November 09 - rolling, laughing and cutting teeth ... but us mama's are still not getting sleep!!

[scarlotti]

New thread for us

I am at my wits' end with this screeching child. Someone tell me it's perfectly normal for a 5 month old to screech for 24 hours solid at times. Please.

PS no rash, before anyone asks. She's not even as bloated as normal.

scarlotti Is it your birthday today? My FB is telling me it is! Happy Birthday to you!

I've got behind the last few days and can't catch up with you all. Sorry some of you are having problems with naps and night times. Having a problem today with naps, not usually an issue most days. Last night was awful. Hourly feeding and I'm shattered. Sleep just isn't happening today [sad} I think its a combination of, 6 month growth spurt/teething/wind. He's not crying just very grumpy. Given calpol just now, hoping whatever is bothering him this will help. Tried everything else today!

Also, C gummed down really hard on my nipple today. I feel like it's on fire sitting here. ursi I'm sorry you've had some bites. I'm dreading the teeth appearing

Have loads to do today. My bedroom wardrobe is a tip and so is DH's. I need to sort out the winter and summer clothes.

Doesn't it feel weird that we were all pregnant this time last year? Getting over the morning sickness/scans starting to happen. I don't miss those early weeks at all! If I were to be pg again , I wouldn't go through the MS like I did and not take medication for it. I don't know why I didn't go to the GP about it

Hope you've all got good weather today. Has anyone been to Dymchurch before? Thinking of a family day out.

Mega explosive nappy just happended. Sleeping baby

hobnob Have you got those teething sachets, the granules? I know that they're supposed to soothe & calm, might be worth a try? Have you tried going for a walk with the pram or going for a drive? Another thing which works here is swinging DS in his carseat but it's far too heavy with my 18lb baby for me to do... Hope she settles soon and you're ok x

tried the teething sachets, neurofen, gripe water (spat out),etc. HV ringing to check up in the morning.

DH's 'early' turned out to be late...

hobnob am so sorry to hear you're still struggling with Isla, I can only imagine how hard it must be on you all. Do your HV/GP or anyone have any thoughts on what you can do?

Fruit yes it is, and thanks

Hobnob poor you, and poor Isla

hobnob, I really hope things improve soon for Isla and you!

scarlotti, happy birthday from me as well.

hobnob sorry things are difficult for Isla atm, must be so heartbreaking to hear her in distress and so hard for you too. I hope she finds some comfort soon and you can get some sleep.

scarlotti happy birthday!

dh has a job interview! a good job positive vibes needed.

Pavlov sending cautionary positive vibes. When is it?

Pav keeping things crossed

hobnob cross posted earlier. Poor you and Isla. Hope she has settled for you this evening and you get some sleep. Your DH sounds like a lovely man (read he's comment on FB)

wednesday. i am not going to talk about it any more. We always get too excited. This time, it is just a job interview, not putting all our eggs in this basket. But i had to say something, as I am pleased. Even DH is not excited.

hobnob Hoping tonight is better for you.

scarlotti Many happy returns!

I've just had an argument with DP. He returned from rugby just after 9 with Ethan screaming and me just eating my dinner. I decided to persevere with moving Ethan into his cot tonight but will only let him cry for 5 mins at a time before going in to calm him then leave again. DP thinks this is the wrong approach, we should just put him to bed and close the door.

Anyway he quoted his mum's advice about Ethan knowing he sleeps in our room and we shouldve moved him before now yada yada yada. I said that advice had changed since our mums had children and that babies under six months shouldn't be left to cry and should also sleep in their parents' room until six months to help prevent cot death.

He asked "what's wrong with us, we were brought up that way. You're going to end up being under the baby's thumb forever, you'll be the type of mum who does everything for your kids" to which I replied... "Do you think my son will grow up not knowing how to do laundry and iron his clothes?" Him: "Are you having a go at my mum now?" Me "You can't even use cutlery properly! You pick your nose in public, sniff instead of blowing your nose, scratch your balls in your own mothers living room! Do you think any of my brothers would behave like that in my mum's house?..."

He then got pretty p*ed off and called me a few names. Have I just broken a commandment, Thou shalt not criticise your Mother in law, under any circumstances?

Annoyingly, leaving Ethan to cry for ten mins worked and he seems to be asleep. On the one occasion where I wanted him to keep crying!!!

PS the only reason I am moving Ethan into the cot now is that he's managed to shake his head so aggressively (his crazy going to sleep habit) that he has knocked the peg out of the cradle twice, leaving it on an angle and poor Ethan lying at the side of the cradle!

...and it didn't work, he's still awake!!

dwb MILs are sacred dont you know, especially the mothers of sons. You are not, and will not ever be as good a mum as she is, and dont ever think you know better than her. You simply Do Not. .

Next time he says that, just say 'yes dear, you are right dear, mother knows best dear' then when you want to go get Ethan as he has cried too long, just go get him .

