for mums 2be moving on...part TWO

[Marina]

Wills, so pleased the baby is the right way up. I don't know much about pre-eclampsia but understood it is always a risk if you had it in your first pregnancy. Very much hoping Mears or Leese is around to enlighten you professionally. Let us know how you are doing, and let's all send the vibe equivalent of raspberry leaf tea in the direction of the Peak District this weekend!

Hello everyone, gosh I missed alot yesterday. Katherine, I can only echo the thoughts of everyone here and let you know I'm thinking of you!! I do hope you get the birth you want. People drive you mad asking all the time. They think it's a big joke, when you;re going to pop. I just didn't answer the phone in the end as I went to almost 42 weeks.
Thanks Wills! I feel ok at the moment and I rang my consultants secretary to confirm whether I would get an early scan or not. My doc was very helpful and just put on my form 'was promised scan' - very technical. I was so worried I wouldn't be seen until 16 weeks and the baby have gone again at 8 weeks. The sec was great and said she would look out for my form. There is no policy here for poeple who have m/carried or EPU.
Good luck Marina too, yes it's a long slog and I'm just at the beginning! I pray we all have healthy babies.
Hilary, your going along well. Can't believe you're over 9 weeks now! With any luck we'll still be here when the others have graduated!!!
Take care all, sorry haven't time to write loads, boss just came in!
Qxxxx

Wills - a good friend has told me this about your condition... this is an obstetrician.,.. if that is of interest you can contact me off-line..

"Pre-eclampsia is, in general, a disease of first pregnancy. The prerequisite to diagnose pre-eclampsia is to have at least 300mg protein per 24 hours in the urine.
It would be useful to know more about what has been called pre-eclampsia at the end of the first pregnancy. What was the amount of protein in the urine? What was the baby's birth weight? Pre-eclampsia is overdiagnosed and high blood pressure - which is usually a physiological response to the demand by placenta-fetus - is usually overtreated."

That was meant to read NOT very helpful! Useless in fact.

Pupuce, must admit that I think you've got it. I've always wondered about my last labour and whether or not I truly had pre-E. At 40+2 days I had the worst row with my dh that we've ever had. A real fundamental humdinger with me phoning my mother and telling her I was moving out etc etc etc. Guess what I had high blood pressure the next day - not really surprising. It was still high by 40+4 so I was advised that I had signs of pre-E and that I should agree to being induced (not really understanding what induction was going to mean I happily agreed). I really need to get into the loft and dig out my old notes as there are many things I can't remember. I do know that because I've changed hospitals that the current hospital have not made any attempt to lookup my previous notes at the other hospital - presumably because of cutbacks - but that has surprised me. I'm constantly being told that each pregnancy is different however even so I'm still the same person so surely I will have "trends" for/not for things?

I can accept that I now have high blood pressure, that is obvious, but the hospital staff are once again "taking" over. Its strange but they take certain decisions without discussing things with you i.e. no homebirth and yet ask you for your agreement to things that you have no knowledge about like "we're going to put you on bp pills - is that ok?" - I'm not a doctor and don't have the necessary knowledge to know whether or not that is ok !

I'll try to find my notes.

Hi Everyone. Feeling much more chilled out today. Just going to take things as they come (but stay at home unless something is wrong) so thanks everyone for calming me down, especially mears and pupace for their advice. DH is behind me so things should be OK.

I feel like I am constantly rushing my children though - Hurry up and eat your dinner, come on walk quicker, nag nag nag - poor things can never keep up! Feel I am now doing the same thing to this little one before its even put in an appearance so time to sit back and enjoy the sunshine and see what happens.

Wills & Marina - don't give up on HB just yet - you never know how these things are going to turn out so just keep your options open. Can't see any reason why both of you can't still end up with the birth you want from what Mears and Pupace have said. Does anyone else get really wound up about the amount of unecessary intervention etc which takes place. I mean if they focussed their resources where they really are needed instead of meddling all the time imagine how much better the service would be!

Anyway I am not going to rant today. Thinking calm, dust free thoughts. (Just need to get hold of a plasterer now...no no no)

Good to hear you're doing good today Katherine, dust and all!! I am really interested in a homebirth but my first baby was high risk and despite this the medical staff left me to it which of course I'm pleased about. They did as little meddling as poss in the circumstances. I have now moved though and have very little confidence in them here since m/c!
Would be great if we could all have Mears and Pupuce to hand at the critical moment!

Having said that quackers there are some really great mws out there. For some reason I can easily distinguish between mws working in the community who I really like and those at the hospital who come across as cold and unfeeling. Part of the reason I'm so disappointed in not getting the homebirth is that I've built up a lot of trust in all the community midwives that I've had the pleasure of meeting and yet never manage to feel the same rapour with those that I meet at hospital. My community mw has just been and as normal - was wonderful. BP still high but she explained why little one had suddenly gone rather quiet - the pills I'm on are slowing it down as well. The doctor told me that the pills don't cross the placenta - well if that's true how can they be slowing baby down. She also explained why I'm feeling a little spaced out, the pills again, I had become a little nervous that my bp was going through the roof etc. Finally my community mws ALWAYS find protein whilst the hospital NEVER find protein. Ah well.

