Dec 08 Ladies - Maybe this thread they'll ALL sleep through the night at the same time!

[Beans33]

Apologies for rubbish title, couldn't think of anything - mind is totally riddled by hormones...!

Just a quick hellooo. I just did a very intense yoga session

Veggie Sorry, I should have typed 30 Day Shred. The thread is called "Anyone else doing the 30 Day Shred?" Some very impressive results have been achieved.

Hi all, what a lovely sunny day, I've managed to burn my neck and back, always forget to put cream on there.
I've had a fairly rubbish birthday, (D)H managed a card this morning, obviously bought from Tesco's on his way home from work last night and the only present I got was from my sister who lives in Zambia. I took the kids to a local woodland and play park for the day and met up with some friends and their kids for a picnic. It should have been a lovely day but DS was being extremely trying so I ended up spending most of the time shouting at him . The poor kid must think I hate him at the moment, but he is just driving me up the wall. I have to tell him to stop doing something at least three times before he actually listens, and then it's usually only because I've yelled. He seems to just switch off, and even though he knows he is going to get into trouble he just can't stop doing it.
DH failed to redeem himself when he got home, I got two books from DS (nothing from DH or DD) again obviously bought from Tescos. He offered to take me out for supper but hadn't thought to organise a babysitter or anything and the kids were too tired to go anywhere. Why can't he think ahead occasionally rather than leaving every damn thing to the last minute? Anyway, he has now gone out to get us a Thai takeaway, so is a little bit out of the dog house. I get extremely annoyed every birthday, because his is 5 days before mine, I always make a big effort, buy presents, bake cake(s), organise a bbq etc. and then mine just seems to pass by without any sort of effort being made. Ho hum, I suppose I should be used to it by now.
Anyway, good news is that we found Ele, Lily was absolutely thrilled to be reunited with him and is sleeping soundly tonight.
Beans you made me choke on my biscuit with Ex BF's antics, is that normal??? I sometimes think that I am very naive, do blokes really do that sort of stuff? Grim.
DH back with the takeaway, so better go.

Oh poor Katie that is totally crap crap crap of your DH, esp as his birthday is so soon before yours. Next year do nothing for him but tell him his present to you is you organising all those things for yourself and a spa day!

Happy birthday by the way. I had actually meant to give you a 'happy birthday, how was your day?' on FB but didn't, glad I didn't though as would have made you think of your crappy day.

I know what you mean about your DS. With DS1 I feel like all I do lately is tell him off of tell him what to do...and do it NOW! Amazingly the little monkeys still love us. If I was him I'd give up and have myself adopted. I'm planning on having another coffee date with DS1 soon as I loved the last one, and think we need some time just us (I realise I should do the same with DH but eh couldn't be bothered).

Right I'm making the cuppa tea so better go. Gonna watch a 30 Rock then bed. DH is doing a last minute clean out if the car as he gives it back tomorrow and then we finally get our proper car. It's a new VW Touran, OMG a people mover! How our lives have changed!

Happy Birthday Katie. I hope you have a good weekend with lie-ins and nice food and drink instead.

Yes, Veggie you are very wise. I also wish I could spend more time with the boys at the moment, but then I hear about what they have been doing at nursery, and I think that I would never have thought about doing that- they were doing ballroom dancing today and they have some amazingly complicated water play set up. Of course, its not the same as mum/dad time, but at the moment I sneak DS1 out once a week at lunch time for a bike ride and an ice cream. Ideally I'd like to work 2-3 days a week but I'm struggling to fit 5 days into 4 at the moment. I can see they get the better of me for us spending some time away from eachother.

Anyway, things are much better here, I went to visit a friend tonight in the car, which felt fantastic, and DH and I are getting on loads better, since a very painful conversation last week. Feeling very positive, hence want another baby which is probably madness. Not helped by DS1 telling me he wants a sister.

Rubes sorry to hear about the dbgate stress still. But what is a Freddie mercury lycra thing, have I missed something ?

