November 09 - rolling, laughing and cutting teeth ... but us mama's are still not getting sleep!!

[scarlotti]

New thread for us

scarlotti hope you had a good birthday yesterday, sorry its belated wishes!

Tesco seem quite good for baby clothes, (especially the baby boutique clothes) bought a gorgeous white dress with silver sequins sewn on and a big sash in 12-18 mo so that it'll fit her by her birthday (with cardi and tights on too, so wont be cold) Was sooo pretty but dh thought it was quite expensive for £12, (not bad IMO) so I left it but when I popped to get something else from another isle he'd gone back for it and put it in the trolley. God I love that man!

scarlotti, she is still in our room and will be for quite a while as with the layout of our house it is just more convenient. We usually do not wake her up and lately it is more the opposite. I get fed up with running up and down every two minutes that I usually go to bed because of her waking up all the time.
I guess she knows that she can stay in my bed I just do not understand why it is always at about the same time and fine first but not after 10. strange, strange.
I guess I just have to continue and she will eventually stay in longer.

Ninja Well done Alfie, although not entirely sure I know what that is in old money
No change with dh, so if I just put up with the lack of action etc. then it's fine. Ironically yesterday he was ill in bed all day. Strangely he always seems ill (and is ill) when there's something that requires extra effort going on. Am wondering if it's psychosomatic.

Trikken sounds like a bargain dress to me! Just got the vests and they are £2 for 3

ursi Ioan is in our room (or mine as it is really!) too so am the same as you. I think their body clock just gets used to the routines. Ioan will naturally stir now around the dream feed time so he's learnt roughly what time that is. I also take him in around 3am and do wonder if he wakes for cuddles and feeds anyway, or if it's the other way around. If I try and put him back in his hammock at that time of night he complains, but he settles really well at 7pm and again at 10:30pm after the dream feed so it is his expectation that's the issue!

The longer naps seem to have stuck!! He napped for 1.5 hours this morning and has now been down for 40 mins without a peep. Am really hoping I've cracked it .. although naturally now I've voiced that it's doomed!

Hi all,

Happy birthday scarlotti for yesterday!

Millie's daytime naps are improving but for the last 3 nights she has woken around 4am and is wide awake. Not crying or upset, just awake (and therefore keeping me awake as I can here her chatting through the monitor!) I vaguely remember ds going through this at a similar age but can't remember how I got him to stop, or maybe he just stopped on his own. Anyway, I wish Millie would pack it in as I am sooooo tired!

Gave Millie some food yesterday, some banana and pitta bread (in the form of blw!) She only really gummed the pitta but she mashed the banana in her hand and was sucking her fingers for ages! I think banana is a winner! Going to give her some carrots and pear tonight and see how she gets on. Am hoping that once she eats she'll sleep more, fingers crossed!

I've just been laughing so much I was almost in tears as apparently I just invented the funniest game ever. I was changing Paula who was in a bad mood because of tiredness so I sang one of our usual songs but replaced many words with fake coughing. I really have never seen her laughing that much. So obviously that motivated me even more to do the coughing in a really exaggerated way which made her laugh even more.
I'm wondering if this will still be funny in a couple of hours or days as usually when she really loves something it doesn't bother her that much when I try it again.
scarlotti, congratulations on the napping. I'm starting to try the blending today.

Ok don't have much time to post but wanted to report that I did get some sleep last night thanks to DH. His home early turned out to be 715, but he did do the night shift as promised. Isla went down as he arrived home, was up again at 10 or so for half an hour and then woke at about 330. He took over an hour to calm her down, but when he did she came into bed with us and slept peacefully until morning except for a few protests at imminent farts.

I honestly don't know what is up with her. Either she has an incredibly low pain threshold for teething and/or she has a really sore tummy for some reason. To top it all she's developed sniffles since last night. Today has been a bit better, but she has still spent a good portion of it just screaming in seeming pain and agony and there's nothing I can do about it . I did a fair bit of trudging with the pram this afternoon and managed to get her to fall asleep for an hour and a half.

Need help: I'm new to the whole birthday parties for nursery friends thing. We've had two invites for parties at venues. Do we bring presents? How expensive? etc. Also the playing next door thing is new to me too. DD1 seems to spend a lot of time next door where there are 3 kids, 11, 7 and 4. I feel a bit guilty that they are never here (but who wants to play with a 3yo's toys?) and a bit negligent that I'm happy to leave her be and enjoy the peace . She always has a snack there too which is more often than not a wee packet of haribos which I'm not that happy about (a) that she probably asks for it and (b) that it's haribos). Hmmm. Once you get used to one challenge another one crops up, eh?

