Dec 08 Ladies - Maybe this thread they'll ALL sleep through the night at the same time!

[Beans33]

Apologies for rubbish title, couldn't think of anything - mind is totally riddled by hormones...!

SO much for toddler music, there was no one at the village hall! I am being a vvv good girl this week and am taking DD to toddler group tomorrow so maybe I will find what's up. Meantime, I will do my own music group with her!

Right, Spot, the restrictions may not be as bad as you fear. Did he specify? In DP's building, in which there are eight flats, in theory people are supposed to seek the permission of the other residents before renting out flats to second parties. In practice, no one has bothered, and no one seems especially bothered. So it depends on size of flat/relationships with neighbours/nature of restrictions. You need further info/advice from your sol.

JJ, I am crap at ironing as well Thanks for all the recipe ideas, I really appreciate it. I certainly have a lot of lentils. I might try JB's suggestion tonight as it sounds very easy! I love cous cous but it's high GI so I tend to avoid. (Fussy, ain't I?) It doesn't help that we haven't got a lot in and the village shop only has Bachelor's Savoury Rice in abundance.

Katie, I am still crossing fingers like mad about the cottages and I am pleased that the link was of some potential use. As to the BJ problem, I am rather stumped. I can see both sides. If you hate it and it makes you feel rubbish, I would say that's a pretty compelling reason for not doing something. Sex is supposed to be fun, after all! And doing something which makes you feel miserable is just not what you need in a sex life. However, to be completely fair, if it's something he really gets off on, I can see why he'd been keen, and there is something nice about doing something that you know the other party likes. Basically, I think neither of you are wrong, but you are definitely more in the right. But that doesn't really resolve the situation...

SL, I think you know what I think of any sort of crusading evangelist on MN I think it's unhelpful to make sections 'the enemy', and causes a lot of unnecessary guilt and bad feeling. However, I do appreciate that some people want a VBAC very much and have a struggle to get one. I have sympathy with THEM (well, I do if there's not a compelling medical reason for them to have a cs), as I do with anyone just trying to get the birth they want. Anyway, I notice my hospital have done something sneaky. The price has gone up since I had DD (which I expected, it will be nearly 2 yrs ago) but the cs package used to include 3 nights. Now it includes 2. I hope that will be enough for me to feel ok, as last time I had to stay in 4 nights and the extra night was bloody expensive. How long did other cs folk stay in? I'm thinking that this time the epidural will work, I won't need serious morphine and therefore won't be tripping for 48 hours. All that and I still count DD's birth as a really positive experience We mothers are NUTS.

Damn, balls to the toddler music LadyT!

Re CS, I was only in for just over 24 hrs, I was desperate to get home!! i think rubes also was only in for a similar short amount of time. Can you ask that it's done very early in the day so that you have that bit extra time to recover while still being 2 nights. I did find it a struggle getting out of bed at home for the first couple of days without a fancy crank up bed like they have in hospital though. But it was worth it not to be in hospital. I didn't like being there on my own overnight.
Yes agreed on the VBAC evangelists, I find the whole going on about how you shouldn't have monitoring or a canula or this or that a little bit wearing, to be honest I think a lot of the hospitals requests are reasonable at least on paper. I think it makes sense for me to have a canula in, I don't want someone bloody stabbing me in a panic mid-contraction cos i have to have an em-CS, I would rather it was in in advance. And if they are willing to consider intermittent monitoring then that is good enough for me. It may be completely different on the day, and they may be a pain in the arse about not intervening, etc, but I do find the whole "The doctors are out to get you" attitude a bit wearing.

katie That's a tricky one. However, you shouldn't do it because you are being guilted into it. That wouldn't be fun for anyone.

LadyT I only stayed in two nights and had my bags packed ready to escape on the third day . I wasn't allowed the suppo..whatsit (up the bottom!) painkiller because of my transplant. I think it has 'brufen in it. They must have given me something else, although I only went home on paracetomol. Amazing you found it a positive experience. I was scared to death before, during and then just stunned afterwards!

