for mums 2be moving on...part TWO

[Marina]

Wills, so pleased the baby is the right way up. I don't know much about pre-eclampsia but understood it is always a risk if you had it in your first pregnancy. Very much hoping Mears or Leese is around to enlighten you professionally. Let us know how you are doing, and let's all send the vibe equivalent of raspberry leaf tea in the direction of the Peak District this weekend!

Leaf tea => Peak district

Great stuff Wills, much more positive than this am!!

Pre-eclampsia - I have cut and pasted some research here for you.

"In first pregnancies the risk was above 3%, slightly increasing with mother's age. The risk was 1.7% among second pregnancies in mothers who had their second pregnancy with the same partner and 1.9 % among second pregnancies in mothers who had changed their partner since the first pregnancy. This small tendency of increased risk in second pregnancy when the mother changed partner was highly significant, even after adjustment for maternal age and calendar year (P

Oakmaiden - thanks for that.

Latest update. Went back to the hospital for my 24hr review and it seems that my bp remained pretty much between 96 and 105 for the entire time that I'm awake and only drops down into the 80s whilst I'm asleep so I'm now on bp pills. They want to review me regularly and if my diastolic rate goes over 110 then unfortunately I'm going to have to go in and see this pregnancy out from a hospital bed so fingers crossed that the pills work. We have friends coming tomorrow to help us finish getting the little one's room ready and I've agreed with dh to finally put the hall to rest and leave it until after the baby is born etc (i.e. when its about 6months +). I also had a letter this morning from my blood tests on Thursday telling me I'm aneamic - really I'm not impressed with the way my body is handling this pregnancy but little one, thank goodness, is still kicking and punching. The obstrician today was great and really sat and talked me through my concerns. He'd just finished a delivery and really gave me a lot of attention which felt great. I asked him about pre-E and he stated that there are currently 36 theories on the whats and whys which is why they have to be plain cautious. I don't have protein in my waters any longer which is a good sign but he does want to monitor me regularly until little one arrives. I suspect that once past 40wks I will be seriously pushed to be induced but I'll leave that worry until nearer the time. I've learnt a lot today and it has really helped to put both mine and dh's mind at rest. I'm definitely one of those people where the more I know the better I handle things although I do know this doesn't work for everyone.

Good luck Katherine with your homebirth.

Hope all is well with everyone else.

Oh Wills, I do hope the tablets work and you can stay at home with your family for longer yet.

And Katherine, seeing as you don't normally get THIS pregnant, it's about time I wished you well for your home birth - hope it all goes to plan and that you and dh, ds and dd have a positive first few days with the little one.

As for me? Still sicky but ok. Will be glad to get past this stage!

Good luck hilary - always thinking about all of you.

Hmm - Katherine is remarkably quiet.....

I am seriously neglecting Mumsnet and feel awful that I have missed all this news in the last couple of days. It has just taken me half an hour to catch up on the old thread! Well done Marina ... setting up a new thread ... good thinking Batwoman!
Wills ... gosh, you are going through the mill aren't you? Poor you ... although excellent news about the baby being head down ....! I have absolutely no advice to give you about any of the bp stuff as I have no clue about any of that kind of thing ... just want to echo everyone's feelings of support for you. Thinking of you ... hang in there
Marina ... how are you feeling after your threat of c/s? It looks like you are feeling more positive about stuff which is good.
Mmmm.... Katherine?? Where are you??
How are you both feeling Quackers and Hilary? When are your due dates again? Just want to know so that I can keep up with things!!
Pie ... wassup? How's things?
As for me ... pregnancy wise all is well ... am turning into a whale much quicker than I did before so I am a bit miserable about that but hey ho ... I can lose it later ... Still feeling sick but it seems to be easing off slightly. I actually haven't chundered for 5 days now which is a novelty ... but still feeling rough at around 3pm onwards.
Like I say, I am putting on weight like anything but still have no visible bump ... one of the worst bits of this stage is when you have no clothes that fit but maternity clothes don't fit either and there is no point buying anything new! I have put on weight all around my tummy ... no waist line to speak of .. just flab ... eeeeewwwww! On the upside however ... although no visible bumb, when I lie down flat I can just about feel the teeniest little bump now ... just a little hard bump just above my pubic bone .... that was a nice feeling when I discovered that! BUT my boobs!! ... let's just not go there!!!!!!! Suffice it to say that when I was in the shower the other day DS came in and stared ... then he said, "Mummy ... your boobies are REALLY REALLY FAT!!"
We are having a bit of a downer at the moment ... and I don't know if anyone else feels like this when pg but I have absolutely no urges in the bedroom department now. My poor DH! He is so patient and lovely but I know he is beginning to think that things will get back to normal soon as we are past 12 weeks but I just feel totally 'un' sexy. I am going through the stage of not wanting to be touched as I can not see how any part of my body can be seen as a sex object at the moment .... any words of wisdom in that department? I suppose soon I will just have to grin and bear it and pretend, but I am not looking forward to it!! I really hope I am not alone here because I will feel really embarrassed that I have written this!!!!
The other downer is that I had a terrible weekend with my very dodgy Step MIL ... whom I hate ... and that ended in an argument with DH .... ... I think I need to talk about it but I won't go on about that at the mo as this post is already too long ....
Love Ghosty