BTW DH's apparent gallantry is probably more to do with the fact that he wants to go on a night out tonight with an overnight stop at his sister's - she moves out of her flat in town this weekend to they're having a last-chance outing.

so the nap blending....
I didn't go tooo well. Everything started fine, she fell asleep, I put her in the pram where she continued to sleep. After 20min we left. And 5min she woke up and there was no way she would just go back to sleep. Once again I had to carry her home (at least not too far this time). So in fact, she slept less than normal and was in a very bad mood. After an hour in the sling she fell asleep again though.
So, scarlotti, what did I do wrong? One mistake was probably that I did not consider how hungry she is these days. She can usually do three hours, a bit less lately as she is still catching up after her virus. So, when we came home I fed her to get her back to sleep and I have to admit that she took quite a lot. So I'm hoping that this was it and will try again tomorrow. Or is there anything else I have to consider?

Well... I went to bed last night and DP got up and out to work this morning without speaking to each other. Had another argument when DP came home this evening, he was 'very hurt' by my criticism of his mother. In fairness to DP, his dad has epilepsy and they both had to stop working while the family was young as DFIL wasn't well enough to work and DMIL had to care for him and the children. He is understandably very proud of her and a bit touchy on the subject!

Anyway, argument unresolved but I had some uni stuff to do tonight so DP dealt with Ethan's bedtime and put him down in the cot forgetting that he needs fed before bed. We left him a few minutes then when he started to cry I went in and fed him then put him back down in the cot. He cried for around 5 minutes, DP went in to settle him and apparently as soon as he picked him up Ethan started to fall asleep in his arms so he quickly put him back in the cot and lo and behold, Ethan is fast asleep! DP now accepts that my approach has worked this evening and we will continue with this for the time being.

I also got an apology for being made to feel as though he was criticising my parenting skills last night and told that I'm an amazing mother.

Everything is sorted and he's away out for a takeaway for our dinner. Happy families once more!

hobnob glad you had more sleep last night. Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree but would something like swimming be helpful for Isla? Would it help her relax and maybe the motion help her wind? I really do sympathise as I know how I feel after an hour of Ethan's crying and you have it so much worse! At least you know it won't go on forever and you've survived 5/6 months already. x

didn't get job. Again! Want to curl up and die now- really!

Oh wook, don't be disheartened, the right job for you is just around the corner!

hobnob just sending you some hugs, don't know what to suggest and am sure you've tried everything. Is it definitely either teething or wind/tummy troubles? No chance there's something else lurking?

ursi the nap book says that you need to do whatever you normally do to blend the cycles. So if Paula isn't a movement napper then the pram idea might not work. Does she always fall asleep in the sling? If so, can you try that for a few days - start off in the sling and when she falls asleep sit down for your 25 mins, then go for a walk at the blending time?
I will dig out my book and see what else she suggests.

DWB glad you've got things sorted

scarlotti, well, she usually sleeps in the pram, but only if I put her in when she is tired already. And she usually wakes up after the 35min. Sometimes she goes for a second or even third cycle but I really haven't found out yet on what it depends. One long one was when we went to John Lewis so taking a bus plus rather standing was involved. Maybe we blended the cycles without knowing.
I can only think of one thing where she falls asleep even if she has not been tired originally would be the airplane , that might get a bit expensive though
I think I'll try again the pram tomorrow as she can be in the sling awake for a long time as it is such a good place to observe everything ...

DWB, glad things are better

wook so sorry to hear about the job, don't get disheartened.

ursi ok, book says that you can either intervene before the end of the first cycle - do this by either walking as you tried today, or by jiggling/rocking/bouncing mattress either side of baby for about 10 mins from 5 mins before the usual wake up time. The idea is that baby will stir slightly and then the movement will send them back off.
Another option is to wait until she's just waking then use any method to get her back to sleep - feeding included. The idea is that after a week of doing this, her body clock will adjust to taking longer naps herself and you won't have to help. There is a chapter on how to stop feeding to sleep but the advice seems to be extend the naps first, then deal with bad sleep association habits later.
I wonder if your John Lewis trip was successful down to the movement of the bus?

They all just seem to be so much more wakeful at the moment, eh? Too much to learn, not time for sleep!

wook so sorry to hear about your bad day. Did you get feedback? Having been on the recruiting side for schools for my technician and my matty covers, a lot of it is about personality-matching within departments as well as skills/experience so I like to think that the right school for you will give you the job and you may have just had a lucky escape from potentially tricky colleagues?

