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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Do most of you find out sex of pregnancy?

197 replies

Janus · 09/11/2010 21:55

We currently have 3 dds and I am pregnant with number 4 and will have 20 week scan next week. We have never found out sex before and we are not worried at all what this one will be but I find most people are surprised we are not finding out.
I like the surprise and, OK, I could get a little more organised if I knew but that seems to be the only reason, or is it? Did you find out and, if so, why?

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lowrib · 10/11/2010 15:33

Extricated is a word Grin

lowrib · 10/11/2010 15:38

We didn't find out. I like surprises too.
Also I felt that if I knew what sex it was I'd start imagining a personality based on their gender that was of my own making rather than based on anything real IFSWIM.

If we have another one, I'd be more swayed towards finding out for practical reasons second time round I think - I honestly can't say what I'd want to do.

jaggythistle · 10/11/2010 15:48

Phew. I was pretty sure, but it looked funny on the page !!

jellybeans · 10/11/2010 15:53

I found out with all the ones I could but my oldest 2 were born before the hospital changed it's policy. The reasons we found out..

DC3&4 were twins and we had 2 DDs already and wanted to plan for two times expense and if they were boys we would need everything like clothes. I also lost a DD3 before them late in pregnancy and felt I needed to know for my sanity.

DD4 we found out as we just felt like it and we had had bad results on the triple test so had a level 2 scan and there was just opportunity to find out.

DS3 we found out as sadly we lost DD4 at 20 weeks and I really needed to know the sex and prepare emotionally for a new arrival.

I don't regret finding out with any of them and the births were just as exciting :)

CheerfulYank · 10/11/2010 15:57

I found out. The ultrasound tech barely had the question out of her mouth- "Do you want to know the-" Me: "Yes yes yes tell me tell me tell me!" :o I'm like that though...

My best friend just had a baby and didn't find out, though, and we were all wating in the waiting room. It was such fun to find out. I'm thinking next time DH and I will find out and not tell anyone so we can have the fun of announcing it after the birth. :)

perpetuallypregnant · 10/11/2010 16:07

I didn't find out with DS as it was 14 years ago and there wasn't the option. I had strong feelings he was a DS though. It was more exciting giving birth not knowing atually.

DD1/2/3 Found out with them all, I'm pleased I did but the birth doesn't have quite the same suspense, you ring up friends and fam 'it's a girl!!!' 'urm yes we knew that' kind of thing.

I'm 15 weeks pregnant with number 5 a total surprise - we have decided not to find out this time. I have strong feelings it's another girl but I really don't mind and it'll be lovely to have that moment of finding out when he/she is born.

midori1999 · 10/11/2010 16:14

I found out with DS's 1, 2 and 3. We tried desperately to find out with the twins, but they could only guess Twin 2 was a girl until they told me for sure at a scan the day before I had them. They couldn't tell for twin 1 as she had no amniotic fluid and I have to admit to being suprised she was a girl.

Our hospital have a policy of not telling, but if you have consultant led care, which I am having, the consultant will tell you if they can see. Or, thwy will tell you if you feel you have a specific reason to know and haven;t got consultant led care.

I think I need to know this time. I don't mind at all and any baby is a blessing, but as we lost two daughters, I think I'd feel strange if it was a boy or a girl, and it has to be one or the other. I'd like tine to get used to the idea so I don't need to come to terms with it at the birth.

Teapot13 · 10/11/2010 16:47

We didn't want to find out. At the very beginning, I think deep down I thought it was a girl, though. (She is!)

At the 20-week scan we told the consultant that we didn't want to know. We also found out LO had a clubfoot, and from that point I kind of assumed it was a boy, because I'd never heard of a girl with a clubfoot and it is statistically more common in boys. I felt kind of surprised by the idea of a boy, but pleased.

After that scan, when DH and I were still kind of reeling from the news, we were walking around between appointments, and he said, "Well, what really gets me is that we were very clear that we didn't want to know, and the consultant told us the sex!" I said, "He did?" I completely missed it. DH didn't tell -- he kept it a secret for 20 weeks. I just assumed the doctor said "he" rather than "baby," not meaning anything.

Sometimes when we were talking about names (both lists), I would say, "Wait, but don't you know?" He discussed boys' and girls' names with equal weight. The more time passed the less certain he was about what he'd heard, too.

At the birth, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a girl!" I said, "Really? A girl?" I thought there must be some mistake. I asked DH, "Is that what you thought all along?" and he nodded. Apparently the consultant at the 20-week scan had said, "Your daughter will have a completely normal life." And I missed that!