Oh Jolly yes I hope so re moving house, but we shall see!! Ta on the Mamas and Papas stuff, I have ordered some stuff so will see how it fits.
Katie, hmmm, not sure I think it depends how much it is important to him and how much you hate it to be honest...My DH has some bedroom preferences which don't do it for me (nothing that exciting or kinky but he would go NUTS if I revealed so I shan't) and do indulge it now and again, but this particular thing doesn't do a lot for me so I do feel as if it's a "favour" to him rather than mutual fun if you see what I mean. it is a tricky one.

Has Rubes gone? I didn't get to say have a good holiday, damn!

Well, JB, I was worried about the spinal and epidural going in, and that was ok. The actual op seemed ok too, and I felt relieved that DD seemed well (if completely unrecognisable). I didn't like the sewing up and general rummaging afterwards (what DO they do? I must ask) as it felt a bit uncomfortable, and then I was pretty good for a while (if ambivalent about DD) until the pain kicked in when the spinal had work off and the epi failed. The rest of that day and the next were bad because the morphine they gave me just made me feel horrid and nuts. That makes it all sound bad. But somehow when I look back, I feel positive about it and part of that is obviously the whole business of having DD (pretty amazing, and I really don't think natural births have got the monopoly on amazing! And to be honest I am so grateful we both got out of it alive and well) and also the brilliant care I received.

Beans - missed the whole "is she isn't she drama", very amusing, but more importantly, yay for exchanging, that's fantastic news!

SL - you are sounding very sensible about the CS. I know the whole thing can be terribly emotionally charged for lots of people, but actually you need to keep a sense of perspective. Much as I loved my VBAC, I wanted it mostly for practical reasons and wouldn't have been overly bothered if I hadn't got it. (BTW on the whole cannula thing, I found once it was in, it was no bother and I can see how it makes sense to have it. The only downsides are the unpleasantness of getting it in, and the slightly defeatist attitude you start as they are putting one in "just in case". But that isn't really a good reason to object.)

LadyT - on a simiilar CS theme, I think I had 2 nights in with DD and was desperate to get out. So IME 2 nights is more than fine. But partly it depends on how much support you have lined up at home, and how you feel about what Lady O will want from you in the circumstances, which obviously isn't a factor first time around. On the food thing - I'd agree about chickpeas. Very student cooking this, but I have sometimes done a kind of chickpea and mushroom curry type affair, which isn't too bad. And on the seasonal front - broad bean salads (e.g. with feta), risotto, that kind of thing? Broad beans, cooked in rice with lots of dill and parsley, eaten with yoghurt is a good combo (classic of Iranian cookery).

Spot - FWIW, not feeling like it for a while sounds completely normal to me. Sounds horrible to say it, but I kind of occasionally "tolerated" DH through both pregnancies, but both times never really felt like it until I finished BF (i.e. 9 months after the event) so he really has been very patient. On the plus side, rediscovering each other has been pretty special each time.

Katie - figures crossed for you on the cottages, really hope it comes off and CGT doesn't blow a hole through your plans. I am finding all the scaremongering about the budget deeply depressing, especially as a lot of it seems to be slightly immature posturing. On the other, I don't have much to add to LadyT's wisdom. I don't think you are being unreasonable, but there is probably something to be said on both sides.

LadyT - you asked how things are looking for me this week. TBH, its a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. There is some movement, lots of phone calls flying around today, I suppose I'm not sure how I feel about it all anymore. No point going through the gory details, I am sure there are plenty of twists and turns to come. Also, I love my family (parents, sibs) dearly, but they are starting to do my head in. They are all fretting for me, hanging on for every update and constantly wishing me the best, but ostrich like as it may seem, I'd actually like to ignore the situation once in a while! Not sure I want to say anything though as they will probably only find it hurtful. DH, bless him is being good as gold about the whole thing - doesn't even raise it unless I want to talk.

You were braver than me ladyT! I was nearly having kittens. I think a next time would be easier because I'd know exactly what to expect. It was amazing though and such a relief when DD came out OK. And finding out that she was a she of course!

summer I know you can't tell us the preference but not knowing what you mean really does get the imagination going into overdrive! Do you have to wear your bike helmet?!