Oh, I could probably do a Cambridge meet up sometime as well, would be great to put names to faces...

Good title Beans ? but even if all our babies do start to sleep through, you?re next one will come along and put a stop to all that!! DD has had a couple of unsettled nights too, but 2 back teeth have popped through this week so it must be down to them. Wierdly, she?s not waking, just crying in her sleep, so there?s not much I can do. Still a happy little chappy during the day though

Congratulations on the walking little Kiwi, and v impressed with her timing, she must have known about your DH?s trip

Trace I know what you mean about needing time away from DH ? mine is changing the nature of his job so that as of this time next year he?ll be based at home, instead of going away every week. Great for our family, and the main reason I went back to work instead of being a SAHM, so that we both get time with DD, rather than just me enjoying her ? but I?m also a little nervous of not getting my me time evenings ? eating what I want, doing what I want and spending all night on MN! What if he wants to make conversation? Or worse, what if we don?t have any conversation? Oh, and I do pelvic squeezes every time I?m sat at traffic lights (4 sets of lights on the way to work, so that?s 8 lots of squeezes every day), but I?m not much of an advert for them as I sneezed and leaked today ?

WG grr at smuggo. Tell her about Jump?s ?friend? who practised baking birthday cakes and made her own bunting. In fact, we should all set her a challenge and see how long it is before she cracks ?

at O pinching the muffin top LadyT! I loved Stockholm when we went, I?d love to go back one day. And LOL at you deciding against weeing during sex because of the ?tedious ramifications? ? my mind often wanders away from the job in hand too, onto the joys of whether I should hang the washing out or whether it will rain or similar such practical thoughts

Happy birthday Katie, sorry you?ve had a pooey day, I hope the Thai was yummy. And happy birthday to Jump later this week

Re DH?s checking up on us, one day when I had too much to think about, I pondered about showing him how MN works, just in case something happened to me and I needed to get a message to you all ? but then I weighed up the risk of that happening vs him checking on me, and decided not to

Good luck with the move Beans, and don?t get too involved as you need your strength for other things right now

My tummy is now hurting from laughing, firstly from kamikaze wee and now from Vaggie and MrVag discussing things to do with spunk. Trace should try that line of conversation with her DH ? then he won?t complain about mince chat being dull! And now Nolda has set me off again, thinking about her stripping off to feed her children. Ow! How can tummy muscles hurt, when I know for a fact I have none?!

at the princess party at Bishopthorpe Palace, can I come please Trace? I have no plans for Saturday

The other day as I was cooking tea and DH was washing up he suddenly announced ?have you noticed I?m cleaning up as the tea is cooking? I?ve learnt that from Katy on I Can Cook, it means you can enjoy the meal more because the washing up isn?t hanging over you? . I think I MAY have suggested that to him once or twice over the years, but no, he listens to blooming Katy rather than me I suppose I should be grateful that he has got the message

I?ve put some pics of the Yorkshire meet up on my profile ? hope you can see them, it?s the first time I?ve done this!

oh ffs. I've done a big post and lost it twice now. Bloody laptops.

Summary - Beans, Yuk. Good luck with the move!

Daisy - hope DH isn't too upset by the picture, it's all a bit soon for that really. Is he getting some counselling?

Katie - grr to crap DH re your birthday. Can you get yourself a pressie and make it be from him?!

LadyT - hope the cold goes away soon.

Effie/avo/ everyone with work crises - it is pretty hard and must be even more so with two. Vag is right though that being an SAHM doesn't automatically make everything perfect.

ZJ lovely lovely pics! The beach looks great, and Trace I always thought you were blonde and looked like a mate of mine called Helen for some reason Well done DH for learning a lesson off the telly now we need programmes about how great it is to do the laundry

argh. Can't remember the rest. Must learn not to accidentally tap the little touchpad thingy and go back and forth across the web hence losing posts.

I know I am not meant to be panicing and the MAP can make you late but my period is still not here. Normall by cycle is 30-32 days. This is day 36 so I am between 4 and 6 days late. I have period pains but then I have had them for a week and I had them when I was pregnant both times. Hmmmmm.