I hate leaving the children to cry. Even now. With DD 3 sometimes clearly manipulating the situation to get her own way/avoid DH cleaning her teeth or putting her to bed, it breaks my heart to hear her distraught 'mamaaaaa, i want my mamaaaaa' knowing i have to let him deal with the situation and not just go and sweep her into my arms going 'shhhhh shhhhh its ok mama is here'.

I also hate the lines of 'well we are fine, did us no harm'. Er, sometimes, i beg to differ!

DWB there was an article on the news tonight about the studies done about leaving babies to cry. Recent research indicates that the levels of cortisol in babies when they're left to cry can have damaging effects on the brain.
Cite that one to him next time.

Men and their mothers are a tricky one - Dh will never have a word said against his.

Hope you make up soon you could always do the reconciliation thing by saying you like the fact that you are both working out how you want to parent, as you feel it brings you closer together

Scarlotti i did some training on attachment theory and we observed the effects of high levels of cortisol on some babies, from studies of orphans in romania. Very interesting subject. DH thinks it is all a pile of BS. I think it has validity in the whole attachment theory idea.

scarlotti I did! But research clearly has nothing on his mother's opinion.

Honestly, he has the most horrible bad habits... Surely it's his parents to blame for that?! And the fact that he can't sort washing, work a washing machine or iron. My mum bought us all our own laundry/ironing baskets when we turned 16!

I'm not too angry but he is absolutely fuming. Not sure how to resolve this one. Hoping I won't have to grovel when I kind of meant every word

Is it just my DP that is sure his mother is not human? And is it slightly cruel that whenever there is a storm we whisper that she must be in a bad mood? And that she will send the flying monkeys to follow her instructions if they are not adhered to?

DWB horrible to argue, but sounds like you got some stuff off your chest that needed to be said. And you are totally in the right; following safety requirements is not "doing everything". It is protecting them as much as is logically possible. Hope you get an apology.

Pav intersting stuff that attachment theory. I do think there's something in it. I also can't physically leave him to cry, his (and all of my dc's) cry just grates inside my brain and stresses me out instantly so I have to stop it. Nature's way I think.

DWB maybe it's a Scottish mother thing? DH was at home for far too long and his mum was a sahm so did everything for them. Consequently he is quite hopeless at knowing what needs doing.
I wouldn't grovel, just try and pacify when you feel the time is right. If you meant what you said then grovelling too much will take it away iyswim.
I had to teach dh to sort washing and I still get asked now when he's sorting piles out

SirB be thankful he thinks that way!!

DWB, sorry to hear about your arguement. I guess it is always hard when other people critisize your parents (even if you moan about them yourself). But I think you were right. And maybe there will be a time were you can speak about the parenting style more calmly and you can show him latest research results. I read a bit about attachment parenting and was really surprised about the benefits. And it is the style that is just quite natural for me. Maybe your partner should actually do some research on his own before making his mind up.

Well, nights are getting better here. But Paula still refuses the cot after 10pm. I really don't understand this. I put her in at 8pm without a problem, she most likely wakes up once or twice but it's really easy to put her back. But from 10 on it is impossible. I usually try for 30min up to 1 hour. She falls asleep, I put her in, she stays asleep and two min later wahwahwah... until I take her into my bed where she sleeps and wakes up at 1 and at 5, 6 and 6.30 almost 7ish sometimes. How can it be nice in the cot for the first two hours but then not anymore?
It is great though to get those long stretches
And I also realised that she doesn't want to use her own fingers for comfort anymore, she would rather eat her grobag. I wonder if she has been biting herself and found it painful

Another double feed night here and a 6am start (yawn!) He's now feeding at 3 and 5 but then pretty much nothing at the 7am feed. Upped the amount of breakfast he had today and am going to give him lunch too, hopefully that might start to fill him up in the day so he's more rested at night [clings on to straws emoticon!]

Little monkey had a 1.5 hour nap this morning - somebody needs to tell him that it's the wee hours that are for the extra sleep time!

ursi could it be that Paula now knows that she can go in with you from around 10? Is she still in your room? I wonder if the noise of you going up to bed is the trigger for her to realise it's cuddle with mummy time.
I still take Ioan in with me from when he wakes in the middle of the night. I figure he won't be waking forever and it really does save my sanity to co-sleep from 3 as then he goes straight back off.

DWB hope you made up with DP

Off to tesco now to find some 6-9 months long sleeved vests. Have been to 4 shops now looking and nobody has that size left ... are there too many 6 month olds in Brighton at the moment?!

Hello.

Am lurking but can't keep up.

Alfie weighed in last week at 9.1kg. Not bad for 19weeks . He is wearing 12-18mnths clothes . HV said he's not ready to wean as still gaining weight .

DWB remember these moments and one day you will be a fantastic mother in law

Sca how are things with dh?