April 2010 - our little bundles are here!

[lineky]

Thought I'd start a Post-Natal thread as there are so many of us now sorry about the uninspired name.
Well I am slowly realising the sleepless nights thing is no myth - VERY tired!

Hope the christening goes well Nicnac & have a lovely time in Cornwall Bettymum.

We're off to Wales this afternoon to stay with my parents for a few days. It'll just be me & kids as DH has work. Looking forward to having someone else doing all the cooking!

Had a crappy day yesterday. Went shopping for new rugs & the two kids were taking it in turns to playup. DH and I were both ratty with each other all day. When we got home DS1 wouldn't eat his tea and I was already in such a bad mood, the situation escalated with me bawling at DS and refusing to let him leave the table until he'd eaten all his food (he's a really bad eater & DH had said earlier that he thinks I'm too soft on DS letting him get away with not finishing his food). DS screamed for about half hour until eventually calming down & eating the food! I let him have a story at bedtime but no telly after his bath, which DH thought was wrong - he wanted to send him straight to bed with no bath or story. Grrrrr I hate it when DH start getting at each other as it filters down to how we react to DS' behaviour. It only ever happens when both of us are really tired which seems to be more often at the mo with George still waking a couple of times a night :(

Aww, Zeeky..Bigggggg sympathy!! Today, dp told me it was over!!!
Last night, Jude started waking just as I was getting to sleep, I even went to bed at 10.15 to try and make sure I was able to get up early with the two of them this morning. I was so tired, he wouldn't settle back down, and after about the 12th time of climbing out of bed, I literally growled...honestly all I said was 'Grrrrrr'!! Not angry, grumpy or mad, just a verbal acknowledgement of me getting up...again...anyway that was it!! Up DP got and started ranting that I shouldn't have any more kids if I can't handle the lack of sleep, he took his head pillow (he can't bear outside noise so sleeps with a feather pillow to drown out the noise), and slept on the sofa. It actually didn't make me feel sad, I just brought Jude into bed with me, settled him and went to sleep
Woke up this morning, took the kids downstairs expecting him to go to bed, but he didn't,asked him if he was watching the footie with his dad and he was undecided. Everything was ok,but I figured he would go, so I bathed the kids, got the house cleaned and attempted to get myself ready for dinner at my mum's...anyway he then told me he wasn't going, but that was it..I knew he was in a grouch. He told me I was selfish because he was the only man he knew without friends that doesn't go out at the weekend, how I always seem to manage to stop him from going out, and how this had far bigger implications than just me being a control reak :( He told me he was leaving at xmas bla bla bla..I didn't know whether to take him serious or not, so took some stuff to my mum's just in case..arrived with a big smiley face and waited to see if he changed his mind
Everything's ok now, he apologised and I told him that whenever he goes out, he sits around leaving me to get everything done, therefore if he needed to be out by a certain time, help out! I don't think that's too much to ask...but then I wouldn't lol. I'm not a nappy change watcher, I don't do the it's your turn nudge at night, I'm the hands on mummy that I want to be, but honesly sometimes it does get me down that I go unnoticed.. having the house in order isn't important to him, it is to me, the kids having a rhythm to follow in the day is important to me, but I feel that means I should be expected to accept if it's my way that I want things doing, it's my job to do so..maybe it is (don't feel like you have to reply by the way mummies...I'm just airing my inner thoughts rather than argue lol xx)
I have absolutely no confidence in the outside world, I hate who I am, but live for my kids, if I had my way I'd hide away in my perefct lil house with no judgement from the outside..I fight this daily and force myself out there, maybe this is the real problem.
Maybe he's realised what I've known all along lol.
I better go, before I bore you all silly, I'm rambling!!!!
Hope the christening went well Nicnac xx

Princess you sound like you've had quite a weekend. Do you think that you need to talk to someone about how you feel? You said you have no confidence in the outside world and hate who you are. Are you depressed do you think? I hope that you feel better soon. Maybe you'll get some sleep soon and that will make you feel better too.