I know I asked how you were Invis, but I do sympathise. I know how it makes me feel when someone asks about my novel. I don't mind talking about it on here, actually, but in the wider world it just seems like a sore spot. In short, I hope you can just find ways to stay calm and sane through the stress. Sounds like your DH is being smart about it, which is really great.

Ooh, broad beans, feta, dill, yoghurt...mmmm. But my local shop will not provide. There's a restaurant called Fontana nr where I used to live in Bayswater, and that is Lebanese rather than Persian, but takes in some of the same sorts of themes.

Right, time to finish writing a piece I have been commissioned to write and of which I am making exceedingly heavy weather

LadyT - the gripe about being asked was not at all directed at you . Like you say, somehow its different on here! DH is being great. Although he does think my family is bonkers. But to be fair, I think the same about his... Didn't realised you used to be in Bayswater, I've spent time in that neck of the woods too. Hafez in Moscow Rd is one of my faves for Iranian food.

Appopos of nothing, on the Guardian World Cup coverage there is a rather nice moving reconstruction of Saturday's England game - in Lego I thought it was rather cool.

LadyT It's brilliant isn't it? They will have it for all the England games. However many they may have left...

Hope everyone is good - hooray for exchanging Beans! Alas I can't meet up Monday as I'm working this one for a change (having a day off later in the week to make up for it) - only day I'm really free is Sunday but I expect you have family plans? Being just me and DD I'm trying to fill our weekends but have just had plans for Sunday cancelled on me, boo.

I have a STREAMING cold. In June. NOT fair. I have a red and sore nose. Bah.

Spot, gosh I think you've got me confused with one of those mums who joins the PTA or the board of governers. I didn't want to help out today, I couldn't understand the letter that was sent home about the sports day & instead of approaching one of the others mums to explain it I asked the teacher where is was & if I could come & watch as I thought it would be nice for DS1 to have DS2 & I there. She said it wasn't really possible but then her eyes lit up & she said I could be a helper. Luckily because I don't speak Dutch all I could do was keep an eye out for any runners and tidy up the games, after each group. The Dutch parents actually had a group of kids each and had to take them through each activity. Most looked quite exhausted. I do say hello to most mums but only really chat to one who is phillipino and really lovely. I should really make more effort, DH has a good old gas bag when he drops DS1 off. I'm not great at being social with other mums at the best of times. I've got my little Aussie mates now who are all good value and I'm picking up the odd dutch friend here & there.

Lightening I went to a homebirth support group in Nottingham once which was down right scary and some women were a bit intimidating. I met one lovely French lady who had a CS, then a HBAC and was training to be a MW, but the others were a bit much. A lady who was due a few weeks after the meeting was talking about how she hoped for a HB but was keeping an open mind and was flexible and they all pounced on her. I was actually there at my MW's invitation to tell my birth story but my MW got called away and I just sat there keeping my mouth shut. Those women weren't interested in hearing my nice story they just wanted to get angry & beat their chests. I do feel a lot of choice has been taken from women & if a women really doesn't want a canula well maybe that should be respected but by the same token if a women is fine about having a canula that should be respected by the crazies pro natural birth ladies. Yes Lady your detailed story does make me squirm a bit but that is only because you told it in detail. I could skim over mine & it would sound lovely, or I could tell you the gritty details of what my anus looked like and it wouldn't be so nice. I do also agree CS make nice birth stories. One of the loveliest birth stories I've ever read was Verso's, it was really beautiful.

Gosh I do go on, I've only just put DS2 to sleep DH is home & making dinner hooray!!! He also bought home chocolate, a Jersey tea towel , shortbread, UK magazines & 2 big bottles of Pimms!!!!

Jolly, I snorted out loud at your comment. Then I imagined Summer snorting too and having a difficult conversation with her DH: 'Yes dear, we were talking about hats'.

I also chuckled at Veggie handing her DH vouchers fir sugar and JJ for ironing... only I really hate ironing. Sorry to miss you yesterday JJ, did you have a good afternoon? I rushed for my train only to discover that I'd be too late to help DH collect the boys anyway ( he has knackered his back. From riding his bike, I hasten to add). I couldn't believe it took nigh on an hour and s half to get from Ipswich to Cambridge.

