Sharing pottt training woes - no judgement

[anotherangel2]

A safe place to rant so you keep your frustrations away from your child.

I just want to sake ‘For fuck sake DD just sit in the potty for 10 seconds for a try and then we can go out to the aquarium. It’s not that difficult just sit your arse down’.

Thanks for the welcome, guys.

Dino, that’s really off of the nursery. Have Words on Monday, and hopefully they’ll start playing ball.

We have had no accidents so far today. I don’t want to count my chickens, because I know it could all go to shit again quite quickly (pun intended) but I’m very happy with her. She’s announced a peepee 3 times already, and I’m already dreaming of getting our massive changing table out of our teeny bathroom.

Rain, I think I’m going to be doing that tomorrow myself. We have plans to watch the football at an outside bar with some friends, and I’m wondering whether I can quietly slip a potty under the table.

I think it's worth it for you feel like you're all going a bit stir crazy.

IF you feel, I mean. Stupid phone.

Gah, DD wouldn't go on the potty after her nap, and then weed ALL over the living room floor when I'd popped to kitchen for a moment.

This feels very one step forward, two steps back

Oh rain, that sounds annoying!

Turns out my DD wasn't over her upset stomach.... thank goodness the kitchen floor wipes clean! Nappy back on. I might wait a week and try again.

Eek crazy that doesn't sound fun! Is anyone else finding that emptying poos from the potty and cleaning it is somehow worse than changing dirty nappies?! DS's nappies have never bothered me and the harder logs I'm ok with but today he had quite a soft runny poo in the potty and it was mixed with wee and I nearly retched cleaning it out ... 🤢

Anyway DS was amazing today, he stayed in the same pair of pants all day for the first time, not even a dribble. Hopefully not a fluke. My DM who works in child development says it's because he feels safe with us and it's harder when he's at nursery or theirs because his little mind is already focusing on dealing with being apart from us as well as remembering to tell someone when he needs to go ... I don't normally go in for her psychobabble but it does kind of make sense.

Right. We’re back. Gritted teeth and said yesterday No More Nappies.

She’s done very well today, although I think she did a little wee on the floor at the pool
Thee were very wet pants, shorts and seat at Frankie and Bennies
I need to remember to Tell her to go, not, ask do you need. Or at least not then believe her if she says no.
Sigh. Still, it’s nursery’s problem tomorrow.

Oh I meant to say thanks to whoever mentioned asking them to wait til they were at the potty, I can’t believe that hadn’t occurred to me, but she can do it for a bit, and held a poo long enough for her to get her step and the seat insert out.

Think I need to join this thread! DS will be 3 next month and nursery have asked if I will start potty training as they want to move him to the preschool unit in either September or January. It's a different building and not set up for nappy changing, so he needs to be trained.

Read the Oh Crap book and started with bare bum on Saturday. Mixed results, but had had wees and one poo in the potty by bedtime last night. Quite a few he had taken himself there as well.

Tried shorts on this morning and braved a trip to the park this morning. He's been awake since 7:30 and has not shown any sign of needing to pee, although has sat on the potty twice. I'm really worried he's going to make himself ill if he just holds it in all the time. We're having a lot of boundary pushing and refusals right now and I don't know how to get him to even try sitting on the potty at regular intervals. If I over prompt, he kicks the potty and shouts no.

Not sure if I'm missing something but could definitely do with some moral support right now

@tiramisualwaystiramisu Keep going, you can do this! I recommend the wee cup as the book suggests and not overprompting. We had potty refusal and boundary pushing and looking back I think it's part of the learning process, at least it felt that way for us. Don't give in! You're teaching a skill and you won't look back. Mixed result are fine and normal, as long as you see some sort of progress, even very small signs of moving in the right direction of awareness. Show you trust him and don't go back to nappies (unless at nap times or bed time) but give him lots of chances to wee. Good luck! X

I have found my people.

DS2 is 3.3 and has shown no interest in toilet whatsoever. He would do a wee if we sat him on the potty, but if you ever asked or suggested it, he would emphatically say no, and even after doing a poo in his nappy would deny it.
We made a couple of nappy-free attempts that did not work at all.

So on Saturday he found the underpants in his drawer and wanted to wear them. Yay!

I've made it clear that if you wear pants you have to go to the loo. I am bribing him with sweets - 1 for if he sits on the loo, 2 if he does a wee.
So far so good.
We've managed to catch lots of wees.

