November 09 - rolling, laughing and cutting teeth ... but us mama's are still not getting sleep!!

[scarlotti]

New thread for us

hobnob how old is Isla now? how long have you put her on her front for? I really want to do this with DS but DH is not happy at all about it.

Hi Ladies. Sorry I've been awol - where on earth does the time go? I had already fallen behind with reading at Easter and that was aaaages ago! No way am I ever going to catch up.

Anyway, I hope you're all well, babies are nothing but joy and life in general treats you well. I'll go and do some reading now, I would never have believed a year ago that a four month baby can take up so much time... xx

pavlov, I can only recommend the bedtime routine! As you know, Paula is not the best sleeper but the bedtime routine works every time. And even now that she more or less refuses to sleep in the cot after the first waking, it still works and it is very easy to put her into the cot (sleeping though) and she does not wake up. In fact, today she had the bf muslin square in her mouth and opened her eyes when I tried to take it out... and she just closed them again and continued to sleep!
The other thing which worked really great yesterday: I expected her to wake up about 35-45 min later so I went into the bedroom a bit earlier and waited. With the first sign I took her out, rocked her a bit and put her back and she "slept through" until 11.30pm. You might try this for the naps as well, if your dd gives you the time to do that.
I think your plan to get him to sleep better sounds very reasonable. (so maybe you should do the opposite )

Pav sorry to hear about your DD. we had the bedtime clash too, but Isla became so difficult that it's easier to get her down first (took a while to get into a reasonable time-frame routine) and dd1 has had to learn how to be quiet for at least 10 minutes of the day whilst she gets ready for bed. If possible, get DH to deal with dd whilst you concentrate on Reuben. I was amazed at how quickly Isla settled into 7/8ish being her bedtime and now she's looking to go down at 630 some nights. She's 21 weeks and I started experimenting with tummy sleeping when she was 19 weeks. Our routine is either bath/massage/sleeping bag/feed in her room/bed or just sleeping bag in her room/feed/bed. In the past week or so I've been able to withdraw privileges from her when she has stopped swallowing and sit her up for a burp without her totally waking. She just inserts fingers and snuggles up. We don't have a routine for naps other than the routine of the nursery run or being in her room with the blind down prior to going down (if she's awake - more often than not she's fallen asleep during a feed and I pop her down).

Pavlov FWIW at night I put Bryn down with music / his seahorse on, his cloth to hold onto, and sometimes his dummy. Give the things you have suggested a try, I hope things work. Also really hope DD feels better soon, poor little lamb.

Hobnob as unfortunate as everything sounds, your post made me giggle simply for the way it was written!

Skorpion crazy, isn't it?

Would anyone like a family? My brother slammed the door and woke Bryn up three times this evening. My father bellowed at me for knocked things on the floor... When I was over the other side of the room. My mother will not stop trying to talk to me about things that have nothing to do with her. bangs head against wall

Am now watching Big Bang Theory and eating orange club biscuits. And pretending my water is something stronger

Hope you're all okay.

Pav the bedtime routine was introduced here to give me some peace and rest, so you are not alone. I don't do anything major, we just go upstairs to get his pj's on and then I don't come back down. If Ds1 wants, we have stories in my bed after I've changed and fed Ioan, then he goes down to his bed and I give a last feed. The consistent things are the pj's and drawing the curtains before I feed so it's not so bright.
I chose the buggy for naps as then I can get out and about. I did the cot with Ds1 and found myself either trapped in the house at nap time, or out somewhere with a baby that wouldn't sleep.
According to the no cry nap solution book I have, whatever you do to get him to sleep is what you should do to then extend the nap. I could send you my copy to borrow if you like, it's got some great tips in it.

SirB sorry to hear home is still so manic. Have you thought anymore about looking into getting your own place sorted out? (I could do with a project )
Have some spare clothes for you (well Bryn actually) so if you're about this week...? I hear cake calling

Scarlotti have text you I looked up the housing today again, but something about housing points (?!) confused me. From what I gather because I'm not homeless, it doesn't classify as over crowded (as its suitable for a mother and child to share a room until child is 7 apparently...) and the fact that DP does own his own place, even if it is too small for us all to live together, would all count against me You can correct me on everything over cake!!

Hi all, naps have been a bit better today. Millie slept for 30 mins this morning and then an hour and a half this afternoon. I put ds to bed this evening and came downstairs to feed Millie to find her asleep on dh's lap! I put her in her cot and haven't heard a peep since (all fingers and toes now crossed and touching lots of wood!)

