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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Do most of you find out sex of pregnancy?

197 replies

Janus · 09/11/2010 21:55

We currently have 3 dds and I am pregnant with number 4 and will have 20 week scan next week. We have never found out sex before and we are not worried at all what this one will be but I find most people are surprised we are not finding out.
I like the surprise and, OK, I could get a little more organised if I knew but that seems to be the only reason, or is it? Did you find out and, if so, why?

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lady007pink · 11/11/2010 05:06

I work in an x ray department so I was able to find out from the ultrasonographer!

goingroundthebend4 · 11/11/2010 05:34

i did with ds1 they asked but i then moved and new area did not say was £100 for private scan and thought hmm thats a lot of clothes could buy after

but when had dd i was adamnt after 2 boys that be another ds .Despite Mw saying its a girl as was sick the whole pregannacy .I asked them to check again that she was a girl and the dr said hmm one thing i can tell after medical school is whether girl or boy and i snapped back well hope you learnt a dam site moreBlush bt i blame it on shock after crash c section

ds 3 i really did not care what i had so did not even wonder

Deemented · 11/11/2010 06:51

TBH I'd have preferred not to know and have the surprise. However, DS1 had a condition that only affects boys and means that any future boy that i have would be more prone to a similar condition, so i felt that i needed to know for my own peice of mind, and for the health of the baby.

I found out at 26 weeks with DD, and it was a huge huge relief - i hadn't realised just how scared i was of having another boy until then, and i found out at 20 weeks that i was having a boy who turned out to be DS3 - i was then able to have more checks and relax more knowing we'd be properly looked after, iyswim.

If i were to have another baby, a part of me would love not to find out til birth... but another part of me would need to know for the reasons outlined above... i's have to see which need was stronger, tbh.

Pernickety · 11/11/2010 09:15

I didn't find out with either of mine. I didn't have the choice the first time round but think DH wouldn't have wanted to know so probably would have waited until the birth anyway. With baby #2 we had the chance but declined, as I'd enjoyed the anticipation right up to the last minute when expecting my first baby.

I think I am a person who often enhoys the anticipation fo something as much as the evnt itself, e.g. like waiting to go on holiday or leading up to Christmas, so it fits that I would enjoy waiting until the birth to know whether I had a son or daughter. Up untilt hat point I was able to flit between imagining both.

I had two DDs. With DD1 I mostly 'felt' I was carrying a boy except for the last week of my pregnancy. With baby number 2, I flitted between the two but when she was born, she looked so much like DD1, that before checking or having the midwife or DH declare, I knew she was a girl. I love having ecperienced that (though I could have been wrong and it could easily have been a baby who looked like DD, but was in fact a boy!).

The main advantage I see with finding out in advance is only having to deliberate over names for one sex!

silentcatastrophe · 11/11/2010 09:29

Most of the time it's going to be one or the other. It would be very very surprising if it was something else, like a foal, or a bicycle wheel. I didn't find out.

bean612 · 11/11/2010 11:00

We did with DD - I felt the whole experience of what it would be like to give birth, what life would be like with a baby, how we were about to share our lives with a completely unknown little person, was all such a mystery that I definitely wanted the only piece of concrete information that I could get.

If we have another - ie. if DH changes his mind, any tips on how to get him to do that? - then I definitely wouldn't find out. For the opposite reason, I suppose - now I know what it's like to have a baby, and I'd like to keep the biggest unknown as a surprise. I suppose I'd kind of like a boy, just for variety - Grin - but I don't really mind, I'd be very happy either way.

colie · 11/11/2010 11:21

I could not find out for dd1 and dd2 as gendering scans were not done in my area then.

Decided not to find out with dd3. Dc4 was a surprise and dh was desperate to find out, i also felt he was disappointed that I was pregnant again, so we went ahead and found out. Thinking it may like others have said help him bond.

We didn't tell anyone as dd1 was desperate for a brother and we did't want her upset if sonograher had it wrong. Sonographer didn't sound 100% sure to us.

Though I have to say I found it nicer waiting to find out once they are born.

Quenelle · 11/11/2010 12:02

We didn't. I was so desperate not to know that it was the first thing I said to the sonographer when we went for our 20 week scan. I like newborns in white babygros and we don't do pink and blue so there was no practical reason to know in advance.

When DS was put on my stomach my DH and I were both so overwhelmed neither of us even remembered to ask the sex. The midwife had to remind DH to have a look. Cotswolder is right, you don't get many moments like that in life. They're worth waiting for.

