AUG 08 - Here we go again and again and again...

[TwilightSurfer]

Seriously!

thanks oops Panic is exactly right. I just have a cold feeling. Keep thinking 'I can't do this' Verge of tears feeling almost.
It's so silly.

Yes - I was so shocked to actually be PG that it left me cold. I cried whenever I was alone and when I played games with DD that I knew would be disrupted by another person. I was scared I could never love anyone as much as I love her and if I loved the new baby would I love her less? It took alot to get my head straight but once I saw her on the scan at 14weeks after a bleed I realised she was here to stay and she was ours and if anyone tried to take her away I would be devestated. It is perfectly normal - I can't say DH understood as he was dealing with his own issues (how do we afford it, how can I make enough money to keep us in the manner we were accustomed) so I dealt with it mostly alone and with the support of these lovely ladies. Please do come and let it out here or just mail me - you have my addy.

Q all new roads are met with some sense of anxiety. Take a moment to look around you. Families with more that one child are EVERYWHERE. It's all good.

That said, anyone want a gripey one? She's potty trained but refuses to clean her room.

QOD I had the complete heebie-jeebies when I was first pregnant with ds2, total panic - but it will be fine and as oops says it settles, you start seeing the other child from the pov of the new sibling, the benefits they will bring to one another, etc. Of course it's busier, you have to be more organised, you have to be very determined in maintaining an oxygen supply to your relationship with your dh/p, but it will be fine, and better, and more fun!

Perfectly normal QoD, my wobbles came after O was born and I think I was actually mourning the change in my relationship with ds1. It made me sob when O was home for his first night and as I tucked ds1 into bed he said "promise me you'll never forget I'm your little boy mummy?" [boo hoo hoo emoticon]. I said several times "what have I done to ds1?" Didn't last long though and they get on so well, O adores his big bro and copies everything he does

even with my big (5yr2m) age gap and much much desperation for a 2nd baby i had the fear! i started a thread about it and had all the things said that oops has said to you.
Yes it is hard at first with 2 even with a big one who understands and can be reasoned with but all that fades into insignificance when you see the love and joy shared between your dc and you get to know the little person your baby becomes.
I remember thinking i had made a big mistake - it haunted me loads through the pg, but the 2 occasions when i though i had lost ds made me see that actually, he was mine and i needed him to come.
just go with it. cry if you need to, talk to us if you think dp will freak (oops is right - men deal with it diff) but mostly just remember what has made you want to ttc again and stick with that. You are going to get extra joy, extra love and extra happiness in about 8 months time

x post with everyone

thanks all
it's all of that, but also the money aspect as well. I'm massively overdrawn with the bank calling me every day and no way to pay it off, and obv being pregnant getting a job is looking even further away. I do wonder if we've made a mistake.

QOD it is not a mistake. honestly - so many people say that if they waited til they were solvent/right age/right place etc etc they would never have children. if your body thought it was right it was.

you could do some temping/anything at all during the pregnancy. any pennies you bring in are better than nothing......

take one step at a time. don't look too far ahead - you have no idea what is round the corner.

hugs

albs speaks the truth. There's nothing to stop you temping or even accepting a new f/t job if there's one on offer. Also, you might want to check out the forums on Moneysavingexpert.com for LOADS of in-the-know advice about ways of making extra pennies or saving the ones you've got. What those folk don't know about determination to get back in the black isn't worth knowing.

Good evening. Wow what a weekend you have been having! QoD many congratulations - sorry you are feeling worried just now but you have certainly called up the thread wisdom! We will all support you all the way.

Oops glad DH is looking after you. Hope you will be able to rest in the week too, with the co-operation of DH and both DDs!

CC I love how relaxed you sound about the possibility of no3 or no no3!

Dizzy my childhood/teenage bedroom was the size you describe, extra slim bed + wardrobe + just enough room to stand up (I have small feet ) Didn't bother me one bit, I crammed it full of junk, did my homework amidst chaos in the kitchen and everything else in bed - a habit which I retain to this day

Have had a massive spring clean this weekend - tomorrow will call estate agents and arrange valuation visits. This is on the critical path towards DC2 for us but we are dragging our feet as we love our little house where our little family started...

Q (that totally makes me think of a James Bond character) I am happy to help too. Feel free to poke me off here and I'll get you lined up with weekly money schedules that might help you see/find the light at the end of the tunnel. One week at a time I say!!

Thank you so much ladies.
Don't know if I've said before how fabulous you all are
Burst into tears on dp he's just puzzled why I'm all falling apart. Bless him. Some things he just doesn't get. Always hard cold logic with him (which suits me most of the time )
I think I got myself like this doing S's bath and started wondering how I would manage getting a newborn and a toddler bathed and ready for bed by myself.
Am a bit calmer now, although really want a cigarette and DP won't let me have one.

Gosh sorry about that.

QofD - each and every child is a blessing and regardless of what you're worried about it will all sort itself out - we're so fecked financially and goodness knows where we're going to put them all but we'll adore them all the same (maybe at different times/moments - but you get the gist!!) you'll be absolutely fine. As TS says thousands have done it before you and siblings are the greatest gift you can give your kids babies don't need bathed that often OR do it in the morning and Seb at night - solutions are everywhere! and NO FAGS!!!

Oops - kitty has dixie approval, on list as a MN here

Pert - how exciting re the move, please do remember to indulge us in the property porn!!