Aw Veg, I am really sorry, I didn't mean to gross you out. I thought it was quite tame, what I said, I didn't realise There is a thread at the mo with some bird wanting to know what to do with the placenta she has had in the freezer for a year. Now I DO find that icky.

evening ladies
JB when when when do you want dc2? How soon is soon? A year's contract is not that long...a few months to conceive then 9 months pregga - it could all work out rather nicely
Spot What everyone has said makes so much sense. Just one extra thought - personally I find when my mood is lower, my interest in affection and sex is significantly lower. It's very normal in depression. How is your mood? Did you manage to get a referral for counselling? I don't want to sound like the voice of doom, or to be dramatic, but do keep an eye on yourself because you had a degree of PND so are at a little greater risk of getting antenatal depression or PND again. I don't say that to worry you because you may well be fine, and there are enough 'reasons' for your to be struggling at present, but just keep it in the back of your mind and don't be scared to ask your GP for help if you mood stays lower.
You are all so adventurous and healthy with your eating - I've never heard of some of the things you all eat! I feel if you came to stay with me you'd all be dead within a week from lack of nutrients!
katie you have my sympathy on the BJ thing. It's a rare occurrence here too. And actually DH likes to do oral stuff on me and I can't stand it. I've told him I don't like it but for some reason he still tries every now and then. It makes me instantly tense and ruins the moment for me, but I don't know if I can tell him AGAIN! Surely if that's not nice for me it can't be nice for him? Or do men get pleasure from doing that?
Anyway. Change of subject!
We had an amusing moment with L this week. Her school had a non-uniform day and they and they were all asked to wear a particular colour as they were reenacting the World Cup opening ceremony. Anyway, L was asked to wear green and be Slovenia. We thought we'd look up some pics on the interweb to show her what she should look like and to have a look at Slovenian people. L looked a bit puzzled and it turned out she'd been picturing Sylvanian Families
OOh and there's been some drama on my road...our neighbour's quite scary dog got out and killed another neighbour's guinea pig and rabbit I was talking to the dog's owner today and apparently the dog has already killed guinea pigs and rabbits of 2 other families on the street! Anyway she has found the dog a new home (phew!) but now there is tension between her and the pet-victims' families. Eek. The rabbit's owner used to take the dog owner's child to school but has said she won't take her any more! It's like Eastenders

and veggie's thief has struck here too...my wheelie bin vanished today! Perhaps it's being used to transport dead pets?
Is anyone else dying of hayfever today? I thought I was getting off lightly this year but today has been awful. veggie (or those with GP DHs!) would it be very stupid of me to take citirizine AND loratadine? One on its own is doing nothing!
Oh and I seem to find one of the Uraguay players rather handsome

Oh not sure on that one. I would say ask your pharmacist. I don't know much about hayfever meds. Not all make you sleepy these days but I'm not willing to say yay or nay.

Forgot to add my 2 cents worth on the BJ ishoo. I'm not a massive fan of them but I don't mind giving, sometimes I quite like it alot, I know he likes it. He def likes giving them, which is fine by me. However, if he didn't I would def not make him so by that line of thinking it seems reasonable for you not to have to Katie.

Oh don't worry Lady, the point I was making with my extended ramble was...gosh I can't remember, I think I was trying to say that makes me squirm but I'm sure the finer points of my pleasant birth would make your toes curl.

Wow that's all a bit messy with the bunny killer Trace. We had a very sweet Dog called mac, hang on you know about him from the Hamster tales. Well as you know his body count was quite high, but he was a sweet dog. I feel sorry for everyone involved and I hope peace prevails soon.

Oh you wouldn't believe it, someone stole my sad face picture!!!!! Bloody cheek! The next roses that come out I'm gonna pick straight away. Their vaginasrosebuds at the moment.

DS1 got his new scooter today, it's the next one up of the micro with a knob thing for a handle. He loves it and was carving up the path today. It means now that the old micro scooter is now officially DS2's and he is so chuffed.

Violin class today was good. The teacher is lovely and the boys that were in the class today were a bit tired and not very motivated, but you could see how she just worked with whatever interest she could muster out of them. The other great thing is that the mums learn as well! She said that she has a class every now & then just for the mums to make sure they are keeping up then we do the normal class with the kids. The idea is the child learns with & from the mum. Brilliant!!!

