Dec 08 Ladies welcome to the new Bean, next stop, Summer.

[Veggiemummy]

Sorry very boring had to think quickly, not my best feature

I'm going to note down those tips, Effie. They sound practical. I still feel a bit crap today (ankles not quite gone down either) but I know that's because I slept badly and then the COCKERELS out the back started having a cock off at 4.45. I hate them. We have a large communal lawn and then beyond it, hens, goats, some nice horses and now these two cockerels. I have been a veggie for 27 years but I cannot tell you the harm I was wishing on them last night.

Yes, v sorry to miss you yest, Syb (and Beans). The weight loss is always a silver lining with such ailments though, I agree (not that you need it).

Beans, you do whatever you need to get you through. If you are going in to cuddle, I don't personally see how it can be wrong.

I won't be on much next week as Mum is on her own from Monday to the following Monday as her DP is going away, so I said I'd go up for a good chunk of time. We are all going up there tomorrow anyway as there's a bbq for my nephew's 18th, and I was intending to come back with DP on Sunday then go up about Wednesday, but MIL is coming on Monday, apparently to help with painting, and I know it sounds awful but I can't stand it, so I am staying up at Mum's from Sunday instead. Actually it's DP's idea as he suddenly thinks I am doing too much travelling and wearing myself out. But he has a trial Mon-Wed so she will be on her own. Not only do I feel a bit guilty but the other thing is that I think she snoops Anyway, her remarks stress me out and wind me up so much that I just think it's better I am out of the way as much as poss. I don't know how this situation is ever going to be reconciled, it's depressing.

Oh Lady, it sounds like you need a proper rest, and MIL is the last person you need around you right now. You are so kind and generous to everyone else, even with your drying facepack and cankles, and always manage to find the right thing to say. Hooray for you! And i hope you have a lovely time with your mum and get a bit of a break. From what I remember your mum is good at that sort of thing .

Am also taking notes on the bathtime thing (and trying not to feel massive dread at the same time).

Rubs, you're really being tested in your last few days, aren't you, what with the sodding heartburn and early wakings. It's amazing how you're getting out and about in spite of how knackered you must be feeling. Do you have anyone (such as an in-law) who can give you a bit of a break today?

DP is now ill with what I had on Tuesday, am selfishly hoping it goes as quickly as mine did as I've booked into a hotel on Sunday night and am having a massage on Monday morning and really really want to me able to go. Sleep! Long baths! Reading!

Oh, and Lewes is now on the table (as a potential place to live, not name for DC2, although that is where he was conceived )

Hello Spot! Well, it's after 11 and I am still slobbing around in pyjamas but going to embark on a massive tidying marathon later. Oooh, that overnight hotel thing sounds just the ticket! It's Friday today, I bet your DP will be fine by Sun.

Yes, Mum won't allow me to life a finger. If she could install me on a chaise longue in a pretty dress of her choosing and bring me food, she would. I do feel bad about MIL as I suspect she offered to come down and paint as she wanted to see DD, but DD won't be here. But I just can't be dealing with her at the moment. And the thing is, that ISN'T generous. But...I am only hooman. I do worry about when we are in the house as we will have all those spare rooms, and I think she will be driving down to stay A LOT.

Anyway, just wanted to say to the preggos, be careful what you wear on your feet as the pregnancy wears on. I have been wearing flip flops a lot recently and they offer your feet and back no support and aren't really suitable for anything other than a few steps. I have walked to Oxford St from my flat a few times this week and though it's only about 1.5miles, maybe two, my ankles are not just swollen but strained, with my soft pregnant ligaments. Fit flops are apparently worse - I heard on Radio 4 they are off limits for the clackered.

Trouble is, aside from the odd kitten heel, of which I am a big fan, flip flops are all I want to wear...

Spot I quite like Lewes, obviously my opinion is incredibly important to you so you pop that on your pros list

Lady let your MIL snoop, in fact if it was me I would put your renovations/new house budget detail on a spreadsheet including whom has contributed what and leave it in a inconspicuous but easily snooped place for her to find like a desk drawer. Also it's not good for DD2 inutero to be expose to paint fumes even if it low VOC paint.

Beans I think you are amazing mine are 3.5 years apart and that was tricky enough, but at least I could make DS1 understand what was going on and he was actually an invaluable help. I think when they both cry it's so hard because what can you do? Who do you comfort first? I don't really have tips that would help more than the others already have, except I used to bath with the boys and I set up an old pillow on the floor next to the bath with a towel over it which I placed DS2 onto before I got out of the bath. Also so as to keep a routine of sorts for DS1, if we just did a wash-up night (a wet warm cloth to face hands & bits) he would get an extra book on those nights to make up for missing his bath. So non bath nights had a routine too.

