Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

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Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Hello I have read back on posts but was just popping on to see if Syb had been on. Syb if your lurking I hope your ok, I'm thinking of you.

I also saw the name Georgia, if any of the clackerers are thinking of that name it gets a Veggie tick. I have a lovely dear friend with that name and even though it's a female version of a male name, I still love it. Also isn't Georgia near Jordan? Geographically I mean.

Right gotta go.

My gut reaction, Rubes, is that the name Georgia is absolutely gorgeous. It makes me think of a real southern belle. However, I haven't a clue as to how popular it is but I feel as if it is quite popular, which would put me off slightly. However, not everyone is bothered by this. Also, unless you actually study the lists, it is easy to have a wrongly skewed perception about the popularity of names.

Oh, Avo, I am sorry for CD. I do know about that book. But I also know a lot of it is taken from his blog and he is quite wary about discussing romantic stuff on there. I bet if she called him up, he would reassure her. I have to speak to her today (we have missed each other every day for about five days!) but obviously I won't mention it. My other fling was with a right dickhead who is like that cockney monkey actor Danny Dyer. I don't know what I was thinking of. Anyway, he took it all very seriously and got all weird and obsessed and it was all rather a downer. He is quite a lot younger than me - twentysomething.

Jeepers, Kiwi, I do hope you feel better soon. That sounds really grim.

Ooh, must go - DD is wailing and DP is on the blower.

Right, back briefly. And Avo, the other thing with regard to O's godfather is that I am amazed at his timing for that book as his current girlfriend, who is now living with him, is a little insecure and I think the whole thing will upset her dreadfully. But he's not really one for advice, mine or anyone else's!

Veg, I meant to say I thought it was so incredibly sweet of your DS2 to go shopping with you with no pushchair. Wow! Needless to say I cannot imagine such an eventuality. I hope your DS1 has fun today

I'm not surprised you tried to get your DH to stay home, DaisyD - you can't beat a paddling pool! Oh, and Zoe, no recommendations on swings from me, sorry darling. Don't know if anyone else has some.

I do feel better for having told my folks about the new arrival. I'm just not good at that stuff. My Mum is so gracious, and she is always on my side whatever I do. I haven't a hope of being as restrained as she is with my daughters. She never interferes, but yet will back me in anything.

Have a nice bbq, Beans. Lovely day for it! Poor Kiwi, I hope you feel well enough for some fresh air later.

Oh thanks everyone... It's a hot contender I just ran it past my family and they all liked the name too. Avo DH said the same thing re: the state etc but has come around a little when i said 'but the State of Georgia was named after King George does that help' and seems to like it more now but not sure if that is why!
Right had a lovely brunch outside in the glorious weather!! Now I'm off to get ready for work that should be illegal when it gets above 22 degree's in England

LadyT - I just read back my last post and realise it suggests CD thinks the book character might be her. Furthermore that suggests she is into porn. Just to be clear she knows it's not her. I am mortified that I speared to be sharing intimate details of her sexual predalictions online. I would never do that. What I was trying to convey in my post is that she doesn't know whether to tell her mum that it's not her or just leave it and hope her mum doesn't read that bit of the book. Gah, I am bad at writing. Am jealous of all you journo types.

Kiwi, Rubes hope you are feeling better.

Re NCT we did the classes when preg with DS1 as we wanted to meet other new mums and dads. Sadly for us our groupl did not gel and we are now only in touch with 2 othere couples that we see every few months. But with DS2 I did an NCT refresher as I knew noone having just moved to the wilds of Essex and the girls I met there are fab and we all get on really well. Nights out sans children and days out avec children.

God my flippin skin is driving me round the bend. Anti-hisitmain is doing nothing. Am covered in benedryl gel as well to try and help it. But is seems to be coming elswhere as well all over my feet. Gaaahh I cannot have this I love the Summer I will not have it ruined by stupid skin. DO you think if I go to the Docs she will be able to give me something stronger than over the counter anitihisitmin?

