for mums 2be moving on...part TWO

[Marina]

Wills, so pleased the baby is the right way up. I don't know much about pre-eclampsia but understood it is always a risk if you had it in your first pregnancy. Very much hoping Mears or Leese is around to enlighten you professionally. Let us know how you are doing, and let's all send the vibe equivalent of raspberry leaf tea in the direction of the Peak District this weekend!

Gosh, thanks all, what kind thoughts and much appreciated. Wills, I am sneaking up on you...140/88 before I even had the pleasure of chatting with the SHO. I should perhaps have made it clear that she did go off and get a second opinion with the Senior Reg on the team who will probably be the man who does the snipping - he clearly felt he didn't even have to come in and see me in person, but I am probably being hypersensitive now because my consultant's team is a good one and well-rated locally.
I could get a second opinion, but I felt in my bones that the consultant himself was going to deliver the same message I in fact got today. It was more the manner in which it was conveyed...
Wills, I think we've both worn ourselves into the ground really, haven't we. I feel I have expended so much nervous energy sustaining this pregnancy and not cracking up too much in public that at the end of nine months I am not my usual assertive self. This time last year I would have given that SHO a piece of my mind for being so bl**dy crass.
Wills, best of luck on Thursday - I hope you get to see the consultant and voice your fears. I am indeed SE London and some day you and I are going to get utterly plastered at a Mumsnet meet-up (drinks on me, everyone...)!
I am going to mobilise my trusty bereavement midwife tomorrow with any luck and blag myself a free side room. If they want proof of psychological disturbance/need I will gladly furnish it at 150Db with added vomit and furniture hurling...
Better give dh a tutorial and HIS OWN Mumsnet account, don't want him impersonating me while I am chained to my bed and posting nonsense (no change there then).
Thanks again, all.

Marina - When is your actual due date? How non-engaged are we talking. Babies often do not engage until you go into labour if you have had a baby already, but they sit poised in the brim of the pelvis. In your case, could you ask the consultant to allow you to wait to see if the head will engage during spontaneous labour. If not then a repeat C/S would be a good idea. Also I would advise against induction as well. I can understand how tired you feel about it all. Over the internet I obviously cannot make an informed judgement so it may just add to your confusion. Apologies if that is the case. It is amazing to think that your baby will soon be here - seems like no time since you announced your pregnancy.

Wills - I hope that you start to adjust to your medication soon. The longer you take it the more accustomed you become to it and therefore suffer less of the side effects. If it is of any comfort, women with raised blood pressure often labour quite quickly when it gets going. Hope that happens in your case.

Marina ... so so sorry that you are having this awful time. I wish I could say something sensible to make you feel better but not knowing what to say I will just send lots of cyber hugs from me to you .... {{{{{}}}}}
Wills ... you too .... {{{{{}}}}}
PS ... Wills ... did get your e-mail and thanks for getting in touch ... will try to write properly at the w/e ... xxx

marina, so sorry to hear this news. it must be very disappointing, especially when you had such a bad experience last time. do you think you might feel up to asking for a second opinion? totally understand if you just can't face it.

i've heard they're trying to do more "bedside manner" training at medical schools these days, and not before time by the sound of it.

i look forward to congratulating you next week - your dh's nickname will have to be "troytempest"

Oh Marina, so sorry to hear this. All the best for next week and we all look forward to hearing the announcement by 'troytempest'!!
Wills, all the best to you to. Lots of hugs!!!
Amongst all this late pg stuff I was just going to add that I am going to book a private early scan even though it means getting on the plane again - I live on an Island. I just cannot trust my area to give me one and they seemed surprised I wanted one!! I have been so fed up with not knowing I think I'm best having one set up just in case. I couldn't bear going through another 'missed' miscarriage. I will wait until 9 weeks and then the 'blip' of 8.5 weeks would be gone. I've heard it's really uncommon to have a 'missed' one for so long so would'nt expect it again but as I'm sure you all understand you can't help thinking it will happen again.
Good luck all xxxxx

HI All - oh Marina I am so very sorry. I totally understand you feeling too tired to fight. Just bear in mind that you've got the support of mears and pupace if you do decided to question it all but its hard to fight in a system which makes you feel so helpless, expecially when you are always going to be scared in case they are right. Go for that private room and just think - you will be holding your baby soon

Wills - same thing - its not surprising you feel down with everything going on and feeling so tired. I've been feeling really low myself for no reason other than feeling exhausted and lack of sleep.