Jam no wonder we lost you for a bit after your DS2 was born I am in awe of anyone with DC's close together.

Oh Lady sorry about the feet & back that's not helpful at all. Now get yourself a cool drink put your feet up (that is on medical advice it's help reduce some of the swelling) & ignore the house. It will be just as untidy later, it can wait.

Oh I'm feeling a bit sleepy and peeky today. I had a lovely evening out with some of the ladies I know here & my friend who is visiting. We went to a wine bar in town & it was really lovely. Perfect wine and great company. We stayed out until nearly 1. My friend doesn't cycle so we had to catch a cab home, I live cycle back after a night out. But it was still good fun. Will have to do it again soon.

Hello Veg. Is your mate still there? How is DS1's sore mouth? I have heard nice things about Lewes but never been, does that count?

I had the second tax rebate of my life yesterday, for £36. I then opened another official looking letter, same post, which was a National Insurance demand saying I have a shortfall of £31.20 So I think HMRC are playing Monopoly with me. I'm still £4.80, though, right? That's a bottle of undrinkable wine, or half a bottle of ok bubble bath

I like your sums, lady . I just got my NICs letter today too. It could be a bottle of ok wine on a great half price offer?

Interesting about the flip flops, is that the same with Birkenstocks which are a bit more supportive? I know I'll be back in 'proper shoes' when really big as am still a mere 17 weeks, but it's important to have a comfortable slob out shoe you can also walk in Although , you should be getting cabs lady, none of this walking business. You're in London, unless you've forgotten...

Veg sounds like you had a great time, (and nice work on finding a good wine bar, such places are v v important).
Of course your opinion is important, so a tick shall go very firmly in the 'for' box. It is only a 15 min drive from Brighton so no prob to still see my friend and her little boy who T is friends with. And I like its nonconformist history and the fact that people still do bonkers things in its name (secret bonfire societies etc). It's still pretty £££ though, as much as Brighton. Why do I only ever want to stay in pricey places?

Spot - yes mil is always offering i fact she messaged me last night to see if I wanted her to either mind ds or come with us to the hospital as I have to have pre-op bloods today. Although it would be relief, on the other hand I kind of want a couple of last days with just the three of us, and she is coming over from Sunday anyway. Also, the bloods is just a drop in thing and dh has said if I text him when I get there he can come and take them on demand so there should be no waiting around. He also said he should have just taken them last night at home to avoid the trip but just didn't think to Anyway, I need to do a spot of last minute shopping anyway so will do that while I'm out... You know, Bridgette Jones C-Section friendly undies, some new slippers, lightweight dressing gown, cheerfulness replenishment, a few more extra extra small sleepsuits (ds was swimming in my newborn stuff and this little one is thought to be smaller)that sort of thing
Right - must get organised to go (I'm still in robe too Hugh Hefner style)

Lady I hope you get some rest too, and the flip flops I have LIVED in them since summer started Oh well, my support vest has been invaluable though so hopefully that has counteracted. My back feels fine with it on though I did put some normal shoes on the other day and I could barely get my big toe in them

I still can't get my engagement and wedding rings back on. Am gutted as only took them off 3 weeks before DD2 arrived and now they're stuck off, which is so annoying. I did get them fitted when I weighed 9.5 stone, and am now just under 12, but still!! I was 13 stone when I took them off. SOB!

DD2 been asleep all morning - hellish afternoon ahead perhaps! Oops, stirring - must go and feed. MOOOOO!

I lived in flip flops for last bit of upduffery and they were ok. But I never walked very far, big fat lazy toad that I am!!

Although am back to prepreg weight, which is goooooood! But think it says more about how much I weighed before getting preggy than how thin I am now - still have many chins.

Ooh, spotted an ex-snog of mine at the 1 o'clock club yesterday. Didn't say hello. He probably wouldn't know who I am!

Back to your pre-pregnancy weight? Wow! That's great! Can I ask how much you put on in the end? You know how I obsess over these things. Still trying to keep it to a minimum here on account of being blubbery before, but it's been a fat week and will be a fat weekend. You might not be happy with your weight at the mo but at least you are no worse off than before! Oh, but the general swelling in the body takes a while to wear off so don't worry about your rings, they will go on again soon (plus it's hot!)

