Do most of you find out sex of pregnancy?

[Janus]

We currently have 3 dds and I am pregnant with number 4 and will have 20 week scan next week. We have never found out sex before and we are not worried at all what this one will be but I find most people are surprised we are not finding out.
I like the surprise and, OK, I could get a little more organised if I knew but that seems to be the only reason, or is it? Did you find out and, if so, why?

I didnt think you could find out at a 12 week scan? I thought it was totally unreliable until after 16 weeks?

we asked not to be told with dd but the doctor forgot. This time I want the surprise we didn't have but at the same time I wonder whether it would help dd (who'll be 4) to know what to expect so we're still unsure what to do.

We have found out with all 4 because we both wanted to know and have paid privately 3 times to find out and am so glad we did,

With DC4 we just wanted it confirmed that it was DD4, we had her names chosen and everything. Of course I will never forget the moment the sonographer said congratulations it's a boy! I think DP and I annoyed her as we kept asking "are you sure?" we don't do boys in our family DP was the last on his side.

I still cannot believe we have a boy, he looks so different to the girls as well, who are all blonde and blue eyed whilst he is dark haired with brown eyes and the image of his Dad.

It's a very personal thing, either you want to know before birth or you don't there's no right or wrong.

I didn't with DD - loved finding out on the day. A friend who knew she was having a girl very early on named her baby at about 18 weeks which I found really weird, bit creepy.

But this time I have 20 wk scan in December & I am tempted to find out purely for practical reasons - we live in overcrowded tiny flat. Do I get rid of all the girls stuff? Or keep it? Still undecided though.

I have 2 dds. We found out the sex with the first - not sure why but we wanted to know. I had her 10 weeks early and she and I were both very ill so I couldn't see or hold her for some time. so the fact that I'd known she was a girl actually helped me bond with her. So in retrospect we were so pleased we'd found out.
When pregnant with dd2 we chose to find out again. I was amazed at other people's responses though - several people said "it's like opening all your presents before christmas day", or " but there's no suprise on the day then", which really annoyed me! It's not like I would have my baby then say to the midwife "don't bother passing her to me, I know she's a girl" It's still the most joyous occasion ever even if you know what you're having. And I even had someone at work tell me I'd ruined it for them all by finding out !!!
I think it's one of those things that you just have an instinct about what to do - but we shouldn't think less of people who choose to do the opposite.

Yes we found out, I don't really understand what's so special about the surprise. I think having a baby is special enough in the first place without the need for extra "specilness."

My Mum had a go at me for finding out the sex Still don't really know why.

The sonographer at the 3D scan turned it back to 2D to do the sexing. Even I saw what looked like a willy!

Interestingly the sonographer at the 20 week at the hospital also thought it might be a boy, but couldn't be sure so that's why we went for the 3D one. The hospital hadn't ever had a boy to girl 3D mistake before.

God knows what DD had flapping round, but I can assure everyone she's very neat and tidy down there!

Goodness, yes - I'm far too controlling not to find out!!

Oh, and because of the position I delivered in, the student MW who delivered DD didn't do the initial sexing check for a few mins as we were so busy cooing at little DS2 saying 'hello DS1's little brother'..... imagine our shock when DH said 'It is a boy, isn't it?'. The MW actually shrieked when she pulled the towel away to see that DS2 was actually a DD!

I've never been more shocked in my whole life!

I found out with DD1 and NOT with DD2

MUCH preferred the surprise

We found out with dd and I am so glad we did. We named her and talked about her with her name between weeks 20 and weeks 39. When she popped out it was like I already knew her. We had a monitored pregnancy and difficult induction so it felt like we were already chums who had been through lots together.
Would definitely find out if we are lucky enough to have another one.

I didn't with DS1 and won't with this one. Love the surprise, and alos know 2 people who were told and it turned out to be wrong!

I've just got back after having our 20 week scan today. I really wanted a surprise but my DH and all my family wanted to know so I gave in. I was secretly hoping they wouldn't be able to tell us and as it happens they couldn't for sure. The baby was really lively and was changing positions every few seconds and she couldn't get a clear picture as the cord kept getting in the way. She did say at one point that she thought it might be a boy but also said not to rush out and go mad buying blue things as she really couldn't be sure.

We did find out with DD because 1. I am massively impatient 2. I thought it'd help DH to 'get used to the idea' 3. I suffer quite badly sometimes with anxiety & knowing helped me be prepared!