Katherine - shame we're not closer (distance wise) as I know an absolute fantastic plasterer who adores pregnant women, babies, kids etc and would probably drop everything just to get the house plastered for you before your little one arrives. Good plasterers are worth their weight in gold. Our next door neighbours but one couldn't find any so the husband elected to do it himself - so he plasters, the sands, then plasters, then sands, then plasters.... Can you imagine what their house looks like. I swear his wife is close to demanding a divorce.

One thing mw did say is that baby is fully engaged and must have been engaged all along after all! So I was right 3 or 4 weeks ago when I felt that little one had engaged - its nice to know I can trust my senses after all.

Hi All. How is everyone feeling today. I feel like a zombie after a horrible night. Couldn't sleep at all I was so uncomfy and DH was snoring like a steam train. I had a blanket over me watching TV as I was chilly but its like as soon as I go to bed this internal boiler kicks in and I'm so hot I can feel the sweat dripping off me. It was horrible. Think I might try some extra pillows tonight to see if that helps. Oh and I tried to "tempt" DH but he said he didn't want to shake the baby. Huh. Don't buy that for a minute so feeling totally rejected now too

Too tired to go into labour today. Think I might just go back to bed!

Wills don't you feel smug that the baby had tunred after all and the senior MW was wrong. I hope that gives you confidence to question some of the other stuff they throw at you.

Hilary and Quackers - the first 12 weeks simply crawled by and took forever but now suddenly I'm here. Things will speed up I promise. Ghosty, Pie and Marina. Hugs.

All you need is sperm applied in vagina/cervix! No need to get all excited

Wills - did you find your notes ?

Pupuce, what a wonderful response to Katherine. Off you go Katherine, tell him you don't need to make love just need to borrow a bit ! Unfortunately not found my notes, will keep looking.

Actually I'm feeling quite sorry for myself. Rather than feeling smug it has shown me that they are often wrong and that my gut feelings are right - so why blue? Because hospitals just take over. Musica's started another thread and she's echoing an awful lot of my feelings. During the day I'm fine but at night I just lie there remember dd's birth and how scarey the whole thing was etc and I'm really starting to feel frightened by the whole thing. Talked it through with my cousin this morning and she suggested asking the community midwives whether or not they ever attended hospital births - its certainly worth a go although I'm skeptical. I would feel far happier with someone there that I know has listened to me etc. I should also probably arrange a visit to the delivery suite just so I now what to do - its not like I'm not visiting the hospital every other day at the moment anyway!

I know what you mean about the internal boiler - mine seems to be located in my feet which "sing" at night - IYKWIM. .

I do hope we all have happy endings/

Wills I know just what you mean about feeling blue. When I read the stuff on the Aims website as recommeded by Pupace, about how it is common to tell women they might not get their HB post 37 weeks as they are less likley to argue, it just made me depressed that I was going through what so many other women go through. Felt reassured after talking to DH but still find it all so sad that we seem to have to fight so hard to get the birth we want.

I even tried blackmailing DH last night telling him I always go off sex when Breastfeeding so this might be his last chance for months. Wonder what he'll say if I hand him a little pot tonight...

Yes do report back Katherine

Wills - so what is your protein now????? Don't get bullied PLEASE!!!! which part of the UK are you in ?

Off to the hospital now.

Katherine - that would blow my husband's brain!

Quackers - you can always have a birth doula.... I am "virtually" birth doulaing my SIL as we speak.... but she has gone for an ARM this AM (artificial rupture of membrane) IMO BIG mitstake but her body, her baby, her decision

Oh Hi Pupuce. Yes it is a good idea, but I am very satisfied with my DH as birth partner, he was surprisingly amazing last time and was much more encouraging than the m/w's. he was making me
feel the head while the m/w's were just shaking their heads to say I couldn't do it. I did though with some encouragement and the snr mwife pulling ny arms through my legs! Wouldn't mind being a Douls myself but too many commitments at the mo! Good luck with your SIL though!! I think a home birth would suit me very well as I know I can just get by on Gas and tens. Might ask M/wife at booking - if I get that far!