If I don't walk every day for at least 30 mins (and pref an hour) I get all antsy. But it's trainers for me now I am going on a long walk...I don't know whether Birkenstocks are any good, Spot. But I think I probably have crummy joints or something, if everyone else has managed ok!

Hellooooo

Beans - your post of yesterday really reminded me how difficult logistics are with two little'uns. You have had great advice from Jam and Effie. I will try and add a few tips:

• Cooking for grown up meals must be entirely your DH's domain for the next 6 months.
• CBeebies is your friend. Use it. Regularly. Maybe even continuously. If DD2 is sleeping and DD1 watching tv then you should rest, not run around doing too much.
• don't try and get them both ready for bed at the same time. I used to bath DD1 while DD2 was in a bouncy chair, then read her a story while feeding DD2, then DD1 wld go to bed by 6.45ish and I would have an hour snuggling DD2 and getting her ready for bed while DH cooked.
• if it takes more than 10 mins to prepare then don't cook it for DD1. Pasta pesto is another good friend.
• your BFing so presumably spending v little in alcohol and nights out. Use this money to get a cleaner.
• meet friends, go to toddler groups, get out an about.

And I agree with the others, a good sling is a huge help.

Trace - sorry you are feeling down again. Big hugs. And don't beat yourself up about the drugs, if they work then embrace them.

Spot - It sounds like quite a tough patch with your DP. I too would have been furious about the smoking. Could you guys consider couples counselling? It seems to have been a good experience for WG and her DH. Your little family has a lot to deal what with moves and new babies, some outside support might be a really good idea. Oh, and if I ever leave London but can't move as far as Devon, then I would choose Lewes. I love it. It also has that rare breed that is a fantastic state comprehensive school.

LadyT - you don't have headaches with your cackles do you? Or sharp upper abdominal pain? I had all three if those symptoms with DD1 and it was pre-eclampsia. If you are headachey and swollen do get your BP and wee checked.

Right, I have bought massive coloured chalks and DD1 and I are going to illustrate our back garden wall with a massive chalk mural. Better get off my arse. Talking of my arse it is continuing to slowly dimish. Another 2lbs off last week. I'm so incredibly chuffed.

No Avo, I just felt v nauseous last night and oddly exhausted - deffo no headaches or pain. But I will keep an eye out. Well done on the weight loss! Is it diet or exercise or both? I can't wait to get going with all that. I'm going hardline between end of Sept and Christmas.

Aubs, am impressed with your arse and your artistry. . Another tick in the Lewes box. I shall tell DP we're moving there cos of mumsnet! Oh, and he's not up for couples counselling alas, I have suggested it before but no go, and I'm not going to try and force it as I don't think it would be particularly constructive to do that. But I am aware of how we probably need to give each other a lot more of a break at the moment (am hearing ladyt's voice in my head as I write) and concentrate on making life as easy as possible for ourselves.

Great tips on the surviving two. Must get T to start eating pasta and pesto or it'll be fish fingers and beans all the way!

I have already ordered a P&T and am wondering if it's a bit previous! Though I guess I can get T used to the pushchair in advance so it's no great surprise to have his little bro beneath him. (I am happy to put up money on this being a boy, btw, we did the ring test at the weekend and it confirmed it and everything ).

BEans, lol at the bumping into an old flame at the one o'clock club. A few years ago I'd have assumed you were talking about an after hours bar somewhere!

Oooh, I like being a voice in someone's head! It's like 'Murder She Wrote'!

Right Spot, let's be scientific about the sex of your DC2. What is the general pattern in your and your DP's family? (Although I am not quite sure this bears out for me, to whit:

I have one sister (who has two boys)
DP has one sister (who has a boy and two girls)

Mum comes from a family of endless sisters;
Dad had a bro and three sisters.

A lot of girls in the family, but not sure why MY sister ended up with two boys (her DH has one sister, who ended up with a boy and a girl).

I am waffling now. But quite interested in gender patterns in families.

Hmm, DP has three sisters and one brother.

I have one sister (who has herself had a DD).

But I think I am the boy carrying kind. Which, I think, is pretty conclusive, non?

Great news. Mural drawing exhausts small people. DD1 spent 25 mins drawing sweets all over the wall before announcing she needed a lie down! They are both lying down simultaneously. This has NEVER happened before.

