Why do we potty train late?

[HappyHippo3]

I’d like to start this thread by saying I am in no way judging, I am genuinely just curious. I am FTM with no experience potty training, though I have been considering starting my 20 month old.

From my experience, there seems to be a big divide between the younger and older generations on the appropriate age to potty train. My friends think 20 months is too young, and I should wait until she is 2/3 and ‘ready’. My DGM says it was the norm to start babies on the potty at 6 months and they were dry by the time they were 1 year old. There was also an article recently that said around a of quarter children go to primary school un-potty trained.

My question is, what is the reason for this change over generations? What are the benefits of waiting until they are 2/3?

And some kids absolutely are ready esdly and that’s great! But like walking, talking and everything else, the right age can vary a lot.

Completely agree. This thread is quite interesting but it’s making me uncomfortable

Also this 😂

I do give a shit about the environment but a lot of things impact the environment and my child’s health (physically and mentally) is more important

Another vote for less time at home here. I was born in the late 80's and my mum didn't really work much when we were younger children she was home all day and worked evenings part time. This was not unusual for my friends at the time either.
I work full time and was back on full time hours within 9 months of my baby being born, I ended up doing potty training with both of mine when I had a weeks annual leave as I was there 24/7 and it was easier to get it done in one week than in dribs and drabs around working full time.

Another one who thinks everyone in the past thousands of years did shit things then. Why is it difficult to understand that different circumstances and environments involved people making different choices.

No doubt future generations will think your generation did shit things like leaving them to deal with the great pile of disposable nappies in landfill taking 500 years to decompose.

I have Russian friends who also tell the norm is very young in that culture. So I don't buy the wait until they are ready story. Children rise to expectations.

Children (toddlers really) also used to get punished , stuff like having their nose rubbed in a dirty sheet if they had accidents.

Children do rise to REALISTIC expectations, infants and toddlers don't because well... they are infants and toddlers.

Do you feel the same about walking, weaning, reading etc?

@Yousassychav "The older generation did a lot of stupid shit"

Ffs. The casual ageism on here is soooooo tedious.

Quite!

Yes but then the same PPs are probably the ones who moan about their DPs/in laws not doing the required amount of free childcare for them that they expect!

DHs mother doesn't want to give 24/7 unpaid child care to my non toilet trained 3yr old. Why is she such a bitch ?

People have been using carpets and big room sized rugs for decades. I doubt carpets is the reason.

I've just googled when we're carpets invented 2000-3000 years BC 😲

I was expecting rugs to be 200 or 300 hundred years ago. And fitted wall to wall carpets to be about the 1950s.
I've also remembered the 70s / 80s thing of kitchen and even worse bathroom carpets. Remember them!

Nurseries or childminder settings where kids are pooing and weeing everywhere is unsanitary and would end up with not much childcare going on because the caregiver would be constantly cleaning and changing the child’s clothes.

Waiting later (age 2+) makes more sense because kids can communicate their need, take their clothes off and will have the muscle control to hold wees and poos.

Previous generations had to wash reusables which was time consuming hence mums were willing to spend 6 months (!!) training. My kids cracked it in under a week (with night times taking longer) and it wasn’t stressful at all.

2.5 yrs was the right age for both of mine.

Some will be earlier and some later

There's no chance a baby could toilet train at 6 months. Not a chance.

Part of the children going to school in nappies surely because More kids are being put into mainstream then before. They kids would've been in special provision.

I'm pretty sure my grandparents lived in houses with just lino or floorboards as kids. They had rugs that had to be hung up and beaten with those sticks though.

I tried so much. I wish I'd chilled more as she just got it at 3.5 and decided that's what she was going to do now!

Do you mean the nappies? The nursery I used gave you a bag of wet nappies at the end of the day, soiled nappies had been cleaned up. As they got older t he nursery were also involved in toilet training. I think the attitude to toilet training was just very different because it was hard work with nappies.

Yes why not. We must be storing up a huge problem with all the waste that is accumulating.

You don't know how I feel about the environment but I don't give a shit what you think and that's for sure.

Mime was trained by 22 months with the odd accident, used the “oh crap” book as well. DH took a week off work and we just got on with it. However she’s almost 5 and still not dry at night so I can well imagine that despite some parents best efforts their kids don’t get it till later.

I think kids vary so much, I did the same with all four of mine, one had accidents for a while, one had a bit of an issue with pooing in the toilet/potty, two were very straightforward and reliable almost immediately. My first was a great sleeper, never messed about with things that weren't his, I could have delicate ornaments sitting in his reach and he wouldn't touch them, he loved eating and weaned early. I thought I had the whole motherhood thing cracked. Then I had number two was was a fussy eater, didn't sleep well and was like a tornado going through the house. They are individuals and I think sometimes we think this works/this doesn't and it is just the personality of that child.

Isn't being dry at night just to do with a hormone, some just have it kick in early and some a bit later. I don't think it is particularly connected to toilet training. That's what I've read anyway but long time since mine were that age so the theories might change, lots seem to.

I think that is the point, they vary so much, of course parents can and do influence some things but you certainly can't control everything.

I tried with DS around his 2nd Birthday, he didn't want to engage. He was ready at 2.4 I think but it was cold and I didn't want him bottomless for several days. We waited until 2.7 and he cracked it very quickly.

I think some parents do wait too long because they are either scared or lazy. I'd say waiting till the right time of the year when it's a bit warmer and focusing on it will work (Oh Crap is a good method). It helps when they communicate better too. So somewhere between 2 and 3 is the right time for most children. It's not a race.