It is such a personal choice though. We have since discussed whether or not we would want to know if we have any more DC. Both DH and I think that we would like a surprise but feel that we would probably find out so that we can prepare DD. Although that might actually change if I do get PG again!

My husband thinks it's chavvy to find out. I have NO idea where he gets that from, especially as some of our poshest friends have found out.

I have two sons and was convinced my second baby was a girl. I really wanted a girl and I am convinced that if I'd been told at our scan that I was having another boy I'd have been disappointed. That's a horrible way to feel about your baby.

As it was, when he was born I wasn't disappointed at all, because he was just so lovely.

But I do still want a girl, though...

'chavvy to find out'?

I always thought that I wouldn't want to know - I don't want to push gender stereotypes on a young child so why would it be so important to find out? I couldn't see why I would need to know the sex in order to see my baby as a human being!

But come DS1's 20 week scan I had acknowledged to myself that I was really hoping for and expecting a girl (until DS1 my family was pretty much all girls for 3 generations so I couldn't picture anything else). A colleague told me that she cried when she gave birth to her second boy because she had wanted a girl! (needless to say she was mortified afterwards and loves her DS2 to bits regardless!). I realised that if I didn't find out it had the potential to be a big deal and the idea of being disappointed at the birth horrified me, so we found out at the scan. I was pretty surprised to be having a boy but I've "forgiven" him! And bless him, he is in touch with his feminine side...

This time round we wanted to know so we could talk to DS1 about his "sister" or "brother", plus my SIL lives in the US and wanted to know whether to send over her DD's clothes. I really didn't mind either way this time but it has been nice knowing and made choosing a name easier. I wasn't worried with either about them getting it wrong, it was pretty bloody obvious!

kitten, re: 12 week scan -- you can't tell by just looking at the general area the way you would from 16 weeks, because the two sets of organs look pretty much identical at that stage, but there is relatively recent research that shows from about 12 weeks you can tell with a fairly high reliability rate by looking at the angle between the genital tubercule and the spine in profile (assuming baby is in good position to get the relevant profile shot). Most UK sonographers don't do it but it's gaining ground in the US.

I'm having my 20 week scan on Friday and I don't want to know. We didn't find out with the first two, although I had a strong feeling that both would be boys from about 30 weeks onwards. (they were).

I haven't made up my mind this time yet although I am having lots of horrible symptoms I didn't with the others, so I am suspecting a girl this time! I just don't want to know though, it makes no difference as I can't change it now! With DS2 the birth was so quick that he was handed to me and started to feed before I even thought to check if he had a willy or not!

I do find, as several people have said, that most people I speak to are really surprised that we don't want to know. I find that the younger people seem to all want to know, and most older people seem pleased that I don't - I wonder if that's because scans telling you the sex are quite new?

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave is that the whole 'nub' thing and the angle etc. Yes I appreciate that but I dont think the poster found out at 12 weeks no one would commit to sexing a baby that early.

We have one of each and found out both times. I'm now 25 weeks with DC3 and and we really wanted a surprise this time but after 20 week scan DH said it was 'soooo clearly a boy'! Couldn't see anything myself, but he said even though he was trying not to look at the relevant bits, he couldn't miss it! So, we're gearing up for a boy, but maybe it could be our biggest surprise yet...

I found out - I like surprises so much I didn't want to wait until the end!

I also found the whole process of giving birth extremely surprising, didn't feel I needed another one at that point :)

Of course both decisions are entirely valid. What gets my gander is people who ask me what I'm having this time, I tell them and then they ask me why I found out and tell me that they wouldn't. One person even told me they thought it ruined "it" (whatever it might be)

WTF? If you don't want to know, don't ask!

I didn't find out, although everyone told me they though we'd have a boy and we did. :)

TTC#2 now and wouldn't want to find out a second time either. DH would probably like to, but he let me win the first time.

I too loved him telling me 'It's a wee boy' in a croaky voice when DS was finally extricated. (after a v long labour and emcs!)

with ds we had so many scnas (he was breech and they were worried about his growth) that in the end i cracked and we found out. think i was about 30 weeks - it was a wonderful surprise - not sur that waiting another 10 eeks would have made it any more special?

with dd we found out straight away - good idea as i was convinced it was another boy and it gave me time to get excited and to stock up on pink stuff (also meant no stupid questions where people tried to guess based on shape of bump.....)

Is extricated a word? I thought it was when I typed it...