My dh finds crying difficult to deal with and I sometimes get annoyed with that too. When I say I've had to deal with ds all day he says that he understands but sometimes its just because he comes in from work when ds is tired and grumpy and so that is all he has heard. He hasn't had the nice bits in the day too. I never thought of that before.

My dh also doesn't do too much to get ready to go out and I get annoyed that I'm doing everything. However, I just need to ask and he would happily do it, it's just that sometimes you don't want to be asking them all the time you'd like them to think for themselves :). If I have to ask all the time I feel like I'm nagging whereas dh doesn't see it like that because he just doesn't seem to be able to see or think what needs to be done.

Oh princess, I hope that you are ok tonight. You don't sound like you get much support from your DP? (tell me if I'm wrong) You don't sound as though you are being unreasonable at all. I would expect my DH to get up if Eilidh was up alot during the night - sometimes my DH can settle Eilidh far better than me, mostly, I think, because she can smell my milk and wants to comfort suck all night long. TBH I rely on my DH to support me during difficult nights. We share Eilidh's care completely (he can't breastfeed though . Your not unreasonable to want support with the care of your children or even for a hand around the house. It his house too!

You sound as though your confidence is really low at the moment? Are you ok?

nicnac, hope you had a good day today at the christening.

stinkypnkyand nicnac, Eilidh has a really red neck from drooling. We have been trying to get rid of it for ages...have tred vaseline, sudocrem and brepanthin. Think that the brepanthin has been the most effective. One day it looks like it is healing, then the next it is red raw again even when we are putting lots of barrier cream on it... so if anyone has any tips?

zeeky and bettymum* enjoy your trips.

Oops x-posted with mistymoo

Totally understand what you mean about nagging - my DH says that I have to tell him what needs done in the house as otherwise he wouldn't know ...however, I feel bad for moaning as my DH is great in the house and with Eilidh. He is totally hands on in every way - cooking, washing, cleaning, nappy changing etc. I know that I am really fortunate.

If you feel that you are depressed princess do you have anyone in RL to talk to?

Oh Princess. I thought I'd had a bad day of it with DH but yours sounds worse. I'm a fulltime mum too which is what I've always wanted & am lucky enough to have a DH who supports this decision both financially & emotionally. However, as I'm the "primary carer" (as DH likes to call me when i'm implying that he doesn't help enough with the kids!) & at home all day, he expects me to do everything (washing, tidying, cooking, shopping, gardening, finances, bills etc). Thankfully we have a cleaner otherwise I'd be doing that too. He does work long hours, but when at home does very little. Since having George he has been trying get home a little earlier to help at bathtime, whereas previously DS1 was usually in bed by the time he came home. I can probably count on one hand the number of times he has changed either of the boys' nappies, and even then it is because I specifically asked him to. And he never gets up in the night (even after I've stopped breastfeeding). Part of this is of my own making though as I find it easier most of the time to just spread myself superthin and do it all myself rather than put up with the moaning & whinging I get if he does stuff. He's also made the comment about how we shouldn't have any more kids if I can't cope with the ones we've got, after I'd been telling him about the bad day I'd had!!

I really hope things are better for you now Princess. You always sound like you are doing an amazing job being mummy to your two. Men can be so inconsiderate sometimes.

I'm still off work just now but my DH is really supportive. At weekends he nearly always gets up with us during the night, even just to give me company. We do bathtime together every night and my DH usually gives Eilidh her massage before her bath so that he can spend some time with her before she goes to bed.If he is home he will nearly always change Eilidh's nappy. He says he does it because he likes doing things with her. I hear him singing to her and blowing raspberries on her tummy when he is changing her nappy

In the house my dh put on washings, fold washing, do dishes, he will sometimes cook dinner even during the week when he has been working. My DH also deals with all the bills etc. I should thank him more often for all that he does. Reading your posts makes me realise how lucky I am. I am going to go to bed and give my DH a big cuddle and kiss

Although, I also feel that we both decided to have Eilidh, we are both her parents and therefore we should both want to care for her? Maybe thats niaive of me?

zeeky and princess you both sound like you work really hard and that you are both great mums. I hope that you are both getting to relax tonight and that you get a decent sleep tonight (I consider 5 hours to be decent these days - how life changes when you have children! My DH and I were talking today about this. On a Sunday we used to moan that the church bells woke us up at 10.30am...by 10.30am now I have been up hours!!)