Ok Effie - since you asked. But I won't bang on about me too much. I hope you are feeling brighter.

ds woke for 2nd day at 0550 we think it's the sun and although there are blackout blinds there is still a tiny bit at the side the light can sneak in, so need to crack den it up a little more.

Avo oops. I had those pains too and they were implantation - hope it's not in your case. Would you be really upset?

Kiwi, I had forgotten about Medised until someone mentioned it on your FB page. A friend of mine uses it - I think as long as it's not abused it's spose to be fine now and again right?

Hope you are feeling better Lady

Daisy that photo thing is a bit odd to me

Love that comment Zoe - unfortunately it's the story of my life. I can say things a million times to dh, then someone else says the same and he tells me!!

Still havnt had a chance to post properly. will do tonight as DH left for his 3 peaks challenge this morning. So the weekend is looming with only plans for Sunday. Gah. Off to get new tyres this morning and then Sainsbos oh the excitement.

Oh and DS2 woke at 4.30 this morning ready to start the day not impressed.

Daisy - I meant to say that I actually have some photos of mums grave and I like them as we chose such a fitting place to bury her (woodland burial site overlooking the same sea view her old flat had). I can actually understand why your BiL sent tour DH that photo. Plus I don't think you should worry about avoiding things that make him cry about his mum. Crying is a good way to release emotions and is a lot better than repressing the sadness and then turning to drink or some other alternative. Do you get what I mean? Anyway I hope your DH returns to an even keel soon.

Oh and Rubes, if I am pregnant I will be shocked to the core and very, very scared. I will have to reassess my plans too. But obviously I would cope and accept that it was just one of those things.

ZJ I am amused that a childrens programme about how to cook inspired your DH to actually clean up, but not to cook anything. Feel free to let him know that my 4 year old son actually cooks his own meals from that show. Clearly my DS1 has gotten a bit more from Katy than your DH! Speaking of I can cook, DS1 & I managed to find soft lasagne sheets yesterday and are both stupidly excited that he can use them for his Katy's lasagne instead of the hard sheets.

Trace I love your hair! You may have inspired me to think about a shorter do! Thanks for the photos ZJ I love seeing all the LOs.

Avo surely you can test by now. Please do, whatever the result we are here for you. Are you ok?

Oops pressed post when I didn't actually mean to. Daisy i took a photo of my dads grave when I was last in Australia with DS1 next to it and the little train of his that we left there instead of flowers (which then caused a complete freak out by DS1 when we were leaving and he realised the train wasn't coming with us, felt very bad for the burial going on nearby at the time). I actually didn't think to show it to my siblings or mum it was mainly for mum. But I guess your BIL wanted to make a connection with DH right at that moment. Maybe the 2 of them need to get together occasionally over the next few months to talk about their mum. Also a friend took a photo of her DHs grave for me as he was a dear friend of mine and I hadn't been able to go over for the funeral. It was nice to see his gravestone and the sentiment she has engraved in the plaque. But then I hadn't seen it before so a little different. It's true DH needs to cry but I can undestand how you feel as you have to deal with the fallout. I think someone else needs to help out, either counselling or his family.

On the medised issue, it was removed for sale for use for under 6 year old because it was found to cause hallucinations. Obviously I'm not recommending it for use (cos I can't) but if it hasn't caused any adverse effect so far I doubt it's going to. Any effects are short term nothing long term has been found.

DH is v keen for me to have a pampering and fizzy wine day, bless him. I'm looking at the Sanctuary which has a spesh offer on in June. Includes afternoon tea and pink fizz.

Bugger I've got to pick up DS1 in 20mins but DS2 has fallen asleep. Hopefully I can transfer him into the pushchair.

Avo: the one time I had to take the MAP I was sick ad a dog and my period was very late afterwards (and my cycle was always freakily regular). I did ring the gp in a panic (I was in my early 20s and dh and I had not been together long) and was told the MAP was very very effective if taken in good time.