Quackers - good for you about the scan. I know how scary this stage is. I think we should all go back and read our earlier postings just to see how hard it was and how far we've all come.

Well I presented DH with a bowl last night and he nearly fainted but gave a flat no. So thats that - no more nookie. However he has promised me a foot massage tonight - where do I direct him? I got really cross with him actually about how little he's doing to help and support me so he's feeling a bit got at now. Serves him right.

Anyway kids are climbing the walls so have decided to be brave and take them out with a friend today. Gulp! Going to have to cross my legs really tightly till we get back but don't panic about not hearing from me.

You didn't seriously present him with a bowl Katherine - absolutely wonderful!

OK - I've given myself a very strong talking to last night! Its time to get back to enjoying myself! The problem is that I feel better in the morning than I do at night but that's because I've just got up. Mears, thanks for letting me know that my system will get used to the drugs. My doctor has just told me that one of the side affects is that they make you "blue" so its really nice to know that that will improve. Must concentrate on the goodstuff and actually all things considered theres loads of that . Little one is fine, dd is gorgeous and dh is running around me - he's actually coming home and doing housework unrequested - gasps of amazement please! Ah and the sun is shining - possibly a trip out is required today!

Katherine - must ask - do you sometimes feel that your baby's head is going to "grind" its way out and not actually bother with labour?

Marina - I'll email something

Pie - Prozac - possibly I'll see my consultant tomorrow (if I can find the energy to fight with the receptionist - maybe I should go straight for bribery and just take in chocolate - hmm too obvious?) and I'll ask him about others.

Pupuce - the hospital are adament that my community mws are wrong and that there is no protein. If I do see my consultant tomorrow I'm going to ask about the possibility of everything settling out and getting back to homebirth. My consultant is great its just that I don't get to see him very often.

Quackers - Good idea, I did the same at 10/11 wks and also had the nuchal scan done. Can't remember the best time for the nuchal scan and you're also not in the UK??? so possibly they are better where you are but here they didn't do a nuchal scan so I managed to combine my "I need a scan to reassure me" with "lets get a nuchal scan done to be sure". Made dh happier!

That's great Will sthanks for that. No it's a bit prehistoric here. NO nuchals. Will prob book that too! You sound much brighter today!!
Katherine, I am going to go and have alooka t the old threads to see what you were all like in ealry days!! You are all such an inspiration and all of you have had successess from what I can see, so I should have a little faith. My symptoms are just not very strong. I didn't really have alot with my first, just queasy from about week 7. I have back ache and big boobs, gone off tea and coffee, tiny bit queasy now and again. Hope it's enough!! Good luck this week and next, there will be at least one graduate!!!

Wills this baby was so active last night I thought it was just going to pop onto the bed. But I often get this feeling like the baby is stretching its legs against my ribs and the pressure down below is incredible. I keep waiting for that familiar pop but nothing yet. And as for going to the loo - sometimes feel like I'm going to be wiping the babies head rather than me! (sorry if that is a bit gross but thats just how it feels). Doing loads of bowel movements at the moment which is what happened just after waters broke with DD but been going on all week and nothing doing. Every time I feel the pressure though I keep thinking "Do I need to poo or have I just skipped straight through to delivering the head!"

DH face was a picture. Become a bit of a joke actually. He announced this morning that work has arranged another meeting for him in London on Monday (came home on Friday expecting me to be chuffed he'd post-poned it, couldn't understand why I was so angry he'd arranged it in the first place!) - anyway apparently they are not "counting on him"! Huh! Well when I told me I didin't say a word - just handed him a jug!

A jug Katherine, he should be so lucky!!!

Katherine - that's it exactly! Don't remember feeling this with dd but it is 3 years ago. Honestly I'm hopeful that little one and I wont actually bother with labour, its head could only be a milimeter away etc. Was induced last time and it lasted 29 hours so still hopeful that it wont be so long when natural ! As for the legs pushing - glad to know I'm not the only one! Oh and yes bowl movements - extremely regular !

A jug - wow, unfortunately my dh would just look hopeful! I'm glad to say he's certainly not turned off by my huge belly!

Just wanted to share a little good news. My consultants Sec called to say he wants to scan me next week and then 3 weeks later and then 3 weeks after that!! I'm so pleased I could jump over a dolls house!! At least they care and I will know either way. I think that is what's most important this time - just knowing, I went through 2 months of now knowing last time and I never want to go through that again. I haven't had alot of symptoms, hope this still emans I'm ok. I'm no more than six weeks, or six weeks on Friday. Hope you;re all ok this afters and enjoying some sun???

