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Dec 08 Ladies welcome to the new Bean, next stop, Summer.

996 replies

Veggiemummy · 02/07/2010 11:32

Sorry very boring had to think quickly, not my best feature

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 15:32

Cometosessexcometoessexcometoessexspotandkiwi

Me? Didn't say nothing.

EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 15:33

I agree Indith: most of the time I love being a bit of a way from family but babysitting is a BIG draw.

EasilyConfusedIndith · 22/07/2010 15:35

My mind is in the gutter. Took quite a bit of staring to read that Effie, "sex" and "me" keep leaping out.

EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 15:38

Actually, everyone move to Essex and we can set up a giant dec babies babysitting circle. Problem solved.

Speaking of which, I was browsing houses (no we are not moving this year, I'm just nosy) and saw a perfect house. Sigh. It even has a vegetable patch. Only 2 beds but we could squidge in.

Maybe one of you would like it instead?

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-26644909.html

EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 15:39

That's why I had to put some extra words in...

EasilyConfusedIndith · 22/07/2010 15:45

Oh that is lovely.

Don't bother with Essex though, just move here everyone. Property prices are much better Ooop North.

KiwiPanda · 22/07/2010 15:46

What a pretty house Effie!

Spot I don't wonder you were pissed off last night. Usually my mode in these things is to say "talk to each other" blah blah but I've got to say I think it's utterly outrageous that your DP had a go at you when you pointed out that you don't want your child exposed to toxic bloody cigarette smoke!! I would have gone nuclear at that. "My only pleasure" indeed. If your only pleasure really was slowly poisoning yourself, well, that's just sad and clearly untrue. Ooo I'm fuming for you now!

KiwiPanda · 22/07/2010 15:47

Indith I bet they are - we could probably buy a bloody castle in Scotland for the price of a 1 bedroom cardboard box in SW15. Now just persaude my office to move....

EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 16:04

Kiwi: my ILs have just moved to Kettering. Not the most up and coming of areas, but v good transport links and exceedingly cheap. We also looked at Huntingdon - you can get some nice houses and you aren't far from Cambridge.

KiwiPanda · 22/07/2010 17:43

Hmm not entirely sure I want to be nearer to my sister...

DH worked in Kettering once and was traumatised by the experience. He is a very reasonable man but that one he would never go for...!

Beans33 · 22/07/2010 19:38

Hi all

I am going to do an entirely selfish post as am feeling v guilty and a bit miserable.

Bathtime with 2. It's so hard! Izz is usually quite tired by that time of the day and so she's really weepy. She hates being left on her own, whether downstairs on in a room upstairs and follows me around. When I take the baby up, to come back for her, she screams and screams. I invariably end up shouting at her and feel furious with her. It's terrible and feel so guilty afterwards. But it's just so wearing and I feel like she should know better - but she's only 19 months, of course she doesn't. It's heinous. Then Pru starts crying and it all goes to hell! V exhausting. Any tips??! Feel so terrible for being so mean to my lovely lovely DD1. Smother her in kisses afterwards, but I feel like it's too late and I've done the damage. I love her so much, but feel so cross with her when she's being so weepy, while Pru also bawling in the background. It just grates on my nerves!!! Horrible mother.

KiwiPanda · 22/07/2010 19:52

Oh Beans it's not selfish you are looking after two under-2s - no wonder your nerves are frayed! I do the same thing to DD and it's just her...! Those with more than one will, I'm sure, have better advice but I do reckon toting little Pru around in a sling might help - then tho you are carrying her you have hands free for Whizzer? Hope DH plans to take them off your hands for a bit this weekend!

DH had the day off today and baked. He mad muffins. Why is that so sweet?? Dunno but it just is

Rubena · 22/07/2010 19:53

Spot for you but glad he apologized. Tend to agree with Kiwi

Kiwi move to Surrey or Oxfordshire or Berkshire I say that as I don't know which one we'll end up in but just move to Surrey for now
Def move out of London - you'll appreciate the space especially when number 2 is on the cards. I think about when we lived in London and just couldn't possibly do that again with ds. He loves the garden and runs around all day out there if he can. Having said that, I'm not keen on moving too far away from being able to get in there. But of course, unfortunately that's why Devon is cheaper than Surrey

Had a lovely day with LadyT and the glamourous MissO who arrived at my house with gift, lovely lunch and sparkling cheerfulness Thanks Lady! Missed you Beans, and Sybs hope you feel better. Lady hope you got back ok - apparently I did go the slightly longer way to the station

Rubena · 22/07/2010 19:55

Beans x-ed - Sorry you're down. Guess I will be entering that world next week I obviously can't offer any advice, but will be reading with interest at advice from others. You're not a horrible mother!

JamInMyWellies · 22/07/2010 20:14

Beans my love, you have a pretty similair gap to my 2. 17mths. apart. Bedtime is pants. I struggled on with trying to bathe them both and putting up with the screaming until I realised I had to change stuff slightly.