Had a bad evening again, and poor DD1 has borne the brunt of it all this week. Isla was actually pretty ok this afternoon but got very tired at tea time even though it was earlier than usual. Dd1 was dragging her heels about finishing as usual and I wasn't in the mood fir giving in so Isla actually fell asleep on me whilst waiting. but I had to change her nappy and get jammies on which woke her. She fed, farted, burped and then began the crying again. She did fall asleep a couple of times but got woken by DD1 coming in to offer me bits of food from her toy kitchen, bless her. I didn't receive them very graciously though . It got to the point where I was crying as much as Isla was and rehearsing conversations to NHS24. I gave her some neurofen even though she's had calpol 2 hours before (I hate all this medication) and she eventually fell asleep properly at 745. I couldn't find DD1 after that and feared that she'd disappeared next door to go and find a family that would talk to her, but eventually found her asleep in my bed. Poor kid. She's needed her hair washed since swimming on Tuesday and I've just not been able to do it . I just woke her, got a nappy on her, read a story and put her to bed. DH is out tonight as planned.

Scarlotti I'm pretty much certain now that something else is up. It's so hard with food intolerances because you blame them first when all is not well. But she has been like this since Sunday and it's not right that she needs 2 painkillers to be able to sleep. She was dropping off several times only to wake up screeching. Not right. But no temp. She was getting spots on her cheeks this afternoon but I haven't kept tabs on them this evening with her being in a dim room. Will check tomorrow and see how tonight goes. Whatever it is I doubt that a GP could do anything other than suggest calpol and neurofen anyway.

hobnob well done on making it through yesterday evening without dh's help. Please don't beat yourself up about dd1, luckily they don't remember and the fact that you are aware of it will mean you are a little more attentive than you fear you are.
At least if there is something else wrong at the moment, you can hunker down and get through it in the knowledge that soon you will be back to normality which you have all learnt to cope with.
If it helps, my two needed bathing for days last week and I only got around to it Friday night

wook are you ok? I saw your other thread and have posted there too. Sending you big hugs.

Another wakeful night here and an early start. Fed at 2:30 and 5 last night so it's creeping forward time wise Am praying you're right hobnob and it's some sort of developmental spurt/milestone and so it might ease in a few days - have done 3 nights now so hopefully halfway through?! Am also wondering now if the early start is because his nappy is full as he's back to 2 feeds in the night. Something to try tonight anyway.

Looks like work will start the week after next now. Reference form was scanned and sent back, then 3 days later they emailed to say it was too feint?! Nothing like being on the ball eh?
At least I have another week off now and can hopefully start lunch going.

hobnob Have you got the support of a good HV? I hope you have a nice weekend and Isla settles down.

We've had a weird week here. Like Paula ursi, C is in the cot from 8pm and will wake up any time from 9.30pm and wants to cuddle and co sleep for the rest of the night. We've co-slept since he was born, but normally from 4am. I've ended up laying on the bed with C and then falling to sleep myself, leaving DH downstairs in the middle of watching a programme or film . DH came upstairs at about 11pm and moved C from the bed and placed him back in his cot. Within 5 mins C was trying to move his way over to me (cot beside the bed), he would not settle and was becoming louder and more wakeful. I ended up bringing him back to our bed, he fell asleep straight away all cuddled up next to me. So another night of lack of sleep, bad back and the need for SPACE!! I'm missing my own side of the bed and having it to myself. I do love the cuddles and warmth of havng him there, but it's starting to feel after 6 months that co-sleeping isn't working for us anymore.

As well as the sleep probs. I'm experiencing some very erratic behaviour whilst BF. He keeps playing around. Grinding his gums on me, pulling his head back with nipple still placed in his mouth, fussing over which boob to take. It's become stressful to feed. He's happy in himself most of the time. So it's difficult to work out what's going on.

Sorry for the me me post

Hope you all have glorious weather today BBQ for us today. Off to get DS1 some summer shorts this morning.

Fruit same things with bf going on here too, the pulling when latched on is a particular favourite When he grinds or pulls I say a sharp 'no' and pull away. He's cried twice at the sharpness of my tone but fingers crossed it does seem to have stopped it a bit.

I think they're just distracted at all that's going on. I find it happens towards the end of a feed when the hunger is gone so less focus on feeding going on.

