done on officially joining!

Right - better get some work done!

Hugs to everyone I've missed.... Still getting to know who all you lovely ladies are. xxx

orange Aw lovey it doesn get you down doesn't it. I came home after my rude encounter yesterday and felt really frumpy and fat and horrible and consequently ate everything in sight.

I was quite body conscious before but it's alot worse now and people making remarks, or patting bumps does not help at all. I'm sure all those glamourous ladies weren't really that glamourous at all. I think we often have a warped vision of ourselves. I know I see myself totally different to how others see me and it has taken me long time to get ym head around that.

And I have a birthing ball from BirthEase. It is fab and I can really feel it putting things in the right place. It makes my back feel so much better.

lara you do speak sense. At this time, when we are doing something amazing and miraculous, we are surely allowed to gain weight healthily. We are not Victoria Beckham and neither would I want to be.

I have a friend who was bulimic at school. She is now 39weeks and looks bloody marvellous. She has put weight on but as she was so thin before it really has filled her out in all the right places and she actually has a glow about her. She is healthy. I hope I look like that when I'm at her stage.

I know I haven't put any weight on anywhere else other than my bump, but I think having HG and losing almost a stone in the first trimester kind of set me back a little.

My babies R Us order should be here today, and I have a friend coming over to give me a few boys bits here little one has outgrown. Am building quite a collection now. MIL came round yesterday with some bits too!

I have been for a sneaky scan today and Owlet is the right way up - huzzah!

In other news;

Nobody has touched my bump except my Gran. Anyone else who tries is likely to get a slap in the chops.

I too have had the 'bloody hell you are massive' comments altho nowt as rude as poor Coco - I am not massive, I have put on about 2.5 stone which is apparently pretty much bang on, and I am measuring about right for dates. So the next person who tells me I am massive may, again, get a slap in the chops.

Daisy is right; creating a new human being is an incredible, marvellous achievement and I say bollocks to anyone who is rude to us whilst we are doing this marvellous thing!!

I do not have Pregnancy-Rage, honest.

And it was Lara not Daisy , brian seems to be visiting me today, whoops.

Hello. Just dropping by ... Not ready to stop freaking out quite yet but I had a scan today and my little one is still there with a heartbeat and is right size at 12 weeks plus four :)

Save me a beanbag!

hairy that's fab news :) :) So so pleased for you. My fellow recurrent buns thread-goer :)

Hairy - really glad to see you!

Tunnocks whoop for reaching 24 weeks! :) miniteacake will soon be fully cooked
Coconuts I'm of your order. we haven't bought much but are going on Saturday with a list. People are offering boys/girls clothes but as we don't know what we're having they don't know what to give us
Owl that great news about owlet, and good work on the chops-slapping

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and comments, I feel so silly I'm so worried about being a good mum that all those comments got me worried I was failing already and doing harm to minio. I will have to remind the next person (and myself) that comments, that the trained professionals are perfectly content with mine and baby's size/weight. Today I've bought a bouncy-ball, 2 tops and a skirt all on sale though

Just refreshed and glad I did hairy that's awesome news!!