Have caught up I think. Jam poor you. I have to say I'm not sure about whether you can get stronger antihistamines from the GP, I think it might be worth going to them. Skin things are notoriously hard to sort out it may be that you need some diprobase or emolient to help calm it down and my some steriodal cream, or even oral steroids if it's really bad. I do feel for you, itchy inflammed skin drives me mental, truely, I think people with skin problems should flagged up as a mental health risk.

Rubs, that's so true what your workmate said about you feeling bad either way. The other thing I as thinking is, touchwood but if there happen to be any complications that cause you to be in hospital longer you don't want to be worrying about what to do with your DB when he arrives. Plus again this is also your DHs time with your new DD he only has 2 weeks off remember. As my DH says it's a no brainer.

Avo & Lady I love your conversations. You sound like your up with the A listers. Makes me feel like I'm cool by association, rather than just a Den Haag expat housewife.

Kiwi your DD is so sweet doing her faceplant. Is that photo of her on FB post faceplant? DS2 went the whole day without a feed. I actually tried to feed him to get him off to sleep at the amusement park as we didn't have a pushchair, and planned to feed him on a couch in a cafe off to sleep. But he wasn't interested. He ended up passing out in the backpack.

We had brilliant day, awesome weather, and both boys just had the best time. It's a great place in that it has a huge range of rides and play areas to suit all ages. DS1 and I went on the water log flume type ride which was brilliant but I screamed hysterically and we got quite wet. We went on loads of stuff and DS2 went on a few rides as well including this baby carousel thing which he just loved. I'm quite shattered it's about 12 km away which I know doesn't sound far but i had both boys on my bike so it took an hour each way. But we went through some beautiful countryside. The place we went to is in a town called Wassenar and it's where a lot of the diplomats & rich expats live so lots of beautiful big houses.

That sounds like a lovely day Veggie. Your amazing biking that far with two kids.

Can I have a vent/cry/moan? DD2 has had one of her bad days. To be fair they are getting fewer and further between but when they hit she is impossible. She tantrums, whines and clings all day. Well this afternoon we went to some friends for a BBQ. They are good friends (from NCT!) and me and the wife are very honest with each other. Anyway today there was another couple there with their kid. DD2 was grizzling and crying and I spent must of the afternoon removed from the adults trying to distract her. It was hot and I have also hurt my shoulder so was getting increasingly irritable with my situation. Everyone else was on the Pimms and wine and having a great time. Eventually DD2 had one melt down too many for me and my friend said "maybe it's time for calpol" and I quipped "maybe it's time for foster care". Now clearly I was joking, in bad taste I know, and cruel but I was just trying to be humerous about the situation. Anyway the woman from the other couple picked me up on it and said I shouldn't talk to my kids like that and I would psychologically damage them and no wonderDD2 was upset if I said things like that.

I feel awful. I am not proud of what I said but it was an off the cuff remark made to a friend after a very trying day. Yes DD2 probably heard but she has no idea what foster care means. I just feel like an awful mother and clearly others feel I am too. Sometimes I fail to live up to even my own expectations and it's horrible.

avo you are being much too hard on yourself - I think that woman should have shut up, what a terrible and stupid thing to say. god I'm always telling DD when she has days like that that I'll sell her on eBay/ send her to boarding school!! They don't understand and you need to vent. What they do understand is mummy being there and playig with them, so actions speak far louder than words. My sympathies though, I'm all too familiar w days like that though like yours they are - touch wood - getting less frequent.

Veggie the fb photo was actually a second rather unscheduled nap of the day! Both taken on my bed rather precariously balanced near the edge..! Your day sounds lovely - I wish there was something like that near here to take kids too. I often think other European countries have far better child-friendly arrangements than the UK. Certainly Germany anyway, and by the sound of it Tulipland too!