Well, it's a c-section for me next Tuesday and I don't even want to look at the AIMS website or anything much else that's going to remind me that I ought to be sticking up for myself, seeing as no-one who's actually read my notes seems to think I can give birth naturally to a term baby. The baby is big for dates and they won't induce me because the head is nowhere near engaged and I have a previous history of scar rupture.
I did not even see my usual consultant today, unfortunately - I saw his SHO who is not gifted in the tact department despite being a jolly soul. When I raised the issue of the increased risk for me compared to natural delivery, she cheerily pointed out that electives have now been removed from the Confidential Enquiry into Maternal Death dataset because they are so safe, then added, with a chuckle, of course, going in a second time we are at more risk of nicking something, but we'd sew it up again! This is AFTER reading my notes. I laughed until I cried. At least she is not likely to be doing the surgery because if she puts in an appearance I will have to be strapped to the operating table.
Logging on here and seeing that others are generally jittery (no matter what their projected delivery options) as they approach term is an odd sort of comfort. So sorry to hear that I'm not alone and yet relieved I'm not alone.
Totally fed up with well-meaning friends and family saying, well at least you have a date. Yeah, for being laid out like a piece of meat on a slab for major abdominal surgery with the cheering likelihood of telegraph cable sutures and five days on a truly grim postnatal ward. And the prospect of going into hospital for my "pre-admission" session on the afternoon of my 40th birthday (OK, so we were not likely to be jetting off to Prague for the night, but) is just the icing on the cake. How better to spend an afternoon than being the object of appalled interest on the antenatal ward - the woman who cried when told she was having an elective instead of kissing her doctor's feet in gratitude.
If I had felt supported by my community team in going for a trial of labour I might have felt less discouraged. As it is, I could not agree more with Quackers - if only we all had a Pupuce and a Mears in our corner.
Oh dear, very bad and self-indulgent day. Thank goodness baby is all right, must count blessings.
We've heard nothing from Wills and Katherine is feeling neglected on a very important front (nice try on the b/f = no nookie!, I think this memory from first time round is preying on my dh's mind too...). Cyberhugs to all and hoping to hear from Wills soon...and that we do all get our happy endings.

Marina - I am not going to stay "stick up for yourself" because it is your body and your baby and you have been through a lot... You can always get a second opinion as IMO a SHO is not competent enough to make a decision in YOUR case - I feel! If really you do not want a section than I think it is entirely reasonable to get a 2nd opinion...
If it is helpful to you I do have some contacts that I'd be to share with you off-line. You have my e-mail address so I leave this in your hands... you know me so I am sure you know you can ask !
And if you want to rant to me off line that's OK too

I am awaiting the result of my SIL's labour - they ARM'her this AM (something I think was a stupid thing to do!) and she is still hoping for a VBAC !.... Of course I did not tell her that was a stupid thing to do but for some reason they didn't see that as a real induction !

Oh Marina, this SHO sounds horrible. Would it be worth at least seeking a second opinion from your usual consultant? Sympathies, honey. This must be difficult time enough without foolishness from SHOs. All my love. x

Sorry, gone quiet because I'm not particularly happy, feeling rather blue and sorry for myself and didn't want to open up. Marina, your horrible experience puts mine to shame and you really have my sympathy. Why can't the three of us at the end have simple, uncomplicated happy normal endings? My blood pressure is still high but has settled around the low nineties. They're leaving me on the current dosage and I'm to be reviewed by my consultant's team on Thursday. I opened up a little to the hospital mw and let her know a little of my fears (as much as you can in one sentance) about hospital deliver/induction etc. She told me to turn up early on Thursday and demand to see the consultant and not just one of his registrars etc. The problem is that I'm so tired! These pills are making me decidely dopey (shouldn't really drive but its ok for me to drive to hospital apparently!) and all this ontop of sleepless nights. I had many plans for these last few weeks and none of them involved me being sickey, dopey and having to do regular visits to the hospital! They did involve outings with dd, sunny weather and enjoying life. Marina, I know what you mean by being too tired to fight. That's exactly how I'm feeling. I'm also feeling confused - should I fight, if I fight and then I turn out to be wrong .... I feel completely swallowed by the system and not sure what I can do about it. From the sound of your post this is how you feel too. Its not a lot of use to you, but at least I can say I understand. You're south London aren't you?

Oh so sorry Marina, what an insensitive woman she sounds. And you Wills. Hugs.

Oh Marina, hugs, I'm writing this through tears after reading about your treatment today. I hope you can talk to your usual consultant or Pupuce can help; if that's not possible Mumsnetters thoughts and prayers will be with you on Tuesday.

On a more flippant note, if you do have to go through with C section plus 5 days in hospital, I hope you've explained to your dh that he'll need to let us all know how you and babe are !

Good luck xx

Hugs Marina...maybe you could go back and read some of the other thread to see how far you've come, that you're strong enough to ask for a second opinion and know that you will be ok. Does that make any sense???

In case you don't post before Tuesday, I'll be thinking of you.

I don't think Marina is South London - are you Wills?

Wills... cheer up !!! Come on.... so what was your protein level today ???? Have you tried rescue remedy ??? Your mood (as you know) affects your blood pressure.... get in contact me with me too if you want