HOWEVER.
He doesn't ever mention he needs to wee, or say yes if I ask. And if he starts weeing, he just does it and it doesn't seem to really bother him very much.

How do I proceed? I'm taking him to the loo every 1/2 hour to try and catch as many as possible, but that's not really toilet training is it?

Same thing happened at Kindergarten today btw - they caught lots of wees but others he just let run. And a poo too.

Help! School breaks up next Wednesday and I am off with ds1 and ds2 on a long trip - how are we going to cope??!

I haven’t read it myself TheKitchen but lots of people on this thread have recommended the Oh Crap book which seems to suggest going bare bottomed for the first couple of days so they get used to the sensation? Might be worth a try.

Hooray after a completely dry weekend (couldn’t believe our luck) DS has managed a dry day at nursery today too, his key worker said he did 15 wees (and one poo) on the potty so this child wees for England. So proud of him! Still need to conquer him doing a poo in his nappy as soon as he wakes up in the morning but one step at a time ...

Funnily enough dinogreen I just read that somewhere else too, but I can only do the bare bottom thing before / after kindergarten. I think I will give it a try today. I’ve got nothing to lose! Will look up that book too.

Hi kitten, welcome!

We've read oh crap, but have paused potty trainig due to upset tummy. The book is very very keen on at least a couple of days of bare bottom, the idea being that the child needs to get used to the feeling that happens just before, otherwise they won't learn to self prompt. You're supposed to grab them just as they start to wee and ask them to hold on until the potty, which you put them on as quickly as possible and then congratulate them for anything they manage to get in the pot. Any carpet errors (!) you just tell them they should have gone in the potty (they suggest avoiding telling them it's ok or similar as children can interpret this as permission.

They they say that after a day or two (whenever the child shows some recognition just before they wee) you put them in loose trousers, but not underpants as underpants feel too much like nappies so although they can wee in a potty, they won't feel it's necessary and will only go if you happen to catch them at the right time. Continue to allow accidents, but always tell them it should have gone in the potty.

I think that's right anyway, I'm sure somewhere here will correct me if I'm not right! The book is quite a helpful how to and hAs big troubleshooting sections at the back for various problem scenarios.

Can you do a bare bottom weekend? It might be long enough.

Congratulations dino! Sounds great progress

kitten, why not put off till after the trip, so you can set aside a good chunk of naked time?

I don’t want to make him wear nappy again if he’s not keen, it seems like the wrong message.

Ok, fingers crossed he catches on quickly then

Another dry day including over nap time.
Is it too soon to hope we’ve cracked it? Next step, clothes.

It was too soon. Big wee on the floor this morning whilst denying needing to go. Sigh.

ColdHands I feel your pain! After 3 dry days in a row with no accidents at all, DS did a poo in his pants at nursery just as I picked him up yesterday 🤷‍♀️ I mean why?!

Keep going though, if she’s done a whole dry day she obviously can do it, don’t worry about setbacks.

2 days of no wee accidents, only poos. But he’s still not saying when he needs to go, it’s us taking him to the loo regularly.

Will come back and read the full thread in a little while but for those mentioning a nappy
In a the car - I have been putting a puppy pad underneath ds in his car seat , obviously still wet clothes for any accidents but at least the car seat is ok
(I buy the puppy pads because they are exactly the same as the pampers bed mars but about 50x cheaper)

Oliphant we did puppy pads too! In the car seat and buggy.

After a slight poo-in-pants setback on Tuesday, DS had another dry/clean day yesterday. He’s going to my DPs today and when he was there last week he got a bit upset about using the potty, but he really seems to have cracked it since last weekend so fingers crossed he’ll be fine today.

We’re definitely sticking with it this time, she has the idea and is really managing quite well (going to skate over the poo in pants yesterday).

I have started to do getting her to clear up if she has an accident, so kitchen roll for a puddle and she put her pants in the machine yesterday.

@DinoGreen I heard DH yesterday going ‘but why? Why did you widdle on the floor, I just asked you if you needed to go!’ Im working on his patience 😂

So we seem to have cracked the wees but the poos are sometimes not making it to the potty. His poos are quite soft though (and very smelly) so I’m wondering if he has an intolerance to something/toddler diarrhoea/IBS

Tried for the first time out of the house today on older child’s school run, but had an accident and wasn’t as responsive to my prompting (in the house if I ask him he’ll say no, but while out he just ignored me)