Feeling a bit better today, fabulous in-laws took L to the park and she loved it! Howled a bit when I waved bye bye from the front door but was very happy with them "walking" (holding Grannys hand) round and scoffing their cake. My parents came round later an my dad promplty fell asleep on the sofa. They are useless!! My mum to be fair is good at offering to help w cleaning or tidying or shopping, I guess she's just not that confident around small children. Strange having had two but there you go...

AVo ignore ignore . Honestly if I had a penny for everytime I have said something along those lines I would be well on my way to being a millionaire. I cant stand smug mothers like that. grr.

Kiwi you sound a bit better. Glad DD had a lovely day with GP.

Veggie I love that photo of DS2.

Well I think I need to ring the unclean bell. I think DS1 has chicken pox. He had a few spots which I thought were midgy bites on his back this arvo then he spent the afternoon in and out the paddling pool and sand pit. So chucked them in the shower after tea and when he came out noticed more spots appearing. He has a rather nasty one on his little balls whcih is all blistered. It is his 3rd b-day party on Sunday think we will have to postpone. Oh and I am know covered in the rash have googled think its hives. I look most attractive.

Lovely Avo you poor thing. I know that horrible feeling when they are being mental and your missing out on fun stuff. I also know the feeling when other peoples kids are going mental and at those times all I ever feel is grateful that it's not mine doing it this time. Usually people who say that sort of thing don't have kids. We had a guy at work (no kids) in our office who used to tell us stop refering to our kids as monkeys, he felt it was derogetory to them and would damage them. Sweetie, you are completely normal, you aren't damaging them (at least I hope not, if you are I am too). My mum worked in welfare and when she was really angry with us she used to tell us she knew the system and would put us up for fostering but first we'd go to a childrens home. I'm not psychologically damaged, we knew she was just really angry and was just saying it. It was a sign we'd pushed her too far so we usually chilled after that. Oh and DS1's first full sentence was 'your driving me mad!'

Oh and Avo DS2 has been much better lately but still has these days when, aaarrgghhh I just don't know how to settle him. I think our children have some evil connection.

Jam he might be crusted over by next Sunday. The latest thing is 5 days of spots then they are not contagious but most people prefer crusted over. Sorry about your hives, do you think that's what that rash is then.

Spot I meant to say before, DS1 had terrible teething and DS2 does now too. However, both their boy cousins have had no teething pain. My BIL is a dentist and he said DS1 had bad teething because he has a small mouth so not much room or something.

Avo, I am very cross on your behalf about that woman. I wish I'd been there to leap cuttingly to your defence. She has had a sense of humour bypass, not to say an empathy bypass. I thought everybody said that stuff in jest, to their DPs or whatever? DD has been a grump today, and I fully understand as she was hot and bothered and tired but I remarked quite jovially to DP that she was a grumpy little fucker who was trying to ruin her parents' lives. Now, that looks awful written down, but I was cuddling her at the time and laughing to DP. I didn't mean it for a second. I wouldn't say it in front of a child who could understand. What IS it with people? If I'd been at a bbq and someone had said that in my earshot when they were having a trying time, even if they weren't a friend I'd have patted their arm and passed them a drink! Please, please, please don't give it a second's thought! And franchement, your friend ought to have told the woman to lighten to heck up.

Kiwi, I am glad you have perked up a bit. You might find your folks come into their own when your DD is older. Like you say, people can get a bit fazed by very little kids, even if they are close relatives or grandparents. My eldest nephew is 18 in a few weeks, and I am afraid when he was my DD's age, I used to virtually hold him with tongs and wasn't at all understanding. Even my Mum is so much more hands on with my DD than she ever was with my sister's kids.

Veggie, your day sounds lovely. Big respect to you for pedalling all that way with two kiddies on your bike. I honestly don't know how you do it, you amaze me.

Jam, your skin sounds so aggravating - must be horrid in this weather. Deffo try the docs. Aloe Vera gel is very cooling, you can get it from Holland & Barrett and probably other places too, and it's gentle too. Oh and your poor DS1 - chicken pox on the balls must be flippin' awful.