Start doing the bath time routine earlier.

In the morning when I got the boys up I used to chuck clean jimjams and a nappy for each of them on the bathroom side.

If they were overtired bath time got binned. Seriously they are not sweaty teenagers missing a bath wont hurt.

DS1 got chucked in first while I would slowly undress DS2 then while DS1 was doing the splashing thing I would either top & tail DS2 or pop him in for maximum couple of mins.

Then hopefully DS2 would feel fairly calm and I would swaddle tightly an lay DS2 in a darkened rm and close the door. Dont worry if DD2 cries 20 mins of crying will not hurt her.

This then meant I could sort DS1 out into PJ's and a quick story and cuddle.

DS2 would then have either fallen asleep for half an hour or be screaming his nuts off. But by this time DS1 would be in bed so I could give DS2 my full attention.

Seriously honey bedtime with 2 is a struggle and even now we have nights when it all goes tits up.

Oh and I think bath/bedtime was when I found the dummy really helped.

Wish you were a bit closer to me but Sarf London is an absoloute arse or me to get to.

Chin up sweetie in another couple of weeks you will be a master at it. xx

Rubena · 22/07/2010 20:16

runs off to take down notes.....

Beans33 · 22/07/2010 21:03

Jam - thank you very much. I will take your guidance on that. Bloody brilliant. I have been doing DD2 first while DD1 plays. But tonight, she was just screaming. Then DD2 continued to scream afterwards. Wsa bloody miserable. But thanks so much for your wise words. DD2 only has a bath every couple of nights, but DD1 always does. But think I might skip it if it's turning into hell time for a night or 2! I've got into my own routine too much!

Thank you so much.

x

EffiePerine · 22/07/2010 21:58

Beans: you will find your own way very soon. But I would bet my last bar of choc that if you read back to out dec/jan threads after the babes were born, every single mum with 2 was weeping over how we had made a terrible mistake and would never cope. I know I did. Adjusting to two is hard, but you DO adjust. Jam has wise words, do what you need to to get through. I'm trying to remember what I did with baths. I think I put DS2 in the bathroom in a bouncy chair while I bathed DS1, then changed and fed him while I read to DS1. maybe we washed him in the morning? I still get DS2 out of the bath first.

Kiwi: I can see your DH's point. 'Adrian, I would follow you to the ends of the earth but I draw the line at Skegness'.

LadyThompson · 22/07/2010 22:42

Evening gels,

It's Glamour Central here. I have a facepack on, with my glasses on over it, and disfiguringly swollen ankles I only got back this evening (given that I was supposed to be returning on Monday evening) and DP is still there, so therefore I can hang out looking totally grim-ola.

SO lovely to see you today, Rubes, (may I report to you all she is looking impossibly svelte and fab) - I wouldn't worry about the route to the station because when I got there, there was no lift over the bridge and no staff, and I called their helpline and they told me to get a member of the public to help me lift the buggy up all those stairs and down again, and there was only one very weedy lady there. Total nightmare! Anyway, apart from that the journey was hugely straightforward. But I feel sick and knackered - I think I have done too much over the last few days. I feel ill and tired, I can't really explain...So, have cancelled plans tomorrow and need to TRY to relax at least for an hour or two, and get rid of horrid swollen cankles.

HENNYWAY, Beans, you poor old sausage, I think bathing two at the same time sounds really hard! Jam's advice sounds v good as always. But please don't be hard on yourself. DD1 knows you love her! Everyone is just adjusting to it all at the mo - it's bound to be extra hard at first. As Rubes will testify, my DD just wants to be on my lap all the time at the mo, so I foresee big trouble ahead. And I will be asking for YOUR advice

Effie - few things terrify me, but the words Corby, Kettering and Wellingborough come pret-ty close

Kiwi - well, you know how I feel about London, BUT - St Albans is only 14 mins from Kings X on one of the fast trains, right? You could end up with the best of both worlds. I loved being in my flat this week and I would be a liar if I said I wouldn't prefer to live in London. But the compromising on space (my flat is tiny) would start to become a big issue, even for me, especially with two. Oooh, jealous of the polo, always fancied a bash at that.

Urbane - how are the kidneys?

Avo - talking of property, you mention the cost of housing in London. I honestly think my flat would go for more than in the last boom. It's absolutely crazy. So I do know what you mean.

Spot - poor, poor you with the rows. Great you got such a handsome apology, though. Do you know what - never mind what he's up to, try to be kind to yourself and rest your tired mind. You're both wondering where you're going to live, you've got the anticipation of another child - it's a tough old time. You probably both feel quite jangled. Hope things improve (bet they will).

Pingu - well, my DD is the opposite to yours as she is virtually a fruitarian!

JB - you mentioned the weather - do you not live near that large northern city beginning with M? If so, isn't it notoriously rainy, like Wales? Oh, and when's your interview?