Excellent news Quackers but please don't vault the dolls house - you might knock the chimneys off

As for the jug thing well I think it would me that should be so lucky really. Don't know why he's suddenly gone all paranoid as we had sex the day before DD arrived so obviously didn't put him off last time (and obviously did the trick as well!). Still you never know where a foot massage might lead.........

Just had a lovely day out with a friend and her daughter. We took the kids to a soft play area so my two are no longer climbing the walls and it was nice to speak to someone in the flesh. Was complaining to DH last night that my closest freinds at the moment are in cyberspace and I don't even know their real names! I was pretty paranoid all the time we were there but it was just so nice to get out.

I really like this time of day. DH is on his was home, kids are happy and plenty of time to pop a babe before ER! Somehow just don't feel like its going to happen tonight though. Any news on Musica?

ER!! Yessss!! Love it, That would be funny! You in labour - DEMANDING that ER be shown!!
Yes I'm really pleased about that - feel looked after again now!
I think when you've gone form having a first pg and all the excitement to having kids and being pg makes the sex proposal a bit more exhausting. It must be hard at this stage now Katherine to summon up the energy and your DH is probably feeling the pinch a bit. Kids are hard work aren't they - but they're worth it!! Well, most of the time anyway!!

Actually Quackers I'm raring to go. Its DH that is reluctant. At the beginning of the pg I couldn't bear to be touched but now, despite feeling unattractive, I can't get enough - not that I'm getting any.

Dad has just phoned though to say my mum has been rushed into hospital after a fall with a head injury. Just hope its nothing too serious as they live 3 hrs away.

Anywaone know if this is going to be the last ER (sniff sniff) - seems to have been on a while and I was wondering if they were replacing it with Teachers?

Oh Katherine, hope she's ok. If it doesn't rain - it pours!Let us know how she is.
ER - Oh I don't know what will happen, seems to be near the end though. I think they will spilt though. ER has this funny unconvetional way of doing things differently and not how you would love it to end.

Sorry to hear about your mum, Katherine, do hope it's just a precaution and she is out soon. Not really what you need to hear when travelling is not an option
Quackers, great news about your scans, sounds like they are taking good care of you in terms of reassurance. My symptoms for all pregnancies really did not kick in much until about 7.5 to 8 weeks, if that helps - and they definitely reach a crescendo of loveliness at about week 13 for me!
There is at least one more episode of ER after tonight and I am thinking about sending dh out mini-cabbing so that I can afford a telly-card and watch it in hospital next week.
Mears, thanks so much for your informed input as ever. I wish any one of the midwives on my community team could express herself as well as you always do - they are an experienced team so I find it impossible to believe that their collective "embarrassed" response to my history and current pregnancy lately is down to lack of experience of clients who have previously experienced loss.
The baby's head is free of the pelvis and she is large for dates - in excess of 9lb at 39 weeks, they are guesstimating, but of course admit it could be 20% either way. I can also fully understand why an induction is not feasible with a history of scar dehiscence and never really wanted/counted on that. BUT I have a selfish - or self-preservation, if you like - preoccupation about going over 40 weeks. If I am left to go into labour spontaneously I suspect I will be 41 weeks plus as I know I ovulated on day 21 of the relevant cycle - I was charting. This takes me almost to the first anniversary of Tom's death and induction and I am not sure I will cope very well with whatever transpires around that time. I feel it's going to be quite important for my relationship with this baby that she has separate dates to Tom and is not too much snarled up with how I will be feeling around the 22nd/25th.
Wills, I will look forward to getting that e-mail and am very glad to hear that even if you don't always get to see him, your consultant is proving helpful and explaining the drugs properly.
Goodnight all, and sending positive vibes Peak-wards again!

Katherine, I love your expression 'plenty of time to pop a babe before ER', fab! Marina, I can completely understand why this one needs to be very different in terms of dates and everything else - you'd really think the midwifery team would be able to grasp it too wouldn't you? It's not hard.

Marina - I am hesitating to post this but scans and weight are notoriously wrong and who says you can't get a 9lbs out ???? I've seen you !