Well, I am not in London yet, have to get an early train tomorrow. We had our lunch and a long walk with friends, and DD was fed up by the end of it and it just wasn't fair to schlep her into London and then all over to Battersea. I did really need to go as it was against a team of writers and performers I knew, but there we are, it wouldn't have been fair.

Is the wetlands centre off? Like I say, I will be done at the scan about 12 and need to be back to Paddington by 2.30, but the rest of the time I am loose in London.

This is terrible Lady but I had a fit of giggles at your calling DD a grumpy Fucker, why is it I find swear words so funny. I remember cuddling and bouncing DS1 up and down once trying to settle him when he was sad & grumpy and saying to him in a soothing mummy voice 'your just being a little shit, aren't you, yes you are, yes you are a little shit, aren't you...' and on and on like that. Yes it's a terrible thing to say to a child bit then being screamed at for no apparent reason, or even when there is an apparent reason isn't much chop either.

Hello, I'm officially on leave how horrible going off to work on such a lovely day. Dh took ds out on the bike - see FB!

Avo, what a stupid woman - wish i'd have been there too - I'm not one to mince my words and would have set her straight in a heartbeat! I hope she is not a friend of any description! AS IF dd2 would have a clue what you had said!! That's so ridiculous it's not even funny - we've all said similar if not worse! @ Lady's comment too!!

Veggie - totally agree with you and your dh's thoughts - I didn't even think of that but you are absolutely right. There is a good chance I'll be in 2 nights this time not one and not to mention if there are any set backs (knock on wood also) and I / or dd have to stay in longer... That's such a good point. Still nothing from them, but the longer that continue's the more I'm just getting annoyed therefore don't feel sad about it iyswim. I think they will shortly cross the line to being totally rude if I don't hear something. I have a feeling db is very embarrassed about the whole thing tbh but that still doesn't mean he can expect it to blow over (if that is in fact what he is expecting from his silence)
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better so that the main thing.

Kiwi, glad you're pil's were star's and your mum was a t least helpful in some capacity! So so so sounding like mine - My mum would clean and do laundry for ever at my house (she has a strange obsession with laundry and emptying dishwashers but I'd have to prompt for even a nappy change. oh well at least it's something....
I had forgotten again (about the Wetlands)Is it on? tbh I can go -the only reason I'd be worried about going is ds has been so so hard to manage unless there is an enclosed area recently. he is so much better at people's houses etc. where I don't have to chase him and then try and stop him screaming cause he wants to run off. I know you shouldn't not do these things, and I should be teaching him, (which we are) but after a recent massive scene at Costa which I 'rode out' albeit very embarrassed, I'm not sure I can handle two in one week! Is it still on, and is there any kind of enclosure, or is anyone meeting at anyone's house at all? I'd def be up for that, but doesn't sound like it's happening?

Sorry Rubes, my flat in London is even tinier than the one here, so can't offer to entertain! But I do promise when we move, you can come and stay with DS and DD and make as much racket as you like. And anyone else is welcome too, of course, should they find themselves in need of Cotswolds air. I've just seen the weather and it's going to be even more scorchio tomorrow, so maybe too hot to be out and about with littlies anyway.

I suppose I am going to have to knock the swearing on the head, sooner or later. Both DP and I are a little, er, free in that department but I never swear in front of my parents, people who don't like it or don't swear themselves, and in formal situations. I will feel the loss of the word fuckwit particularly keenly.