Eilidh is in her own room for the first time tonight (I know, I left it very long!) so I am a tad nervous about going to bed. We have a monitor but I like tojust look over at her cot to see that she is ok. I will be up and down all night!

Men are t*s!

Simple.

DH does very little, but he is sooo good in bed!

He does not work as he is doing a doctorate (and doesn't even work on that tbh) When I go back to work FULL TIME, he will have Boo 2 days a week, so will have to do something then. He is a good dad, and a fab hubbie really, but is very depressed at the moment, and I find it hard supporting him with two littlies to care for... and who looks after me?

harverina how was the first night then?

Hope you got some sleep Haverina & weren't lying awake wondering if Eilidh was ok in her own room .

George's appetite has suddenly gone through the roof since Friday. Before it was a battle to get him to eat half a bowl of food, now he's eating two bowls & have started him on breakfast too. I think his milk intake has reduced though which is why he's more hungry for solids, as I just can't seem to fit as many feeds into the day inbetween naps and solids! And he's even opening his mouth for the spoon now instead of me having to force the spoon in between clenched gums!

Last night was fine thanks. Eilidh was up once as usual. I was up about 15 times! I had secretly hoped that she might sleep all night

Zeeky Eilidh's appetite has really increased too - over the past 7 days or so. She is having 3 meals per day - previously she was only having a couple of soons but she is finishing her whole portion now. Teatime is a bit of a hit or miss, but I think thats because she is sometimes too tired. Milk feeds had decreased but she is now back up to breastfeeding almost as much as before she started solids ...where is she fitting it all?!

Hope you ladies are ok tonight... princess, how are things? Hope you are well.

I joined weight watchers this week but have had so much on food wise - eaten so mcuh since I joined, I think that I am going to be embarassed and gain weight on my first week ...anyway, I need to go, my DH made homemade flapjacks and I just have to have ten one

What a weekend for everyone. Hope all are OK today, esp princess. Quite jealous of those that got away for the weekend - was it lovely or was it a case of "sounds good on the tin but in reality..."? Sometimes I find that a break away with the DCs is harder work than staying at home!

WRT DHs, mine is great for practical home things - does more than his fair share I reckon - so I can't complain. But he does LOVE his sleep and that sometimes gets my goat a bit if I'm honest. If he manages to get up on the weekend for breakfast, he often "catches up" during the morning by snoozing on the sofa...

Things here going OK, although feeling a bit blue at the moment (bit like the weather). DS sleeping better for now. He's not doing the dream feed anymore so going through from bed time until anywhere between 1 and 4. I give him a bottle and then he tends to settle back to sleep until about 6.30 ish. He's eating better too, although still pretty much on fruit, veg and fromage frais. Has had some white fish - just done a second batch today to mix in with some pea and carrot puree.

Any flapjacks left haverina? Could just do with one right now...

Hi all. Haven't disappeared. Been lurking and have enjoyed all the weaning talk. Funny how different they all are.

Re:men. My DH has his good and bad days (as do I) and there's nothing like kids to put a strain on the relationship. Once our babies hit about one [sob] it should all get easier and life should hit an equilibrium (sp) again.

Sorry to dash in and out. Hi to the newbies. back soon.

Been using Lansinoh nipple cream stuff on Billies neck and has all but cleared up - now to find a way to prevent her from pivoting in her cot and getting wedged in and screaming like she is being murdered, and then doing the same bloody thing 15 mins later!