In answer to your question, I have now got to 9 1/2 weeks.

Katherine has been unusually quiet of late, I keep checking the date on the birth announcement thread but it's still an old one. I like the names of her other two kids so I am intrigued to hear her choice this time.

Poor you Ghosty, I hate that 'fat but not looking pregnant' stage. Very miserable. I feel chubby round my middle already and many of my clothes aren't comfortable anymore but, with the chance of miscarriage hanging over me still, I'm not willing to spend anything on bigger/maternity clothes. Glad to hear the sickness may be easing off now, that's one good thing - it hasn't been very nice for you this time, has it?

Morning all,
Well, I;m about 5 1/2 weeks Ghosty and still very edgy. Not feeling any sick yet but was alittle bit nauseous the last 2 evenings. I have got spots though, which I got with my first and not the one I miscarried. Gone off tea and coffee and have backache but headaches seem better now. Just wish I felt more symptoms. I know it's still early and I wish I could wave a majic wand and get to 12 weeks and know it's ok. Just have to stick it out and hope!
Ghosty, yep I already feel yuk and I'm ony just starting. I weigh now what I weighed when I gave birth to my first!! How bad is that!! Trying to walk and swim gently so as not to put on too much weight.
Bedroom Dept, well I would have said get the bubbly out, but thats a no no. Its a tricky one in pg. You spend all your time wanting it to get pg and then, boom, that's it. feel sorry for them. Maybe just going to bed alittle earier, a drink for him, chocs for you, watch a video with candles and maybe just give hime a massage. If you don't feel like then well you don't have to but he will have enjoyed some fuss! Don't know what else to say. he probably thinks you look fab though! They never think you look like what you think of yourself!
Katherine Hope it's good news soon!!

Feeling very low after a really miserable weekend. Need some serious cheering up please.

First of all the joiner came back for his tools and to finish the job on Saturday morning so more sawdust but by lunchtime all cleared up and the house was looking respectable again. Great news you think. Well it was until DH decided to strip the plaster off the wall on the landing and dryline it instead. I mean why now? So the rest of the weekend was spent with piles of plasterboard everywhere, buckets of rubble and clouds of dust everywhere. I even had to clamber over a large rubble bucket just to get to the bedroom and as for the bathroom...... Then we decided to escape for a bit so I popped into town while he went to pick up some more plasterboard. Except that he was gone ages so I ended up sitting on the side of the road feeling like I was about to pop and totally miserable.

Also everyone keeps phoning to see if I've had it yet. I mean I know they mean well but I feel such a sense of pressure to perform and I'm only just 38 weeks. When I say no everyone laughs and says "Oh well this one will go to 42 weeks then". Is that meant to make me feel better!