I know what you mean Lady - I've been swearing like a truck (lorry) driver recently!! It's mainly since I am a grumpy cow when pregnant
Right, I'm knackered, and it's really hot and I need a shower then bed.... then I bet I can't sleep.... ho hum

DS2 just had a major mania. Seriously Avo our no.2s are in cohouts(sp). He woke for his latenight snack. He still wakes for just the amount he has is decreasing. But tonight he drank loads, I think he is catching up from the day. He went back to sleep but was restless then suddenly woke and was really upset, I thought it could bebhis teeth as his molars are coming through so gave him neurofen but couldn't find his remedies. Then I took him back to bed but he went crazy and wanted to get up and go to the livingroom. I closed the bedroom door but he just stood at it screaming in his crazy guinea pig squeal. I was in the room with him but DH is working on a big proposal for work so he is in the livingroom. Finally I got him to settle beside me and I thought I'd settle him with milk but he bit me. So I just took him off and cuddled and sang to him. Cheeky monkey tried to go on the boob again, but he knows I have a one bite and your off policy, so he cried for ages and then finally has just now fallen asleep. Poor little thing I think it's teeth I really do and that would explain the bite, but he knows if he bites the nips there are consequences. Man, that boy can scream.

Rubs I'm glad you feeling better about your decision but sorry you have to contend with your family like this.

Lady I have a terrible mouth, but in my line of work you get used to holding back the curse words. You'll stop eventually, esp when DD starts swearing at you. Apparently I swear a lot while I drive but I'm completely unaware of it, DH keeps having to tell me to watch my language while driving with the boys.

Right time for bed. Night.

Avo and Veggie I think are three are all cut from the same, grumpy and demanding, cloth! I wonder if they are all improving a bit because they are able to communicate their needs a bit more? DD has learned the sign language for milk (and uses it approx 4552 times a day) and to point to her mouth when she's hungry and they seem to help for a start.

And talking of emotionally scarring your children with language (or not) we still call her 'The Beast'.

Veggie i think I might copy your one bite and you are out policy. DD does it sometimes, mainly when she's just fed loads so it's probably playful but still, I want her to learn that it's not on! God I wish she'd go a day without feeding mind, she is such a boob monster, it's pretty much at LEAsT every hour at home when she's not distracted. I despair of her ever weaning!

Feeling better but had horrible night, sore throat still really bad so I hadn't eaten anything at all today and at 2am I though I was actually going to faint while lying down, which would have been a first. Forces myself to eat a pear (ow! Like swallowig razor blades!) which did help but have barely slept thanks to DH snoring! Poor thing has a sore throat too and has aranged today off to look after DD so I felt a bit mean complaining.

Gosh, was a busy day yesterday. Avo - that woman sounds AWFUL! I can't believe someone would react like that - it actually made me laugh outloud, your comment - v funny! And I totally understand your reasoning.

I finally had a go at DH last night when DD still wasn't asleep at 9.30pm, despite having been put down to sleep, knackered at 7. When she was crying, he kept going in and playing with her, rather than just lying her back down and leaving again. So now, she clearly thinks that if she's not asleep and making a noise, it's great fun, so better not to go to sleep. He does this the WHOLE time and she's gone from being brilliant at going to sleep to being awake for hours. I was trying to be reasonable with him and point out that actually bedtime should be calm and I've been guilty of doing the same as him, but she needs more than 9 hours sleep a night as she always gets up at 7, whatever time she goes to sleep. And he was furious with me. Silly arse. I think he understood in the end.
But then he turned round and told me that when he's playing with DD at weekends, he finds it really annoying when I join in as it's his time with her. Now, am I being over-sensitive to think that's quite cruel? I am a big believer in parenting together, but he seems incapable. PLUS I'd have a bit more sympathy with him if, when I went away for the weekend, which I've done once and am doing again in a couple of weeks, he didn't go straight to his parents' house and palm DD off on his mother while he plays tennis or golf with his dad. Doesn't really ring true then, his chat with me. I am probably being over-sensitive, but it pissed me off.

We had a lovely BBQ yesterday, although was quite knackered before it started because DH decided he wanted to make a yoghurt dressing, so I took DD to the local shop in her trike to get some yoghurt. It was off, unfortunately, so he had a huff and I went to get some more yoghurt, but from Sainsburys. I don't know why I pander to his moods. Honestly. Then he wanted some of the avacado I was putting into the salad and so I left him a mouthful in the bottom of the avacado and he was furious because there wasn't enough. I mean, seriously. So I called him a spoilt brat. You can guess how well that went down! HAHAHAH! I'm still glad I said it. Well done me! Silly tit.