ZJ - how is your DD now?

Trace - a big hug for you, m'dear. Don't fret about the pills. You've got plenty of time to reduce the dose, don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Hope the bits are on the mend!

Katie, if you are reading - how did you get on at the consultant today? And a metaphorical poo pie to the doctor who told you you ought to have waited until your treatment had started for your diabetes.

Right, if I leave this facepack on much longer my face is going to come off with it I know I have missed people but if I don't get into bed soon I will probably collapse.

Rubena · 22/07/2010 23:51

Ok attempting to post from phone. It hasn't been working well but finally got on. In bed but awful heartburn has set in again.
Lady, sorry to hear about all that trouble at the station. I've never actually caught a train from there so didn't know about
No lift situation - Major pain that is. Hope you get some decent rest tomorrow. You are very kind, but you looked glowing as per usual
Yourself, and can't believe you are 31 weeks already! Right, must post this. Then will
Try hard to shut eyes! I have to get bloods done tomorrow and last minute shopping (eek)!
Night all.

EffiePerine · 23/07/2010 06:36

Lady: hope you are feeling better this morning. If not, get on to your consultant sharpish. You may be down on iron again or something.

I'm starting to think we had a lucky escape not moving to Kettering ;). Though I knew about Corby. ILs have moved from Spalding so... (comment deleted to avoid offending fervent fenlanders).

Last day at work for a week! Looking forward to Thurs, I haven't been to b Market for too long. Mmmmmmm foooood. Love that bit of London.

Rubena · 23/07/2010 07:23

Back to an early rise again? Has he got me in training for next week? Sore teeth I think as his fist in his mouth and crying as he wandered in to the bedroom I asked him what's wrong and he pointed to me tummy and then to the moses basket

Milk and Calbuprofen and he seems upbeat again, but I'm not [tired]

btw, Indith - I'm a deletee of yours, but I totally understand.... In fact I'm going to do a bit of Facebook purging again myself since I'm tired and irritable.... Anyone who doesn't chat to me from time to time is getting binned. (chatting only here accepted)

Beans33 · 23/07/2010 08:20

Thanks for all wise words, you lovely ladies. I think will only bathe Pru every other day and do DD1 first while I change DD2 on the floor and top and tail her or get her ready for bath. Thanks Effie!

DD2 went to sleep at 7.00 last night and I thought I had it sorted. Started crying at 8.30 so I fed her and she just kept on screaming. Had got 3 big burps out of her, so couldn't think what it was. Finally I thought I'd try controlled crying at 9.45 as thought my ears were going to burst. Put her in her moses basket and tucked her in, shut her door and shut my bedroom door. Could still hear her, but muted. After 10 mins she went quiet and didn't wake up til DH got home and had to wake her to feed her at 11.30! Not bad at all - was v pleased!!! So think will try that again. When you go in every 10 mins and give them a cuddle, but put them down again and go out. I just am starting to go a bit spare with my evenings! I hope it's not too heartless and that I can stick to it.

How's everyone else doing? I was tucking into a bacon sandwich made by DH this morning and DD1 came and nicked it! Was v sad!

Rubes and Lady - so sorry to miss you yesterday - but hope you had a lovely time. Rubes - go to bed early tonight if you can - get as much sleep as possible. And Lady - you MUST take it easy today - I insist! I expect you to be on here a lot as you have your feet up!

Effie - thanks for your tips too. xx

sybilfaulty · 23/07/2010 08:23

Hello everyone. Sorry to miss you yest girls but T and I both had the trots. I felt terrible but now wonder if I have lost weight. Not a very healthy attitude!

It's DD1's last day in reception today. Expect tears (mine).

EffiePerine · 23/07/2010 08:41

Beans: have thought of a few more things that we did to help adjust.

I took DS1 with me everywhere - if I was out of his sight he threw a complete wobbly. If DS2 was asleep (and he slept a fair amount) I'd leave him where he was. As soon as he was fed/quiet/put to sleep all my attention had to switch to DS1.

In every room where I had to do something, I had a spot to put DS2 down (Moses basket/bouncy chair/car seat/playmat) and some toys/books for DS1.

Changing spots upstairs and down (you prob have this already) and ds1 involved in helping with nappy changes.

Talking to DS1 all the time about what I was doing. He was v unsure about developments and needed to know exactly what was going on.

Having some time where DS1 would be out ( we had childcare one day a week for the first few months, plus DH would take him out to do stuff) so I could sit and cuddle DS2 without feeling guilty.

Playgroups are a lifesaver. DS1 was happy to run off and play while I concentrated on DS2. The other mums were really helpful and more than happy to keep an eye on the older one or cuddle the baby as needed. We went to about 4 groups a week!

Cafes: a bit hard on the old purse, but you can chat and eat cake with the older one while the younger one sleeps or watches everyone.

I'm sure others will be along with tips as well!