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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Why do we potty train late?

181 replies

HappyHippo3 · 18/05/2024 22:32

I’d like to start this thread by saying I am in no way judging, I am genuinely just curious. I am FTM with no experience potty training, though I have been considering starting my 20 month old.

From my experience, there seems to be a big divide between the younger and older generations on the appropriate age to potty train. My friends think 20 months is too young, and I should wait until she is 2/3 and ‘ready’. My DGM says it was the norm to start babies on the potty at 6 months and they were dry by the time they were 1 year old. There was also an article recently that said around a of quarter children go to primary school un-potty trained.

My question is, what is the reason for this change over generations? What are the benefits of waiting until they are 2/3?

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Iwasafool · 20/05/2024 10:18

ClonedSquare · 19/05/2024 19:05

I think a lot of parents online either outright lie or have a very loose definition of potty training.To me, a child isn't potty trained until they can take themselves to the potty/toilet on their own initiative and they have maybe one or two accidents a week. Anything else is "potty trainING" and not worth bragging about.

Whereas I've been on online forums where people claim their child trained at 20 months but they were still having several accidents a day and weren't taking down their own pants/clothes. Or they claimed their kid was trained but they still needed to prompt them all the time. That's not toilet trained!

So I assume the older generation bragging about their early trained toddlers are being similarly loose with the truth.

So a child with mobility issues could never be classed as toilet trained?

I fell downstairs in my 30s and in plaster and couldn't pull my own knickers up or down so was I suddenly classed as not toilet trained? How bizarre. I knew when I needed to go to the toilet, I could get there but did need help with clothes, never occurred to me I was suddenly not toilet trained.

Iwasafool · 20/05/2024 10:26

I'm really impressed that people remember exactly how old their child was when they were toilet trained. It's a long time ago for me but I reckon if you'd asked me when they were say starting school I'd still have only had a vague idea, it really didn't seem that significant a thing to me to memorise the date. I can say they were all reliably clean and dry by 2 years 9 months or they couldn't have gone to playgroup, I imagine they were months before that as I'd have filled in the application form well before they started and it was something you were asked. I honestly couldn't be more specific than that.

Needanewname42 · 20/05/2024 11:05

@Iwasafool
Not that hard to remember or work it out.
DC1 was trained on a sunny weekend in June.
DC2 was trained on a weekend early September when DC1 was at Scout camp to avoid the 'Oh yuck' comments adding to the stress

soupfiend · 20/05/2024 11:10

Gloschick · 18/05/2024 22:57

The change has been due to the change in nappies. I'm in my 40s and was brought up in traditional cloth nappies. These felt wet and I imagine were unpleasant for baby, and a faff to clean for the parent. So there was motivation on both sides to potty train early. With modern nappies they are still comfy when wet for baby, and it is easier for the parent to keep going with nappies than clearing up after accidents.

The disposable nappy industry has a lot to answer for

Iwasafool · 20/05/2024 11:54

Needanewname42 · 20/05/2024 11:05

@Iwasafool
Not that hard to remember or work it out.
DC1 was trained on a sunny weekend in June.
DC2 was trained on a weekend early September when DC1 was at Scout camp to avoid the 'Oh yuck' comments adding to the stress

Again we have this issue with people (children/adults) vary. I haven't got a clue and frankly I have lots more significant things in life to remember.

LocalHobo · 21/05/2024 13:47

But I do think it helps start regular habits, especially bowel. And if you wait until they are 3 some children will look at a potty and say "Nah" ...But a child that has sat on a potty since they were tiny will already be used to going on one and it's never an issue.
I think there is much truth in this ^ statement.
I find it an intriguing that, on an anonymous forum, those of us who had early toilet trained DC would be "bragging". What would it gain? I think all experiences are valid and interesting.

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