Buckets - sorry to hear night not as great as hoped

hots - re vino

evening all else, less eventful day at the work (thank feck) and home early because we actually had enough staff to take back some time owed

night all, here's hoping for a decent sleep all round

nn dizz.
Feckit S awake and howling.
Hope these blasted teeth pop through soon.

Why is it I can get done what doesn't need to be done NOW and I'm cloudy-brained about the stuff that needs to be completed this moment?

Oh wait...the internet might be to blame.

I don't know I try and have a weekend to unpack some boxes and look what happens! Congrats QoD. QoD weight loss was exactly how I ended up 'meeting' you lot in the first place. I posted a thread on Pregnancy as I was still losing weight at 16 weeks and had no morning sickness. It was I think largely down to giving up alcohol and also DH making sure I ate really healthily to the extent that he called me at work every lunchtime to check on what I was eating! Unfortunately it all went downhill after about 25 weeks when the need for magnums took over...!

Dizz thanks for bathing advice I too was wondering vicariously how that would be done. If DS ever manages to sleep through the night again then maybe DH and I might get round to ttc sooner rather than later as we're both shattered from rubbish sleep and spending our evenings opening endless boxes and putting together flat pack furniture (I love doing this so don't mind but yesterday had to do one with instructions in chinese characters which was a test to say the least). Can't imagine how you deal with the stuff at work everyday sure I couldn't. Didn't you promise us a list of names once you got past 12 weeks?!

Oops hope you and pea still hanging on in there - thanks we purchased Little Tykes one too at the weekend. DS had a bit of a melt-down in the shop as he wanted it immediately and we can't have it delivered till Wednesday.

Have now met most of new neighbours and they are all lovely. One lady introduced herself at the pool whilst we were having a swim with DS so I introduced DS as well and she said she'd already 'heard' all about him a bit worried that DS shrieking too much!

morning,

both dds have been up and about since 6 so have already made the mash for cottage pie ..

bbq went really well yesterday and dds had a ball.. dh wasn't in a great mood as they were my friends not his so hide for most of the time .. however didn't fuss/annoy me too much so better than i had expected.. still haven't had a proper chat and stepdaughter descending on us today so no chance for later..

hoping he makes more of an effort with his daughter as it normally ends up on me to entertain her.. he did say yesterday that he feels guilty not having a close bond with so maybe he is having some underlying issues with certain things in his life atm and as a result being a pita!!

anyway.. oops loving the name kitty!!

qod.. had massive wobbles over dd2 to as the others say, love both of them so much and wouldn't be without dd2 for a single second.. dds have discovered eachother and it is adorable to watch ..

glad you got home early dizz..

welldone for all your unpacking spring and hopefully you and your dh will recover your energeries soon ..

cc glad everything back in working order ..

right off to commence part two of cottage pie!!

Morning Loti - very productive with the cottage pie on already

Up at stupid o'clock with DD wriggling and then demanding 'cuppa milk, pleeease' which I refused and she threw a paddy but I had to let her get on with it - I am not starting that who milk in bed in the morning thing again. She can wait until breakfast like every other day for the last 4 months!

Managed an almost whole night sleep last night which was fantastic - off to MW at 9.30 to sort out my Birth Plan which states - have a baby, avoid a c-section, forceps etc unless absolutely necessary and will try any drugs once .

Going to wake Dh now as DD is nagging for him and the postman

CYTEEN Thinking of you today {{{HUGS}}}

mornin' oops and thanks for reminder..

thinking of you too cyteen xx

Morning all.

QoD Do you have a joint account or know where all DP's money goes? Does DP know how overdrawn you are? I just ask because he may have more than you realise and might be perfectly willing to pay a bit into your overdraft if you ask. Even though he is the one earning, you are doing everything else so it really does work out 50/50. He is just as dependent on you as you are on him - it's not a bad thing, it's just the way your team works right now.

I did have an amusing time on Saturday but the most amusing thing was watching childless women and the way they behave! Fascinating to study the games they play, the childish acts they put on, the unsubtle manipulation. All stuff that none of us mums have any time for and a bit watching a grown woman doing a cutesy baby act in front of men. Ended up blowing the £25 youth hostel booking to stay in friend's 4bed Docklands townhouse, worth it for my first sleep on a proper memory foam mattress LOL. And the ferry back from Docklands to Waterloo (pulls up just under the London Eye) was just brilliant, I LOVE London!

DH & I working on a song with the provisional chorus:

Oh my god she looks just like Shakira
But oh my god she talks just like Chris Rea.

Can anyone come up with some alternative lyrics to fit the metre please!

Buckets I meant to say yesterday, DS has developed quite an attachment to our uke. He's started carrying it around the house and strumming it Very cute.

morning all.
Sorry for the wobble last night
GB no don't have joint a/c. Know pretty much where all DP's money goes though. He knows about the overdraft, but says it's my fault it's got to this stage. He had offered a while back to pay in a certain amount each month to keep the bank happy (would have paid straight back to him) but I didn't check the rules of the overdraft, we never made that arrangement and the overdraft got discontinued by the bank.

Morning all sssssh I'm not here! Actually at work but girl I'm meeting has disappeared!

Sorry,haven't caught up to see all the great advice you've been giving qod. My 2p's worht is that we've really found DS has grown up so much over the last few weeks. He seems to have a better understanding about what's generally happening so Seb will get there soon and definitely by dec (I am right in remembering he's 4/5 weeks younger than DS aren't I?!)

Cyteen...be kind to yourself today and have a special cuddle with J. Perhaps you could go out somewhere nice for lunch together?