But the real down is that 10 minutes after clearing away the rubble and dust and breathing a huge sigh of relief the MW phoned to say shes going on holiday tomorrow and so is my other MW. They've not been able to arrange cover for the second MW for all shifts so theres a good chance I'll be told to forget the HB and be told to just go in. Just like that! I was devastated. I mean they've had my entire pg to get organised and I can't beleive they are both taking holidays together if its going to leave them so short but there has been no mention of this before. I was almost in tears and said I wasn't prepared to risk giving birth on a very busy and dangerous road with no mobile reception so she said to just dial 999 then. Then she said my best option was to hang on for 2 weeks till she gets back but that the only other HB at the mo is due 2 days after me and if we both start at the same time then we'll be in the same boat anyway!

I feel so gutted and very bitter. It may be fine. And realistically the 2nd MW never really had much chance of getting here in time anyway (she arrived just as I was crowning last time) so it doesn't really make much difference practically but because of the rules I'll have to be difficult and break the rules if I want to be at home. And they'll kick me out after 6 hrs anyway. All that upheavel to be put in a tiny cupbard of a room for 6 hrs. And what about my kids. I've got no family nearby. Suddenly everything has gone from being hunky-dory to a terrible mess. However I am adamannt that if things begin like last time then I'm going nowhere. Its too much of a risk. Just feel like everything has been spoilt. I'm totally prepared to go in if there is a problem but this is just not fair.

Anyway enough feeling sorry for myself. I'm glad things are improving for you Wills. Hope the BP behaves itself. Ghosty - I went off sex totally at the beginning of all my pg but it does come back honest. In fact I'm very frustrated with DH at the moment....... Hilary - Its going to be Jude if its a boy and probably Beatrice for a girl. Glad you and Quackers are both coming along nicely. Hugs all round.

Katherine - where do you live ?
I presume you know that they are to provide you a MW.... regardeless of their staffing problem... look at the AIMS website if you need confirmation of this.

You may well have your baby (actually you are likely) to have your baby on the MW return... now that you know she is gone... our brain works in mysterious ways !!!!

Try taking some rescue remedy - from what you write I think it might help you feel better

Wills- I am a bit surprised at what you are being told... but before I go further and challenge your doctor I am searching for info to back my thougts/view on this...

Oh love, I really feel for you, Katherine. Here was me thinking you must have had it as you've been so quiet and now all this. How come they didn't think to let you know about their holidays before now, when you are at 'any day now' stage? That seems very unfair and doesn't leave you long to sort out other arrangements for your kids. I'm not surprised you are fed up. Which hospital will you have to go to, if you do have to go in?

Somehow though, you'll end up with a beautiful, much-wanted third child, and although it might not go exactly the way you hoped, you'll still have a little brother or sister for your ds and dd and, after your miscarriages, you have to be grateful for that. I know that's not much help in all this disappointment but there must have been times when you wondered whether you would ever get your third child and now you are so nearly there.

I really hope they manage to sort something out for you to have a homebirth and that it won't mean being pregnant for 2 more weeks until your mw gets back. Do keep us informed.

Much love,

Hilary

ps like your names, especially Jude.

Oh Katherine, that is awful!!!! Like you said they've known about this for months, its just so inconsiderate.

As far as I know you are still entitled to have a MW no matter what, though obviously the hospital could make it difficult for you and then you would get someone you don't know...

I don't have much more to offer in the way of support, but I'm sending you a big hug {{}}

BTW, thanks for asking Ghosty how things are going...I'll post more another time, but I think that I am in the full throws of being forced to come of the AD when I wasn't ready.

Katherine, so sorry to hear this. It sounds outrageous to me and totally unreasonable. I thought it was every woman's right to have a HB and that legally the HA HAVE to provide a mw? But quite understand if you don't feel up to a fight about it. You shouldn't have to though. Wills, sorry to hear things aren't great with you either.

