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Original poster

Do most of you find out sex of pregnancy?

197 replies

Janus · 09/11/2010 21:55

We currently have 3 dds and I am pregnant with number 4 and will have 20 week scan next week. We have never found out sex before and we are not worried at all what this one will be but I find most people are surprised we are not finding out.
I like the surprise and, OK, I could get a little more organised if I knew but that seems to be the only reason, or is it? Did you find out and, if so, why?

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nickstermum · 10/11/2010 19:11

Yes i found out, helped me bond! Plus i hate surprises!

Rollercoasteryears · 10/11/2010 19:13

We found out with DS1 - I pushed to do so, DH wasn't sure initially. I wanted to find out because like kitten and ayjayjay (hope names are right!), I really wanted a girl, and wanted time to get used to the idea of a boy. I was disappointed at the scan when they told us and it took me a few days to come to terms with it, but after that I was pleased. By the birth, I was completely on board with the idea of having a son - and I'd have hated to have felt any disappointment on the day. Although this wasn't the reason we did it, I also agree with those who have said it helps you bond with the baby during pregancy and make it more real.

Although we found out, we didn't tell anyone other than our parents though (and we asked them first if they wanted to know) so we were able to announce a surprise on the day!

We're now expecting DC2 and have booked a 3D scan to find out (they won't tell you here). I am slightly torn by it this time though - I'd still like a daughter (and this is our last child so it's the last chance for that) but I love DS so much, I couldn't possibly quibble at another boy Grin. So a 40 week surprise would be fine, just not sure if I've got the patience...

Rollercoasteryears · 10/11/2010 19:15

P.S. The other advantage of not telling others what it is even if you find out, is that you avoid being given all the gender specific stuff if you don't want it - I try to avoid the pink/blue thing so would have hated to be sent lots of "gender appropriate" stuff in advance!

otchayaniye · 10/11/2010 19:47

I found out I was having a girl at 11 weeks (85 pct certainty)

I was having weekly scans and it was in Asia.

otchayaniye · 10/11/2010 19:48

I am luckily not burdened by people buying anything in advance! We got jack

krisskross · 10/11/2010 19:56

No! There are so few surprises in life, its lovely to have a real, genuine surprise.

Dont get it when people say they need to be organised- does everything really need to be blue or pink?

taffetacat · 10/11/2010 20:00

We found out both times. I am dreadfully impatient so it was a no brainer. With DS we found out at 13 weeks as I had CVS for other reasons, with DD we had to wait til scan at 20 weeks and of course a scan isn't as definite an answer as genetic testing.

We didn't tell anyone though, we told people we knew but wanted a surprise for others.

Lynli · 10/11/2010 20:16

I didn't have the option with the first two.

I always said I would not want to know, but when I had tests with DS and they phoned me to say everything was fine, then asked if I wanted to know and I couldn't resist it.

4madboys · 10/11/2010 20:21

we didnt find out for the first three, but did for ds4 and i am now 38wks preg with no 5, which according to scans is a girl!

for no 1 i wanted a suprise and dp wanted a suprise for no 2 and no 3, by no 4 i wanted to know, so we found out but kept it a secret :)

this time round, no 5 and a girl after 4 boys i was CONVINCED i was having another boy, we werent going to find out and then the sonographer said she had a really good view and did we want to know, dp immediately said yes!

then the poor sonographer spent the rest of the scan saying it REALLY is a girl as we wouldnt believe her Blush she actually said to us, she isnt allowed to say she is 100% sure, but that she WAS 100% sure! i still booked and had a private scan at 28wks to check, where i saw for myself that she is indeed a girl.

however despite that i havent really bought anything girly (have been given loads) and all the first outfits i have ready, babygrows etc are unisex.

we also have a name picked if she comes out a he, but are struggling with a girls name Hmm

anyhow as i am 38wks we shall find out for sure soon!

maxpower · 10/11/2010 20:31

I think this is one of those issues where people who do want to know can't understand why you wouldn't and vice versa.

With DD, all the way through the pg I was convinced I didn't have a preference and we have always been adamant that we wouldn't ever find out the gender before d-day. However, when she was delivered and I found out she was a she, I was absolutely thrilled and realised that I had had a preference. I then became convinced that we'd only have girls. This time round, I'm pretty sure it's a boy which took me a little while to adjust to. However, unlike those of you who had a preference and wanted to be prepared if it wasn't to be, the major reason I didn't find out this time was that I didn't want any sense of disappointment. I figure that when this one arrives, I'll be so elated I won't care what it is.

taffetacat · 10/11/2010 20:34

...and I loved finding out with DS. We'd had problems, then further problems early in the pregnancy, then lots of worry with CVS, and then the joy of being told I was carrying a healthy boy, indescribable. I was told at 18 years old I probably couldn't have children, but very deep down somewhere I had a desire for a boy. I didn't realise it until I was pregnant, at 36.