We are through a lot of the clubfoot treatment but still a bit to go -- she does seem to have a pretty normal life, though!

And I think it's sweet that her daddy knew that she was a girl and kept it his own secret.

Mrsmackie · 10/11/2010 16:52

We didn't find out with our first - didn't even consider it. I had very strong feelings all along that it was a girl anyway, so wasn't at all surprised when it was! This time around (I am 37 weeks pregnant) we have found out that we are having a boy. Main reason was that I thought it might help it seem more real for our daughter and prepare her for the arrival as we are able to talk about 'her baby brother' rather than just 'the baby'.

Tolalola · 10/11/2010 16:52

I was desperate to find out with DS and intend to find out with the one on the way too. Although DS was pretty bloody obvious from the scan, tbh. I would have had to have my eyes shut not to realise!

I got a few 'Oh, but it's one of the only real surprises left in life' type comments, but I always thought that ws a bit of a silly thing to say - I'm constantly surprised by stuff! Grin

SuzieHomemaker · 10/11/2010 16:58

We didnt find out with DD1 - then not an option. Even the ropey old scan of 12 year's ago showed that DS was a boy - just couldnt be avoided! We did find out with DD2 as she was surprise enough in herself and we didnt need more surprises!

lilly13 · 10/11/2010 17:04

kitten30, we did not purposely do a scan to find out the sex of our baby at 12 weeks. my obstetritian happens to be an experienced fetal medicine specialist. he asked us if we wanted to find out the sex of the baby as it was quite visible when i had my nuchal scan. the baby was in the right position.... i think the ability to determine the sex of the baby depends on a combination of 1) ultra modern equipment, 2)high experience of the specialist and 3) baby being in the right position...

pinkspider · 10/11/2010 17:07

I didn't wth first two but with third birth I really want to know as it wasn't planned and wanted a little girl. So couldn't wait for scan to find out.

fridascruffs · 10/11/2010 17:08

It's not much of a surprise, surely. Unless, you know, it's a kitten or something. That would be quite surprising.

With the first, I wanted to know so i could get over the disappointment if it was a boy. It was. I got over it by the time he was born and he's amazing wonderful I love him. I didn't care about gender with the second. (was a girl, i thought Great, i can buy fab clothes, but that didn't last long, she insists on wall to wall spangles and pink everything now.)

SuzieHomemaker · 10/11/2010 17:11

Finding out I was 4 months pregnant was already a surprise. I couldnt have been more surprise if they had said 'oh by the way it's a fluffy kitten!' Finding out we were expecting a girl meant that we could decide which set of clothes to keep.

Debs75 · 10/11/2010 17:12

We have just had no 4 and she was the only 1 we didn't find the sex for.
No1 dp wanted to know, same with no2. No 3 I took dd1 with me so found out for her.

I have always wanted a surprise so decided with no 4 I would have.
Little things gave it aways like with all DD's I have lost weight and with DS I piled it on. I had GD which I had with DD2.
Looking back I would of liked all 4 to be a surprise. When dd3 was born I told the MW I was going to annouce the sex, even though I had to ask her to clarify it as I was in shock.

Teaandcakeplease · 10/11/2010 17:36

Out of all my friends I was the only one desperate to know before birth and didn't like the idea of a surprise. I'm an impatient person and had to know Blush What's worse if that at my local hospital they do not tell you, so I had to pay for a private scan to find out both times.

Grin
Teaandcakeplease · 10/11/2010 17:36

if=is

1Catherine1 · 10/11/2010 17:40

I wanted to find out with mine just so I could make it feel more real and prepare emotionally for becoming a mum. It's nice as I like to talk about her as my daughter rather than the baby, and call her she rather than it.

Physical preparation is the same though since I don't intend to have only one child and I intend to get more than one use out of the baby things I have.

My OH has also got more of a bond with her too since finding out she's a she.

Imarriedafrog · 10/11/2010 18:12

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kitten30 · 10/11/2010 18:18

really my goodness, I didnt know they would tell you that early or that they could be sure. That is amazing.

Imarriedafrog · 10/11/2010 18:19

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Imarriedafrog · 10/11/2010 18:21

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Bue · 10/11/2010 18:37

I always love the surprise of a new baby - it is so much fun to get an "It's a girl!" email or whatever. But by number 4... I don't know... not that a new baby is ever not exciting, but after three surprises I might cave in and find out. Just for a change!

MoppingMummy · 10/11/2010 18:52

We found out with our first (girl) and not with the second (boy). We will find out this time as need to be able to organise the bedroom situation etc!

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