Hurrah for outraged tube commuter

[Cyclebump]

I travel an hour and a half each way to work and am now 22 weeks pg with DC1. Am starting to get very painful ligament stretching and have prior hip issues that mean it's getting hard to stand for long periods.

Bump is big and highly visible.

Last night on the tube, I stood from Victoria to Ealing Common. I just don't have the balls to ask for a seat but several people saw my bump and took seats anyway, I was even pushed out of the way by one.

Suddenly, man who was also standing got flustered. 'That seat should be yours! Does this sing mean nothing?' he shouted (pointing to the priority seat sign) 'What are you people? Blind?! It's disgusting!'

I gratefully took the seat that was duly offered even though I was only one stop from home.

Ha! Have regaled a friend with the story of the lovely man last night and we've decided I should start bump-slapping people (smacking bump into faces).

RE the weeing. One guy kept elbowing my bump when he was fidgeting yesterday. Baby woke and started wriggling meaning I needed to pee. I was about to tell him that if he elbowed me again his would be the first shoes I weed on when he got off the train. Shame really.

I'm no longer pregnant but it's just as bad when you have a babe in arms. I have a very lightweight buggy which umbrella-folds and has a shoulder strap. It's more practical to sling it over my shoulder than fight a buggy on a train/ down stairs. You'd think people would offer a seat to a woman with a 4 m/o in her arms and a buggy over her shoulder? Often not. I find I'm assertive now, no aggression. I just walk to the nearest priority seat and say 'excuse me please, I need the priority seat.' I'm polite so if they have a subtle disability themselves they can say without fuss and I'll demand ask for a different seat.

PMSL @ nickel

You'd take it too, I assume? :o

you have to ask - you'll get a set no problem if you ask. (yes you shouldn't have to ask, but in real life you mainly do)

I undo my coat and make sure bump is obvious AND wear the baby on board badge. Just need to grow some testes I reckon!

I must admit though I was not so balanced and reasonable when hormonal and pregnant. I've told this story before but when I was a week overdue on the way back from an appointment at the hospital a man actually rested his newspaper on my HUGE bump. Not accidently mind, a slow neat arrangement when his broadsheet propped up on my bump. I saw red but said nothing. I just reached down and slowly screwed his newspaper into a little ball then dropped it back in his lap, all the while staring at him in a very unhinged way. He shot out of his seat, legged it down the carriage and got off at the next stop.

you can rub your belly in commuters faces - you still probably won't get a seat. You've gotta ask - nice and polite, big breath and "excuse me but I need to sit down please" and SMILE.

strawberrycake - that story has made my day! Ha ha, good on you!

People really do need to ask for seats. I become very engrossed on the tube and once looked up from my Metro after 20 mins to find a pregnant woman in front of me, giving me evil laser death stares. It made me cross that she had worked herself up over this, probably winged about it somewhere like Mumsnet, and if she had just asked I would have given up my seat without a moment's hesitation. I honestly hadn't noticed her.
Old people do this passive aggressive stuff on the tube too. Other people being rude is no reason to be rude yourself!

I have the same problem as this but on a train. Everyone suddenly becomes really engrossed in the Metro!

I have been offered a seat a few times, usually be the person I least expect to offer me one and usually by a man.

Cycle I had a similar experience to you in that one (also standing) man leaned down to another man with his back to me and (after falling over as the train took off bless him!) stage whispered that he ought to really stand and let the pregnant lady behind him sit down. I was embarrassed but it restored my faith in humanity . The poor guy looks mortified and it wasn;t his fault, he had his back to me after all...everyone facing me had contracted temporary blindness.

This morning DH had to ask someone to let me have a seat because the train was so hot and I felt dreadful... again people had clocked the badge and quickly looked away. Such a shame... I have always stood for pregnant women or people with crutches/old folk.

Hey ho, such is life!

PMSL at strawberry cake... brilliant!!!

Strawberry that made my lol literally! Love it! How dare he though? Imagine if someone decided to rest their knitting on his shiny bald head - inappropriate? Hell yes! What was he thinking?

and Hannah x-posts sorry... [bluss]

I have offerred my seat to pregnant women who had only been fat so that went down well (oh and I am fat too and it has happened to me). Also, sometimes people just get in a tube coma and don't realise that you are even there.

I do think that you need to be more forceful and ask people to move. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Hahahahhahaha!

I don't give laser death stares, I just bite my tongue and read my paper.

Strawberrycake that's brilliant. I see red too. I love what you did!

OP- Just ASK! I'm 23 weeks now, wear a badge but with a big heavy coat on for winter no one can see my rather large bump and people aren't trying to see other people who need to sit.

I felt really really embarassed about asking, and still feel a bit awkward sitting down but really- we're too bulky now to be standing and people can't really say no.

Please ask.

I have done this before. Broke the xenophobic silence to shout at the whole carriage when not one single person offered a very heavily pg woman a seat (I was standing myself). Good on him!

When we were in majorca the german men stay sat no matter what and really small kids get a seat too never get moved onto laps.I stood up for a lady with obviously disabled twins and i was visbly pg,the German men just stared at my belly.
I have found this pregnancy a general lack of sympathy compared to my previous ones.In the supermarket a man "moved me" out of his way by holding my shoulders as i was taking up too much room with my bump.I also noticed 50-60 yr old women ploughing thru spaces narrrowly missng me with the trolley,they were wearing very steely glares on their faces,could imagine them thinking "just cos you are pg dont expect special treatment"
You must ask for a seat.Practice the line you will use at home and then just say it.

Cycle, I used to dread having to use the tube when PG

In the end I was just VERY assertive and would get on the train and if no one looked up (or rathetr studiously ignored me and bump) I would say in a very loud voice: "please can someone give me a seat, as I am (fill in gap) weeks PG and really need to sit down"

The first few times I flushed with embarassment, but after that I would just say it automatically.

It is your right to claim a seat and shame on anyone who pretends to be invisible to your bump, particularly those seated in the "priority seats"

I travel on the train every day to and from work, about 45 mins each way. Am now 30 weeks and only five people have ever offered me a seat.
A member of train staff even asked me to get out of the disabled seats, admittedly for a disabled person but her perfectly able bodied friend didn't bother about taking the other seat instead of me.
I hate it but I also hate the thought of asking too as people can be so mean. I went to sit in a chair in a coffee shop once and the woman next to it grabbed and said she was holding it for her boyfriend who was buying her coffee. Normally I'd get angry but the hormones just make me want to cry that people are so mean.

Am inspired, I'm determined to ask this evening. I SHALL have a seat!

I once booked a seat on an inter city train and a very aggressive man took my reserved seat.

He refused to give it up (even though it had my name on it and I was eight months PG) and so I complained to the train staff....

...I was given a seat it First Class to compensate