Oh & Lady that is a bit cheeky to reduce the covered days to 2, I thought the NHS protocol was 3 days (though our wonder girls didn't need that), so it seems that that's what should be covered. To increase your chances of feeling up to leaving early get yourself up out of bed on the afternoon of the CS even if it's just to walk around the bed. You wouldn't have had a chance to do that last time due to the pain mess up. I have to say, I know they are good but it's a bit cheeky they charged you for the 4th day considering it was their mess up with the spinal.

Sorry no. 3 but just wanted to say Mom are you there?

Hey everyone, I was v excited to log on and see the 'is she, isn't she in labour' drama and then was v amused to see it was just the dongle misbehaving! (I'd never thought of dongle's as sounding rude before, but now everytime its mentioned I positively blush!)

So continuing on the dirty talk ... I'm like Trace and not a fan of recieving oral, strange as I used to love it. I dont' enjoying giving a BJ on a physical level, but emotionally I do enjoy making DH happy (but not too often) so am more willing to give these days (and in fact, a BJ seems to be my default substitute when I'm really not in the mood )

Spot I'm sorry to hear you're down. Isn't your scan soon? That will mark the start of trimester 2 and hopefully feeling better

Jolly I was thinking along the same lines as Trace, about a year contract being good timing to start to think about number 2

LadyT the pearl barley risotto sounds yummy, I love risotto. Do you make it in the same way as with rice? I had a delicious tea last night - pasta, with prawns and chilli - stir fry onion, garlic and chilli while the prawns are cooking, then stir in a few chopped tomatoes (and a spoonful of vodka, if you fancy it) and then the prawns - and stir the cooked pasta into the sauce. I'm not hot on low and high GI, but if you use wholewheat pasta, that should be ok, maybe?

Ok, I'm supposed to be writing a press release for a charity ball I'm helping to organise, so won't do my usual epic post. But lots of love to anyone I've missed. Except Veggie's rose thief, who I hope has lots of thorn pricks in his fingers (oh and at the rosebud fannies - I've not heard that one since Dec 08!)

x

x post Veg - I've been wondering about Mom too. Is anyone FB friends with her? Any news on there?

Yeah, I've been worrying about MoM. But keep figuring she is taking a break for obvious reasons. MoM, if you're reading I do hope you feel you can come back when you are ready.

Yes, they are flipping cheeky, knocking a night off the package. I couldn't have contemplated moving on the day of the op last time, and the state I was in they didn't expect me to But I am confident it will be different this time. It would be rotten luck for the epi to fail twice - NOT that I am tempting fate I cannot BELIEVE someone stole your sad face, by the way!

Trace, I am sorry for the people with the dead pets but also for the people with the dog. What a sad story...but best that the doggie is elsewhere. I'm with L - I think Sylvanian Families are more exciting than random Slovenians

Now, do I do some work because I haven't got enough done today, as the guilt tends to get overwhelming as we near bedtime, or do I just go to bed with my book? I know it should be the latter. Either way, night all.

X-posted our ZJ, will tell you that recipe another time. Good luck with the press release....

Goodmorning ladies. Kiwi how are you feeling this morning? Still streaming. We've got Nihao Kai lan on the tele. I try to kid myself that it's educational for DS2, esp as it's in Dutch . DH doesn't like it as not all the little animals pronounce the tones properly, hey ho, who cares, I get my coffee in peace.

DS2 has his little music class this morning so I'm chilling out until then. I'm feeling a bit fluey but really want to do a bit of a wander up that cool shopping street, mainly to buy underwear for DS1 but that's beside the point. We also need to find him something to wear for the wedding, & yes Jam it looks like he will be going as a pirate. The bride told me she has ordered crowns for all the kids so I tried to convince DS1 to dress as a king or prince but no he has his heart set on a pirate costume. So he is the Pirate King then.

Lady I meant to say last night, when I used to have trouble getting quinoa I used to order it online. I can't remember which company I ordered it through but they were very good. I 'll see if I can remember but if you google you may find something. Can you get tesco delivery out there (sorry I realise that makes you sound like in the sticks I didn't mean that), can that help supplement your evil 'local shop'.