I wonder what age separation anxiety starts? Maybe that would account for all these babies wanting mummy in the night?

fruit and scarlotti, we had the pulling as well and I just wish I could get it back as we swaped to biting . I do try the saying no thing too but I'm not sure if it is working. I agree with you scarlotti, it happens when too distracted or not hungry anymore. The worst time was when we met our friends from antenatal classes and she was just too excited about all the mums and babies. It was impossible to feed her and I was even bleeding afterwards. And I am so scared at the moment that I usually do not offer her my breast again if she has latched off by herself as then she seems not hungry enough anymore. You don't have to worry though. She is really getting enough these days as she is still catching up and we are also back to several dirty nappies a day.

We are now officially also in the tummy sleeping group. Last night, when my husband tried to settle her, she moved so much while he tried to transfer her to the cot that she "landed" on her side and then turned to the belly. We let her as she is definitely strong enough to move her head (she couldn't roll though with the grobag on). And she slept from 10 to 2.30. Then she was wide awake but happy and I had to take her into bed to make sure she would fall asleep again.
Not sure, what we will do now, if we should allow her the tummy sleeping on a regular basis.

Well, long post for a saturday. I hope you'll all have a lovely weekend.

That's interesting scarlotti. Ioan and C are approaching the 6 month mark and they're becoming much more aware of themselves. I've also said a firm 'no' too. Hasn't worked so far Maybe I need to be more firmer. The pulling the head back business is a big favourite here. I feel a little envaded I guess. It's been so nurturing up until now and then for this to start happening is a little upsetting. C doesn't like me leaving the room. I think seperation anxiety does begin around the 6 month mark.

Ursi Glad you had a better night. C likes to lay on his side. I layed him down last night in the cot in this position. He does seem much happier like that. I think the sleeping bag does restrict him though. I was speaking to DH earlier to possibly try him without it to see if he's more comfortable. I seem to recall DS1 who was in his cot in the nursery (good sleeper) getting stuck in tummy position as he couldn't roll on to his back again. We spent a few weeks getting up to him and helping him change position. Very tiring stage but didn't last forever.

Just sweeping in for a hug for wook. x

Hey all. Had a better night last night, and guess what? I did not routine, and put him to bed later than normal! We were out all day and he was outside literally from 10:30am - 7:30pm, then in front of an open fire from 7:30pm to 9:00pm. He was in shade of course, but outside in my friends family home in the countryside, he napped in his car seat and breathed in fresh air, i fed him at 7:30pm, he slept on me til 9:00pm, in the car til 9:30pm, home and nappy change, in bed more milk at 10pm, asleep til 2:30am, then a quick feed at 5am (but would probably have fallen asleep sucking his fingers if I had the courage to leave him crying, will do that tonight), then awake and happily gurgling at 7am. So tonight i will feed him no later than 7:30pm, the give him a dream feed at 10:30pm or so, see if that works. Routine, he does have a blanket as part of his sleep routine, and had that with him last night, and his sleeping bag on, perhaps enough of a routine.

ursi glad Paula slept better, I think we will do tummy sleeping soon as he wakes up coughing, and i know i can't sleep on my back when i am bunged up.

wook sorry you did not get the job, something will come up, its a tough world out there at the moment in the field of work, DH has found it hard, but it will happen.

Dr is now saying Reuben as a virus as the cause f his coughing and wheezing, again. Gone round in circles, he is now saying he has had a virus/continous virus' since Christmas, he said, not an allergy as he has my antibodies so not likely to have air born allergies, but could not explain why he gets virus' then, if he has my antibodies, as I am not get theses virus'. His attitude now is 'wait it out until he grows a bit' thanks for that. And then he said his red eyes were not an allergy, just reaction to the sun, as 'otherwise he would show other signs of allergy such as green gunk in his eyes and runny nose' er....hellooooooo?! I just told you he has gunk in his eyes not 5 seconds ago and you said it was the virus!!! and same for his nose, you said the virus was not in his lungs but all in his nose . He has not got a clue. Honestly, think its about time he retired now

Scarlotti Sorry things are not moving. It's so frustrating once you have made up your mind to act but are restrained from doing so. I lived with my sons dad for 6mnths after officially leaving him (mentally had left years before). It was hell. I think he thought the longer he just hung around the more likely I was to just forget we had split or some such. You are doing the best by your dd though x
9.1k is about 20lb by the way.

Wook rejection of any type is hard. You need to remind yourself of the achievements you have made during your career (a yp you have given aspiration too etc) and hold onto that until the right job comes up x

Ninja thanks for that, it's just what I need to hear today. The weekends are always tough as we're then in each others pockets. I am just going to have to make sure each relate session doesn't give any false impression though so I can have a clear conscience.
Oh, and go Alfie!!

Pav hooray for the sleeping! Our routine isn't that much more than a sleeping bag and getting changed and fed upstairs!

ursi at your biting experience, hope it's getting better.