Hi ladies, just a quick one before i go to bed. princess hope you are feeling better and things are OK for you.
We did have a lovely break, the Eden project is Amazing. DD walked all round it, she must have walked miles, in the rainforest dome her cheeks got redder and redder and her hair got curlier and curlier, it was sooooo hot and humid in there. The pub we stayed in was very nice but on the main route between the other pubs and the nightclub, so it was very noisy between about 11pm and midnight. Alex was very up and down the first night, I think he might have been hungry as he didn't seem to think much of the jar food. I ended up taking him into the single bed with me in the little adjoining room, it was quite nice :). He was better the second night, although the nightclub-goers noise wasn't.
It was funny actually, I'm so used to taking the DCs out on my own everywhere it was great to have DH there too, I couldn't believe how much easier it made things having two of us. He still snores through the night though .
Talking of which - night all.

This may be TMI but ... I've just found my first grey pube.

TBH, it's actually my second, since when I first caught sight of it, I plucked it out in the hope it was just some grave mistake and my body would forget all about it and replace it with a normal one. Alas, twas not to be.

Harrumph.

DS enjoyed pureed white fish, carrot and pea BTW but woke up at 12.30 last night and then again at 4.30. I managed to stave him off at the midnight waking with his dummy (twice) and then he downed a full 7oz bottle at 4.30. Wouldn't touch a bottle at breakfast so I put the unused formula in with the ready brek, which he polished off with some pureed apple. He's now having his usual morning nap, hence MNing!

Think my blues are DC related - having a few irrational thoughts about bad things happening to them (a few accidents have happened to kids of people close to me, which has got me all anxious). I'm starting to come out the other side of it though for now.

bettymum - your break sounds lovely! We went to the Eden Project about 7 years ago (pre-DCs) and we were a bit disappointed but I'd love to go back there with DCs as I reckon it's probably vastly improved now it's more established.

DH keeps saying we should all get away for a few days... maybe I should take him up on it.

FYI, I've just changed my nickname (bored of HopHop).

stinky, I will give lansinoh a go, what a brilliant idea. I have a tube already which I have hardly touched.

bettymum, glad you had a nice time. It is brilliant having a second pair of hands around isn't it. Can't imagine how hard it must be having a baby and a toddler at the same time.

hophop, I tried an annabel karmel white fish recipe and it was yummy - it is with sweet potato and orange juice. I will look it out and post it when I have a bit more time.

I used to have terrible irrational thoughts too - I sleep walk and always used to worry that I would hurt Eilidh. Had never hurt anyone before - thats why it was irrational. I hardly slept for months but feel much better now.

stinky re: moving around in cot - we have started putting a light sheet over Eilidh and tucking her in. She rolls over alot less and is sleeping better too. Think maybe she feels more secure?

Hope you are all well

haverina - thanks, I'll keep a look out for the white fish recipe. If you've got any other good ones with meat in them, I'd appreciate those too as I think DS may get a bit sick of fish as it's the only protein he's had so far and that's all he's got lined up too! crap, uninspired mum that I am...

with grey pubes.

SIWM it is when your pubes disappear altogether you need to worry. I am impressed that you could see them... let alone pluck one!

Congratulations for lowering the tone

Oh no, you'll have me examining my pubes now!

at grey pubes talk!

princess hope things are better for you, you always seem so upbeat and happy on here hate to think of you upset.

just about to put a couple of pics up from Kacie's christening all went wonderfully and had a really nice day. she was good as gold bless her although she was quite fascinated with touching the minister's beard.

7 months on monday where has the time gone?!

You can always count on me to lower the tone - sorry about that! [hgrin]

Good to hear the christening went well nicnac. Quick question from the newbie... when you all talk about posting your photos, where exactly is that? Just curious. I probably won't post any on there myself (policy between DH and I re internet) but if you lot don't mind me being nosey, I'd love to take a look.

7 months... I know. How it flies. Next thing you know, DCs will be getting grey pubes!! [hshock] [hwink]