Ooh, effie, I'd be up for a sanctuary pampering day, had one when I was last preggers and was really nice. Which days of the week are you around?

Avo i feel really nervous for you. Do you think you'll test soon so you know one way or the other?

Feel v sorry for the early risers, it's shit that it probably already feels like the middle of the afternoon for you. T seems to have phases of waking really early and other times when he's fine, and there seems to be no difference other than blardy teeth. He's going through a good phase at the moment which I am v grateful for, but am not counting my chickens.

We had a visit from a private midwife last night as am considering spending money we don't really have on having a nice home birth with someone I've seen before and who will hopefully help me get sorted with BFing afterwards too. It is a lot of money but I feel that I'm never going to do this again, and it would give such peace of mind to know the person will definitely be there and not have to cut and run immediately after the birth. Veggie was it you who had an independent midwife last time?
And I'm also (already) worrying what to do with T when the time comes. For those of you who had home births with no.2, did you ship them out at the last minute to a friend's house? What happened if it was the middle of the night?

katie I'm sorry you had such a ropey birthday, and v on your behalf. I can completely identify (not sure if you remember but DP forgot to buy me a Christmas present when T was born) and is underwhelming with gifts and occasions at the best of times. The sad thing is, I don't think it's possible to change that really, or you keep getting your expectations dashed. Can on;y echo whoever said don't kill yourself with making things special for him. Snot great though.

NJAN glad you're feeling more cheerful (and by that I don't mean squiffy). Sometimes you really just need to see a friend. It's so easy to forget though, when you're stuck in the domestic routine. I'm thinking of actually getting very organised about things and trying to plan something for me every week, whether it's just a bike ride or a solo trip to the cinema or a meal with a friend. good for the soul.

Just had a random thought, am I the only person on the thread never to have experienced matrimonial vows?

oooh Effie count me in I think to your and spots spa day. If it's not too far and they cater for preggo's I'm in....

I'm thinking of the 21st June. In fact I've already booked the day off!

oh I'll be in Spain. Never mind I just looked at the website and they recommend their preggo treatments for less than 28 weeks anyway. Will go back to plan A I think and go local to me (and in Spain)

Hi all,
Quick cheeky post from work...

spot I have my friend lined up to take DS if/when I go into labour (I am hoping if I don't go naturally to have a CS but I havent' spoken to hospital about that yet). If i start having twinges and think soemthing is imminent I am going to call my parents and get them to come down (2.5 hrs away or so). So hopefully avoiding having to rope in my friend too much. Though she says that it's so exciting that she will leave work and take holiday, do stuff in the middle of the night, etc. Which is VERY nice of her. Fortunately my parents have a good friend in Cambridge who they can stay with and I think I will suggest that they stay there rather than with me as I don't want them stressing out!!! I think you will find that people are very willing to offer to help out as I have had a few offers. And anyone that hasn't offered probably would be happy to be asked, I have to say if a friend asked me to look after their DC while they were in labour I would feel quite privelidged(sp??)! AS I remember it you had a fast labour didn't you?? So I guess whoever it is needs to be near.

Like the idea of a private midwife if you can afford it. I would think of doing that I reckon if I was having a homebirth, apart from the fact that I did an antenatal course with the local independent midwife and I thought she was really quite annoying (I asked on the course what happens if you have a caesarean and she said "Oh that's so unlikely to happen"! Silly woman, I think their antenatal courses were just sales pitches for their private homebirths. Which is fair enough but they kept going on about how awful it was to go to hospital. Helpful, NOT. anyway, hmmm...that brought up an old rant!

Not sure if you are the only one who hasn't done marriage vows on here! Surely not?