Will look at my No Cry Sleep Solution book tomorrow to see about extending naps but thanks for all the tips ladies, good to know I'm not the only one with a sleep dodging baby!

Thanks guys! I don't feel glamours but you have made my year!

Pearl feeding update: i was eating an apple today and she tried to grab it so I gave it to her! She held it in both hands and sucked on it!

Also im really liking the teething necklace I actually think it is working!?!?!
But I feel like a terrible mother as the necklace closes with magnets and i accidentally trapped a little bit of pearl skin in it. I didn't realise for about 5 mins and only did when someone else pointed it out! I feel so terrible and guilty. Although she didn't react to it, it did leave a red mark.

Pav It took us 3 weeks to persuade Ethan that it was sensible for a baby to be in bed before 11pm... But he now goes in his cradle awake at 8pm and falls asleep. A huge improvement for us!! So stick with it.

Our progress was delayed somewhat by teething. It's amazing the difference in temperament teething causes!

My next hurdle is moving Ethan out of cradle & into cot and I need to deal with daytime naps but living in a 2nd floor flat makes using the pram to extend naps difficult as I'd then need to be out for an hour or 2. Haven't worked out my plan of action for this yet. Answers on a postcard please.

DWB no cay nap book says that running pram over a doorway (the lumpy bit that merges the carpets) is as good as being outside. Have done it and it does work!

DWB so happy tp hear that things worked out with Ethan.

pav - how are things with dh?

hobnob it's working at the moment but his sleeping has been so changeable over the past 6wks or so that I wouldn't be at all surprised if it changed again!

Thanks for the tip scarlotti. How long do you need to actively lengthen naps before it becomes their routine?

PS do you guys think these dresses would do for flower girls or would the fabric look cheap? I have 5 nieces and can't afford the £120 dresses from bridal shops or £60 from monsoon/next etc but want them to look nice. Would need to dye or replace the sash but that's easily done.

Second the suggestion of moving the buggy over the lumpy bit. Gets a bit repetitive, but does the trick

Wah. I have had a rubbish night!

Luckily, I was so tired that I went to bed at 8.30, as we were then up at 10, 12, 2 for about an hour each time, and have been up now since 4.30. James looks like he might sleep soon but Belle is up for the day. Maybe I need to try the no cry sleep solution? It seems to be working for some of you.

How do you know that they are not hungry though? This is my problem I think - he always seems to be hungry (or at least seems that way to me). How do I tell the difference?

DWB Those dresses look really pretty. I'm sure the flower girls will love them. They also have some reasonably priced ones in BHS. DD is being a flower girl this summer and we went to try one on their the other day - it looked very nice.

Do you leave the pushchair downstairs or is that not possible? We're in a flat but have our own entrance, so I sometimes walk James to sleep and then leave him downstairs (we're only up one flight though).

SirBoob I hope you can get something sorted with the council housing. I don't think it's relevant that DP has his own place, as you don't live with him. It's hardly up to the council to say you should move in with him. Anyway, you said it wasn't really baby-friendly. There is also housing benefit which you could get to pay the rent on a private flat. I'm sure Scarlotti will sort you out anyway!

DWB when i clicked on that link, it took me to the child wearing trousers and top for the measuring guide! I was a bit 'oh dear' at it, before realising and scrolled up! I think those dresses are gorgeous. Mind you, i am not the best judge, i got my flower girl dresses from sainsburys in a sale . You and your bridesmaids and flower girls are going to look so beautiful. I did not have a very expensive dress, for several reasons, but the biggest one was that I got married in a cave, in sept, in one of the wettest years ever and did not want to ruin it with mud if it cost the earth! a little part of me wishes i had, and the other part looks that state of the dress and does not regret it .

A better night. I feel like he slept for much much longer. But i did not write it down, as i was going to, as i could not find the torch or my glasses. Poor mite still has a cough and stuffy nose, and this does not help him to settle back off, but i fed him less. I did do a routine last night, which i will stick to, it was just later than i had hoped. He was definitely ready at 8pm and we missed the window so he went at 9pm, asleep by 9:30pm. He woke at 12:15am, which is an improvement on the last few nights (11pm, then 12:30am), then 2;30am, the another time, and I think that was it til 7am. He woke once I think and grimbled and i left him for a while and he went back to sleep with my hand on his chest, so the ncss book helped there. And he fed then straight back to bed, no more us both falling asleep with him suckling. took a while at 2:30am to settle him back, but i rocked his body with my hands and he liked that (thanks ncss again!).