Oh, no, not your plans in jeopardy TOO, Katherine - I did think one of us was on course to get the birth she really wanted. I'm sorry, I'm normally a grateful m/w client, but I think what they have done to you in terms of breaking the news NOW is very poor and inconsiderate - and as Pupuce says, tough luck on them - they are obliged to provide cover for you somehow. I'm really sorry to hear your news and send you cyberhugs in the absence of anything more helpful. Love the names, by the way! (You could still have Jude for a girl...)
Wills, good to hear that at least you had a good, informative chat with a consultant about p/e - feeling listened to and treated like an informed adult makes such a big difference, doesn't it, even when what you are hearing is not 100% what you want to hear. I too really hope the pills work for you!
Pie, sorry to hear of your medication problems too. I did think there were some anti-ds that were ok in pregnancy - can they not find you an alternative that will help? I really hope so.
Ghosty, things do look up in the old bedroom department, trust me. And I speak as one who was so far off-message on this a few months ago that I think dh was contemplating divorce...
Hilary and Quackers, good to hear from you and keeping fingers crossed for you both right through. Cant't wait until you are where we are so to speak, Hilary is so right to comment on the long slog it has been on this thread!
Have a good evening, all. I spent a great afternoon with a dear friend who is on the waiting list for egg donation & IVF having lost a baby just over three years ago, and it made me count my bulbous, refluxy, itchy blessings...still feeling somewhat panicky about next Tuesday's consultant appointment, though. Hugs and solidarity to all.

Hi All. Thanks for your support. Have had a good chat with DH and feeling a bit better now especially after what Pupace said. We have more or less decided that as we never really expected the 2nd MW to get here in time that we are going to ignore this as an issue. The hospital can make of that what they will (at least it is the local MW unit and not the bit hospital we are talking about). I think at the end of the day they will support my descision to stay put given my past record. If there is any risk to the baby then of course that will be different, but then that will involve a trip to the "proper" hospital much further away anyway and is a different issue altogether. They have said that the problem is with getting the 2nd MW covered so they have not said they won't have anyone. As long as I know someone is coming I am happy to stay at home. After all it would have to be something pretty serious that she couldn't deal with us both, the 2nd MW is more of a formality and given that I don't see why I should face such upheaval.

I also have to face the fact though that MW no1 might not get here but that has always been an issue and is nothing new. DH asked what he needs to do!! And I said he just had to support me and the baby and check the cord is not round the babies neck. Anything else can wait till MW gets here. I'm not one for making a scene but its more of a matter or just not getting in the car (which involes a walk across a footbridge to a carpark anyway, part of the motivation for a HB in the first place) so I don't have to be tough, just stay put. Anyway we will see how this little bundle decides to play it......

So anyway thank-you all. Feeling much better now. It was just a shock to suddenly have the threat of it all snatched away like that for no real reason.

Katherine I'm really sorry to hear your plans aren't going well. I had hoped that at least one out of the three of us at the end would get a smooth ride. Quite annoyed that we're not but ah well little ones are all still ok. Given your previous history I think you are wise to stay put, it could get more dramatic doing anything else. In terms of the house oh my god! Is the house ok now? Dreadful timing etc, plaster dust is the worst and something that would make me go ballistic if I thought that I was about to give birth to little one. As it is DH and I have had a long chat and we (I) finally agreed to be sensible about our DIY. Finishing the hall is simply going to have to wait, even the final bits to the baby's room (that weren't finished in time for dd's arrival) have gone on hold. He feels under immense pressure to look after me and is worried sick watching the state I'm in. He's also petrified that I will be whisked into hospital to see out the end of this pregnancy and he's not sure he could cope. Having him tell me all this made me realise that I really am putting him under too much - and for what? The house will still be there in a few months time etc. So marina - my diy is going to be constrained to opening the fridge and getting the chocolate . I say going to be because today was spent running around getting ready for the baby. Two wonderful friends and their baby visited today and basically rolled up their sleeves to help us get everything fundamental ready. Crib was taken down from the loft, covers washed, woodwork/pushchairs etc, steralised with milton. The baby's room was cleared (been a dump room for a little while) and cleaned, a wardrobe constructed etc. They really worked hard for us and I'm incredibly grateful. I am now completely and utterly knackered - and its very unlikely that I've taken my blood pressure down BUT... we are now ready and that in itself is an enormous weight off my mind. Only have my hospital bag to pack (list is written) and my birth plan to write up and after that anything else is simply icing on the cake etc. All the baby clothes are clean - would like to iron some of them but this is not essential. Hopefully now my bp wont play up but if it does I do have to go in at least I know that the house is straight etc and that we are ready.