I think i need to have some time to myself too. Though DH doesn't get that much time to himself either so that would feel a little selfish. But should try and squeeze in some me time before No 2 I reckon, but with moving house that might not happen. Ooh I hope Beans house moving is going well!!! I have to say I am dreading it. If it happens - we haven't exchanged yet.

katie sorry about shit birthday. I have to agree on the "forgetting" father's day thing. Or getting him a tesco value card. I suppose that may be a bit unfair on the DCs though

daisy sorry your DH is upset again. Sorry not really got any advice, but not really sure whether the photo is weird or not. I do agree a photo of her alive enjoying life would have seemed more positive to me, but I have no experience of direct bereavement like that so don't know. Fingers xed he is back on the up soon.

veggie I can confirm that Traces hair does look very cool in real life too. Good luck on the weightloss to you and daisy. Daisy I think a stone in 5 weeks is hard but doable, I am sure you can do it!!

avo I have my fingers xed for you not being up the duffage. It does sound pretty unlikely, but worrying all the same.

rubes sorry your DB is still being an arse. Feel free to rant about it though, don't go away!

Right back to work now.

I've just done the most horrible thing. DS2 didn't stayed settled asleep earlier but I kept in the pushchair anyway in the hope of getting him to sleep while I picked up DS1. We had to pick up some bits and got home at 1245pm (our time) and DS2 still wasn't asleep. So through some lunch on the table for DS1 and marched DS2 into the bedroom thinking he would go straight to sleep. Of course he was over tired and would not sleep and was quite screamy (in that high pitched tear at your very soul type of way). Finally I gave up and needed some space so I said 'right baby veggie I'm going to leave you for 5 mins'. I left him screaming in there for a few minutes (30 seconds) then opened the door to go back in. He was at the door and actually pushed it shut. I opened it again but he pushed it shut again. I was getting really worked up now so I thought fine stay in there and shut the door again he continued screaming and banging on the door. I left him for ages, he was really screaming I've never left him like that before. Finally I went back in and layed down with him. He was hitting me and kicking me and I was getting a bit annoyed but had calmed down a bit so i tried cuddling etc. It was then that I noticed the blood on the bed. I looked him over and found one crushed and very bloody pointer finger. Poor little man had been banging on the door because I'd crushed his finger. He has settled now but still not asleep (I put the tele on, guilt TV allowance). Ive assessed the damage and as far as I can see it's superficial and I've dresses it, though will need to pop out and get some better dressings. I've given him neurofen and he seems ok now. But I'm so upset, poor DS1 is upset too as I was crying DS2 was crying and there was blood. He is now asking if I did that to him when he was a baby. How bad can I feel! Poor little DS2 and he's still tired!

Spot I highly recommend an independant midwife. It's expensive but having paid for both the boys births it was def the best money we have ever spent. We forfeited a few holidays to make up for the cost. The way DH & I saw it, people spend a fortune on schooling, toys, everything on their childs life if you cut back on just a few of those things you pay for after they are born it would pay for one of the most important moments in their life. When your looking see what package they offer, some include extras like pre & post natal massage.

Oh veggie that sounds rubbish, poor little DS2, you didn't do it on purpose though!! My dad shut my brothers finger in the car door once quite badly (it wasn't broken but they thought it was), v stressful at the time, lots of guilt, but now we laugh about it!

Hello everyone,

Happy birthday katie. Sorry it wasn't a better today.

Hurrah for the spa day effie! nolda I feed DD in just a nappy if it is very hot. The confusion with us being naked but the babies being clothed reminded me about DH's Aunt remarking to his mum how in a heatwave she always does her housework nude. She is a very respectable, rather prim Daily Mail reader! I think the heat must go to her head. It amuses me to picture her prancing about with a feather duster with it all hanging out.

zoe Thanks for posting the pics! DD looks even more huge in the pics. I think her still almost bald head makes her look like a giant baby!

I must go and pump up the paddling pool, hurrah! Naughty DH comment of the week here: The other day I was encouraging DD to shake DH's tummy whilst I sang 'jelly on a plate' . This seems to have backfired as they were doing it back to me yesterday. I remarked to DH that my tummy is still very wobbly and untoned after having DD and he said, 'No, it was always like that'. Cheers my love .