All in all, i feel marginally less hanging today. And able to get up with DD, at 6:45am, before Reuben woke. I went to bed with Reuben and had longer between each snatch of sleep. DH has a horrid horrid cough, and a bit of a fever this morning, so i have left him in bed. He never gets ill and has been unwell once already since giving up smoking. I have given him some paracetamol and left him in bed. I shall be nice to him today.

hobnob things are much improved. We are both trying really hard to be nice, to not be grumpy. Not take our moods out on each other. In particular he is recognising when he is off and has apologised a few times. Things are not perfect, but significantly better. I think me telling him our relationship was on the rocks really really shocked him and has made him think. He was not happy when i said it, defenses up, got all narky, but i think after that, he has thought about it. He told me he could not lose us, that he does love me and does respect me. But, early days yet. Part of me leaving him in bed - he says i have no sympathy whatsoever (i agree, florence nightingale i am not ) so i am trying harder too.

laugs sorry you have had such an awful night, and up at such an early time . ncss book says to leave them to grimble for a bit and learn to read their sounds to see if they are asleep and grimbling or really needing you. I tried it last night, and on one of the times he did go back to sleep. But like you, i am not convinced he is not a hungry boy, and perhaps the other times he could have gone back to sleep too but i was too worried he was hungry . Book also talks a lot about time and patience. I had little of that as it is!

Was Belle up at 4:30am too? does she nap at all now? she is just a little younger than my Bella isn't she? (love how their names are similar, i remember a while ago when they both used to have stairs issues at the same time...that was you wasn't it?)

Just looking up the No Cry Sleep Solution. Do you really need the sleep book AND the nap book, or are they basically the same?

Pav glad things are a bit better with DH

read all the posts thoroughly, this Pantly woman really does have a lot to answer for doesn't she? maybe we should sell her some advertising space on our thread! I have to bypass some of her whittling on as she is a bit frilly in places, but once you cut through that, she makes a lot of sense.

i don't think you need both book laugs, at least, not immediately, i would say. I got mine from ebay for £2.00 and free postage!

DWB those dresses are lovely I had similar from BHS for my flower girls - they have more colour choices if that helps and are just as reasonably priced.
According to the no cry nap woman, you lengthen their naps yourself for as long as needed (she does get a bit vague at times) some babies will adjust themselves over a week or two and others will always need help
I'm just trying to arrange my day so I'm now on the move in the buggy around 12:30/1ish. Doesn't always work though!

Laugs How old is James? We had a dreadful few nights around the 5 month mark where I was up again frequently and since then he's much more settled and takes more milk in a stint. I use the dummy in those times, if he goes back off for an hour or two then it's comfort/habit waking. 40 mins or less then it's hunger. That's all my addled brain can cope with in the night!

As to getting both books, I'd say no. I thought I'd bought the sleep book but saw it was the nap book once I'd left the shop You could always try the library?

SirB we'll look at your options tomorrow but like Laugs, I was thinking along the housing benefit route rather than actual council housing as the lists are long and as you say, the points scoring thing is complex. I will do some research today!

Pav glad to hear you had a marginally better night, sounds like you're on the right track. I found that even small changes seem to make a big difference and then it sort of gathers momentum. Ioan's cold certainly did disrupt things as he was coughing himself awake.
Glad you and your dh are sorting things out. I think a wake up call can do wonders sometimes and as you say, you are also recognsising what you can do so it's teamwork all the way!

My nights are ok again. Ioan just wakes once now for a feed around 3:30. I did the dummy thing on first waking last night but he woke again soon after so just took him in for a feed. He takes quite a lot of milk so he's obviously hungry. Went back off then though and woke at 6:50 That's the second morning he's slept until nearer 7 and it makes such a difference. The only change for us is me getting him to nap longer in the day so maybe that's what is helping?

Right, off to meak Ioan some breakfast as am upping his meals today. 2 hourly feeding yesterday makes me think he needs more!!

scarlotti I'm similar at the moment with a feed around 4am. MIL said by now we should be leaving him during the night as he's not hungry but I definitely think he is. If we continue with 8-8 and feeds at 11 & 4 I'll be happy with that. Not "sleeping through" but I know it could be worse and hopefully it will improve with age.

dresses Had a quick look in BHS and thought they were all around £65 but will look again, thanks ladies! Pav one of my nieces is a bit of a tomboy so may well prefer the trousers! She goes to sleep in a Princess bed wearing her Ben10 pjs!

sirboob Just want to say how impressed I am with your 'keeping the heid' (staying calm) as I'd have been in a rage with your mum and probably still wouldn't have calmed down. You're doing v well!