This si more for the others but in the last 2 births I attended... the first one was scanned at 38 week - as it happened she went into labour 12 hours later... scanned at 10lbs2 - delivered 8lbs10
The other was seriously scanned (i.e 3 times in 3 weeks 32/33/34 weeks) and they kept saying "big for dates" - at 34 weeks baby was measured at 7lbs.... she was scanned (again!) 3 days before birth (39 weeks)... told 9lbs (this is 5 weeks after the 7lbs) and she delivered 9lbs 2 oz...

Marina - can totally understand why you would want to avoid Tom's dates. Perhaps you are best to concentrate on getting mentally prepared for your C/S. You must get into a positive frame of mind and look forward to meeting your dd.

Wills - are you having regular blood checks because of your raised blood pressure? You should be. As well as looking for protein in your urine, the urate level in your blood will be measured and that is an indicator of pre-eclampsia. Your platelet level is also important.If they are normal then it is more likely that you have essential hypertension. I would imagine that the hospital will still want you in there for delivery but in essence you cannot be stopped from having a homebirth. I would say though I have seen women develop pre-eclampsia during labour, so if you started off at home you should keep an open mind about transferring in. Just a thought.

Hope your mum recovers quickly Katherine.

Thanks all she's been discharged with a few stitches and a big bump. Trouble is they are both so frail. Dad saw her fall going in to a neighbour but he's in a wheelchair and couldn't get past the neighbours car to her. He had to go back nto their house to phone neighbour to come out to her. He must have felt so helpless. Still at least she's OK. Such a worry though.

Got to watch ER with no trouble. Positive that next weeks will be the last though seeing as half the Drs are leaving. Poor Carter and Abby. It was so sad.

Managed to get my foot massage too well a quick slapping on of cream at least, and made to feel guilty for that. Grrrrrrr. Didn't have much effect although I did seem to get more sleeep last night. Feel even more groggy this morning though and my legs really ache.

Marina from what you have said about dates, although its rough that you won't get your HB I think it will help to know when things are going to happen. Just be positive and think about meeting this little one. Big Hugs.

Mears - I'm not getting my blood checked, which has confused my community mw as well. They are still checking the bp level and my urine. The problem is that when I was checked for 24hrs my bp (diastollic) ranged from 75 to 108. 75 whilst I slept but during waking hours between 88 and 108 - all over the place. I can't see how a single reading taken during the day can suddenly allow them to say that the pills have resolved it and that it is now steady (if a little high (92)). However fingers crossed I get to see my consultant today and I will ask him to explain. As for a homebirth it was more the desire for a normal birth that I crave IYSWIM. If my bp returns to normal then hopefully a homebirth will be back on the cards if not though I will go in although it does leave me "quaking in my boots" .

Katherine - really glad to hear that your Mum is ok. SOD obviously had his eyes closed at that moment - phew.

Good to har she's ok Katherine. Gosh ER, is it really over do you think? Who is leaving - not Carter???? It was bad enough when Anthony Edwards left!!
Thanks Marina, it does help to know symptoms might not kick in but I feel like last time but even less pg. I know each is diff, but only a week maybe to go and I'll hopefully know that SO far its ok and then 3 weeks after will defo tell me. Just don't really feel that pg.

. The consultant was great! Had to wait over 2.5 hours to see him but actually it was worth it. My bp is once again over 100 but he said he wasn't worried. There's no protein therefore he's simply not going to worry. He's increased my pills (unfortunately) and wants me to have a full review on Monday, SCAN and all. The scan is because there is a little bit of concern that baby is small for its dates and it wasn't at 20 weeks. I will then be attached to a walking bp unit which I can take home for a 24hr review. This is more like it. At least that way they will have a far better picture! We also talked about homebirth. He asked why I wanted it so much and I said because I felt more in control, besides I've got to know the community midwives far better. He's not happy about me having a HB as he feels that its a little too risky however in order to try and give me the birth I desire he suggested that a room be given over to me and that the community midwives attend me instead. Now all I have to do is ask their permission - this has made me a lot happier! Its certainly not the same as a homebirth but I'm not willing to push the matter if medically people are not happy. We also discussed being induced and I explained that this was the root of most of my fears. He told me that he too is anti women being induced and if I liked he wouldn't even review the possibility until I am 40 + 12 . He explained that he had been trying to see me now for some weeks because when I had my asthma attack a colleague of his at another hospital had looked after me and he felt that it was now his turn to make sure all was well (not sure he tried very hard, but it was a nice thing say regardless).

Not keen on the pills because they make me a little blue and rather dopey but all in all its a trival matter.

V. good day all in all.