My boss and his wife were at their 20 week scan recently and the sonographer said 'do you want to know the sex, because I can see something'. Kind of gave it away really. I'd have been gutted if that had happened to me.

fizzpops · 11/11/2010 13:04

Did anyone see the interview in OK magazine with the bloke who plays Kirk in Corrie (I think) and his wife who are expecting their second child? They already have a boy and wanted to know the sex of the second child.

When asked if they had found out 'Kirk' answered, 'We know but we're not telling anyone else. We'd really like a girl though' Hmm.

So let's hope they were told they were having a girl then!

looblee · 11/11/2010 13:24

We did but then I am a self confessed control freak at heart. Husband was in agreement though.

Most of my friends/colleages say they wouldn't have done.

But what it has meant is that at 22 weeks pregnant I have just bought my gorgeous Laura Ashley wallpaper for my little girls nursery!

Sullwah · 11/11/2010 13:45

We didn't and it took a lot of willpower as I had loads and loads of scans - at the start because it was IVF and at the end beacause they thought there was a problem with Twin 2 and so I was having a scan every week.

We had twins so had to have three sets of names ready!

Sullwah · 11/11/2010 13:46

fizzpops - that is so funny. He is obviously as bright in real life as his character Grin

lucielooo · 11/11/2010 14:09

Well we are planning to find out at the 20week scan (week monday!) for many of the reasons mentioned above. It all feels a bit abstract at the moment and I think knowing whether I'm carrying my son or my daughter would make it more real. DP also already has 2 sons so I think it would help them get used to the idea (they've said they'd like a boy so help them get used to it if it's a girl) I'm not sure what I would like but we're not getting anywhere with names so it might help with that.

Having said all of that, I am finding myself a bit persudaded my DP telling me at the birth. But then I've never had a baby before and no idea how I'll handle it or what I feel like on the day.. what if something goes wrong and baby gets whisked off and I won't have that moment anyway..

Decisions decisions!

PhoebeLaura · 11/11/2010 14:11

We didn't with DS1 and we haven't with this one (36 weeks) and I am so glad we made that decision. Having the midwife hold DS1 up in the air as DS and I shouted 'a boy' is one of my most precious memories of his birth.

chickbean · 11/11/2010 14:13

Didn't find out with any of ours as we wanted the surprise at birth. Everyone said that I had a "boy bump" for DC3 and as we had 2 boys we assumed they were right - so DD was a big surprise (in fact I actually said "Can you check?" when they told me)

TooBlessed · 11/11/2010 14:21

we wanted to find out,but when we were waiting for our turn in the reception ,DH looked at me and said,it would be nice if we didn't find out,people then started saying it was a boy,everyone,,imagine my joy and surprise when the doc said its a girl...

TooBlessed · 11/11/2010 14:22

we didn't find out

snugglejunkie · 11/11/2010 14:24

I found out.

I didn't have any preference or did I feel any need to get organised. I'm just one of those people who has to know stuff - you know, always reads spoilers etc Grin

Also I figured that finding out what it feels like to have a head come out my fanjo was enough surprise for me...

chaya5738 · 11/11/2010 14:48

We didn't find out and it made it a lot more fun telling the grandparents when DD was actually born, I think.

Balsam · 11/11/2010 15:17

Never get why people say they want the surprise. It's a surprise at 20 weeks as much as at 40 weeks.

Found out for both of ours - I'm a planner!

Pernickety · 11/11/2010 16:16

I don't know. It wouyld be a bit like someone telling you what is inside the wrapped present 20 weeks before you're allowed to open it as opposed to unwrapping it yourself when you're allowed to handle it. I'm not sure suprise is the correct word but the experience is unarguably different.

Pernickety · 11/11/2010 16:17

surprise.

tinkwantsaslanket · 11/11/2010 16:34

found out with both of my dds felt it would help with the bonding process which it did and getting organised

BedTooBigFryingPanTooWide · 11/11/2010 17:03

Bloody glad we didn't leave it until the birth or OH wouldn't have known that he was the daddy of another little girl and I'd have had to pick her name all alone Sad.

And it was a lovely. lovely, lovely surprise at 20 weeks.

Ragwort · 11/11/2010 17:10

No - really didn't want to find out - absolutely see no need (apart from possible health concerns). Agree with what Pernickety said - there are so few 'real' surprises left in life that I wanted to wait until the baby had safely (or not so safely in my case Grin) arrived and was in my arms - actually in DH's arms as I was still under GA !! When I came round the doctor had to tell me as DH and baby had been banished from the room - I woke up with some random male patient also coming round from an operation !