Anyway, he was trying to get me to be friendly this morning to him, but I am not going to be. He's hurt me quite a lot with his chat about me being annoying. He's gone to work now, so am getting on with everything!

I'm afraid, in this heat, I really can't picture myself going to Wetlands Centre with my big belly - all I can do to drag myself to the shops! I'm so sorry.

Lady - if you're at a loss of what to do, you're MORE than welcome to pop down here for a cup of tea or some lunch and a natter - and I've got the paddling pool up in the postage stamp garden if you want to pop DD in it?

Sorry for me me me rant. Big apologies. I always whine about DH on here. He is a lovely guy really, just acts like a twat at times. Most men do, I guess.

PS Lady - I'm near Clapham Junction station. x

And if anyone else fancies coming over, they are, of course, more than welcome! I'm having a bit of a lazy day !

avo I am both and at what that silly mare of a woman said to you. My lord if I'd have been there I'd have told her what a complete load of bollocks she was spouting. Ignore - we are right and she is nuts!

beans Your DH is acting like a nob (again) - is he a distant relative of my DH by any chance? Seriously, he doesn't want you to play with him and DD. Sounds like he needs a good slap and sort his head out. I think DD might find it strange as she grows up is she never did anything with mummy AND daddy. And FWIW my DH does the whole take the DC's to the GP's thing. He is not happy that my parents are away this weekend when I am on my hen do. He will have to deal with his children all on his own

kiwi Glad your a little better, although your recovery seems to be slow. Have a nice easy day, sofa and trash TV I think!

Can I echo what everyone else said, Avo, (whenever I write that I hear an aussie voice in my head saying "afternoon"!). I feel so angry on your behalf, as it is so clearly she who is in the wrong. I also think your other friends should have said something. What mother hasn't wanted a family overseas to adopt her child, etc, etc?

Beans, I fear the palming kids off on GPs is fairly common, but your DH was way out of line commenting about you playing with DD. It's important for her to see you all interacting. He must feel jealous of your bond with her or something, but either way it's not fair on you.

Kiwi, glad you've got some time to recover today, poor you though. And is DD still pulling her 5.30am starts? T has been up with teeth a lot in the night and then up for the day at 6, so I am going to go with the drug best foil window motif a la Jam tonight and see where we get.

Happy mat leave, Rubena . T sounds just like your DS in the cutting and running dept. I now won't go anywhere to meet friends that's not enclosed. I can't even go to the playground as he makes a run for it, opens the gate and that's it - off to find the nearest car to run under.

I'm sure I asked this before but can anyone recommend a challenging prenatal yoga DVD? I'm hoping that if I have one it'll give me the incentive to get off my fat arse and stop eating sweeties.

Hello,
Yes Spot they do sound alike! We shall definitely have to get together at some type of play area with a 10 foot walled garden so we can relax and get cheerful! Perhaps a BBQ at mine isn't such a bad idea - Is it too far for you to come if I arranged one at some point over Summer?

Beans - bummer I'd have come over, but have now planned to meet dh as we have some stuff to do. You are only about 40 mins from me so if there is any parking nearby and you are ever having another lazy at home day, I'd love to pop over with Houdini ds Your dh sounds like he's really up and down - sometimes he sounds like he's the perfect dh ie sending you off to the spa weekend etc very thoughtful, and other times he seems to say and do things that make him out the very opposite?

ds got up an hour earlier than normal today. Then he was getting stroppy and I was upstairs with him when he went into his bedroom and got into bed !! I swear if he could talk he would have said "I'm tired close the door on your way out mum" If this continues, I won't believe our luck and I will be convinced baby #2 will be a nightmare sleeper!! However that said - he's probably a good sleeper as he's total meltdown, running off everywhere man when out and about and that's probably why he is so knackered all the time!