I've been advised to keep my hospital bag in the back of the car as I'm going to be having regular (daily at the moment) checkups and that at any point they may take me in. I absolutely loathe hospitals so although I'm trying to put a brave face on this I'm pretty much quaking in my boots, however if I suddenly go quiet then you all know what's happened. I'll try to get dh to post a mail but I suspect he'll refuse - sorry.

Good luck on Tuesday Marina - I seem to be echoing you a little more closely i.e. I have my hospital review on Tuesday as well although not for whether or not for a cs - hopefully to see if the pills are working.

Quackers - the first few months are absolute agony and I often wished to simply go to sleep until 14 weeks. Although I'm not having the breezy ending that I had hoped for I wouldn't swap places for anything ! I do feel for you and wishing tonnes and tonnes of luck.

Hope this post doesn't come across too depressed or dramatic. I've had a really good day today with fantastic friends and you never know - I might actually put my feet up tomorrow .

Good luck everyone.

Pie - My consultant assured me that certain ADs are perfectly safe during pregnancy. I managed to come off mine very successfully before falling pregnant but he was prepared to work with me on the various safe ADs to find one that worked and that allowed me to fall pregnant. You do mean Anti-depressants don't you?

Ghosty - will send you my email address

Wills, can I ask what ADs (yes that is what I mean!!) your consultant thought were a possibility? I think that my doctors were so dertermined to get me off them as I have always needed the highest dose possible to stay stable, so I guess they saw no point in keeping me on anything if it wasn't going to be the right dose.

Anyway I'll talk to one of my ever growing number of doctors...I'm getting to the stage where a gungho doctor would probably admit me and I really want to stay with my family right now.

I hope the BP pills are working out for you BTW and that that hospital bag only comes out when the baby says so!

Wills - while I await more info for you... have a look at this .

BTW - the info I am awaiting is a piece of research on blood pressure and the fact that it is normal to go a bit higher at the end of pregnancy. I have been told on many occasions that it is a common threat used to get women into hospital.... but I do hope to get that research to you soon....

HANG IN THERE !

Pie - I have looked sfter women on various ADs - it has been thought that the risks were minimal and the women required treatment. Whenever there has been doubt, information about the drug has been requested via pharmacy. Since drug trials do not include pregnant and B/F women, the blanket advice is usually to avoid in those circumstances. However, in reality, no problems have been identified in the women who have continued to take them throughout pregnancy. Most ADs can be taken when B/F as well.

Katherine - what an unsatisfactory situation you have been placed in. At our unit there are 2 midwives oncall for a planned homebirth from 37-42 weeks. If the time frame extends for the homebirth, ie.over 42 weeks, then the oncall no longer carries on. However, if the woman does not want to come into hospital, there is already 1 midwife oncall for any call-outs and she is accompanied by a supervisor of midwives.

A supervisor of midwives is a position within midwifery and is required in law. Your hospital must have a supervisor of midwives ( there are quite a few) who will be oncall anyway if you go into labour. The midwife would be able to get support from her. You can make an appointment to speak to the Link Supervisor who has responsibility for all the supervisors. You are entitled to have a homebirth and midwifery assistance must be provided when requested. Hope I haven't confused you with all these titles, but this problem can be overcome.
I am infact a supervisor of midwives myself so I know that this can be done. HTH.

Marina - if your baby is lying head down then there is no reason why you should not be able to be 'allowed' to labour. Your previous C/S was for transverse lie so if the baby is presenting properly you should be in for a chance. It is better to go into spontaneous labour but I have seen successful vaginal deliveries in women being induced who have had a previous C/S. Good luck for you appointment on Tuesday