My darling girl, born nearly 3 years after is every bit as precious.

I still can't quite believe how lucky I am.

LittlebearH · 10/11/2010 20:35

I found out and it made it all the more real somehow. Like i was already bonding with her.

I was so happy!

Citymum2one · 10/11/2010 20:37

I waited for the surprise at the end...did all the old wives tales though to try and guess and that came out to be a ds..completely wrong we have a dd! None of my NCT group found out either which was unusual and even more unusual we all had dds!

MogTheForgetfulCat · 10/11/2010 21:40

I didn't with DS1 and DS2 - wanted the surprise, and was glad to have that, although had strong feelings with both that they were boys.

Now pg with DC3, and have found out - wanted to tell the DSs whether they were getting a brother or sister. It's the former, and although I feel a tiny bit sad not to have the surprise, I am also v excited to know!

pippylongstockings · 10/11/2010 21:43

No! No! No! - there so very precious little left as a suprise in life AND it's a 50/50 chance of one outcome one way or the other Wink

I loved the whole old wife's tales, chinese prediction horoscopes etc (which were accurate with both my preg)

The suprise gives you some thing worth pushing for and such a lovely lovely lovely thing for your OH/birthing partner to be able to utter those magical words - 'It's a boy/girl!'

Teaandcakeplease · 10/11/2010 21:47

4madboys - Your DD is a lucky girl. I have 4 brothers and it rocks! I was the joint youngest, (I have a twin brother). My only problem was my mum was so used to bringing up boys that she tried all the same tricks discipline wise that worked with the boys and they didn't work with me as I was so stubborn different Grin Love love love having 4 brothers Smile

Citymum - all 8 women in my NCT group 3 years ago had all girls too Smile

NotanOtter · 10/11/2010 21:59

love this!
My dd has 5 brothers - everyone says 'must be hard for her' and we are Wink she is the one who rules the roost!!

PinkieMinx · 10/11/2010 22:07

It was a surprise when I found out Smile

Teaandcakeplease · 10/11/2010 22:10

Notan everyone said that to me growing up and I never agreed. It was great, I could also horribly embarrass them once I was a teenager with all sorts of girlie things

GreatGreenArkleseziure · 10/11/2010 22:16

no i was sure i didnt want to know. and neither did DH
was hard as i had PE and was having scans every other day for the last few weeks, i would look through my fingers and say 'just tell me babys ok, dont tell me if you can see a willy'
after all the probs, we knew all we wanted was a healthy baby
was wonderful to have the surprise.

onlyjuststillme · 10/11/2010 23:16

I found out and am very glad we did. Birth did not go so well and I only got to see the briefest glimpse of babies face before we were whisked off in differen directions! I dont think I could have dealt with any more surprises!

Very happy with what we got, but would have been either way.

chester21 · 10/11/2010 23:18

if baby plays ball i am 90% certain i will find out yet a small part of me wants a surprise but i am hopeless at surprises i am the one under the xmas tree STILL trying to figure out what i got lol

tothesea · 10/11/2010 23:30

Was a surprise with DS but only because no 20 week scans in our area then. It was nice to have the surprise but I had felt strongly from early on he was a boy.
This time I thought/hoped was having a girl as is our last DC. Even had a dream that we found out was a girl at the scan. Also DS wanted a sister and I would have hated him to be disappointed coming up to meet DC for first time. I felt I would also need a bit of time to get my head around the fact it wasn't a girl
Most of all if the information was there for the taking there is no way I could not find out!
At the scan there was no mistaking the little willy sticking right up!

Slight disappointment on hearing but just delighted all is well and now very protective of my little boy Smile

Winedine69me · 10/11/2010 23:46

I wanted to know but before the doctor said anything during the scan, there were testicles quite visible on the screen so it was obvious what we were having Smile

abgirl · 11/11/2010 00:31

I didn't want to know with DS1, for all the surprise reasons others have put on here. However birth didn't go well and with DS2 I really wanted to know so I would have one thing to hold onto if he ended up going straight to SCBU (as had happened with DS1) and it helped me feel a bit more in control of everything - which also hadn't happened at all with DS1. However DH didn't want to know so I sent him out of the scan room and got the sonographer to tell me on my own and then kept the secret for the next 20 weeks :) It was the happiest secret I've ever had...