Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Do most of you find out sex of pregnancy?

197 replies

Janus · 09/11/2010 21:55

We currently have 3 dds and I am pregnant with number 4 and will have 20 week scan next week. We have never found out sex before and we are not worried at all what this one will be but I find most people are surprised we are not finding out.
I like the surprise and, OK, I could get a little more organised if I knew but that seems to be the only reason, or is it? Did you find out and, if so, why?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
ethelina · 10/11/2010 09:22

We did. I hate surprises. I am not capable of refusing to find out if the option is there. I am very glad we did and would do so again every time.

Marrow · 10/11/2010 09:25

Didn't find out with either. I love the anticipation and excitement wondering what it will be!

southlondonlady · 10/11/2010 09:28

We did - it was really lovely to find out and we both found that we could connect more to baby as a person, if that makes sense.

clarabella18 · 10/11/2010 09:29

We didn't with our 1st although I was convinced all the way through that it was a boy and I was right!
We will with this one though I too like the thought of being able to refer to it as my son/daughter before it's even here and also cos ds is desperate for a baby sister it will give him time to vet used to it should it turn out to be a brother!

SaorAlba · 10/11/2010 09:32

We won't be finding out. I live surprises but DP hates them, so we had a wee bit of disagreement until we found out that our hospital doesn't tell you. Problem solved and I won :D

supersunnyday · 10/11/2010 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justtrying · 10/11/2010 09:35

We're not planning to find out will be happy either way, have chosen both a boy's and girl's name. DH sure it will be a girl, he already has a DD and all his brothers only have girls. Provided the baby is healthy we'll be happy.

manchestermummy · 10/11/2010 09:36

We didn't last time and haven't this time. Mainly we want the surprise - a healthy baby is all I truly care about - but partly because it annoys the crap out of my MIL, who last time told us we were "making people's lives difficult by not finding out" and this time got all angry with us!

Every little helps, as they say...

excitedfirsttimer · 10/11/2010 09:52

We did and I am glad we did, its nice now we know we have a son in the oven and we can start saying him, not it. Makes it seem more real somehow.

ecuse · 10/11/2010 09:59

I'm 17 wks with my first and we've decided not to find out, although I'm sure I will be tempted on the day. Mostly because I don't want to be swamped with pink princessy crap if it's a girl etc

TheGrumpalo · 10/11/2010 10:01

I didn't with my first, it was a lovely surprise. With my second I did but I was given a 3d scan and it was too tempting not to!

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 10/11/2010 10:06

Yes, all three times. Based on statistics from the February 2011 group, about 75% of us find out.

nancy10 · 10/11/2010 10:08

I'm the other way round to you. I already have 3 ds and am 15 weeks pregnant with our 4th. We have chosen not to find out either. Most people I know find out and are surprised we have chosen not to. A friend of mine had a private scan at 16 weeks to find out the sex of her baby because she couldn't wait until the 20 week scan. Also I like to keep all my family and friends in suspense! Smile

Gemjar · 10/11/2010 10:11

I would always want to know, I hate calling a baby 'it' and love the fact that I can start talking to them as actual people from 20 weeks.

Also, I always found it a bit strange that people need an extra thing to look forward to when their baby is born, is having a child in the first place not big enough of a deal?

oneandonlybogwoppit · 10/11/2010 10:12

I found out both times and haven't regretting it at all. I never got too organised either and only bought the white basics anyway, (I have a thing about buying clothes before they arrived). We shortlisted a few names both times but never decided on one until they arrived (even a day or two later).
I'm pregnant again and have my anomaly scan booked for next week. I'm thinking twice about finding out this time. I already have two boys, so could change a few things if we are having a girl, but this time I really don't mind.
Someone mentioned that the most heartwarming words she'd ever heard was "it's a girl" and I can understand that now.
I probably won't be having another baby after this one, so I'm thinking perhaps I should allow myself the surprise and the experience of those lovely words.
Either way, I've never known anyone regret their decision.

NotShortImFunSized · 10/11/2010 10:13

I didn't with ds1 & ds2 just because I really wanted the surprise at the end.

Then we did the 3rd time as I was too impatient Grin That was dd1.

The next time I thought we'd best check as I'd gone waaay OTT with the pink, literally everything was pink. Just as well we found out as that was ds3! Swapped all pink for blue.

Then dc5 we found out for same reason as above and had to again swap back to pink for dd2 Grin

I think it's totally up to the couple involved whether they want to know or not. It's a very personal choice.

Jcee · 10/11/2010 10:13

I wasn't planning to find out as I wanted a surprise, but had to have an amnio and surprised myself by deciding to find out.

I'm glad we did, as it made it feel much more real and I could plan accordingly.

We were a bit naughty though at the 20 week scan as we pretended we didn't know so we could see if the sonographer got it right. She did!

DuelingFanjo · 10/11/2010 10:14

I haven't found out. I want DH to tell me on the day.

DuelingFanjo · 10/11/2010 10:17

Though like Jcee I had the amnio and I have the ex in an envelope in my file. Not looked though!

SoLongAsItsHealthy · 10/11/2010 10:20

Why is it more of a surprise when they tell you at 40 weeks than at 20? I don't get that.

Personally, I loved knowing, it made choosing a name easier (and somehow a less abstract decision too) and I could really start to imagine life with my baby more clearly. It gave me a lovely boost halfway through the pregnancy too. We were every bit as excited as we would have been on the day. There's so much else to think abut on the day of the birth, I imagine the gender of the baby gets lost in it all.

We didn't tell anyone else though - as a third party, I do like to be surprised on the birth-day!

PaigeTurner · 10/11/2010 10:29

I found out, because I was so depressed and not coping with the pregnancy, so wanted to try and bond with him before he arrives.

Jcee · 10/11/2010 10:30

Duelling I can't believe that - you must have much more willpower than me!

I think that's why I decided to find out, it would have eaten me up knowing it was on a bit of paper somewhere and I couldn't see it

funtimewincies · 10/11/2010 10:38

Congratulations! I'm very Envy about all your children. We've had to stop at 2, but I'd have loved more.

We opted not to find out with ds2 and the hospital's policy was not to tell with ds1. I'm pleased we waited, although it took a good 10 mins after ds2's (rather dramatic) birth to say 'by the way, is it a boy or a girl?' Grin.

DuelingFanjo · 10/11/2010 10:45

just realised I said I have the 'ex in an envelope'!
ho ho.

I have very strong willpower. I don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl as it's not really very important to me to get gender specific stuff or know what I am having in advance.

Pesha · 10/11/2010 10:50

With dd and ds1 I didnt find out because the hospital policy was not to tell people. I probably would have if I could though, I'm not a patient person!

With ds2 I found out, partly because I wanted to know but also because dd was in the large bedroom and ds1 was in the box room so if I was going to have to swap them around and redecorate then I wanted to do it while I was pg and had the time and not when I had a small, non-sleeping, permanently feeding baby to contend with!

Am now 6 wks pg with #4 and intend to find out again as if its another girl we're going to have to think about moving house! I could fit 3 in the boy's room but no way of squeezing another person into dd's room!

And dp is convinced his family only do boys (dd has a different dad), as he is one of 2 boys, his brother has just boys and obviously so do we Hmm I think if it is a girl hes going to need a little while to get over the shock!!