LadyT - my father (an only child) produced three girls and one boy. My maternal grandmother had two girls. My aunt had two girls. My half bro (the one male in this tale) has a girl. Both my cousins have girls. I have two girls. If we have number three what do you think it might be?

On the weight loss I have been following a no carbs after 5pm rule. And no wheat at all. And no sweet things or snacks. And no alcohol during the week.oBit otherwise I eat what I like. So not dieting exactly but being careful. Plus I have been doing 2 Pilates classes a week. Latitude helped as I didn't trust the food stalls so wasn't tempted to eat much but I walked loads.

I have thought of a really important tip for second timers. Make time to enjoy your DC2's early months. I was so obsessed with keeping DD1 happy I feel like I missed out on lots of lovely baby moments with DD2. I sometimes feel quite bad when I remember how I prioritised DD1 every time.

ooh LadyT I like it!
My dad has a sister (who has 2 boys) and a brother (who has 2 girls) My mum has 2 sisters, who both have 1 boy and 1 girl. I have 1 sister, who has no kids, and I have 2 girls. Hmm. Is that enough to make a theory?

But...it is 50/50 every time though, isn't it???

Blimey Avo that sounds like a punishing regime but glad it's working! You are made of sterner stuff than me (and you must have buns of steel!)

thanks for all the warm fluffy things you've all being saying to me
Am feeling a bit better today. I'll try to pop on later to do personals.
xxx

It's really not that punishing Spot. Right now I am lying on the sofa eating a chunck of cheddar with pickle spread on top. Yummmmm. But probably a bit naughty.

Should that be 'buns of Stilton' then?

Hiya trace

Ooops, sorry Rubes! You can add me back though, or if I can remember where to find it I'll go throught eh e-mail list and FB group to remember RL names!

LadyT will you bloody well rest woman!

Beans it is hard, so hard, but the fog does lift!

Bath and bed I used to run the bath and chuck them in together (a bath support is useful) then remove dd and massage her, nappy, pjs etc on the floor at the bathroom door so ds could play in the bath and I could still see him. Then take ds out and get him in pjs while dd screamed. Then we'd all cuddle together on my bed, I'd feed dd and read a story to ds. Pop dd in her cot and she would usually scream while I brushed teeth with ds and read him a last story in his bed. Then I could finish feeding dd and get her to sleep. After a few weeks I could get both to bed with minimal screaming inside half an hour.

Most other things have already been said, during the day dd ended up falling into step with our usual routine after a while, she didn't ahve much choice!

After spending all day yesterday screaming dd seems happier today, fingers crossed we can resume the sleep assault. Course I have a stinking cold again. I want to make some progress this week though as next weekend dh is away all weekend. Strong possibility of insanity ahead.

Crikey o'blimey, I am getting tired just reading these tales of two kids! Suffice to say I can't see my two getting a bath every day

Yes, Avo, I think the no carbs after 5pm and no wheat at all etc really WOULD work. Good for you. Not that you needed to! Oh, and I think you would have another girl. Your DH has a sister, right? Wise words about cherishing the early days of your DC2. I really want to, as it is highly, highly unlikely I will ever have another newborn.

Well, Spot, I don't know whether it is 50/50. I have read a few things about this and remain uncertain - though logic would dictate that it would be 50/50, anecdotal evidence points to trends in families. I watched one of those documentaries a few months ago about people having all of one sex and trying desperately to have the other kind. They didn't seem to have a 50/50 chance.

Trace, your family is more evenly spread gender wise so more difficult to say! But as you have two girls already I reckon that should you have a third you might have another girl.

I should clarify here that I don't know that the FLIPPING HECK I am on about with my half baked theories I need a statistician like our own ZJ to put me straight.

Indith, I have been resting (or resting so far as I am concerned ) today - honest guv. I've only done a bit of tidying. I will do some more and also go for a half hour walk but I feel better for my sort-of rest. Good luck with the week ahead.

I bought my nephew a nice pen for his 18th. Plus, some Selfridges vouchers to buy a shirt, as he goes out a lot and even though he only wears t shirts they are chosen with the UTMOST care and discrimination, and a clock made out of a squashed beer bottle (the way he has started waxing lyrical about the crappest bottled lager amuses me hugely) and a cool beer bottle opener. I hope this is all ok. I take great pride in the fact that he finds me less embarrassing than his parents

You sound like a cool auntie to have, lady. I always used to get lavender bags from mine

Oh, and maybe the fact that I have 9 cousins, all of them boys, says something. Me and my sis were the real oddities in our family!